You know you're (insert nationality here) when...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Roka4csi, Oct 5, 2006.

  1. BlueCurl

    BlueCurl Pathologist

    Jan 29, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Here in the Netherlands Orange means stop. Only if you can't stop in time you can cross orange. But it gets interpreted as a extra push on the gas anyway.
  2. Ducky

    Ducky Master of the Moos Moderator

    Jan 15, 2004
    Likes Received:
    I know :lol: We are so cold, no emotions and just want to keep our private space :p

    I worked two weeks with Italians and it was strange :lol: Their way to communicate, their way to speak (we have same dull tone all the time, watch some of Aki Kaurismäki movies) if felt that everytime they started to talk each other, it was an emeergency or something had happened :lol: that's how it felt.

    ...Ummm... I think I'll never visit you Roka :p
    I've experienced some harrassment from Turkish :p
  3. crazy_steph

    crazy_steph Police Officer

    Mar 19, 2006
    Likes Received:
    Yes, but I really do say it, when he pointed it out I had tears streaming down my face for hours :lol:
  4. Roka4csi

    Roka4csi Coroner

    Jun 8, 2005
    Likes Received:
    :lol: For your own safety, you'd be better off avoiding Lebanon. Then again if you ever marry a Lebanese man, you will be the trophy of his village. EVERYONE IN LEBANON will know that some guy from some village married a European blond with blue eyes. You'll be famous!
  5. Mini_Catherine

    Mini_Catherine CSI Level One

    Oct 19, 2005
    Likes Received:
    You guys are my heros! *huggles Ducky and Roka*

    You know you're a Newfie when..

    You know what it's like to step off your roof onto the snow.

    You were smuggeled around in a padded snowsuit in spring when you were little.

    You use more gas in your snowblower than your car.

    When you actually get all that.
  6. Roka4csi

    Roka4csi Coroner

    Jun 8, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Don't forget
    "you know you're a Newfie when Roka knows all your friends :lol: "
  7. Mini_Catherine

    Mini_Catherine CSI Level One

    Oct 19, 2005
    Likes Received:
    I have some more!

    You know you're a Newfie when someone calling you a "Newfie" or "stupid newfie" doesn't offend you.

    YKYANW everyone in your father's town is somehow related to you, like, 3rd cousin's brother-in-law's sister's mother's 2nd cousin's daughter, or, "alyssa, this is uncle richie. he's my second cousin's father's daughter's cousin's son on my mom's step-sister's side."

    YKYANW you take a six-hour drive on Thanksgiving to see relatives you haven't seen in a year, some you don't even know.

    YKYANW you have cousin's in your school, 2nd, 3rd, etc. and you don't know they're cousins. Like, "hey, you're last name's Dunne. You're related to me!"

    YKYANW you can play "I'se the b'y," on the accordian, with the accopiniment of the spoons.

    YKYANW you actually know what "yes b'y," "oh me nerves," and "gotta get me moose, b'y" mean.

    YKYANW people actually want to know if it snows all year 'round, or if we live in igloos. (applies to Canadians, too)

    YKYANW you SERIOUSLY laugh your ass off at these.

    YKYANW you have conflicts between the "bay b'ys" and the "townies." Bay b'ys = people from around the bay, or people who live close to a bay, and townies = people who live in the cities (st. johns, main gander, etc.)

    And finnaly, you know you're a modern newfie when you despise the accents and slang of newfies.

    ETA: A joke!

    Q: How do you know when a Newfoundlander is gay?
    A: He i'se the b'ys. (said like eyes the b'ys, or looks at guys.) :lol:
  8. feenx

    feenx Coroner

    Jun 16, 2006
    Likes Received:

    ~You have ever been hit by a chancla.

    ~You can play any sport wearing your chanclas.

    ~You grew up scared by something called "El Cucuy."

    ~Others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking,

    ~You use your lips to point something out.

    ~You constantly refer to cereal as "con fleis".

    ~Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if it's a one bedroom apartment. :lol:

    *You can dance ranchera, cumbia or salsa without music.

    ~You call your sneakers "tenees".

    ~You have at least thirty cousins and 15 aunts. :lol:

    ~You can't imagine anyone not liking spicy food.

    ~Tamales, champurrado, posole and menudo are must haves on Thanksgiving.

    ~There is more Tequila than punch at little Juanito's birthday party. :lol:

    ~There is at least one member in your family named Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus.

    ~You have a drunk uncle/aunt. :lol:

    ~You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio!

    ~You have ever had to tell your kid /or been told not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll/you'll catch a cold.

    ~You go to a wedding or Quinceaera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go.

    ~Your cousins are delinquents / hootchies.

    ~You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca" who's bigger than a house.:lol:

    ~You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious.:lol:

    ~You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now. :rolleyes:

    ~You have a bottle of Tapatio in your purse.

    ~You know someone that has at least 3 middle names and 5 last names. (hehehe i have 3 names and 2 last names :eek: :lol:)

    ~You are in a 5-passenger car with 8 people in it and a person shouting "subanse, todavia caben mas!"

    Am i the only mexican here :confused:
  9. natyna

    natyna Hit and Run

    May 26, 2006
    Likes Received:
    LOL! That reminds me of the first time I met my boyfriend. I asked from which region he was in Italy. He got all mad at me yelling "I'm NOT Italian, I come from Sardinia"
    :lol: :D :lol: I didn't even bother to ask him where the difference was hihihi
  10. natyna

    natyna Hit and Run

    May 26, 2006
    Likes Received:
    You know you're swiss when

    ~you think of the next fondue/raclette already in the middle of the summer
    ~you don't carry with you a swiss army knife (only strangers fancy that :D)
    ~after 2 hours of travelling you already have to speak another language
    ~you don't understand the dialect of some other Swiss German who comes from another region
    ~you're always a bit slower than all the other nationalities
    ~you're discrete
    ~you're quite friendly to foreigners
    ~you kiss your friends 3 times (2 times for the french part of Switzerland) right-left-right cheek :D
    ~you are waken up by alphorns at 8 o'clock in the morning on saturdays ò_0'
    ~German people laugh at you because of your funny German
    ~people ask you if you eat something else than cheese and potatoes
    ~speaking Swiss German you lose about a pint of spit :D
    ~you call all Germans "Schwobe" ('s only a small region in Germany), all French "d'Waggis" and Italians "d'Tschingge" (from the card game "cinque" = 5)
    ~people start asking you how you are able to pronounce 4-5 consonants in a row and you say "what? normal, or not?"
    ~add after each sentence a ", or not?"
  11. Lauw

    Lauw Police Officer

    Aug 25, 2006
    Likes Received:
    You know you're Dutch when:
    - you eat knakworstjes, frikadellen, kroketten, poffertjes or stamppotten at least once a week
    - you encounter a dozen people (at the least) per day who don't speak Dutch
    - your friends are of 5 different origins
    - you rather watch comedies without subtitles, because the jokes are never translated well in Dutch
    - nobody knows exactly how to spell a certain word, because the grammar changes every year (damn that Groene Boekje!)
  12. SA_Kate_937

    SA_Kate_937 Police Officer

    Oct 6, 2006
    Likes Received:
    I'm South African and I am just copying and pasting this off a site so it might be very long but tis good anyways=)

    Here it goes:

    You know you're South African when...:
    You realise after watching the news on TV that nothing happened in the rest of the world.

    To alleviate congestion in post office queues, they bring in the innovative idea of selling scratch cards.

    You are expected to carry a drivers licence that doesn't fit into your wallet.

    The fact that there is an election and people are standing in line waiting to vote is more important than the result of the election.

    The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.

    People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to get up and make it themselves.

    A minibus taxi overtakes you, just to stop right in front of you.

    When the road narrows, the guy to the rear of you has right of way.

    You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.

    Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.

    You have to prove you don't need a loan to get one.

    A shop clerk makes you feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by letting you buy from their shop.

    You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.

    Ruwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.

    The police ask you if they should follow up on the burglary you've just reported.

    You paint your car's registration number on the roof in large letters.

    When 2 Afrikaans TV programs are seperated by a Xhosa anouncement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Pedi ad.

    The government has more opposition from themselves, than from any opposition party.

    A minister is fired, and returns the government cell phone, but keeps the G-number-plated BMW.

    A 45 year old engineer is replaced by a 25 year old who cannot write his own name.

    The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.

    Half the city pays for the other half's electricity and water supply.

    A murderer gets a 2 year sentence, and a pirate M-Net viewer a 6 month sentence.

    Crime actually DOES pay.

    The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished viewing.

    The government GIVES you a house, and you complain.

    You can't even go on a business trip to Oz without somebody asking knowingly, "Oh, having a look around, are you? ..."

    You attempt to get onto a freeway via an on-ramp and the guy approaching on the freeway deliberately speeds up to prevent you merging smoothly with the traffic.

    There is more space between the sole of your foot and the accelerator pedal than between your rear bumper and the car behind you.

    People would rather drive a flashy car with HUGE repayments and MASSIVE insurance than live in a decent house.

    The post office stores letters instead of delivering them.

    An employer has to pay his employees wages during a strike and cannot lock them out.

    Cops are always able to spot you for parking without display while never able to see the minibus taxis parking in the middle of the road.

    SABC 3 is SABC 2 after 18:30, only in KwaZulu-Natal, except on the weekend.

    Petrol takes the biggest price jump in history, the banks increase their interest rates by two percent, and the Rand's value dives by 25%, but we are told that "we have just had the lowest inflation rate increase in 24 years".

    You go to prison for murder, and instead of the death sentence, you get a nice box of condoms.

    Pre-election promises change into "Rome wasn't built in a day".

    The Minister of Housing didn't build a single house.

    The Minister of Finance doesn't wear a tie.

    The Minister-without-Portfolio makes more noise than all the portfolios put together, and then, when he's given a portfolio, you never hear from him again.

    The Minister of Tourism is the same person who said "One Settler, One Bullet".

    You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.

    You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume".

    You stop at robots, not traffic lights.

    You've never seen live theatre, but you've heard of it.

    You only drink instant coffee and in fact have no clue why anyone would bother drinking anything else.

    You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.

    None of the programs on the five available TV channels run on time.

    You think a car's hazard lights mean, "F*** you, I'm stopping here."

    Your standard response to any statement is, "Is it?" (Pronounced, "Izzit?")

    You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.

    You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.

    You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously.

    The electricity goes off and you see it as a sign of The Collapse of Civilization (tm).

    The electricity comes back on, and you check to see if there are any soccer or cricket games on TV - why else would ESCOM have fixed the electricity so quickly?

    "Armed Response" is not an action, it's a description of every security company in the country.

    You actually bought baked beans in 1994 before the elections.

    You feel it is your democratic duty to vote.

    You have a gear lock for your car.

    You come out of a friend's house/shopping centre/office to find the gear lock worked and your car is still there, but your radio, tapes, jersey and every other removable thing you had in the car is gone, and you just sigh, shrug and go home.

    You know the urban legend about the Oriental Plaza.

    You gawk at American tourists. They're so rare.

    Someone mentions the sea, and your first thought is "Durban" although you wouldn't actually go there.

    You've been up Table Mountain.

    You've been to the Kruger National Park, but only as a child when your school arranged a tour.

    You've never seen snow in real life.

    You know what 'water restrictions' are.

    Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes and volcanoes are only known to you through disaster movies, but you're intimately acquainted with floods and droughts.

    You go to a shopping mall and have to keep detouring around people who stop dead in the middle of the aisle when something catches their interest.

    You go to a New Year street party in Hillbrow and wake up in hospital.

    You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State.

    You shout "Vrystaat!" at rugby games, local or international, even when Vrystaat (the Free State) isn't playing.

    You think that the people who paint their faces the colour of the SA flag look really cool. You still rub people's noses in the fact that we won the 1995 Rugby World Cup.

    The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled.

    You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from South Africa.
  13. SA_Kate_937

    SA_Kate_937 Police Officer

    Oct 6, 2006
    Likes Received:
    Hey, you know that South Africans say Soccer and not football. I think that calling it football is morally wrong! So, yeah that one apllies to South Africans aswell... We're stubborn=P
  14. Sidle71

    Sidle71 Victim

    Sep 15, 2006
    Likes Received:
    Hahaha!!! your post made me laugh! that exact suncream/umbrella rule applies to anyone living in Cape Town South Africa as well!! Weather changes in a snap! Very unpredictable!!
  15. Roka4csi

    Roka4csi Coroner

    Jun 8, 2005
    Likes Received:
    feenx said:
    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    (my mom does the same).

    SA_Kate_937 -:lol: I loved the electricity comment :lol: And yes, "football" is morally wrong. Everyone should be sued.

    Electricity & Water in Lebanon
    Electricity goes off every 6 hours at the exact minute its supposed to be off. But 6 hours later when it's supposed to come back, it's always a few minutes late.

    Water is contained in huge cans on the roof called "khazeins". More than half the time, your khazein is empty becuase the water company refuses to turn on the water that fills it up more than twice a week.

    If you have a problem with the electricity or water, you must call the company a minimum of 6,898,287,195 times before they send someone over.

    Once they do send someone over, they never do the job right anyway, so you bring in your "wasta" (the "important" people you know).

    If you have a Wasta, you can do anything anywhere in Lebanon and probably get a pat on the back for it too.

Share This Page