Humorous Quotes
- Thread starter Calihan
- Start date
G
Guest
Guest
Re: Humorious Quotes
Captain Jim Brass: You're under arrest for obstructing justice, tampering with state's evidence, and violating seven articles of being scumbag.
Captain Jim Brass: You're under arrest for obstructing justice, tampering with state's evidence, and violating seven articles of being scumbag.
obsession_360
Coroner
Re: Humorious Quotes
i dont know if other people would find this funny but the way she said it was priceless...btw it might not be the exact quote.
Warrick: How's the smell down there?
Cath: Funkayyy
i dont know if other people would find this funny but the way she said it was priceless...btw it might not be the exact quote.
Warrick: How's the smell down there?
Cath: Funkayyy
Asimplekndofgirl
Rookie
Re: Humorious Quotes
Striper(to Grissom): You sure you don't want a dance? I could be your specimen, you could be my mad scientist.
Catherine: He already is sweetheart, thanks.
(from Assume Nothing)
--------------------
This scene just had a lot of funny quotes...
Grissom(to Warrick): What do you weigh?
Warrick: Uh...thats between me and my trainer.
Grissom: Do I have to get a scale?
Warrick: A buck 95 give or take a donut.
(Grissome looks to Sara)
Sara: Don't even ask. I'm not telling you.
Grissom: Warrick, would you lie down on the floor?
Warrick: I don't get paid enough to play dead.
Grissom: Please?
(Warrick gets on the ground)
Grissom: Sara grab Warricks right arm, see if you can drag him across the room.
Sara: This does have something to do with the case, right?
Grissom: You don't trust me?
(Sara drags Warrick)
Warrick: You're such a drag.
Grissom: Stay there a minute.
(Grissom goes up to someone talking in the hall)
Grissom: Excuse me, hi Judy right?
(Judy nods head)
Grissom: Judy would you like to be a part of a little experiement?
Judy: I'm a secretary, besides I heard what you did to Greg's feet.
Grissom: You'll keep your shoes on I promise.
(from Blood Lust)
Striper(to Grissom): You sure you don't want a dance? I could be your specimen, you could be my mad scientist.
Catherine: He already is sweetheart, thanks.
(from Assume Nothing)
--------------------
This scene just had a lot of funny quotes...
Grissom(to Warrick): What do you weigh?
Warrick: Uh...thats between me and my trainer.
Grissom: Do I have to get a scale?
Warrick: A buck 95 give or take a donut.
(Grissome looks to Sara)
Sara: Don't even ask. I'm not telling you.
Grissom: Warrick, would you lie down on the floor?
Warrick: I don't get paid enough to play dead.
Grissom: Please?
(Warrick gets on the ground)
Grissom: Sara grab Warricks right arm, see if you can drag him across the room.
Sara: This does have something to do with the case, right?
Grissom: You don't trust me?
(Sara drags Warrick)
Warrick: You're such a drag.
Grissom: Stay there a minute.
(Grissom goes up to someone talking in the hall)
Grissom: Excuse me, hi Judy right?
(Judy nods head)
Grissom: Judy would you like to be a part of a little experiement?
Judy: I'm a secretary, besides I heard what you did to Greg's feet.
Grissom: You'll keep your shoes on I promise.
(from Blood Lust)
Catherinesmyidol
Coroner
Re: Humorious Quotes
Just a few of my favorites:
Catherine: It's raining man juice?!
Sara: Hallelujah?
Sara: Grissom, tape me up?
Grissom: I love my job.
Catherine: Hello Sexy.
Catherine: What the hell kind of music is that?
Sara: Pin me down.
Sara: Since when are you interested in beauty?
Grissom: Since I met you.
Sara: Eww, busy.
Grissom: May I come in?
Lady Heather: What's the magic word?
Brass: Warrant!
I'll have more later...
Just a few of my favorites:
Catherine: It's raining man juice?!
Sara: Hallelujah?
Sara: Grissom, tape me up?
Grissom: I love my job.
Catherine: Hello Sexy.
Catherine: What the hell kind of music is that?
Sara: Pin me down.
Sara: Since when are you interested in beauty?
Grissom: Since I met you.
Sara: Eww, busy.
Grissom: May I come in?
Lady Heather: What's the magic word?
Brass: Warrant!
I'll have more later...
G
Guest
Guest
Re: Humorious Quotes
Grissom: I need you to take off your shoes and socks.
Greg: See, now we're getting into this whole strip forensics thing and I'm not so sure I can hang with that even if you are my boss.
OR!
Grissom: "Tell me something I don't know."
Robbins: "When I was ten I quit karate because a kid half my size made me cry."
OR
Greg: "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, swab one down, run it through CODIS, 98 bottles of beer on the wall."
OR
Catherine: "So, what, it's raining man juice?"
Sara: "Hallellujah!"
Marianne
xxxxxxxx
Grissom: I need you to take off your shoes and socks.
Greg: See, now we're getting into this whole strip forensics thing and I'm not so sure I can hang with that even if you are my boss.
OR!
Grissom: "Tell me something I don't know."
Robbins: "When I was ten I quit karate because a kid half my size made me cry."
OR
Greg: "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, swab one down, run it through CODIS, 98 bottles of beer on the wall."
OR
Catherine: "So, what, it's raining man juice?"
Sara: "Hallellujah!"
Marianne
xxxxxxxx
Miss_Undercover
Judge
Re: Humorious Quotes
Greg: Do you mean Grissom pay a Hawaii Trip ?
Nick: Ask it nevertheless !
Greg: Do you mean Grissom pay a Hawaii Trip ?
Nick: Ask it nevertheless !
glam_chic86
Head of the Graveyard Shift
Re: Humorious Quotes
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: [holding a severed finger] Apart from the fact of it not being attached to a person, there's nothing wrong with this finger.
-------
Det. Stella Bonasera: [examining a body] There's something gooey here.
Det. Mac Taylor: Gooey? There's a good forensic word. Gooey. I have to use that more.
------
Det. Don Flack: I could go on, but I've already read "War and Peace".
-----
Jayden Prince: ...But somebody killed my twin, Dawg.
Det. Don Flack: [pointing to himself] Detective.
-----
[Danny and Stella enter a sushi restaurant in which the food is served on nude women]
Det. Stella Bonasera: Oh, that can't be sanitary.
Danny Messer: Who cares if it's sanitary. I want to see the menu.
-----
Det. Don Flack: Deodorizers? The guy smelled like ass.
-----
Det. Don Flack: [after Aidan explained in "Tri-Borough" that waste that was frozen, fell from a plane flying overhead killed their victim] So let me get this straight, a crapsicle killed this guy?
-----
[Danny is reading 'Trendy Magazine'. Stella enters]
Det. Stella Bonasera: If you wanted beauty tips, all you had to do was ask.
Danny Messer: Do you know that waterproof mascara dries out your lashes? That's amazing.
-----
Det. Stella Bonasera: Some days you're the dog. Some days, you're the hydrant.
-----
Aiden Burn: ...Benzosothyazolonal.
Det. Don Flack: Whoa, Benzosothyazolonal?
Aiden Burn: You know what that is?
[pause]
Det. Don Flack: No.
-----
Det. Mac Taylor: [about mosquitoes] Only the female of the species bites.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Good for her!
------
Det. Stella Bonasera: That's it? No butler?
Det. Don Flack: No.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Too bad. I thought we could wrap this one up quick.
Det. Don Flack: What?
Det. Stella Bonasera: Mansion like this, it's always the butler. Didn't you ever play Clue?
Det. Don Flack: I was a Monopoly guy.
-----
Det. Lindsay Monroe: [after searching a pit filled with lubricant for evidence] Funny how a little lube speeds up the processing.
------
Det. Stella Bonasera: [after finding out that a mattress that they know a girl died on has no bloodstains on it] What do you do when you can't get to sleep?
Det. Mac Taylor: Work.
Det. Stella Bonasera: What do *normal* people do when they can't get to sleep?
------
Det. Mac Taylor: Two dead doves, one dead bride... looks like "fowl" play to me.
-----
[Stella has confronted a suspect about a murdered woman]
Jason: I fell in love with her.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Trust me. You're gonna get plenty of love where you're going.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: [holding a severed finger] Apart from the fact of it not being attached to a person, there's nothing wrong with this finger.
-------
Det. Stella Bonasera: [examining a body] There's something gooey here.
Det. Mac Taylor: Gooey? There's a good forensic word. Gooey. I have to use that more.
------
Det. Don Flack: I could go on, but I've already read "War and Peace".
-----
Jayden Prince: ...But somebody killed my twin, Dawg.
Det. Don Flack: [pointing to himself] Detective.
-----
[Danny and Stella enter a sushi restaurant in which the food is served on nude women]
Det. Stella Bonasera: Oh, that can't be sanitary.
Danny Messer: Who cares if it's sanitary. I want to see the menu.
-----
Det. Don Flack: Deodorizers? The guy smelled like ass.
-----
Det. Don Flack: [after Aidan explained in "Tri-Borough" that waste that was frozen, fell from a plane flying overhead killed their victim] So let me get this straight, a crapsicle killed this guy?
-----
[Danny is reading 'Trendy Magazine'. Stella enters]
Det. Stella Bonasera: If you wanted beauty tips, all you had to do was ask.
Danny Messer: Do you know that waterproof mascara dries out your lashes? That's amazing.
-----
Det. Stella Bonasera: Some days you're the dog. Some days, you're the hydrant.
-----
Aiden Burn: ...Benzosothyazolonal.
Det. Don Flack: Whoa, Benzosothyazolonal?
Aiden Burn: You know what that is?
[pause]
Det. Don Flack: No.
-----
Det. Mac Taylor: [about mosquitoes] Only the female of the species bites.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Good for her!
------
Det. Stella Bonasera: That's it? No butler?
Det. Don Flack: No.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Too bad. I thought we could wrap this one up quick.
Det. Don Flack: What?
Det. Stella Bonasera: Mansion like this, it's always the butler. Didn't you ever play Clue?
Det. Don Flack: I was a Monopoly guy.
-----
Det. Lindsay Monroe: [after searching a pit filled with lubricant for evidence] Funny how a little lube speeds up the processing.
------
Det. Stella Bonasera: [after finding out that a mattress that they know a girl died on has no bloodstains on it] What do you do when you can't get to sleep?
Det. Mac Taylor: Work.
Det. Stella Bonasera: What do *normal* people do when they can't get to sleep?
------
Det. Mac Taylor: Two dead doves, one dead bride... looks like "fowl" play to me.
-----
[Stella has confronted a suspect about a murdered woman]
Jason: I fell in love with her.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Trust me. You're gonna get plenty of love where you're going.
Asimplekndofgirl
Rookie
Re: Humorious Quotes
Catherine: The three ingredients to make lava flow. In 5th grade, I built one of these as my science fair project. It was awesome. First place should have been mine. They ended up giving it to this kid with some lame red ant colony.
That was you!
Grissom: Yeah, only mine ants were Black Argentinians.
Catherine: Uh-huh
Grissom: I learned at a very early age that the bugs always win.
Catherine: Right.
------------------
Nick: Hey I made one of those in third grade. Science fair, should have won too.
Grissom: Gotta let it go, Nick.
Catherine: The three ingredients to make lava flow. In 5th grade, I built one of these as my science fair project. It was awesome. First place should have been mine. They ended up giving it to this kid with some lame red ant colony.
That was you!
Grissom: Yeah, only mine ants were Black Argentinians.
Catherine: Uh-huh
Grissom: I learned at a very early age that the bugs always win.
Catherine: Right.
------------------
Nick: Hey I made one of those in third grade. Science fair, should have won too.
Grissom: Gotta let it go, Nick.
gregsandersluver
Lab Technician
Re: Humorious Quotes
my favourite 1 is from season 2:
Nick: let go of my greggo he's a csi wannabe
my favourite 1 is from season 2:
Nick: let go of my greggo he's a csi wannabe
GilandSara
Lab Technician
Re: Humorious Quotes
what episode is that from, gregsandersluver? I have heard that a lot but dunno. And, asimplekindofgirl, I got a stupid question, does that mean it was Griss that she lost to and he just corrected her or he was saying that he beat out a smartie too? Cuz in Bully For You they didn't acknowledge that they went to the same school. Hmmm, must be the inhereted stupidity that causes me to ask that question.
what episode is that from, gregsandersluver? I have heard that a lot but dunno. And, asimplekindofgirl, I got a stupid question, does that mean it was Griss that she lost to and he just corrected her or he was saying that he beat out a smartie too? Cuz in Bully For You they didn't acknowledge that they went to the same school. Hmmm, must be the inhereted stupidity that causes me to ask that question.
9dots4lines
Lab Technician
Re: Humorious Quotes
From Scuba Doobie-Doo:
SARA: You okay?
GRISSOM: Ninety-five.
SARA: Excuse me?
GRISSOM: Normally my pulse is seventy. When it gets to 95, I realize how mad I
am. I-I have ten people working around the clock on this thing.
SARA: You're too hard on yourself.
GRISSOM: No, no. I'm not mad at me. There's a body in there and that guy knows where it is!
SARA: What's your pulse at now?
(GRISSOM sighs and pushes his cap up over his forehead.)
SARA: You want to take a walk around the block? Get some air?
GRISSOM: (sighs) No.
SARA: Clear your head ...
GRISSOM: I'm fine.
SARA: Okay.
(GRISSOM has his eyes closed. SARA reaches out and wipes his cheek. A lingering move that surprises GRISSOM in it's intimacy. He looks at her. She meets his eyes. She shrugs.)
SARA: Chalk ... from plaster.
GRISSOM: Oh.
(GRISSOM wipes his cheek and absently glances at the back of his hand. He looks at SARA. She meets his eyes for a moment then looks away.)
SARA: (gently) Better go wash up.
Gil Grissom: I just got a page from James Watson.
Nick Stokes: And I got one from Francis Crick. What's going on, Greg?
Greg Sanders: Well, as you both know, Watson and Crick are the granddaddies of DNA. Without their discoveries, I'd have nothing to do all day.
Nick Stokes: What have you been doing all day?
Hodges: Since when did you become an insects expert?
Sara Sidle: Entymology textbook. Grissom gave it to me last Christmas. When I can't sleep, I read.
Nick Stokes: [smirking] Funny, I didn't get a Christmas gift from Grissom... [turns to Hodges] did you...?
Hodges: [also smirking] No...
[Sara gives them both a weird look]
From Scuba Doobie-Doo:
SARA: You okay?
GRISSOM: Ninety-five.
SARA: Excuse me?
GRISSOM: Normally my pulse is seventy. When it gets to 95, I realize how mad I
am. I-I have ten people working around the clock on this thing.
SARA: You're too hard on yourself.
GRISSOM: No, no. I'm not mad at me. There's a body in there and that guy knows where it is!
SARA: What's your pulse at now?
(GRISSOM sighs and pushes his cap up over his forehead.)
SARA: You want to take a walk around the block? Get some air?
GRISSOM: (sighs) No.
SARA: Clear your head ...
GRISSOM: I'm fine.
SARA: Okay.
(GRISSOM has his eyes closed. SARA reaches out and wipes his cheek. A lingering move that surprises GRISSOM in it's intimacy. He looks at her. She meets his eyes. She shrugs.)
SARA: Chalk ... from plaster.
GRISSOM: Oh.
(GRISSOM wipes his cheek and absently glances at the back of his hand. He looks at SARA. She meets his eyes for a moment then looks away.)
SARA: (gently) Better go wash up.
Gil Grissom: I just got a page from James Watson.
Nick Stokes: And I got one from Francis Crick. What's going on, Greg?
Greg Sanders: Well, as you both know, Watson and Crick are the granddaddies of DNA. Without their discoveries, I'd have nothing to do all day.
Nick Stokes: What have you been doing all day?
Hodges: Since when did you become an insects expert?
Sara Sidle: Entymology textbook. Grissom gave it to me last Christmas. When I can't sleep, I read.
Nick Stokes: [smirking] Funny, I didn't get a Christmas gift from Grissom... [turns to Hodges] did you...?
Hodges: [also smirking] No...
[Sara gives them both a weird look]
Asimplekndofgirl
Rookie
Re: Humorious Quotes
The quotes on my last post is from Grissom versus the Volcano, he was just saying that he out beat everyone with his bugs. They didn't go to school together. Grissom is from somewhere in Cali and I think Catherine is from Montana or something like that is what I read from the CBS site.
The quotes on my last post is from Grissom versus the Volcano, he was just saying that he out beat everyone with his bugs. They didn't go to school together. Grissom is from somewhere in Cali and I think Catherine is from Montana or something like that is what I read from the CBS site.