The Rant and I Cannot Say This Out Loud Thread #2

To my mom: Wow, I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll just leave it at the fact that this is fucking stupid, a waste of time, and you give me no freedom to decide for myself. I'm not a baby. Just because my desicion isn't the one YOU want, doesn't mean it's wrong or suddenly makes me "too immature to decide on my own." God, with you it's always your way or nothing at all. Ever since I've been little, you never actually let me have a choice in things. It may seem like that at first, but in the end it always has to be YOUR choice for MY life, and quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of it. Also: thank you for comparing me to my A+++ friend and saying how I'm lazy and don't try in school. If you want, I won't do my homework anymore. Because I do it every fucking night and apparently it's going unnoticed.

To C___: I know it's sad, pathetic, and dumb, but you really do make my day. It's nice to be able to talk to you every day because everything else is so boring but you make me laugh and forget about everything for at least just a bit. So, thanks I guess? Even though you're probably not doing it on purpose. But you do listen when I have problems and try to help. So thanks for that too.

To my school: I wish you'd all shut up about semi. It's just a stupid dance. I hate dances and I know it's my fault for not going but it's annoying to hear everyone planning for it and everyone saying the same thing: "why aren't you going!? You should go!" Um, no thanks. Just leave me alone, please.

 

I wish this was anonymous, but anywayz..............



To all people out there : Just because I look/feel miserable doesen't mean you gotta treat me like it. Just wish I was respected - as a human being.

I hate when people pass judgement on you before they even get to know you.I hate the fact that I have to suffer in silence. You have no idea what Its like to be alone and going through life not having some one to comfort you - telling you its gonna be ok, kissng you goodnight, or just giving you hug, not having someone to talk to when you need it the most.

Its like being dead, but alive. Where is the compassion? Are we not human?


I wish I can carve out my heart so wouldn't have to feel pain.
_______________________________________________________________

Please, please, forgive me,
but I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Isn't someone missing me?

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there.
Isn't something missing,
Isn't something...?



Does this make me feel better? maybe. Will change the world? Not in this life time.

 

Aw, we all love you CSINEWYORK :luvlove:

To AP: You are so freaking confusing! First you complain because you don't have a job, now you complain because you do. Will you make up your mind! I said that you would complain about everything when you got one, and I was right. They call you in to work for 3 hours today and you told them no? You tell them you have a lot of homework. Since when, you never have homework and in he rare case you do, you never do it. What are you doing that's so important? Oh that's right, taking a nap. I mean, you have one class a day, you go home take a nap and play on the computer. Occasionally you go to work. I have six classes and do as much of my homework as I can. Sure I don't have a job, but I'm still doing tons more work than you are. So stop complaining! :scream:

 

To my bosses: I wish you guys would stop saying you did just fine before I came along. You make me feel like freakin' crap!!! I know I'm a the bottom wrung of the ladder but remember you gotta have a bottom wrong or else you'll never be able to climb the ladder.

 

To John: you added me on facebook then unadded me? WTF? We used to be good friends why did you do that? I'm so pissed at you and hurt at the same time!

To self: stop beating yourself up over things from the past, it's over.

To Brian: why? why didn't you just ask me?

 

To Laptop DVD Drive: Why the heck have you broken! I've just bought seasons 1 and 3 of Without A Trace and now I can't watch them because you've decided to break. Now I gotta wait three weeks to go back home and get my TV to watch DVD's on!

To lousy uni internet: Why aren't you broadband! It takes me 3 hours to download one episode when it shud take like 45 mins! aaaaarrgh

 

To myself:

Why do I let stupid people bug me so much?People have the right to be stupid and I just have to learn to ignore them and let them wallow in their obsessive stupidity over stupid obsessive stuff. It's okay for people to be stupid, it really is.

 

To Mom: THANK YOU for not making me go to the stupid course. I think I lost my voice from arguing over it for over an hour with you, but I'm so relieved.

To C___: Thank you for not being immature and annoying today when dissecting the frog. You were really mature and productive. I'm just sad we didn't get to rip Charles Jr.'s spine out. Oh well, there's always the fetal pigs. And you did really well on your test. I told you you're smart when you try to be. Although I was kind of pissed off when you asked me to study with you in the library and then kind of stood me up. But it's okay, I understand what happened.

To self: I'm not regretting not going to semi... I'm not regretting not going to semi... I'm not regretting not going to semi... I'm not regretting not going to semi... I can't dance. It'd just be embarrassing. The only reason I want(ed) to go is because he might go. Laame.

 

To mom: It's nice to have you back from your work-jorney to Chicago, but could you just even for a day be quiet? The time when you weren't home was soo quiet and nice, nobody was yelling at me 'cause I did/didn't do something (and mostly you just complain about some minor things, like how I'm supposed go to my fencing-training instead of watching CSI NY or how I opened the wrong account in bank, which is btw easily fixed and that makes it total waste of my time listening you complain). Should I just rent an apartment and move there, then I wouldn't have to listen you ruining my every day with whining. Sorry to think like this, but it's so annoying!

To my computer: Sorry I had to formate you, but could you please work properly now? And stop complaining about me trying to find programs how to make you run better. I really need that Adobe Acrobat Reader to view pdf-files, and now you aren't going to let me download it from adobe.com? Oh, you need some other program to download from adobe.com? Too bad, the program you need happens to be in adobe.com along with few other programs that I would need. It was me who lost most of my important files in the formating-progress, not you (you just got free disc cleaning).

 

To my computer: I love you, but you have to stop acting up! My entire LIFE is on you; fanfiction, CSI pictures and interviews, BRITNEY music and pictures (you know those are important!)...You have got to cooperate with me, kk?

To my Grandma (Dad's side): I don't get why you have to be such a (quite frankly) bitch to my parents and to us. Just because my brothers and I are older and don't need as much attention or praise from you, we still would like to know that you love us. I know that Heathco failed unexpectedly but we are in the same financial crap situation as you are...We have to keep trusting God and letting Him work it all out as He has planned. PLEASE just stop putting my mom down. She does MORE than you know and provides for us when we need it. You have no right to criticise or critique her, OR Daddy OR Aunt Barb...She just broke up with Marcus (whom I shall deal with momentarily) and she's sad. LEAVE everyone alone and start trying to be nice and loving instead of mean and criticising. It's offensive and mean that you won't come over and say hi to us anymore, but go spend time with Aunt Barb, or that you won't invite us to Thanksgiving, and force us to spend it alone.

Marcus: I'm glad you're gone....and WAY to break Aunt Barb's heart. AGAIN.

*sigh* I feel better now....Oh, and Aydrienne/Atraeyu: DEAL. Its NOT about your life and your happiness all of the time. There are OTHER people in this house who need and want things too...Just because you complain does NOT mean you win. So grow up and suck it up. All the rest of us hurt enough and have given up a lot for you and you need to start recognising it. ACT like it.

 

To self: Stop it. You're just being dumb. It doesn't mean anything. Even though he was glued to her for what seems like the whole time. Get over it.

To B___: I don't like you even more now. You think you're so awesome but then you're all "OMG I'M SOOO UGLY!" even though you KNOW you aren't. You're just fishing for compliments.

To delivery man: Thanks for only delivering the mouse, LOL. I got all excited when my mom put it on my bed because I thought it meant my whole laptop came. Why do you ship them separately? Haha.

 

I wish I could superglue my mouth shut so I wouldn't eat so much damn! I hate what I see when I look in the mirror.

To my stupid neighbour: My daughter can play the freakin' piano whenever she wants. I got written permission from my landlord to have it so stop whining everytime she plays. Just because you'd rather go out and buy booze while I use what little money I have to get my daughter piano lessons doesn't mean you have to spoil the fun for her. Maybe if you didn't drink so damn much the piano wouldn't bother you.

And to the rest of my stupid neighbours..next time you bring one of your thug friends into the comlplex I'll have the cops at your door so fast it will make your head spin.

Aww I feel better.

 

To that person who flaunted on facebook: I cannot BELIEVE that you have the NERVE to flaunt the fact that you're going to PARIS for Christmas, and then touring Europe for New Years. UN-freaking-BELIEVEABLE. WHY would you even consider being so stuck up!? I bet your rich Daddy is paying for it, huh? So while the rest of us suffer with low income or tons of bills or worrying about how to pay for the expenses of everyday life, much less Christmas, YOU are gonna go to freaking Paris...and you feel the need to FLAUNT THIS!? HAVE some freaking RESPECT!!!!!!

To my thumb: sorry for making you type so much today I know, the very high speed encounter with the coffee table hurt..sorry about that....if Trey hadn't taken my monkey slippers it wouldn't have happened. I'll ice you tomorrow.

To my parents: You're the bestest...I can seriously not imagine living without you, much less still being at that excuse for a school, Bethel, instead of EMU. You rock.

 

To Chrstmas: you have taken all my money, i am soo poor now.

To work: I wish i could cut out the little mistakes that are making me look stupid!

To my foot: why did you have to be in the way when the old TV dropped out of my hands?! now you're really bruised and hurt