Quotes you WON'T hear - Pt 2

Setting: The team is sitting in the break room and Ecklie walks in. Conspiratorial winks are shared and everyone stands up.

GRISSOM: *clears his throat* “Two four six eight. Who do we appreciate?”

EVERYONE: *joins in* “Conrad Conrad … rah rah rah.”

ECKLIE: *listens and looks surprised and then pleased that people like him*

EVERYONE: *continues* “Flush him down the toilet … Ha ha ha.”

ECKLIE: *His pleased expression falls and is replaced by a look of horror.*

EVERYONE: *more cheery voices* “Up the sewer, down the sewer. Right into some cow manure.”

ECKLIE: *sputters and then runs from the room*

EVERYONE: *smiles are present at a job well done.*

SARA: *sighs* “Too bad it wasn’t a pile of decomp.”

(( I thought of this at work today because that cheer got stuck in my head. I ended up scaring my co-workers ))
 
(This one is for you Monty Python fans!)

Grissom: (singing) Oh, I'm a CSI and I'm okay. I work all night and I sleep all day!

Brass, Catherine, Greg, Nick, Doc Robbins, and Sara: (Singing) Yes, he's a CSI and he's okay! He works all night and he sleeps all day!

Grissom: (singing) I process scenes, I collect trace, I like to raise wild bugs! I like to check out Ca-therine's ass, or as Sam Braun says "Muggs"!

(Catherine looks shocked and annoyed and stomps off.)

Brass, Greg, Nick, Doc Robbins, and Sara: (Singing) Yes, he's a CSI and he's okay! He works all night and he sleeps all day!

Grissom: (singing) I run prints, I simulate, I order Greg around! I put up with Ecklie's crap and visit whores in town!

(Greg looks annoyed now, and Sara suddenly looks itchy and uncomfortable. They both stomp off.)

Brass, Nick, and Doc Robbins: (Singing) Yes, he's a CSI and he's okay! He works all night and he sleeps all day!

Grissom: (singing) I watch TV, I eat my lunch, I check out decaying meat! While Doctor Robbins does autopsies, I massage his wife's bare feet!

(Doc Robbins now looks pissed off and he stomps off with his cane)

Brass and Nick: (Singing) Yes, he's a CSI and he's okay! He works all night and he sleeps all day!

Grissom: (singing) I go to court! I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra! I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my deaf old Ma!

Brass & Nick: WHAT?!?!? Awright! That's enough, you frigging fairy! WE QUIT!!!!

(They stomp off.)

Grissom: But guys! WAIT!!!! :devil:
 
lol...

*Gil comes in singing and twirling* "The hills are alive...with the sound of music...."
Greg: Uh, Griss...I'll do the jamming around here. Me and Doc Robbins. That was...too scary.
 
LOL good one Hankster, I love that song.

I don't know if anyone came up with anything like this already, but here goes nothing....

Grissom: How did that get in his pants?
Nick: You know...when I went to college we used to...nevermind
*awkward pause*
Grissom: Your mom went to college! *runs away*

^ Napoleon Dynamite...couldn't resist.
 
The team is sitting in the break room. Grissom walks in. Greg sniffs the air and exclaims, "Boss, you smell like Sara!"

(I know, it's a bit lame but it's been eating a hole in my brain since I thought of it.)
 
Suspect: *points gun at Nick*
Nick: Sorry to have to tell you this, but this isn't the first time someone points a gun at me...
Suspect: *thinks* Ooh, can I stalk you and wear your clothes and move into your attic, then?
Nick: *bored sigh* Been there, done that.
Suspect: ...been buried alive?
Nick: *nods*
Suspect: *thinks for a minute* Okay, I'll.. I'll beat HIM up, then! *points to Greg*
Greg: *eyeroll*
Suspect: *turns to Brass*
Brass: Don't even think about it.


----
Okay, not very original but hey, this is my first, okay?

----
edit: thought of another one

[Grissom enters lab where Greg is superglue-ing something]
Grissom: Any progress?
Greg: ...Oh, my God, you're beautiful! *stares*
Grissom: *raises eyebrow*
Greg: Are you God?
Grissom: *takes superglue from Greg* That's for fingerprints, not for sniffing, Greg.
Greg: *continues to stare*
Grissom: *leaves lab, shaking his head*
Greg: *looks around* Lights so pretty...
 
Not sure if anyone's ever posted something like this, but I think this would be funny.

Grissom: Greg, can I talk to you for a minute?
Greg: Sure Boss, what's up?
Grissom: You may want to sit down, Greg.
Greg: *Sits Down*
Grissom: Greg, I am your father.
 
(Hodges walks into the break room. He sees Sara reading a magazine. Special effects shift to a Hodges'-eye view. Doing a Terminator style scan, he zooms in on Sara's neck and sees a hickey. Computer graphics draw an outline of the hickey. He then shifts his gaze over to Grissom, who's just taken a bite out of an apple and the image freezes. The outline of the hickey is then moved over to the apple bite and overlayed. The words "MATCH FOUND!" flash several times and beeping is heard.)

Hodges: HA HA HA!!! YOU GUYS ARE DOING IT!!! WHOO HOO!!! WAIT'LL I TELL ECKLIE!!!!

(Grissom gets in between Hodges and the door and then closes it.)

Grissom: (Evil voice) You're not going to tell anyone anything... ever... again...

(Grissom and Sara approach Hodges menacingly)

(Scene cuts to outside the closed break room)

Hodges: (Voice only) NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
 
^ROFL
And no-one will EVER find the body... :devil:

Grissom: "Right, from now on we're doing things properly. I want to see everyone fully geared in gloves, disposable suits and hairnets at every crime scene. And Cath - For God's sake, we have to deal with psychos and madmen every day, PUT THEM AWAY!!!"

(apologies if this has been done, I wanted to play and it was the best I could do)
 
Greg: Griss, I brought you some lunch.
Grissom: (suspiciously) What's your agenda, Greg.
Greg: Griss, I'm a boy....I thought you knew.

stole that from the get fuzzy comic....bucky's so cute...
 
drummergurll said:
Greg: Griss, I brought you some lunch.
Grissom: (suspiciously) What's your agenda, Greg.
Greg: Griss, I'm a boy....I thought you knew.

stole that from the get fuzzy comic....bucky's so cute...
Click to expand...

:lol: :lol: It took be a bit, but i get it. Very funny!
 
Nick is in the breakroom dancing to the Scissor Sisters "I don't feel like dancing!"

Nuff said ;)

and I don't know what i mean by the wink :lol:
 
I saw something like this on a commercial. It sounded better than it reads.

(Ecklie lecturing the entire Graveyard shift on their crime solve rate. Nick and Warrick are dozing off, Greg listening to his iPod, Catherine barely paying attention, Sara staring at Grissom as he gets this playful smirk on his face.)
Sara(whispering): What are you doing?
Grissom(while reaching into his pocket): You'll see... ;)
(Grissom pulls out a laser pointer and shines it on Ecklie's bald spot while he has his back turned to them)
Sara(suppressing a laugh):That's not right yet... not wrong at all!(She pulls out her own laser pointer and joins Grissom. Catherine sees this and nudges Nick and Warrick awake. All 3 start to laugh as they too pull out their own laser pointers and shine it on Ecklie's bald spot.)
All but Ecklie:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! :lol:
Ecklie(turning around): Exagtly what is so funny about a hit-and-run? :confused:
All laser beams point to Ecklie's... lower region ;) as everyone but Ecklie starts to roll over with laughter.
(While passing by)Hodges: Well, at least now you can say you've got something down there, Conrad.

I know it sounds bad. Forgive me!! I'm new at this!!
 
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