The Fury of Love - CatNip RP

Catherine noticed as Nick slowly approached her. It seemed time slowed as she noticed the lines of concern and worry that were edged into his face. She smiled warmly at him before she looked down briefly.

“I’m going to use the little girl’s room, and then we can head out.” She softly squeezed his hand, and held it momentarily before she entered the restroom.

Catherine quietly walked into the bathroom still shocked at herself for asking Nick to stay the night with her. Her heart leached forward at the realization that he said yes.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Sara standing in front of a mirror, body tense as if she was afraid to move. Her breathing seemed a bit erratic so Catherine continued to approach her from behind knowing that Sara should be able to see her arrival through the reflection of the mirror.

But she did not see her, and it was like Sara saw someone else standing behind her. Sara's eyes glazed over in fear as they filled with tears. Catherine swallowed hard not knowing what to do as she witnessed the anguish that Sara was going through. She thought about touching her, but realized the timing was off.

“Sara…?” Catherine softly questioned with concern.

Sara flinched momentarily away from her voice as the intensity of fear in her eyes deepened. “No…, I’m not coming out.” Her voice was shrill as the panic raged its way through her body.

Catherine’s mouth fell open realizing Sara was experiencing some sort of flash back. It disturbed her deeply especially when she witnessed Sara as she began to shake violently. Catherine softly stroked her arm to help bring her back to reality. Sara’s body tensed immediately upon Catherine’s touch, but then relaxed.

“Sara, hey…you okay?” Catherine’s expression was one that she would have given her daughter. She still received no response, but noticed as Sara’s hands shakily supported her forehead as she looked down.

“Sara?” Catherine voice was still soft as she lightly touched Sara’s shoulder. “Hey, you look pale. Is everything alright?”
 
** I have Waiting's permission to use Catherine in this post. **

Sara's eyes went wide and the colour drained from her face as she snapped out of her flashback. She grasped Catherine's arms and held tight, her face twisted into a painful, faraway look.

"But he can't," she mumbled, "He can't because she killed him, that's why." She continued to look at Catherine, but her eyes were focused somewhere about 2 inches right of her head. "Cath, don't let him do it any more," she whispered in a highpitched voice.

"I won't Sara, it's okay," Catherine soothed, trying to get Sara's eyes focused. "Do you want to tell me what happened? When you were little, I mean."

Sara nodded yes and sat up on the counter, her eyes still glazed and unfocused.

"Well, he used to drink a lot, my father," she said slowly, trying to peice the words together in her head, "and he used to get really rowdy and foolish. But when he started to touch me, he'd get angry. He started coming home with a different girl every night, she was dressed up like a hooker doll, sometimes smoking, sometimes sober, sometimes not. Depended on his mood," Sara said sadly. "When he started molesting me, I'd lock myself in the bathroom. I was only 7 and I didn't know what he was doing, only I didn't like it.

"So then, the bathroom would be steamy, and I'd sit and hide by the bathtub, always by the bathtub. He'd open the door somehow, and sometimes he'd make me stare at myself in the mirror, or push me around, or, sometimes, and very rarely, he'd touch me, usually down my shirt. So I'd go to my mom while he was asleep, and she'd let me sit in her lap and cry, but she never did anything to stop him. I don't think she could. From what I know, he did worse to her. So eventually she just snapped, I suppose. He came home with another hooker. They got meaner and sluttier every time, and she asked him where he had been, as usual. He said work, and then went out for a drink. Then he introduced us to SugarPuss - her stripper name. So my mother pulled a gun on him and told SugarPuss to haul ass or she'd shoot her too. My mom grabbed my arm and told me to go outside. I remember hearing a sharp yelp from my mom and I stood up in the window. He had broken a vase over her head, and she was pinned against the wall.

"So she pulled the gun from behind her back and pulled off 3 shots, and then started to laugh. That's when I came in, and I saw my father lying on the ground with his hands over his head. She had missed, and she knew it. 'What are you going to do,' is all she said, then went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife out of the block. All I could do was stand there and scream at her to stop, 'please Mommy, stop, don't do it,' but she did it anyway. There was castoff on the walls," Sara said, now starting to cry fresh tears, "everywhere you looked, blood spatter and pools. She stabbed him so hard, so feirce, so vengfully, and I knew it. So I called 9-11, and they took her away, and took me away, too. That socailworker was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was so scared, all I could to was clutch her hand and I didn't let go the whole time."
 
Congratz on being a wittness, CSIWillows. It's fun, eh?

**

Sara sat, her head filled with tiny, fuzzy thoughts and videoclips of abuse, much like a bad, broken cassette tape.

She hung her head and watched Catherine's expression change from shock, to disbelief, to realization, to sympathy in less than ten seconds.

"That's just about what happened. I was bounced from one fosterhome to the other. Some were good, some were bad, some I wasn't there long enough to know. I don't think I was a bad kid, just troubled. The kids at school, they made fun of me - SuiSIDLE, that was their favorite. I was the girl who's mother stabbed her father to death," Sara sighed, the memories flooding her, making her dizzy. She braced herself and went on, "It was a lot for an 11 year old to handel.

"So, that's my story. In that flashback I must have just had, it wasn't the worst. Actually, it was one of the best - That one didn't bruise, I remember that." Sara pulled up the pantleg on her left leg, to her mid-calf. She pointed to a long, thin gash running from the spot the pant stopped to her anklebone. "That was once, he pushed me into the side of the bed. I have a few on my upperarm, one on my stomach, some on my head. They're just about everywhere."

Sara sighed and watched the realization hit Catherine. She was abused as a child. So this was why.. Sara could almost see the cranks turning in Catherine's mind. And then, she started to cry and wrapped her arms around Sara.

Sara sniffed and tried to keep the tears behind her eyes to no avail. They came anyway. 'God damnit!' Sara cursed in her head. 'Don't cry again.
 
Catherine released Sara briefly from the hug as she found her hands, and held them tight. “God, Sara I’m sorry you had to experience that as a child. I mean sorry doesn’t even begin to cover what you had to endure at such a fragile age,” Catherine said as her vibrant eyes overflowed, and silent tears slid down her face. She quickly wiped her face with the palm of her hand as she wanted to provide Sara with strength and reassurance, and not her own display of sorrowfulness.

She gently wrapped her arms around Sara’s quivering body, and rubbed her back comfortingly. She seemed so small and fragile in her arms. “None of this was your fault, and you did absolutely nothing to deserve this devastating loss you received as a child. You went through absolute hell of losing yourself, losing your faith of trust in the one’s closest to you; but, you are a beautiful person for it." This now explained so much about Sara, the rage Sara displayed from domesticate cases was the result of many years of her own hidden child abuse, and the violent acts by both of her parents. When in reality, Sara’s abuse which was both sexual and physical was slowly eating at her very core.

Sara sobbed in her shoulder, and Catherine found herself crying with her. They cried together for what seemed to be the innocence Sara lost as child. A terrified child at that Catherine thought to herself. “Sar…I’m here for you. I’m here,” her voice quivered as she talked. Catherine’s eyes closed shut as the emotions continued to tug at her heart, and she was just grateful that Sara opened up to her.
 
Sara's eyes were cloudy with tears. She laid her head on Catherine's shoulder as she sobbed. Finally composing herself, she hopped down off the countertop and ran some cold water, blotting her cheeks to remove the redness. She sang under her breath as she did so, and Catherine watched with fasination.

"It was one hundred degrees,
As we sat beneath a willow tree,
Whose tears didn't care, they just hung in the air,
And refused to fall, to fall.

Cause I built you a home in my heart,
With rotten wood, and it decayed from the start.

I braved treacherous streets,
And kids strung out on homemade speed.
And we shared a bed in which I could not sleep,
At all, woo, hoo, woo, hooooo.

And you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
No you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.

I'm a war, of head versus heart,
And it's always this way.
My head is weak, my heart always speaks,
Before I know what it will say. "

As she neared the end of the song, her voice picked up volume, until she was singing with her whole heart. She had tears in her eyes as she turned back to Catherine.

"I know you're there Catherine. You always have been, and I'm here for you, too. You need to trust me. We've always had so much tension between us, competitive stubborn women in a Crime Lab don't usually mix, so I've heard," Catherine chuckled at this. "But it's something that's always going to be there. I think that's just the way we are. But I admire you, Catherine. You're so strong, so independant. Everything I'm not and more." Sara sighed and her head and shoulders drooped as she admitted her defeat.
 
***Thanks for all the huggles...and the rave reviews for the catnip roleplay ;)***

Catherine looked briefly at the floor than looked back up at Sara. "Sara, seriously you have all of those qualities that you just described about me," Catherine managed as she beamed Sara a smile.

Her hand lightly touched Sara's shoulder before she continued to talk. "Your independent, strong in so many ways, determined, smart," Catherine said as she rolled her eyes slightly. "I learned everything by mistake. I did things wrong first in order to find my way. I made countless huge mistakes, and many of them. You seemed to have known all along the right ways to go."

Catherine swiped her tongue over her top lip as her cheeks radiated red at the many things she had done wrong. "Sara, you should admire yourself...Not me," her voice was blunt, but low and gentle. Her light eyes held Sara's stare as she smiled softly at her.

"Are you going to be okay though," Catherine asked as her eyebrow lifted in concern. She realized that Sara went from sobbing to singing a song...a song about not trusting and lost? She was a bit confused. But extremely concerned.
 
Greg let the phone ring for a while but Sara didn’t pick up. How can she be mad at me, she doesn’t even know I’m here? He thought to himself. He looked around. He had been round the town too many times than he’d care to remember, but he still couldn’t find Hayden or his workplace.

He decided to give it one more go before he drove back to the lab. He drove round for about half an hour before he saw the first person that he’d seen on the street since he’d been there. He tried to wave the guy down so that he could ask him for directions to the club, but the guy ignored him. So Greg rolled down his car window part way and shouted out for him instead.

“Hey. Excuse me.”
“Yeah, what?” came the reply.
“Do you know where I can find some club with a flashing disc on front?”
“Yeah. I just came from there.”
“Well do you mind telling me where it is?” said Greg, rolling down his window a bit more to get a better look at the guy. There was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
“Yeah. Just drive down like a minute til the next exit and take a left, its right at the end.” The guy then started to walk away. It then suddenly hit Greg what it was about this guy that he couldn’t figure out. He quickly ran after the guy.

“Hey, hey, stop” shouted Greg, still quite a way behind.
“What?” he yelled back.
“Are you Hayden Sidle?”
“What’s it to you?”
“I’m Greg Sanders, with the Las Vegas Crime.”
“Crime Lab? I haven’t committed any crimes.” He replied, with an angry uneasiness in his voice.
“No. I need to talk to you about Grey.”
“Whoa, whoa, how do you know that name?”
“I’m a crime scene investigator, it’s my job. Now, do you mind coming back to the Crime Lab with me and answering some questions about Grey.”
“Well, are you arresting me for something?”
“No. But…” before Greg could finish, Hayden interrupted.
“Then I don’t have to talk to you. Now get the hell out of here.” The guy then ran off down the street. Well, I can see why Sara never mentioned him, he though to himself as he got back into his car.

He drove back to the crime lab, listening and singing along to a Marilyn Manson album, his brain desperately trying to think what he was going to do next. He needed to find out some more about Grey. Sara didn’t know anything, and Hayden wasn’t being at all co-operative.

He walked into the lab, got out his secret stash of Blue Hawaiian, which looked suspiciously like it had been tampered with, poured himself a cup and sat down in the break room to think.
 
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