Humorous Quotes
- Thread starter Calihan
- Start date
garinungkadol
Hit and Run
Re: Humorious Quotes
Thanks for the laugh you guys! These are great.
Thanks for the laugh you guys! These are great.
G
Guest
Guest
Re: Humorious Quotes
Gil Grissom: Greg!
Greg Sanders: Yeah.
Gil Grissom: Take off your shoes and socks.
Greg Sanders: See, now we're getting into this whole strip forensics thing and I'm not too sure I can hang with that - even if you are my boss.
Gil Grissom: Greg!
Greg Sanders: Yeah.
Gil Grissom: Take off your shoes and socks.
Greg Sanders: See, now we're getting into this whole strip forensics thing and I'm not too sure I can hang with that - even if you are my boss.
BurnedToast
Coroner
Re: Humorious Quotes
^^ lol
Greg: "Hey, Yo, Cat!"
Catherine: "I'm going to forget you called me that."
^^ lol
Greg: "Hey, Yo, Cat!"
Catherine: "I'm going to forget you called me that."
Re: Humorious Quotes
Warrick Brown: Whatever happened to, "You cross the tape, you go the distance."?
Catherine Willows: I was probably saying that to get you to service my needs at the time.
--
Nick Stokes: You need to get a girlfriend.
David Phillips: I'm engaged, but thank you.
--
Gil Grissom: Nick, give me that apple
Nick Stokes: [looks at the apple he's been eating] But I didn't get any lunch...
Gil Grissom: You're not supposed to be eating in here so give it.
Warrick Brown: Whatever happened to, "You cross the tape, you go the distance."?
Catherine Willows: I was probably saying that to get you to service my needs at the time.
--
Nick Stokes: You need to get a girlfriend.
David Phillips: I'm engaged, but thank you.
--
Gil Grissom: Nick, give me that apple
Nick Stokes: [looks at the apple he's been eating] But I didn't get any lunch...
Gil Grissom: You're not supposed to be eating in here so give it.
Asimplekndofgirl
Rookie
Re: Humorious Quotes
Catherine: Its raining man juice?
Sara: Hallelujah?
---
Grissom: How did it go at the college?
Sara: They're not cooperating.
Warrick: Yeah, we didn't have a warrant so she kicked us out.
Grissom: What did you do?
Sara: What did we do? We met with the president, asked a few questions.
Warrick: She was kind of hostile.
Sara: Like its our fault we can hear.
Catherine: Its raining man juice?
Sara: Hallelujah?
---
Grissom: How did it go at the college?
Sara: They're not cooperating.
Warrick: Yeah, we didn't have a warrant so she kicked us out.
Grissom: What did you do?
Sara: What did we do? We met with the president, asked a few questions.
Warrick: She was kind of hostile.
Sara: Like its our fault we can hear.
Pusher
Coroner
Re: Humorious Quotes
Horatio Caine: Gentlemen, may I?
Lawyer: Be kind, Horatio.
Horatio Caine: As always. All right, now, Pedro, the gun we found in your room has tied you to two murders.
Lawyer: But possession doesn't make my client the killer.
Horatio Caine: We also have your skin cells on the tourniquet you used.
Lawyer: ALLEGEDLY used.
Horatio Caine: Allegedly used.
[turns to the Lawyer]
Horatio Caine: Now, are you going to rebut everything I'm saying?
Lawyer: Yes.
Horatio Caine: Excellent.
------------------------------------------------------------
this quote is in SCI Miami episode Money Plane - H and R talking to the Victims mother and there is a fashion show going on in the yard.
Horatio: Where is her Partner?
Mother: In the office on the other side of the yard.
Horatio: Through the bikinis perfect
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: Why didn't you tell us this earlier?
Suspect: I didn't think it'd look too good.
Horatio Caine: Well, it doesn't look too good right now.
------------------------------------------------------------
Don: Look, Horatio, we're on the same side.
Horatio Caine: I'd like to think so.
Don: Yeah. Well, we are in the middle of the trial. We've already picked the jury, we called our experts, we spent over a million dollars in taxpayers money...
Horatio Caine: We have new evidence.
Don: Yeah. Well, that's what appeals are all about. Listen, this is not about the case anymore. Now, it's about winning.
Horatio Caine: Well, you know what then? We're not on the same side.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: The killer just made his second mistake.
Yelena Salas: What was his first?
Horatio Caine: Murder.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: Why didn't you tell us this earlier?
Suspect: I didn't think it'd look too good.
Horatio Caine: Well, it doesn't look too good right now.
------------------------------------------------------------
H talks to a doctor, who's a suspect
Horatio Caine: Keith.
Dr. Keith Winters: That's "Doctor", Lieutenant.
Horatio Caine: Maybe not for long.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: You're saying she married for love?
Calleigh Duquesne: I know. Wonders never cease.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: Nice work. Did you consider a transfer to S.W.A.T.?
Calleigh Duquesne: I don't look good in all black.
Horatio Caine: I beg to differ.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: As you know, Florida has the death penalty.
Mac Taylor: So does New York.
Horatio Caine: Yes, but you have not executed... since '76.
Mac Taylor: Politics.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio examines a golf T-shirt
Horatio Caine: You on to your next victim, Stewart?
Stewart Otis: That's not mine.
Horatio Caine: Really? Whose is it, mine?
Horatio Caine: Gentlemen, may I?
Lawyer: Be kind, Horatio.
Horatio Caine: As always. All right, now, Pedro, the gun we found in your room has tied you to two murders.
Lawyer: But possession doesn't make my client the killer.
Horatio Caine: We also have your skin cells on the tourniquet you used.
Lawyer: ALLEGEDLY used.
Horatio Caine: Allegedly used.
[turns to the Lawyer]
Horatio Caine: Now, are you going to rebut everything I'm saying?
Lawyer: Yes.
Horatio Caine: Excellent.
------------------------------------------------------------
this quote is in SCI Miami episode Money Plane - H and R talking to the Victims mother and there is a fashion show going on in the yard.
Horatio: Where is her Partner?
Mother: In the office on the other side of the yard.
Horatio: Through the bikinis perfect
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: Why didn't you tell us this earlier?
Suspect: I didn't think it'd look too good.
Horatio Caine: Well, it doesn't look too good right now.
------------------------------------------------------------
Don: Look, Horatio, we're on the same side.
Horatio Caine: I'd like to think so.
Don: Yeah. Well, we are in the middle of the trial. We've already picked the jury, we called our experts, we spent over a million dollars in taxpayers money...
Horatio Caine: We have new evidence.
Don: Yeah. Well, that's what appeals are all about. Listen, this is not about the case anymore. Now, it's about winning.
Horatio Caine: Well, you know what then? We're not on the same side.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: The killer just made his second mistake.
Yelena Salas: What was his first?
Horatio Caine: Murder.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: Why didn't you tell us this earlier?
Suspect: I didn't think it'd look too good.
Horatio Caine: Well, it doesn't look too good right now.
------------------------------------------------------------
H talks to a doctor, who's a suspect
Horatio Caine: Keith.
Dr. Keith Winters: That's "Doctor", Lieutenant.
Horatio Caine: Maybe not for long.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: You're saying she married for love?
Calleigh Duquesne: I know. Wonders never cease.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: Nice work. Did you consider a transfer to S.W.A.T.?
Calleigh Duquesne: I don't look good in all black.
Horatio Caine: I beg to differ.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio Caine: As you know, Florida has the death penalty.
Mac Taylor: So does New York.
Horatio Caine: Yes, but you have not executed... since '76.
Mac Taylor: Politics.
------------------------------------------------------------
Horatio examines a golf T-shirt
Horatio Caine: You on to your next victim, Stewart?
Stewart Otis: That's not mine.
Horatio Caine: Really? Whose is it, mine?
Shady Lane
CSI Level Two
Re: Humorious Quotes
Sara: So that's why Grissom's late
Warrick: You just don't like other women in his life.
Sara: I'm going to pretend I didn't here that.
____________________________________________________
I don't remember the exact quotes but in "Down the Drain" when Grissom is making greg fill up that bucket with urine and he says something like "this is some sort of forensic hazing" lol!
Sara: So that's why Grissom's late
Warrick: You just don't like other women in his life.
Sara: I'm going to pretend I didn't here that.
____________________________________________________
I don't remember the exact quotes but in "Down the Drain" when Grissom is making greg fill up that bucket with urine and he says something like "this is some sort of forensic hazing" lol!
BurnedToast
Coroner
Re: Humorious Quotes
Thomas Pickens: "You can't make me take a drug test."
Catherine: "Oh, before you came to Nevada you should have looked up the law. Mandatory drug testing wherever there's been an accident. Pee now, and don't tell me you're shy."
Sara: "Mandatory drug testing?"
Catherine: "Yeah, well, there should be."
Thomas Pickens: "You can't make me take a drug test."
Catherine: "Oh, before you came to Nevada you should have looked up the law. Mandatory drug testing wherever there's been an accident. Pee now, and don't tell me you're shy."
Sara: "Mandatory drug testing?"
Catherine: "Yeah, well, there should be."
Tinkerbell
Head of the Swing Shift
Re: Humorious Quotes
Door guy: Password?
Catherine: e-yi-e-yi-oh
Grissom: Well, unless I get these evaluations in, I'll be written up.
Catherine: Write this down: I haven't had sex in six - no, seven months.
Grissom: How can I help?
Brass: Hey buddy, you OK?
Suspect: (falls of his chair)
Brass: Guess not
Brass: I hate having lunch with you CSIs, you notice everything.
Grissom: May we come in?
Lady H: Say the magic word.
Brass: Warrant.
Brass: What do we do... put out an A.P.B. on Tom and Jerry?
Brass: I still can't believe you messed up the crime scene.
Grissom: Her body fell out when I opened the door. It happens. We move on.
Brass: Uh-huh. It's gonna bother you all day.
Door guy: Password?
Catherine: e-yi-e-yi-oh
Grissom: Well, unless I get these evaluations in, I'll be written up.
Catherine: Write this down: I haven't had sex in six - no, seven months.
Grissom: How can I help?
Brass: Hey buddy, you OK?
Suspect: (falls of his chair)
Brass: Guess not
Brass: I hate having lunch with you CSIs, you notice everything.
Grissom: May we come in?
Lady H: Say the magic word.
Brass: Warrant.
Brass: What do we do... put out an A.P.B. on Tom and Jerry?
Brass: I still can't believe you messed up the crime scene.
Grissom: Her body fell out when I opened the door. It happens. We move on.
Brass: Uh-huh. It's gonna bother you all day.
quoth_the_raven
Corpse
Re: Humorious Quotes
Oh!
Greg: What're you doing?
Grissom: Good, you're here. Fill this up for me. *throws Greg the cup*
Greg: With what?
Grissom: It's a urine specimen cup, Greg. What do you think?
Greg: ...Okay.
*later*
Greg: *returns*
Grissom: That took a long time. You may need a prostate exam.
Greg: My prostate is just fine. I'm not a soda fountain.
Grissom: Hopefully you are, 'cause I need a number two as quickly as possible.
Greg: What is this all about?
Grissom: The victim's body was found in a sewer. Ambient temperature 80 degrees. The corrosive chemicals caused the body to decompose faster than normal. I want to find out how much faster. Today.
Greg: This is some kind of CSI hazing. Make me appreciate blood and semen more.
---------------
Catherine: Let me guess- he lawyered up.
Brass: Yeah, he stopped talking after he heard we blew his house up.
Oh!
Greg: What're you doing?
Grissom: Good, you're here. Fill this up for me. *throws Greg the cup*
Greg: With what?
Grissom: It's a urine specimen cup, Greg. What do you think?
Greg: ...Okay.
*later*
Greg: *returns*
Grissom: That took a long time. You may need a prostate exam.
Greg: My prostate is just fine. I'm not a soda fountain.
Grissom: Hopefully you are, 'cause I need a number two as quickly as possible.
Greg: What is this all about?
Grissom: The victim's body was found in a sewer. Ambient temperature 80 degrees. The corrosive chemicals caused the body to decompose faster than normal. I want to find out how much faster. Today.
Greg: This is some kind of CSI hazing. Make me appreciate blood and semen more.
---------------
Catherine: Let me guess- he lawyered up.
Brass: Yeah, he stopped talking after he heard we blew his house up.
allmaple
Judge
Re: Humorious Quotes
nick: “That's probably from excessive masturbation. Guy's been outpacing his...... ability to produce ...... sperm ...
warrick: “Yeah, you'd know it, Spanky.”
nick: “It's just a hunch.”
greg: “Hey, that can happen to any guy.”
i think i almost died the first time i heard that!
nick: “That's probably from excessive masturbation. Guy's been outpacing his...... ability to produce ...... sperm ...
warrick: “Yeah, you'd know it, Spanky.”
nick: “It's just a hunch.”
greg: “Hey, that can happen to any guy.”
i think i almost died the first time i heard that!
G
Guest
Guest
Re: Humorious Quotes
hahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahaha
Re: Humorious Quotes
30k O.B.O
30k O.B.O