Quotes you WON'T hear - Pt 2

*Grissom staring at a corpse with a giant mechete through his head*
Grissom talking to the body:GOD! How did you DIE?!
 
Sara: Baseball. Well, that figures. All those stats.
Grissom: It's a beautiful game.
Sara: Since when are you interested in beauty?
Grissom: Since I met Ecklie.
Sara: :eek:
 
Griss: Do you know how he died?
Robbins: Nope, and I don't even have any theory.
Griss: Neither do I.
Robbins: What are you gonna do?
Griss: Uhm... Hide it in Catherine's locker?
Robbins: Good idea.
 
Greg: Hey Hodges? Can't I have your honest opinion on something?

Hodges: Of course Sanders.

Greg: Do these pants make my butt look big?
 
Sara: Is that what it looks like?
Cath: I don't know, the uniform makes it hard to tell...
Nick: Yep, there's the backside....'Brass'..Hey, Gris, come look at this! Brass on skates! Hey, captain, we're all shocked...you never mentioned during that hockey case that you played
*Brass skates over* Some of us do have lives outside policework. Come on, you know you want to see me get in a fight out there. I can defiantely take half of those other guys
Grissom: Yeah, just...watch the skate blades, will you? And don't take any quinine.

(this from a combo of Primum Non Nocere and the discovery of Paul's own skating skills)
 
darx2mint4 said:
Haha lilbug, thats like that Mad TV spoof of CSI :D
Click to expand...

i kinda got the idea from that! i love the spoof. the best part is with Catherine and Grissom and the microscope! lmao

Catherine:Today, I think I'm going to wear a shirt that's not very revealing!

Grissom:Today, I'm not going to have any dumb yet witty one liners!

Sara:Today, I'm not going to scowl once!

Nick:Today I'm going to decide on one definite haircut!

Greg:Today I'm not going to refer to Nana or Papa Olaf!

Warrick:Today, I'm going to finally get together with Catherine!

Ecklie:Today I'm going to get some Hair Rogaine and then grow a fro!
 
*lindsey has just freaked out on cath in front of grissom then walks away*
griss: so young, so angry. darn that rap music....
 
Next time on CSI...Sara and Greg have been dispatched by Interpol to track down an international serial killer known as the Slasher who's currently at large in Europe. This sends our intrepid heroes on a cross-continental trip just one step behind of the elusive murderer. Can Sara and Greg catch the Slasher...before they kill each other?

(At the airport...)

Greg: Can I drive?

Sara: No.

Greg: Can I drive?

Sara: No.

Greg: Can I drive?

Sara: No.

Greg: Can I drive?

Sara: No.

Greg: Can I drive?

Sara: Sure.

Greg: Really? Can I?

Sara: Sure. When the Smiths reunite.

Greg: Dammit!

...

(In Portugal, driving down the highway. Greg's flipping through a thick paperback...)

Greg: Posso dirigir?

Sara: What?

Greg: It means "Can I drive" in Portugese.

Sara: (cringing) Oh...God...

Greg: C'mon, Sara. A little culture's not gonna kill ya. Posso dirigir?

Sara: Grrrr...Não.

Greg: Very Good! Posso dirigir?

Sara: Não.

Greg: Posso dirigir?

Sara: Não.

Greg: Posso dirigir?

Sara: Não.

Greg: Posso dirigir?

Sara: Não!

Greg: Posso dirigir?

Sara: *BLEEEEEP!*

Greg: Hey look, we're in Spain now. ¿Puedo conducir?

Sara: Christ on crutches...No!

Greg: ¿Puedo conducir?

Sara: No.

Greg: ¿Puedo conducir?

Sara: No.

Greg: ¿Puedo conducir?

Sara: No!

Greg: ¿Puedo conducir?

Sara: NO!!!!

Greg: ¿Puedo conducir? ¿Puedo conducir? ¿Puedo conducir? ¿Puedo conducir...?

Sara: (death grip on wheel) One of these days...

Greg: ¿Puedo conducir? ¿Puedo conducir? ¿Puedo conducir? ¿Puedo conducir...?

Sara: One of these days, I am going to CUT you into little PIECES!

Greg: ¿Puedo conducir? ¿Puedo conducir? ¿Puedo conducir? ¿Puedo conducir...? (ad nauseum...)

...

To be continued...
 
Reminder this is an english speaking board please keep that in mind. Thank you. ;)
 
wow. this is hilarious. i undersood it cuz i took spanish I last year... it's fun to say things in foreign languages so whoever you're talking about doesn't understand a word of it... i do that a lot
 
Brass: What do you think, Gil?
Grissom: ...Nothing. I dont have anything to add right now.
 
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