Humorous Quotes

Discussion in 'General CSI Discussion' started by Calihan, Jan 15, 2006.

  1. 9dots4lines

    9dots4lines Lab Technician

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    Sara Sidle: Going back to the little girl. I left her in the car outside. The windows are cracked. Hey, give me a little credit, she's at the hospital.

    Greg Sanders: ...so she dies in a pool?
    Hodges: Or a spa. And by the way, that's spelled S-P-A, in any languege.

    Gil Grissom: Repeat after me. Silk, silk, silk.
    Nick Stokes: Silk, silk, silk.
    Gil Grissom: What do cows drink?
    Nick Stokes: Milk.
    Gil Grissom: Cows drink water. They produce milk.

    Hodges: It's a good thing you don't need to pass a spelling test to work the field, "funtain" water?
    Greg Sanders: My people are Norwegian, that's how we spell it. So was the funtain water in her lungs?

    Greg Sanders: Sara, I just want you to know that when we were in the shower together, I didn't see anything.
    Sara Sidle: Really? Gosh, I saw everything...
     
  2. aussieforgood

    aussieforgood Witness

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    This one's hilarious, :lol: I don't know if it's been posted yet so forgive me if it has:

    Brass: Hey Gil, wait. You got something stuck to your shoe. Oh no, It's just Sanders. :D
     
  3. speedlefan1

    speedlefan1 Lab Technician

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    Here are my Favorite Qoutes from all 3 Shows:
    Gil Grissom: To get to the evidence, we may destroy the evidence.
    Catherine Willows: Do you get these haikus out of a book, or do they just come to you?

    Gil Grissom: Hey Doc, tell me something I don't know.
    Dr. Al Robbins: When I was in fourth grade, I dropped karate because some kid half my size made me cry.



    Tim Speedle: I love hotel rooms - body fluids everywhere.

    [describing a victim]
    Horatio Caine: Jeans, T-shirt... K-Mart socks.
    Det. Frank Tripp: Big spender.

    Det. Don Flack: Deodorizers? The guy smelled like ass

    [Danny and Stella enter a sushi restaurant in which the food is served on nude women]
    Det. Stella Bonasera: Oh, that can't be sanitary.
    Danny Messer: Who cares if it's sanitary. I want to see the menu.


    [​IMG]
     
  4. Sanders_Rules

    Sanders_Rules Dead on Arrival

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    I don't know the exact way this scene goes off the top of my head but:

    Greg (limping): what did you do to me?
    Grissom: you've had a reaction
    Greg (taking off socks) yeah i ahd a reaction. im hazmat meat.

    then grissom says something scientific that i cant remember
    Greg: great its probably fatal.
    then grissom explains the fact that its mildew. again cant remember the exact science stuff LOL.

    Greg: you infected me with mildew?

    i just love the way he says it and the look on his face. it cracks me up everytime i see it! :lol: :D

    also love.

    Grissom: greg your hands are shaking
    Greg: no theyre not
    Grissom: is this affecting your work?
    GReg: as a bomb expert maybe

    although thats a very sad scene, still funny with gregs bad jokes. :rolleyes:
     
  5. Catherinesmyidol

    Catherinesmyidol Coroner

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    Grissom: I want my guys back.

    Sara: Leave it alone.
    Grissom: No.
    Sara: [Sighs] What do you want from me?
    Grissom: I want to know why you're so angry.

    Catherine: Wanna go for a drink?
    Sara: Drive.

    Sara: Maybe some people aren't meant to be together.
     
  6. BabaOReilly

    BabaOReilly Head of the Swing Shift Premium Member

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    Except for the last one, maybe, I don't think those others are particularly humorous... :lol:
     
  7. Catherinesmyidol

    Catherinesmyidol Coroner

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    Sorry; My sister and I think they're hysterical but to explain why would take up most of the day, so please accept my apologies!
     
  8. HoratioAndMe

    HoratioAndMe Captain

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    Some of my fav Miami humorous quotes:

    Ryan [after finding out the suspect they are interrogating stands to inherit an island]: That's a whole island, isn't it? Wow. My parents are leaving me their lawnmower.
    ----
    Suspect: I swear. I didn't touch her.
    Calleigh: You don't have to touch somebody to shoot 'em.
    ---
    There was also the episode when they had Jeff Corwin on the show. I'm telling you, the guy should get more acting parts. Hilarious!

    [while examining a crocodile's stomach contents]
    Jeff Corwin: Nothing unusual... some fish... some crab... some... a-a foot.
     
  9. Asimplekndofgirl

    Asimplekndofgirl Rookie

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    Grissom: You showered.
    Catherine: Thanks for noticing Gil, you're very observant.
    Grissom: Yeah well, I can't tell what I am observing here. Who's that look like?
    Catherine: A 5'11'' workaholic
    Grissom: Sorry

    --------------------------
    Sara: DA's looking for you.
    Grissom: About?
    Sara: What you think I read your messages?
    (Grissom looks at message)
    Sara: Top secret and urgent? It's a gift - reading upside-down.

    -------------------------
    Greg: Look I thought that we had a relationship, what are you doing taking Archie out into the field instead of me?
    Nick: Its the right tool for the right job, man. You have to understand the world you're investigating.
    (Greg gives Nick a unsatisfied look)
    Nick: Hey Archie
    Archie: Yeah?
    Nick: Hey what's that Star Trek episode where the guy has that forehead-thingy and the time portal?
    Archie: In classic, TNG, DS9, Voyager, or Enterprise?
    Greg: Point taken.
    Archie: or where you thinking about Farscape?
    Nick: I have no idea what you are talking about.
     
  10. cfar

    cfar Pathologist

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    Greg to Grissom after Grissom gave some fact about risen:

    That makes two people who know that, you and the guy who wrote the book.
     
  11. gregsandersluver

    gregsandersluver Lab Technician

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    here is another 1 i like

    Greg: All work and no play makes greg a dull boy
    grissom: all and play and no works makes greg an unemployed boy
     
  12. Catherinesmyidol

    Catherinesmyidol Coroner

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    I have two more!

    Nick: [Whispering to Sara] Did you shower? Because you still stink!

    Nick: Come on, Sara. He's a really nice guy!
    Sara: No, Nick!
     
  13. SidLer

    SidLer Coroner

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    I don't know if this has been posted, but I like Hodges' smart-alecky quips. ;)

    Grissom: You're the new guy.

    Hodges: Yeah. Uh, David Hodges. Transferred from LAPD. (scoffs)
    They said I had an attitude problem. Said that I thought I was entitled.

    (Grissom turns and leaves the lab.)
     
  14. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Re: Humorious Quotes

    [Aiden tries to pick the pocket of a training dummy without ringing the bell, but she can't]
    Danny Messer: You're such a girl.
    Aiden Burn: [smacking him in the head] Shut up.

    ---------------------------------------------------
    Jayden Prince: ...But somebody killed my twin, Dawg.
    Det. Don Flack: [pointing to himself] Detective.

    :D
     
  15. britney

    britney Pathologist

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    Re: Humorious Quotes

    Catherine: Its raining man juice?
    Sara: Hallelujah?

    i love that one!
     

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