Here is a fic I wrote last year , but never posted it . After I watched Fannysmackin , I dreamed that Greg was dead when Sara came ... and this is something that happens later , where she tells her feelings for Greg ... please read it and tell me your honest opinion !
I think this is my first fanfic .
Lifeless
She was looking at his white bloody face . His eyes were still opened , but there was no spark . No smile on his lips . Nothing . There was only blood , on his chest ., on his shirt . On hers as well . The life drained from his body .
She was still kneeling in front of him , holding firmly his hand in her own . It was the last time she could do that . He loved her , and she loved him too .But she didn’t tell him . He died for her and still she didn’t tell him what she really felt . And now he’ll never know . He died without hearing those two words that would have made him happy at least at the end of his life . She turned her head from the horrible view in front of her . She couldn’t stand it anymore , those dark brown eyes that were telling her over and over she was guilty . She looked at his eyes a last time . She just put her hand on his face and slowly closed his eyes .
And that was it ; everything was gone , her happiness , her whole life had been ruined . Because she was too coward to tell him those words … he told her at least a million times about the love in his heart , and she was too coward to tell him those words once … once before she’d lose him .
He gave his life to protect her , he had the possibility to save himself and he didn’t . And she knew he’d do it again . And not because he loved her , he’d do it because he was … he is a hero .
And she was just standing there , near him and finally had the guts to whisper to him the words , but it was too late … the angel of death already came to take his soul , to take him away from her . She hated that ; she hated she couldn’t look at him anymore , she hated he wasn’t with her anymore … she felt like passing out .
She regained her strength . She lifted her weight on her feet . She brought her hands to her face and started crying . She felt guilty , because she just should have pushed him aside . But she didn’t , he just watched him giving up on his life just to give her the chance to live .
His heart stopped beating , but his words “I love you” were still echoing in her troubled mind . She was tired . Tired of life . She looked at the gun that was at her feet … maybe she should just put that to her head and pull the trigger . It would not hurt anymore . She just stared at the weapon … no , she threw it away … this is not the solution … her suicide would make his sacrifice worth nothing .
There , in front of him , in front of his dead body , she let her tears fall on the ground , on his face . She closed her eyes to think . To think about how life would have been if he would have been alive and there , with her … if that dead body wouldn’t have been his .
His last words were for her … he did everything for her and she didn’t do anything for him . She kneeled near him again and reached to touch his hair with her hand … his hair , his crazy hair … she rubbed his forehead , his eyes , his lips … she felt the vibration , the echo of his words … like his lips knew she was the one touching them . She rubbed slightly his cheek , cleaning the blood that was staining it . She then violently took his head in her hands , yelling :”Why was I so dumb ? Why was I so coward , tell me ! Why didn’t I tell you I love you ? Why ? Why do I am so cursed ?” . But he didn’t gave her answers . He couldn’t , but the expression on his face , he looked like he was sleeping , his eyes closed peacefully , just penetrated her mind , like a needle .
The clouds were gathering on the sky ; suddenly it became black and the warm summer rain started falling … every drop that was touching her made her body shiver . But she didn’t care . She was holding the only person she ever truly loved tightly in her arms and she never wanted to let him go . She didn’t want to risk loosing him again . The water was washing him , it was like even the rain wanted to help her , to comfort her .
Soon the police was going to come there , their colleagues ; and they were going to see them . They were just going to tell that he died in the line of duty and he’ll be another forgotten person , like many other dead people . They’ll make an autopsy on his body … no , she won’t let them . They were allowed to touch him . Only she could , only she .
She lowered her head and touched his lips wet with blood and rain with hers . It was their first and last kiss . A kiss he’ll never know about .
The sirens of the police car were approaching … they will ask her questions . How did he die ? He was shot in the chest … saving her . The bullet probably punctured his lung , because he coughed up blood before he died .
The guys were going to miss him … Warrick , Nick … maybe even Grissom . But they will never feel what she felt . They will never knew how much he suffered before he died . This was a secret , no one had to know , only her .
She’ll have to live all her life knowing that he died because of her … he died in her arms , telling her he loved her , waiting for the answer he never received ….
When they will come there they will find two bodies , his and his killer’s … but there were three deaths … because he took her soul with him in the second he took the last breath .
Now she wasn’t Sara anymore , she was just an ordinary woman . Sara was up there ,m in heaven , with the person she truly loved . Only the conscience was in that body , only the memories of a lost love , the one and only love of her life ….Greg Sanders who was now lying lifeless at her feet .
…
Desperate and waiting, frozen to the core
Numb to this feeling, needing something more
All I keep thinking is where I need to be
All I can hope for is someone to take me away
Before you go you promise me something,
I need to know, will you leave me lifeless?
Leaving me lifeless
Will I bow down to this life that I live?
Will I find freedom or lose it all again?
All I keep thinking is where I need to be
All I can hope for is someone to take me away
Before you go you promise me something,
I need to know, will you leave me lifeless?
Time moves so slow, I'm waiting for something,
Waiting for something again
Will I fall away from you,
Feelings that I never knew
And I hope that I never fall away
Will I fall away from you,
Feelings that I never knew
And I hope that I never fall away
Before you go you promise me something,
I need to know, will you leave me lifeless?
Time moves so slow, I'm waiting for something,
Waiting for something
Leave me lifeless
Leave me lifeless
Leave me lifeless
….
i will do it someday....
