Road Trip! The Final Frontier.

Heh, well I try to keep things as interesting as possible. (Some things are more interesting than others of course. )

^ Mwahaha. We shall soon find out about Jess.

Lilly and Ryan are still together--they should have some development comin' up in a bit.

Thanks so much for the reviews, everyone!

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Snowy fields, Russia

Horatio: And there she is. The Hummerhome 2000.

Eveyone: *staring at Hummerhome*

Horatio: Isn't she a beaut?

Calleigh: She's...Pewter.

Horatio: Just like the real deal.

Delko: *scratches head* How come there are giant bars on the top?

Horatio: They're to prevent the Hummerhome from rolling.

Ryan: So I have no place to put my Slip'N Slide?

Horatio: Unfortunately, no.

Ryan: Damn.

Speed: How'd you get a Hummerhome to Russia?

Horatio: I had it transported by boat which cost me quite a bit so this is the last and only Hummerhome.

Lora: But...We're going to destroy it.

Horatio: No you won't. I wrapped the entire inside in bubble wrap.

Anni: I KNEW IT!

Horatio: *looks at Anni*

Anni: You pulled it out of your ass, didn't you.

Horatio: Um. No.

Anni: Yes you did.

Inside Hummerhome

Horatio: So off to the north to see some snow!

Calleigh: OH I can pull out my winter stuff!

Lora: You know, they can grow oranges here so it's not like it's all cold and blizzardy. You guys watch too many movies.

Ryan: But those movies are so exciting.

Lora: *rolls eyes*

Katie: I'm just glad to be out of that hotel.

Lora: OKAY, IT WAS A NICE HOTEL.

Speed: It actually was.

Lora: THANK YOU.

Katie: Ugh. Still gross.

Jess: *coughing*

Delko: Hey, you alright?

Jess: *nods, coughing*

Lora: I don't want what she has. *sits on floor*

Delko: Maybe you should lie down.

Jess: Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Delko: *grabs Jess* Come on.

Jess/Delko leave

Calleigh: She okay?

Speed: I don't know.

Calleigh: Maybe she caught a cold.

Delko: *walks back, popping bubble wrap*

Colton: I think it's herpes.

Calleigh: I don't think so.

Colton: Fine. Leprosy.

Delko: *popping bubble wrap*

Lilly: I vote Lupus. It's always Lupus.

Ryan: Strep Throat.

Missy: Cancer.

Delko: *popping bubble wrap*

Speed: *grabs bubble wrap* Will you stop it?

Delko: Sorry.

Katie: *popping bubble wrap*

Speed: *frowns*

Delko: Maybe she has one of those altitude problems.

Calleigh: Eric, we haven't gone up, we've gone north.

Delko: They aren't the same thing?

Calleigh: No.

cellphone rings

Katie: *opens phone* Yeah?

Missy: It's still Lupus.

Colton: NO, it's Leprosy.

Lora: I like this game. It's like 'find the smell' but with diseases.

Speed: Maybe we should just take her to a hospital.

Horatio: Can't. It's not in the budjet.

Speed: So if one of us has our heads cut off, you wouldn't send us to the hospital?

Horatio: If you had your head cut off, there wouldn't be a trip to the hospital.

Speed: Alright bad example.

Calleigh: So it was a waste of time paying for medical insurance?

Horatio: If you scrape your knee or get a bloody nose, we'll take you to Canada.

Calleigh: Sounds good by me.

Lora: Except...Bandaids always fix that problem just as well.

Katie: *closes phone* Ugh.

Colton: If we're all here, who phoned you?

Katie: *slaps Colton* I get phonecalls. It was Lori.

Speed: What'd she want?

Katie: She got a promotion.

Speed: ...Promotion for...

Katie: Oh. Something called the SCB.

Speed: Sexual Crimes Bureau?

Katie: Yeah I guess.

Calleigh: *smiles* Good for her. That's quite the promotion. I remember I worked there for six months back when I first started with MDPD. I was stuck there until a position opened up at CSI.

Ryan: When you say 'stuck' it doesn't really make it sound good.

Calleigh: Oh it was very rewarding. Just not my cup of tea.

Delko: I did a stint there for three weeks. I was trying to get my weapons permit from the city so they put me behind a desk.

Calleigh: Hey Speed did you ever work there?

Speed: No.

Delko: *popping bubble wrap*

Lora: SERIOUSLY. *grabs bubble wrap*

TBC...................

 

Wee! Thanks so much for the reviews. I see I got Jess in here again. Mwaha. All we need now is to get Katie to sign in.

And Jess' situation will take a 180 so we'll get into that pretty soon.

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8pm, Hummerhome

Horatio: Okay team, it's time for dinner.

Lora: You should have said that 4 hours ago.

Horatio: Better late than never. It's my motto.

Delko: I thought your motto was 'we never close'.

Horatio: I tried to get that on Miami's government buildings but they said no one would know what that means.

Delko: So...They'd know what 'better late than never' was.

Horatio: Yes.

Carly: I think the Hummerhome needs a motto. We could paint it on the side and everything.

Lora: How about 'if we're on fire, call 9-1-1.'

Horatio: Lora.

Lora: What?

Delko: How about 'wide load'

Calleigh: That's horrible.

Ryan: And not much of a motto.

Jess: *opens door* Speed, can you come here?

Speed: *looks over* If it's a woman thing I don't want anything to do with it.

Jess: It's not.

Speed: Okay. *stands, leaves*

Delko: Why didn't she want my help?

Lora: Because you want to call us 'wide load'.

Delko: Well I meant the Hummerhome!

Jess' room

Jess: *sits on bed*

Speed: What's up?

Jess: *throws container onto bed*

Speed: *looks down*

Jess: I've been taking those since we left California.

Speed: Why?

Jess: Because I have an infection.

Speed: Eric asked if you were alright.

Jess: Yeah well Eric thinks he's mature enough to handle things but he isn't.

Speed: You should give Eric more credit.

Jess: I don't want him to know I'm on medication.

Speed: Why?

Jess: *sigh* Because it wasn't prescribed to me. It...Alena got it when she broke her arm.

Speed: *nods*

Jess: I don't want to get Horatio involved because he'll just cuddle me or hold my hand. If I tell Eric, he'll get mad or just laugh at me or something. If I tell Calleigh, she'll tell Horatio. If I tell Katie, she'll probably take the pills from me and dance around the room. I mean, you're the only one who's gone through this kind of thing. Besides, you're not a cop.

Speed: *sits*

Jess: So what am I going to do?

Speed: You're going to go to the hospital and get proper treatment.

Jess: But then everyone will know about the whole thing.

Speed: Your reputation doesn't matter.

Jess: Yes it does! I have a kid, do you know what Eric will do if he finds out his ex wife is flying high? I'll have social services on my ass so fast.

Speed: I don't think Eric would do that.

Jess: I don't want to take that chance.

Speed: Okay. Tonight, I'll take you to the hospital.

Jess: *nods*

Speed: But after this, you have to tell someone else your problems.

Jess: *laughs* Deal.

Speed: Alright. *stands, leaves*

Hummerhome area

Lora: You ever get that part of your butt that itches but you can't quite reach it?

Katie: That's called herpes.

Lora: *frowns*

Calleigh: *bouncing on couch* This bubble wrap is kind of fun.

Delko: Can we decorate our hotel rooms with this stuff too?

Horatio: It's not decoration it's for safety and protection.

Ryan: Is it bullet proof?

Horatio: No.

Ryan: ...Well that's useless. We'll be known as the CSIs from Miami that use bubble wrap instead of kevlar.

Horatio: I'm still alive, aren't I?

Calleigh: What would you ever do if you didn't have a gun?

Horatio: I'd throw my shoe.

Ryan: Knowing his luck, it would actually do some damage.

Delko: How come I can't get so lucky? I always shoot my gun but the bullets never seem to take down the bad guys. Then when Horatio shoots his gun, all of the evil-doers in Miami go down.

Calleigh: It's Karma.

Delko: I have Karma.

Ryan: I've never seen Horatio shoot a woman.

Everyone: *looks at Ryan*

Ryan: Well it's true. All the evil people are guys.

Horatio: I'd shoot a woman if need be.

Calleigh: I thought you didn't want to shoot anyone.

Horatio: Times have changed. I'm like a cross between James Bond and John McClain.

Delko: But you look more like Conan O'Brian and William H. Macy.

Horatio: With style.

Calleigh: Just once I'd like to see a woman James Bond.

Delko: You opting for a movie deal, Cal?

Calleigh: *smiles* I don't think it would do any harm.

12am--outside Hummerhome

Speed: *opens Hummer door* Good thing H brought a Hummer along.

Jess: *gets into Hummer* Won't they be mad that we took it?

Speed: Probably. *closes door*

On the road

Jess: *looks out window* This is stupid.

Speed: What is.

Jess: The whole thing with me and Eric. I obviously don't trust him enough to tell him anything.

Speed: Well Eric's head has always been in the clouds anyhow.

Jess: *scoffs* Wow.

Speed: What?

Jess: Here I am having girl talk with a guy I barely ever talk to.

Speed: *tilts head* I have a daughter. Girl talk comes naturally to me.

Jess: *laughs*

Speed: *smirks*

Jess: *looks in mirror* That person behind us is coming up pretty fast.

Speed: Maybe he wants to pass.

Truck slams into Hummer

Jess: *grabs onto door*

Speed: *turns wheel*

Jess: Ugh, idiot!

Speed: *looks out driver window*

Jess: What?

Speed: He's getting out.

Jess: Should we do something?

Speed: Grab me the gun that's in the glove compartment.

Jess: *opens glove compartment* ...There's just a holster.

Speed: Great.

Guy: *wearing mask* GET OUT OF THE VEHICLE!

Speed: *opens door*

Side of the road

Guy: *points gun at Jess* GET ON YOUR KNEES!

Jess: I don't understand what you want.

Guy: *pushes Jess*

Jess: AH! *falls over*

Guy: You too.

Speed: *gets onto knees*

Jess: They don't sound Russian.

Speed: I don't think they are.

Guy: *ties Jess' hands together*

Jess: Who are you guys?

Guy: Stop talking.

Jess: You know, this isn't exactly new so I'm not scared.

Guy: So maybe you should start worrying about Alena.

Jess: *blinks* What?

Guy: *pushes Jess into truck*

Speed: *reaches hand under Hummer*

Guy2: So what do we do with him?

Guy: The boss said not to leave anyone as a witness.

Guy2: Okay. *pulls out gun*

Guy: *grabs gun* He also said not to kill anyone yet.

Guy2: Oh.

Guy: We take him too.

Abandoned prison

Guy: *shoves Jess into cell*

Jess: AH! *falls over*

Guy2: *shoves Speed into cell*

Speed: *falls against wall*

Guy: Comfortable?

Jess: Why did you mention my daughter?

Guy: Because she's here.

Jess: Why.

Guy: The boss wanted her here.

Jess: WHY!

Guy: *shuts door, locks it*

Jess: *runs to door* WHERE IS SHE! *banging on door* WHERE'S ALENA! *sigh* Well this is perfect. *rubs arm* Ugh.

Speed: You okay?

Jess: *scoffs* No, I'm not okay. I've just been kidnapped, my child is here somewhere, the team has NO idea we're out here and my arm is killing me.

Speed: Well, the team's going to know we're out here soon. *reaches into pocket, grabs object*

Jess: What is that?

Speed: GPS locator.

Jess: *laughs* Thank God.

Speed: It'll give them a heads up at least.

Jess: So we need a plan to get out of here.

Speed: Yeah. Well we'll have to wait until morning so we can see as much as possible. Did you notice the emblem on the one guy's jacket?

Jess: No.

Speed: It said TER.

Jess: ...

Speed: *lifts brow* That mean something?

Jess: *nods* I haven't seen it in a while. It's a gang called 'The Easy Ryders'. They're from Wyoming.

Speed: Where you used to live.

Jess: Yeah. My brother joined them when I was a little kid. My mother disowned him for a drowining that happened at a quary down our yard.

Speed: You're saying you know these people.

Jess: I didn't have much contact with them. I was sent to live with my grandparents when I was 7 because my dad had a heart attack. It was just two years after my mom was killed in Miami during a bank r...

Speed: What?

Jess: The way we got run off the road, how would you describe it?

Speed: More like a standard pit maneuver.

Jess: *nods* Great.

Speed: Care to share with the class?

Jess: My brother Mason is holding us here.

Speed: You never mentioned a brother before.

Jess: That's because I don't have much contact with him. *sigh* I can't believe he found me.

Speed: What does he want?

Jess: I don't know. But we need to find a way out, soon.

TBC.....................