Quotes you WON'T hear - Pt 2

The CSI's decided to go their regular breakfast hangout and to check on Sofia who was fired after all for shooting the cop and has now taken up waitressing.

Grissom: You sit here, dear.
Catherine: All right.
Grissom: Morning!
Sofia: Morning!
Grissom: Well, what've you got?
Sofia: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Nick, Greg, Warrick, Brass: Spam spam spam spam...
Sofia (frusterated): ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Nick, Greg, Warrick and Brass: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Sofia: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Catherine: Have you got anything without spam?
Sofia: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Catherine: I don't want ANY spam!
Warrick: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Catherine: THAT'S got spam in it!
Warrick: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Nick,Grissom, Greg and Brass: Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Catherine: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Sofia: Urgghh!
Catherine: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Grissom, Warrick, Nick, Greg and Brass: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Sofia: Shut up!
Grissom, Brass, Nick, Greg and Warrick: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Sofia: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody CSIs! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Catherine: I don't like spam!
Nick: Sshh, darling, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Warrick, Greg, Grissom and Brass: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Sofia: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Nick: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Sofia: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the CSIs drown her words)
CSIs: (Singing elaborately...) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

Yes for anyone who is familiar, this was lovingly ripped off from the Spam Skit from the Monty Pythons.
 
omg!!! That was freaking hilarious!!!!!!
I'm trying to think of one....hmmmm...
Okay, I'm stumpt, so, maybe i'll have one someday.
 
I hope you guys don't mind a newbie in here.
I have to credit my sister Christy for this one:

Sara: I don't have any friends. :(
Grissom: *grins* I know what will cheer you up!
Sara: Not today Grissom, I'm not in the mood for that.
Grissom: I think you are...*puts on banana costume, grabs maracas, and begins to dance* It's peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time! Where ya at? Where ya at? There ya go. There ya go. Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!

If you haven't seen the peanut butter jelly video, you might not understand that, but it's about a dancing banana.
They also did a spoof like that in an episode of Family Guy.
 
*Grissom is in a kilt with a sword*
"I am Gilbert Grissom of the clan Grissom. There can be only one" *Grissom runs after Ecklie, who runs screaming* "Hey, come back here so I can take your quickening!"
Warrick: Bout time...although I don't know that I'd want that kind of energy...

(I now have to say "how many of you actually know where this is from?" because I doubt too many of you will really get the Highlander reference. It's still funny though.)
 
Mel23 I got the Highlander reference :D
That is funny
I can see Grissom saying "There can be only one"
and trying to cut off Ecklie's head
:lol:
 
lol....and then send him right over to the Doc *giggles* Although I don't know about the kilt, he's hot but that might be a little too much. *isn't going to the dirty places she could with that topic*
 
I have another one, it's really lame though

Sara: *eats candy bar*
Grissom: *walks in* Can I help you enjoy that Snickers?...Happy peanut soul, over chocolate covered mountain tops...
Warrick: and waterfalls of caramelll...
Nick: Prancing nuggat in the meadow sings a song of satisfaction to the world!
Greg: *walks by* *whispers* To the world!
Sara: Actually it's a milky way....

Sorry, that was lame, I couldn't come up with anything better. Has anybody ever seen that commercial?
 
AngelWearinJeans said:
I have another one, it's really lame though

Sara: *eats candy bar*
Grissom: *walks in* Can I help you enjoy that Snickers?...Happy peanut soul, over chocolate covered mountain tops...
Warrick: and waterfalls of caramelll...
Nick: Prancing nuggat in the meadow sings a song of satisfaction to the world!
Greg: *walks by* *whispers* To the world!
Sara: Actually it's a milky way....

Sorry, that was lame, I couldn't come up with anything better. Has anybody ever seen that commercial?
Click to expand...

I looooove that commmercial! That was great!
 
AngelWaerinJeans, that was awesome!!! I had to get up and run into the laundry room to stop laughing!! I've seen both of the commercials. Anyways, here's my lame one (kind of a spoiler for my ff):

Greg: Hey, Gris, did I ever tell you that I had a sister?
Grissom: Is this going to be a short story or a novel?
Greg: A little bit of both: it's a haiku!! *clears throat*
Grissom: Just tell me her name, Greg!!
Greg: Her name's Kaira... she's 18 years old... and she is not here.
Grissom: Then why are you telling me about her?
Greg: BECAUSE I NEVER GET ENOUGH SCREENTIME!!! *stalks off, almost runs into Nick*
Nick: Whoa, what crawled up his butt and died?
Grissom: My racing cockroaches.
 
lmfao i LOVE the commercial for snickers!! lmfao *whispers* to the world. lmao!!! and the peaunut butter jelly one lmfao, i know EXACTLY what youre talking about!!

okay got some. if anyone watched Friends, and heard Phoebe's Christmas song, then you'll understand.

Grissom: *begins strumming a guitar while the rest sit around him* Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap, asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap, he said all you need to is to write them a song, now you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along... no don't sing along!!!!

[dramatically looks at Catherine]

"catherine, catherine! I want to do you in my saturn! forget about Warrick, he's actually doing nick!"

[looks towards Greg]

"And please tell Greggo, I've stolen all his LEGGOOOOo!!"

[looks to Sara and Brass]

"Sara and JIm Brass! You can kiss my a-ass!"

Merry Christmas everyone!

*everyone: Holy crap.


Brass: Looks like this party turned deadly. *glances at Grissom]
Grissom: ....
Brass: Griss?
Grissom: I think I've used all of my witty last lines before the commercials.
Brass: *Gasps*


hehe.. they're lame, I know :) wee!
 
^those were great Dee, nice job!

I can't resist the temptation to use a Dane Cook joke:

Grissom comes in like 3 hours late for work because he accidentally slept in.

Catherine: Were were you!
Grissom: Uhhh...didn't you hear...about the circus animals? They got loose and took hostages. I was one of the hostages! The gazelles were dancing on my chest!
*5 minutes later*
Ecklie: You're in trouble Grissom, where have you been?
Grissom: Well...*laughs nervously* I was driving here and my muffler was...dragging...and a spark set a woman's sundress on fire! I had to use my body as a human blanket and....*trails off*
Ecklie: OMG! Was she okay?
Grissom: *walks away* What an idiot! I can't believe he fell for that.
 
*falls over dieing of laughter* Angel that was perfect!! LMAO Dane Cook is SO good... bahahahaa Oh man :) :)
 
Brass: Looks like this party turned deadly. *glances at Grissom]
Grissom: ....
Brass: Griss?
Grissom: I think I've used all of my witty last lines before the commercials.
Brass: *Gasps*
Click to expand...
Dee, I'm seriously waiting for that to happen... lol
 
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