You know you're Afrikaans when:
There is no middle ground with opinions. You love it or hate it. Bonus points if none of your opinions match those of your parents.
Christmas involves a barbecue, swimsuits, and more alcohol then you knew existed.
You secretly admit that our language is ridiculous, but don't dare tell your family.
Dinner regularly consists of at least 4 kinds of meat. Preferably chicken, pork, lamb, and sausage.
The sausage is boerwors.
If you don't eat at least two helpings of EVERYTHING your father goes into a sulk complaining "you hate my food."
You know what Melktert is.
^You like it.^
You know what keoksisters are. And you have made your own.
You have made your own boerwors.
You are willing to drive for an hour or more just to buy some biltong.
You like biltong.
You like Droiewors.
Your family manages to find every other Afrikaaner within 20km, and you become best friends with them all.
You have at least three family members with Afrikaans-bastardized names. Examples: Mary/Maria = Marietjie (this was almost my name.), Phil = Phillippus, Jake = Jacoubas
Your grandparents fought in the Boer war. On the SA side.
You worship rugby and cricket like Gods.
You have woken up at 3am and driven an hour just to watch a rugby game on a 13inch screen with a bunch of smelly, screaming men.
You share a last name with a player on the Springboks.
Within days of moving to a new town, you have already found three rugby clubs.
Your family attends "Afrikaaner days" at said clubs.
Someone in your family owns a bizarre crossbreed shop. Example: My Ouma owned a burger joint/flower arranging shop.
You say yaw instead of yeah.
You say Och Shaimpies instead of Oh man...
You have watched or attended an ostrich race.
You aren't creeped out by ostriches.
You LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE pap.
You eat pap for breakfast with milk.
Pap appears with more then three of your dinners per week.
You have ever said "Cat Cat, beine Schpeka booom die boom hestiel." and then tickled a young child.
Your grandmother drives with a shotgun across her lap to shoot carjackers.
You think the blaster is a perfectly reasonable invention.
Your grandmother smokes 8 packs a day. And still sounds fine.
Gunfire next door is routine.
You have been sitting in your bedroom and, at least twice, witnessed a fugitive running through your yard, being rapidly pursued by confused cops.
You have bibles in at least three languages in your house. And only one of them ever gets read.
If you see snow before the age of 10, you're lucky.
You see snow for the first time and are so excited that you wet yourself. At the age of 19.
You own at least 15 items of clothing made by Billabong. And you wear at least two of them every day.
You get offended if people ask if you're british/australian.
Your last name is frequently mispronounced, no matter how basic it really is.
WOW, long post. lol.