Road Trip! The Final Frontier.

:devil: :devil:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Restaurant, 12pm

Lori: *runs in, sits* Sorry I'm late.

Katie: *looks at watch* You were supposed to be here at 10.

Lori: Slept in.

Katie: *opens book* Now, I think you should have a big extravagant wedding but Tim here thinks you should have one of those lame close-knit family ones.

Lori: *looks at Katie* Huh?

Katie: ...We're here to discuss the wedding. Like every weekend.

Lori: Wedding. Right. I'm getting married. To Scott. I-I mean obviously *laughs* to Scott.

Katie: *flips page* Hey you think we can order one of those giant ice swans?

Speed: *staring at Lori*

Lori: *scratches head* Uh...sure, whatever you want Mom.

Katie: You sure? They're expensive.

Lori: Then don't get the giant ice swan.

Katie: But it would make everything look really sophisticated.

Lori: Alright then, get one.

Katie: It might melt and pose a safety hazard.

Lori: Look, if you want the bloody swan, get it. *angry sigh* Jesus.

Katie: What's your problem?

Lori: Bad morning.

Katie: You have a fight with Scott or something?

Lori: I just don't really want to talk about the wedding right now, okay? Can we put the book away for a while?

Katie: Sure.

Speed: *staring at Lori*

Lori: *looks at Speed* What.

Speed: Nothing.

Katie: I hope Scott's mother contributes to this wedding, she's loaded. Hey you think we should discuss this with Scott tonight at dinner? He-

Lori: Mother shut up about him already!

Katie: *stares blankly*

Lori: *slouches in booth, crosses arms*

Speed: Katie, maybe you want to give us a minute.

Katie: Fine. Talk some manners into her while I steal tampons from the coin machines. *stands, walks away*

Lori: *frowning*

Speed: Where were you last night?

Lori: I drove up to Orlando, there's a little restaurant there that serves the best smoked salmon in all of Florida.

Speed: In the middle of the night.

Lori: Oh my God, did Scott call you or something? That's pretty pathetic.

Speed: He said it's not like you to not come home.

Lori: Is it a crime to want one night to myself?

Speed: No. But you don't eat fish.

Lori: Doesn't mean I won't.

Speed: I expected a better lie from you.

Lori: I wasn't out doing drugs.

Speed: Really.

Lori: Yeah.

Speed: Then what were you doing?

Lori: I was...you know what? *throws hands up in the air* you got me. I checked into a hotel and smoked some pot. My week has been stressful.

Speed: Pot.

Lori: Yep. I'm a horrible, horrible person. Drugs, whew, you must be pissed. Rightfully so. Drugs are very very bad. It won't happen again.

Speed: So I guess the truth must be even worse for you to confess to drug use.

Lori: I'm not lying.

Speed: You've already lied once.

Lori: I don't have to listen to this. *grabs purse*

Speed: You didn't want to talk about Scott.

Lori: *scoffs* Alright. *slams purse onto table* I didn't go home last night because I didn't go home last night. It's not any of your business where I go in my spare time and it's not any of his either. I am allowed to have a life outside of my home. I don't need everyone running surveillance on me.

Speed: What's his name?

Lori: There is no name because there is no guy.

Speed: Stop lying to me. Your truck was in Coconut Grove.

Lori: You ran the GPS on my TRUCK? What the hell happened to not getting involved with everything?

Speed: Scott was worried.

Lori: That's his problem. Since when do you do whatever he says?

Speed: He didn't ask me to do anything. He doesn't know I ran the GPS.

Lori: How discreet of you.

Speed: What is his name.

Lori: ...*looks down at table* ...

Speed: *shakes head* Lori-

Lori: What. You're going to lecture me on faithfulness? You have no god damned idea why I did what I did.

Speed: He must have been something.

Lori: *rolls eyes* ...He's...he's a cop.

Speed: *frowning*

Lori: It was a mistake.

Speed: No. It was hormones and stupidity.

Lori: *lowers head* Look, I already feel horrible enough about it, I-

Speed: Good. And you'd better hope to hell that Scott doesn't just leave your ass in his rearview mirror.

Lori: You're not going to tell him, are you?

Speed: No. You're going to tell him. But if I were you, I'd do it sooner rather than later.

Lori: ...I don't know how he'll take it.

Speed: I guess you're about to find out.

Lori: *frowns*

Katie: *walks over* Okay there aren't any tampons left and my purse could be its own floatation device. Are you two finished yet?

Lori: *stands, leaves*

Katie: What was her problem?

Speed: She's related to me, that's her problem.

Katie: Oh. Well that's a given.

Office building, 2pm

Lori: *knocks on wall*

Scott: *lifts head, smiles* Hey. Where were you last night? I was worried sick.
*stands* Are you okay?

Lori: That's...actually what I wanted to talk to you about...in this very public place with lots of witnesses. *grabs chair, sits*

Scott: *sits on desk* Okay. What is it?

Lori: ...I...I uh...I spent the night at Rosa's place.

Scott: *nods*

Lori: With another man.

Scott: *stares blankly*

Lori: It's not like I planned it or anything, it just sort of happened. It was a mistake and I'm sorry.

Scott: You...slept with this guy.

Lori: *squints* Twice.

Scott: Oh, twice. Sorry.

Lori: *waves hand* Ah you don't have to apologize.

Scott: I wasn't.

Lori: Right. Gotcha.

Scott: *stands, walks around desk, sits in chair*

Lori: *looks at Scott*

Scott: *opens folder, grabs pen*

Lori: *lifts brow* I guess I was expecting more of a reaction.

Scott: Get out of my office. How's that?

Lori: *nods slowly* Loud and very clear. Um does this apply to our house too?

Scott: *writing*

Lori: Scott?

Scott: *presses button on phone* Jeanine.

Jeanine: *walks in* Yes?

Scott: Please escort Miss Speedle off the premises. If she didn't bring a vehicle, ensure that she gets a cab home.

Jeanine: No problem.

Lori: *stands* Just so we're clear...which home?

Scott: I'm going to let you decide that.

Lori: So on the off chance that I pick our house, are you going to be there tonight?

Scott: Yes.

Lori: ...Are you mad?

Scott: Do I look mad?

Lori: I can't tell.

Scott: Then I suppose that's another thing you can think about while you're removing yourself from the building.

Jeanine: *grabs Lori's arm*

Lori: *pushes Jeanine* I can see myself out. *leaves*

Scott: *stands, places folder in filing cabinet*

Jeanine: Is everything okay, sir?

Scott: *turns around, places hands on chair* Did you get that report sent in to HR?

Jeanine: Yes.

Scott: Thank you.

Jeanine: You're welcome. Um...are you alright?

Scott: *staring down at chair*

Jeanine: ...Sir?

Scott: *picks up chair, slams it through window*

Glass falls everywhere

Jeanine: *flinches*

Everyone looks over

Scott: *runs hand through hair*

Jeanine: *blinks* That was 2 inches of glass.

Scott: I'm going to go take 5. You think you could run these numbers for me? I would really appreciate it.

Jeanine: Of course. *grabs folder*

Scott: *walks away*

Restaurant, 7pm

Katie: *sips wine* So...you two not talking or something?

Lori: *stabbing at pasta*

Scott: *pours wine*

Katie: Did you call those halls?

Speed: Most of them are booked up for weddings already.

Katie: Oh. *looks at Lori* Did you consider an outdoor wedding?

Lori: *frowning*

Katie: How about a Miami wedding.

Lori: No.

Speed: So she can say that word.

Lori: *looks at Speed*

Katie: Um...is there something I should know?

Speed: Nope.

Katie: Well if they're having a fight, maybe we shouldn't talk about the w-

Lori: Capital idea. Let's talk about something else.

Katie: Okay. How was your day?

Lori: Oh fantastic. You couldn't get a better day than the one I had. Did you know I'm a worthless bitch subconsciously intent on ruining the lives of everyone else while screwing up my own life in the process?

Katie: ...

Lori: I know, I spent all day thinking and that's what I came up with. Pretty neat, huh. *eats pasta*

Katie: Why would you be thinking about that?

Lori: Because I'm a whore, Mother.

Katie: ...I see.

Lori: *throws fork onto plate* Pass me the water, I don't feel so hot.

Katie: *slides water over*

Speed: Congratulations, that's called a conscience.

Lori: Thanks. I didn't realize that. *holds glass up to forehead, exhales*

Katie: Do I get to know what's going on at some point tonight?

Speed: Go ahead Lori, tell her.

Lori: I've told enough people.

Katie: Tell me! Tell me! I really want to know.

Lori: No. Can we drop it?

Katie: I'll figure it out eventually.

Lori: Sure you will.

Katie: So Scott, how was your day?

Scott: *downs glass of wine*

Katie: *lifts brow*

Speed: Planning a trip back to New York anytime soon?

Lori: *looks at Speed*

Scott: *places glass on table*

Speed: I heard you have a funeral to go to for your friend. Will you be returning to Miami after?

Scott: I didn't realize it was any of your business.

Speed: Just curious. I mean, that's your home. You might decide to stay there longer than you initially planned. It's not like Lori will miss you or anything, she has plenty of other fun things and people to do.

Lori: *frowns*

Scott: I would be eternally greatful if you would stop ambushing her, please.

Lori: *looks at Scott*

Speed: *blinks*

Scott: *grabs fork, digs into food*

Katie: *gasp* SHE CHEATED ON HIM!

Everyone looks over

Lori: *slams head onto table*

Katie: Oh you BITCH. He's such a nice man, why would you do that to him?

Lori: Speak a little louder, thanks.

Katie: He gave you everything! And what do you do? You go sleep with some other random dude? How dare you! I'd kill for a guy like this! You obviously don't deserve someone like him! Who was this random guy!

Speed: He was some druggie cop.

Katie: A DRUG-USING COP?

Lori: *covers eyes*

Waiter: *places water pitcher on table* Yeesh.

Old Lady: *leans over* How did you get in a restaurant of this stature?

Old Guy: I've seen hookers with more grace.

Old Lady: *slaps Old Guy*

Scott: *stands, grabs Lori's hand* Thanks for dinner.

Lori: *lifts head, stands*

Scott: *throws money on table, walks away*

Lori: *follows*

Katie: Damnit, see? She doesn't deserve him.

Speed: Down girl.

Katie: *throws bread into table* Can't make me.

Near car

Scott: *opens door*

Lori: *gets in*

Scott: *shuts door, walks around car*

Inside car, road

Lori: Thanks.

Scott: *staring ahead*

Lori: I can't even begin to apologize to you.

Scott: *swings wheel*

Lori: *grabs onto door* I completely understand if you decide to go back to New York. I'm sure I can find my own place in the mean time. Just drop me off at a motel, I'll be fine.

House, driveway

Scott: *turns key*

Lori: This isn't a motel.

Scott: *steps out of car*

Lori: *opens door, steps out*

Inside house

Scott: *picks up envelope, opens it*

Lori: *bites nail*

Scott: *leans against wall, staring down at paper*

Lori: I guess I'm not sleeping in our bedroom tonight.

Scott: *lifts eyes*

Lori: I'm just going to pack some stuff. It's probably for the best that I leave. *walks toward stairs*

Scott: *grabs Lori's arm*

Lori: *stops, looks down*

Scott: Something's wrong.

Lori: ...I don't know what you mean.

Scott: I found them, Lori. You're taking antipsychotics.

Lori: *steps back, crosses arms* When did you uh...when did you find them?

Scott: Tonight before we left.

Lori: *nods slowly* So you're going through my things now.

Scott: No. Your purse was lying open and they were there. When did you start taking them?

Lori: *sigh*...At the treatment facility. They weren't even prescribed until a couple of weeks before I left. And since my parents decided to get the drug tests from me personally, I modified the results to erase it. The doctors are leaning toward bipolar. *laughs* Turns out I'd been self-medicating for years. *sits on couch*

Scott: *sits* Let me guess, you stopped taking the meds recently.

Lori: I stopped when I was pregnant. And I only started back up this morning after I realized returning to a drug house wielding a gun and then gettin' steamy between the sheets with a complete stranger wasn't exactly a prime idea.

Scott: *nods*

Lori: So I am sorry for ruining our relationship because I didn't go back on my bloody meds for a week. *covers forehead* I'm so sorry.

Scott: *wraps arm around Lori* It's okay.

Lori: No it's not. How could I just flip a switch and do that to you? Nuts or not, it's not an excuse. It's unforgivable.

Scott: Nothing's unforgivable. At least not with me.

Lori: ...You must have been so angry.

Scott: Well...my office is going to need another new window. Let's put it that way.

Lori: *scoffs*

Scott: *smiles*

Lori: Let's keep this between us.

Scott: You still don't want your family to know what's been going on with you?

Lori: Not yet anyway. One 'surprise' at a time. Although it's probably not going to be a huge shocker looking back at my track record. They probably took a hint a while ago that something was up. *tilts head* Maybe not my mother but definitely my father.

Scott: At least now you know for sure.

Lori: I'm not much happier either way.

Scott: You're really not a 'glass half full' kind of person are you.

Lori: No but since you are, we must make a full glass. *smiles*

Scott: *laughs*

TBC...........................

 

Awww great updates!!

Wow I can't believe what Lori did and after all that Scott forgave her...he really is something very special!


Look forward to the next update !

 

Because y'all know me too well? :lol:

Thanks so much for the reviews everyone!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

West Grove, next day, 4pm

Scott: *slams car door shut*

Tom: *glances over*

Scott: *leans on car*

Tom: *staring at Scott* Nice ride.

Scott: It gets me where I'm going.

Tom: You might want to be careful, a car like that will go fast in this neighborhood.

Scott: I'm not worried about it.

Tom: How about your own safety?

Scott: Why, should I be concerned about it?

Tom: You're not a local.

Scott: Very astute.

Tom: Why are you here?

Scott: I was asked to drop off some supplies. Water and dried fruit, things like that.

Tom: Huh. Lori's quite the humanitarian. Where is she?

Truck pulls up

Tom: Speak of the devil.

Lori: *jumps out of truck, closes door*

Tom: Hi.

Lori: *blinks*

Tom: Now isn't this little reunion awkward.

Lori: *looks at Scott*

Scott: *staring at Tom*

Lori: Let's just get the water inside. You know how many people are in there right now?

Tom: 15. You really think this is going to help them?

Lori: There's kids living here. Maybe you should do your job and get them out of this environment.

Tom: It's not my problem.

Lori: Then who's problem is it? Theirs?

Top floor windows explode outward, fireball rises

People scream

Lori: What the hell?

Tom: *runs over to car*

House explodes into fire

Lori: *covers head* What the hell is going on in there!

Tom: Meth lab!

Lori: WHAT? Call 9-1-1!

Tom: And have them know I'm here? I don't think so.

Lori: *runs up to house*

Scott: *runs over*

Lori: Do you have your phone?

Scott: I'm sure half the neighborhood already called for help. *looks up*

Lori: *grabs door, yanks it* Right, the one time they lock it.

Childrens' screams are heard

Lori: *looks back* TOM! GET OVER HERE!

Tom: And do what!

Lori: You're a police officer!

Tom: So? I'm not running in there!

Scott: *kicks door in*

Lori: *looks at Scott*

Scott: *runs in*

Lori: *coughs, covers face*

Upstairs

Scott: *looks around, coughs*

Lori: *runs over* I can hear the kids screaming, where are they?

Pieces of wood crash to the floor

Scott: This room's locked.

Lori: She locked them in here? *touches door* It's steel.

Scott: Looks like she's running more than a drug operation.

Glass breaks

Lori: *flinches*

Scott: We're going to have to break the lock. *looks around*

Lori: Um, I don't mean to rush you or anything but the fire's getting a wee bit hot.

Scott: Yep. *picks up large piece of wood, slams it against door*

Lori: *feels wall* Maybe...maybe we can get through the wall instead. *coughs*

Scott: *looks over*

Pieces of roof cave in

Lori: AH! *covers head*

Banging is heard on other side of wall

Scott: *runs around Lori into next room*

Lori: *runs in* ...Oh Rosa.

Scott: *slamming wood into wall*

Lori: *kneels, places hand on Rosa's neck*

Scott: *pulls drywall away*

Lori: She's dead.

Scott: *kicks through wall, rips wood away* HEY! This way!

Kids run over

Scott: *grabs Girl's arm*

Girl: *crawls over*

Scott: Lori, take them.

Lori: Um...I don't do so well with children, especially if they're crying. How about I pull them out of the room and you lead them outside.

Scott: *grabs Kid, lifts him into Lori's arms*

Lori: *wide-eyed* Uh...uh...uh..

Scott: *pulls children*

Lori: Um Scott, SCOTT! He's grabbing at my hair!

Scott: *stands, grabs Kid from Lori, drapes him over shoulder* Lori, make sure everyone's got a hand to hold onto please.

Lori: Right. *runs around*

Scott: You're all going to follow me outside! Everyone stays together, no one lets go!

Girl: Just like at school?

Scott: Exactly like school, very good.

Girl: *smiles*

Scott: Okay, let's go.

Hallway

House shakes

Girl2: *crying* We're gonna die!

Scott: *steps downstairs* You're going to be just fine, sweetheart. We're not going to let anything happen to you. *takes Girl2's hand* Quickly now.

Girl2: *nods, hops downstairs*

Beams fall

Kids scream

Scott: *lifts head*

Lori: *stares downstairs*

Scott: *grabs kids* Come on.

Girl: The door's blocked!

Scott: *looks over*

Fire rages upward

Scott: *takes off jacket*

Lori: Scott! What are you doing!

Scott: *coughs, swings jacket into wood beams*

Lori: *pushes kids* Okay, off the stairs, off the stairs. Get out of the way. *runs up to Scott* What about breaking a window!

Scott: They're barred! *pushing beams* Get them back!

Lori: *runs over to kids* Back up, back up.

Scott: UGH! *pushes beams over*

Beams smash into floor

Scott: *waves hand* Go! Go!

Kids run

Scott: Keep running! *grabs Kid, lifts him over beams*

Hissing sound is heard

Lori: *looks upstairs* Time to go, Scott.

Scott: That's everyone?

Lori: Yeah.

Scott: Okay, go.

Lori: *runs*

Scott: *runs*

Half a block away

Firetrucks pull over, cop cars scatter

Lori: *leans against tree*

House explodes, collapses

Scott: *stares at house*

Lori: *wipes face with arm*

Tom: *runs over* You guys okay?

Lori: Oh yeah, we're great. Thanks for the help officer.

Tom: Can't help that I was too busy calling for backup. Besides, fire's not my thing. You two could use a shower. *walks away*

Lori: *staring at debris* Scott.

Scott: Yeah.

Lori: Data Analysis? Really?

Scott: I like my job.

Lori: 12 kids saved, Scott.

Scott: I like kids.

Lori: *looks at Scott* I like Matt Damon but I'm not about to run into a burning building to save him.

Scott: You like Matt Damon?

Lori: *frowns* What's wrong with Matt Damon?

Scott: ...Good Will Hunting Matt Damon?

Lori: Bourne Identity Matt Damon.

Scott: *nods*

Lori: *starts to laugh*

Scott: What?

Lori: Wow. No matter how hard I try, I'm still marrying a cop. *covers forehead, walks away*

Scott: *lifts brow*

TBC.............................

 

Hee. Thanks so much for the reviews. :adore:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hummerhome, 10am

Anni: *runs in* I FOUND LIGHTBULBS!

Ryan: *pushes Heather off couch*

Heather: OW.

Anni: *wide-eyed* Hey. What were you two doing?

Heather: Playing twister.

Anni: *lifts brow* With your tongues?

Ryan: It's a new version of the game.

Heather: Although it's a lot more fun when one isn't being pushed to the floor.

Ryan: Sorry.

Anni: Um...okay. Anyway, I found the right lightbulbs. Where did you want me to put them?

Ryan: In the light sockets.

Anni: You said to buy the lights, not install them. Besides, it doesn't take more than one CSI to screw in a lightbulb, I'm sure. *throws lights* I have somewhere to be. *walks away*

Ryan: Man I wish I had somewhere to be.

Heather: I'm sure we'll be leaving soon. I heard something about Central America?

Ryan: Oh good, somewhere we can drop Eric off in and leave.

Heather: *slaps Ryan*

Miami PD

Scott: *signing papers*

Tom: *steps over* What are you doing here?

Scott: Signing a statement.

Tom: Right now?

Scott: Figured I'd do it before I got into work.

Tom: You're not as boring as I'd previously thought. Lori seems to go for the heroes.

Scott: Is that so. And what are you supposed to be for her to find you worth her time?

Tom: *laughs* That's a good one.

Scott: Well you were prepared to let a bunch of children burn to death to save your career, that's not exactly what I would call an attractive quality.

Tom: Wasn't my problem.

Scott: If you're a human being, it is your problem. Not to mention you're the one wearing the badge, isn't that what you signed up for? To protect and serve? You should remember it, it's stenciled on your car.

Tom: You think they actually hire us to protect people? Society lives in fear. We're just a symbol of feigned safety to make everyone feel better. Sure, there are some people who get into this to help facilitate justice and make a difference in someone's life and there are some who do it for the thrill but in the long run, it's all just to keep up appearances and put a paycheque into someone's pocket. My pay day's are great and the chicks dig the badge.

Scott: I bet that helps you sleep at night.

Tom: *shrugs* If it gets me some ass.

Scott: *writing*

Tom: You hate me, I can see it. You just can't stand that Lori and I got all hot and sweaty. Whew, the things she did...but I'm sure you already know she's quite a pistol in the sack. Definitely knows how to satisfy a man.

Scott: *flips page* Not very wise of you, Tom.

Tom: Why? You going to beat me up?

Scott: I'm sure you'll get enough of a beating from IAB once they find out where you've been spending your spare time. I have to tell ya, my camera phone sure came in handy when I was innocently passing through the neighborhood looking for an address. Besides, you paid credit to the private lab that switched your urine tests. *lifts head* That's a paper trail, isn't it?

Tom: *frowns* You're blackmailing me?

Scott: No. I've already forwarded the evidence. Just giving you a heads up in case you wanted to resign or y'know, skip town.

Tom: You're bluffing.

Scott: I guess you'll find out.

Tom: *walks away*

Scott: *frowns*

TBC..............................

 

:lol:

Thanks so much for the reviews!

I get the feeling I'm going to be yelled at for this but...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5 months later, office

Katie: *walks in* Busy?

Lori: If you're here to tell me to get back together with Scott, then yes.

Katie: I just don't understand what was so irreconcilable. He forgave you for the bed hopping thing.

Lori: Yeah, I guess the only problem is I didn't forgive myself. *opens file* It's not fair for him to be reminded of it every day, he's a good man. He deserves a good woman and I'm not it.

Katie: And there's no chance you can fix it.

Lori: From where? Over the phone? He's been in New York for the past 4 months.

Katie: *grabs chair, sits* And you've been pregnant for the last 4. Is that why you won't call him?

Lori: *sigh* Mother, I don't want to get into this with you again. I know you like the guy but it's over. Okay? I told him to leave, he left. End of story.

Katie: Except he didn't know about the kid.

Lori: Well then I guess I take after you.

Katie: Um, your father knew I was pregnant when I left him. And he was a big jerk when I left. You have no reason to ditch Scott.

Lori: I already told you my reason.

Katie: Yeah, you're so overwhelmed with guilt that you told him to take a hike in search of greener pastures that won't cheat on him.

Lori: You weren't there the last couple of months. It was...different all of a sudden between us.

Katie: And you never thought to give it some time?

Lori: I don't know, maybe I really did only love him for his money and support when my life was in the crapper. I wasn't about to continue using him.

Katie: Okay but Lori, you're having his child, I think he deserves to know.

Lori: And what if he found someone else? Is it fair to drop a nuke on him like that?

Katie: Yes.

Lori: *angry sigh*

Katie: You know, your father won't even talk to you.

Lori: I know. He thinks what I did was heartless and reminiscent of you. Besides, you guys have been on trips so it's not that big a deal.

Katie: Yeah we have another one coming up. Horatio's taking us to a box factory.

Lori: Sounds exciting.

Katie: *smiles* Oh it will be. He should learn never to take us on field trips.

Lori: *smiles*

Katie: Just promise me in 5 months or so, you'll consider taking a vacation to New York.

Lori: I can't promise that.

Katie: *rolls eyes* How about a voicemail.

Lori: Great, if you find out his number, let me know.

Katie: Ugh, Lori. Sometimes I just want to slap you. That poor man was ready to marry you and you broke his heart. *grabs laptop*

Lori: What are you doing?

Katie: Doing a search on him. I want to make sure you didn't make him commit suicide or anything.

Lori: Do you know how many Scott Finch's there probably are in New York?

Katie: *typing* We're about to find out.

Lori: *leans back in chair* You're hopeless, Mother.

Katie: AHA! 17 names. Okay, one's an 80-year old man so we can cross him off the list...8 are over the age of 45 so they're gone...that leaves 8 to search. Okay, we have a construction worker in Queens, a school teacher in Brooklyn, a child attending school so he's gone...

Lori: *shakes head*

Katie: A research scientist for Columbia University, stock broker, cab driver, military recruitment officer...CEO of APL Manhattan Corp?

Lori: What the hell is that?

Katie: It's an investment company. *lifts brows* A very wealthy one. You think he's a CEO?

Lori: Doubtful. He has a better chance of being the cab driver.

Katie: *clicks mouse* I don't know, it says the branch is on the 78th floor of the Empire State Building.

Lori: A lot of companies are up there. He's probably not on the list because he got married or something and took the chick's name. It's not unheard of. Either that or he's homeless.

Katie: *clicking mouse*

Lori: What are you doing?

Katie: Navigating the website for this APL thing. Ooh they own some charity foundations. There's one here to preserve Manhattan's historic buildings, another for a children's hospital and the last one is funding for a memorial...somethingorother.

Lori: Memorial for what.

Katie: *lifts head, smiles* Your boyfriend's the CEO of an international investment company.

Lori: *frowns*

Katie: Doesn't really surprise me. He's charming, intelligent, passionate...pretty much everything you aren't.

Lori: Cute.

Katie: Do you know how much his company makes a year? 2.64 billion.

Lori: *smirks, covers mouth*

Katie: What?

Lori: Sorry, I thought I just heard you say billion.

Katie: I did. And you broke up with him.

Lori: It's not about the money, Mother.

Katie: Yeah right, you're practically drooling.

Lori: Look, if this is Scott, I'm happy for him. I really am. I hope he has a great life. But I'm fine where I am, I'm living comfortably. There's absolutely no need to slam a bigass foot into the boat if I don't need to.

Katie: *grabs phone* I'm calling his branch.

Lori: NO! Mother!

Katie: *dials* I wonder if he answers his own branch phone.

Lori: Probably not, would you put the phone away?

Katie: Yes! Hi! I'm lookin' to speak to Scott Finch...appointment? Uh I need an appointment? That's so cool.

Lori: Oh Mother.

Katie: Listen, before we get any further, is he about 6'1", blue eyes, brown hair, clean shaven with a thick accent?

Lori: *frowns*

Katie: Uh huh, uh huh...yes I realize this isn't a dating service.

Lori: *shakes head*

Katie: But he does match the description I gave, right? ...Because I need to know who I'm lookin' for when I set up the appointment.

Lori: Mother, no appointments.

Katie: *winks* It's him...is he single?

Lori: *covers eyes* We are not related.

Katie: Well I don't want to send the poor guy flowers if he's shackin' up with another woman dontcha know.

Lori: No flowers.

Katie: Oh...so he's single is he?

Lori: *lifts head*

Katie: You sure? ...Yes I know, you already told me this isn't a dating service...why don't you just patch me through to his personal line. Hello? H-Hello? *looks down at phone* She hung up on me.

Lori: I'm surprised she didn't do it sooner.

Katie: *dials phone*

Lori: What are you doing?

Katie: Calling back.

Lori: MOM.

Katie: Hi! You might remember me from 4 seconds ago. Look, I think we started off on the wrong foot here. See, I'm calling from M-

Lori: *frowns*

Katie -ount Everest and I need to know how I can get some shares all the way up here...oh the weather's great, it's a little windy though.

Lori: *smirks, covers forehead*

Katie: Oh yeah, definitely. Nothing says Heaven like a lack of oxygen and goat milking...zip code? Uh...I don't think they have those up here. I'm pretty sure I'm not in the US. Almost definitely sure. If I was, my zip code would be 33127.

Lori: *angry sigh*

Katie: WAIT! I didn't mean that, it was just a random set of numbers like 90210. It just rolls off the tongue, y'see...she hung up again.

Lori: Stop harrassing New York.

Katie: *looks at watch* I'd better get back to the Magic School Bus before Horatio leaves without me. *stands, runs over* Okay, I'll talk to you later. *hugs Lori*

Lori: *rolls eyes*

Katie: Can't believe you dumped a millionaire. Ugh.

Lori: Let it go.

Katie: You'd better damn well get child support from the guy. *walks away*

Lori: *frowns*

Box Factory

Anni: I can't believe he actually took us to a box factory.

Delko: What exactly are we supposed to do?

Ryan: Look at boxes?

Jenna: Are road trips always this gay?

Heather: We're barely on the road.

Horatio: You can't fully appreciate cardboard boxes until you understand how they come to be.

Heather: I understand perfectly well. I go to Costco and they give them away free. That's all I need to know.

Horatio: There's a real science involved with this.

Lora: I'm sure there's some sort of science involved with plucking nose hairs too but we don't investigate that.

Anni: Don't give him any ideas.

Horatio: Look at this, this machine pre-bends the cardboard so the workers can assemble them.

Delko: Can I touch it?

Horatio: NO. I got these tickets on a favour, don't touch anything.

Anni: You know people in the box industry? Wow, I'm impressed.

Ryan: Maybe he ran out of ideas to keep us occupied.

Horatio: If you're all good, we might go to the zoo.

Ryan: Yeah and while we're at it, let's stop at the botanical garden and then rent a tour boat.

Horatio: Oh good idea.

Ryan: *blinks*

Hallway, near water fountain

Katie: Man everything here's shaped like a box. I think they went a little overboard.

Speed: Yeah, God forbid they create a building in the shape of a square.

Katie: *rolls eyes* You know what I mean.

Speed: *smirks, throws change into soda machine*

Katie: So you need to call Lori.

Speed: *frowns*

Katie: Come on, Tim. She hasn't heard from you in 5 months.

Speed: And she won't hear from me for another 5.

Katie: What's your problem? It's not like she broke the law, she's not doped up, she didn't kill anyone and she's working her ass off. Did you know she actually kept that house? Her job pays really well and she just got a promotion.

Speed: Good for her.

Katie: All of this because she broke up with Scott.

Speed: You wanted me to let her go so I let her go. My life's been great since I took your advice, I even have lower blood pressure.

Katie: Uh yeah I said let her go not stop speaking to her out of spite. You think she might need her father right now? She's about to have a child and she knows absolutely nothing about motherhood.

Speed: Then I guess it's a good thing she has her mother to help her out.

Katie: She thinks I'm an idiot.

Speed: That'll change once she's knee deep in diapers. *grabs soda*

Katie: You don't think she'll make a very good mother.

Speed: Nope.

Katie: Why? She can take care of herself just fine, it stands to reason she'll be okay with a baby.

Speed: It's not like she's buying a cat, Katie. She's the kind of person who takes off for a few hours at a time just to meet up with someone or to buy something, she only thinks about herself in the moment. You do realize social services is going to be there the second she gets into the hospital because she has a history of drug use.

Katie: She's been just fine for the past few months, I'm sure they'll let her keep it.

Speed: I wouldn't.

Katie: You haven't spoken to her in almost half a year, you don't know anything.

Speed: I know she's immature, dependant on others, manipulative and reckless. Don't be surprised if I'm the one who makes the call to the government.

Katie: Tim, you are not going to do that to her. She deserves a chance and you have abolutely no idea who she is now and if you'd bother spending 2 minutes with her, maybe you'd find out. I swear, you're so big on evidence unless it has to do with your own daughter.

Speed: *shakes head*

Katie: She should be off in a couple of hours. Go to her house and have a coffee or something.

Speed: I don't drink coffee.

Katie: *places hand on Speed's chest* Learn.

Speed: *frowns* No. *walks away*

Katie: *sigh* Idiot.

Speed: *turns around* Excuse me?

Katie: Oh, I uh...I was...BAH! *throws soda can, runs away*

Near conveyer belt

Delko: *touches belt*

Worker: Don't touch that.

Delko: Sorry. *touches belt*

Worker: Don't touch that.

Delko: Sorry. *touches belt*

Worker: Stop it.

Delko: Oh, sorry. *touches belt*

Worker: Are you retarded or something? I said stop touching that. You're going to screw up my line.

Delko: I'm very sorry.

Worker: *shakes head*

Delko: ...*pushes box over*

Worker: OUT! OUT! OUT!

Delko: AH! *runs away*

Near wall

Anni: *hands over money* Good job man.

Delko: *smiles* Thanks.

Anni: My turn.

Delko: 50 bucks if you can make him cry.

Anni: Ooh a challenge. I like. *walks away*

Near conveyer

Anni: *leans over belt*

Worker: *looks over*

Anni: It's a very pretty conveyer belt.

Worker: Thanks. Don't touch it.

Anni: I wouldn't dream of it. *leans against button*

Machines beep and smoke

Worker: NO! NO NO! GET OFF THE BUTTON!

Anni: Oops.

Worker: You shouldn't even BE down here!

Anni: I was looking for the bathroom.

Worker: DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A BATHROOM!

Anni: That depends. Do you put toilet paper in these boxes?

Worker: No. We don't put anything in the boxes. This is a BOX factory. We make BOXES.

Anni: I see. Say, do you think you could make a box big enough to fit a house in?

Worker: No. We make commercial boxes.

Anni: There are commercials for boxes?

Worker: *eye twitch*

Anni: So what do I gotta do to get a job down here?

Worker: First of all, don't touch anything. That's a major pre-requisite.

Anni: Do you have like a box-making college? Kind of like clown college?

Worker: This is a respectable job.

Anni: Oh I agree. But it seems like they have a college out there for everything nowadays. I'm surprised people don't need degrees to work at McDonalds. Did you have some sort of special training?

Worker: No.

Anni: So I could do this job.

Worker: No.

Anni: But you just sai-

Worker: I'm busy, can you go away?

Anni: I'm here on a tour. You're supposed to be educating me. You never know, when I retire, I might want a stable part-time job just to keep me busy and boxes are looking like a real possibility. *smiles* Maybe I'll get to work beside you EVERY DAY! YAY!

Worker: GET AWAY FROM ME! *runs away*

Delko: *walks over, laughing*

Anni: *smiling*

Delko: He's crying like a little girl.

Anni: *lifts hand* 50 bucks.

Delko: You are the master. *hands over money*

Anni: Damn straight.

Near another conveyer

Ryan: I dare you.

Heather: No.

Ryan: I triple dog dare you.

Heather: No.

Ryan: Come on, boogie board on the conveyer with me!

Heather: I'd rather keep my neck in tact, thanks.

Ryan: What's the worst that could happen?

Heather: Huh. The philosphy passed down from our founding fathers. Let's do it.

10 minutes later

Horatio: *walks out of room, holding coffee*

Boxes are seen everywhere, smoke billows upward, machines beep wildly

Horatio: *blinks, looks down at coffee* How long was I gone?

Ryan: Um, can someone help? *grabs onto machine* My head's stuck in this pizza cutter machine thing.

Horatio: *sigh* That's it, I'm buying leashes.

Horatio's office

Heather: *slouches in chair*

Ryan: *leaning against wall*

Horatio: What do you have to say for yourselves?

Ryan: Surf's up?

Horatio: *frowns*

Heather: Come on, you don't come down on everyone like this, right? It was just a boogie board and a conveyer belt.

Ryan: Yeah and the boogie board was right there asking to be used. It's not our fault we fell into temptation.

Heather: Be happy the damage was only restricted to Ryan's head.

Ryan: Yeah. Wait, what?

Horatio: You're both going to mop the entire lab tonight after dark.

Heather: Oooh.

Horatio: And if I come back tomorrow morning and see a mess, there's going to be hell to pay.

Heather: Like what?

Horatio: Don't test me.

Heather: But that's what makes our life complete.

Horatio: To clarify. You will not mop the floors with paint, oil, dirty water, toilet bowl cleaner, acid, or glue. You will use regular water.

Ryan: How much water?

Horatio: *frowns* Don't flood my lab.

Ryan: Right.

Horatio: And you're not going to mop anything else BUT the floors.

Heather: Damnit.

Ryan: *smiles*

Cellphone rings

Horatio: *looks down at phone* Give me a minute, please.

Heather: Sure. *walks away*

Ryan: *walks away*

Hallway

Ryan: Okay, let's wrap Horatio's office in toilet paper.

Heather: Wet toilet paper.

Ryan: And STINK BOMBS!

Delko: *walks past, stops* ...What are you guys doing?

Ryan: Plotting.

Delko: Oh cool, I want in.

Ryan: Okay but you have to promise not to tell Horatio.

Delko: No problem.

Calleigh: *walks over* Hey I hear scattered whispering, what's up?

Ryan: We're plotting.

Calleigh: Oooh.

Ryan: You want in?

Calleigh: Depends. Are we hurting anyone?

Ryan: Oh no, don't worry. The only thing we're hurting are egos.

Calleigh: Terrific. I'm in.

Ryan: But you have to promise not to tell Horatio.

Calleigh: Ryan, I'm barely ever in the same room as Horatio.

9pm, Lab

Heather: *dancing with broom* SEX BOMB! SEX BOMB!

Everyone: *staring at Heather*

Ryan: You know, people can hear you.

Heather: *spins around* Huh? What? RYAN STOP SINGING!

Ryan: Operation Carrot Top is about to commence. Do you accept your mission?

Heather: Yes sir. *salutes*

Ryan: Okay. I'm going to assign you your nicknames. From now on, you'll be known as Sex Bomb.

Heather: Real mature.

Ryan: Eric?

Delko: Yeah.

Ryan: You'll be known as Ricky Martin.

Delko: I resent that.

Ryan: And Calleigh? You'll be Barbie.

Calleigh: *frowns* I don't want to be Barbie.

Ryan: It's easier to remember.

Calleigh: But I'm not a Barbie.

Ryan: So? Eric's not Ricky Martin but he's taking it like a man.

Delko: Actually, I don't want to be Ricky Martin.

Heather: And how come I'm Sex Bomb?

Delko: Can I be Sex Bomb?

Heather: If you get Sex Bomb, I don't want Ricky Martin.

Calleigh: You can be Barbie.

Heather: Yeah but then you're Ricky Martin.

Delko: Hey Ryan, what's your code name?

Ryan: The Wolf.

Delko: That's stupid.

Ryan: Actually it's very fitting.

Heather: If you get a cool name, I want a cool name.

Ryan: You can be Heater.

Heather: *frowns* That's just Heather without a letter.

Delko: I still get to be Sex Bomb, right?

Ryan: *rolls eyes* Okay, look, the nicknames aren't important. What's important are the items we're using to screw up Horatio's office. Remember to put on your latex gloves, we don't want him running any prints and finding out it was us.

Heather: Then shouldn't you have turned off the security cameras?

Ryan: ...Where's a Nixon mask when you need one?

Heather: Plus, he knows you and I were supposed to be here.

Ryan: Heather, stop ruining it.

Delko: Yeah Heather. Stop ruining it or we'll put you on century duty.

Heather: Stop being such a sidekick.

Delko: Eric Delko is no sidekick.

Heather: Yeah? What were you with Speed?

Delko: We were equals.

Calleigh: *bursts into laughter*

Delko: *looks at Calleigh*

Calleigh: *wipes eyes* Oh Eric, I'm sorry but that was the most hilarious thing you've ever said. *snorts* Equals.

Delko: *frowns*

Horatio's office

Heather: *wraps toilet paper around lamp* So why are we doing this again?

Ryan: Remember when we were driving to Oregon and Horatio slammed on the breaks really hard while I was in the bathroom?

Heather: No.

Ryan: Well, that's why.

Heather: I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose.

Ryan: He never does anything on purpose. It's always 'oh poor little innocent me' and 'oh gee Ryan, I didn't realize I slammed on the breaks JUST as you whiped it out and started peeing'.

Heather: Ever hear of too much information?

Calleigh: Ever hear of sitting down to take a whiz?

Ryan: Real men never sit.

Delko: Real men wait until the Hummerhome is at a complete stop.

Ryan: Says the guy who got stuck out the back window without any pants on.

Delko: HEY. We agreed we'd only bring that up on special occasions.

TBC......................

 

Mwahaha. :devil:

:lol: That sounds like a prime idea. I'm sure they could get into all sorts of trouble that way.

Thanks so much for the reviews!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hummerhome, on the road, 3 months later

Horatio: Okay let's put the pedal to the metal folks.

Heather: Can I drive?

Horatio: No. Only I drive. Besides, the last time I left you alone with something, my office was covered in toilet paper and stink bombs.

Heather: Oh yeah.

Ryan: How'd you know it was us?

Horatio: Someone wrote 'Ryan Wuz Here' on the wall in crayon.

Ryan: *looks at Eric*

Delko: Calleigh did it.

Calleigh: *slaps Eric* Did not you liar. You were the one with the crayons. You even stuck a bunch up your nose to see how many you could get up there.

Delko: And I have been undefeated by 17 ever since.

Ryan: That's because no sane human being would shove crayons up his nose unless they were mentally ill or 5.

Speed: I hate to say it but Eric may very well be both. He just hides it too well.

Delko: I am not 5 years old.

Calleigh: Nah, he's at least 10.

Delko: Thank you. Wait, what?

Horatio: Guys...

Calleigh: Sorry.

Speed: He does it to himself, H.

Horatio: It wouldn't get half as far if you didn't instigate.

Katie: *points out window* COW!

Speed: WHERE!

Katie: BAHA! Made you look.

Speed: *frowns*

Katie: *smiling*

Colton: That was mean. WUBBA!

Delko: *screams*

Colton: What a girl.

Horatio: What did I say about instigating?

Colton: That it doesn't get half as far if we don't.

Horatio: Maybe I should clarify. Stop instigating.

Katie: Yeah but it's way better than playing I Spy, am I right?

Anni: I'm pretty partial to Travel Scrabble. Until Eric ate all the pieces.

Delko: You dipped them in whipped cream and told me they were special cookies.

Anni: *laughs* Oh yeah.

Speed: Eric, at what point did you realize they were pieces of wood?

Delko: When I coughed up the letter Z.

Jenna: Is that why the board games have padlocks on them?

Horatio: Yes. I don't want a repeat of last time, please.

Jenna: Why don't we just stop bringing them?

Everyone: ...

Speed: Let me get this one. See it's very simple, Jenna. We don't seem to understand cause and effect, therefore we make the same stupid mistakes over and over again until Papa Bear eventually takes the toys away.

Delko: The shower head's not a toy, how come I'm not allowed to touch it anymore?

Speed: Because you opened the window and started spraying people's cars while screaming 'RAIN!'. You caused a 4-car pileup.

Delko: It's not my fault they don't know how to properly use their windshield wipers.

Katie: I have an idea, let's make a list of things Eric's not allowed to touch so we can post it on the wall for him. Okay. *grabs paper and pen* Go.

Calleigh: Well there's the obvious. Board games and shower head.

Katie: Okay. *writing*

Speed: The stove.

Heather: The blinds.

Carly: Not to mention the fridge.

Jenna: Don't forget all of its contents.

Colton: The big screen television.

Lilly: The light switches.

Lora: The passenger side of the Hummerhome.

Carly: And the driver's side.

Calleigh: The microwave.

Ryan: The knives.

Jess: All the forks too.

Anni: The beach ball in the back.

Carly: The Slip N' Slide.

Speed: The medicine cabinet.

Heather: The dish detergent.

Jenna: The stereo.

Anni: Wall sockets.

Calleigh: Shiny things that dangle in sight.

Speed: Clothes with buttons.

Katie: SLOW DOWN! Jesus, I'm still at the shower head.

Colton: Maybe we should have just placed him in a straight jacket and tied him to the roof.

Delko: *starts to cry*

Speed: *hands over tissue*

Delko: I don't WANT your stupid pity tissues.

Speed: Suit yourself.

Horatio: Apparently no one understood the no instigating rule.

Calleigh: Um Horatio?

Horatio: Yes Calleigh.

Calleigh: Why are we only going 15 miles an hour?

Horatio: It's safe.

Speed: It's going to get us a ticket.

Horatio: I'll be the one on this highway that determines who gets a ticket.

Jenna: *plasters face to window* Hey look, that car full of grannies just whizzed past us.

Carly: So did that tractor. HEY he just gave us the finger.

Calleigh: Come on Horatio, step on the gas.

Delko: Yeah, you said put the pedal to the metal not touch it with the edge of your toe like it's a pool full of cold water.

Horatio: I'm not going to ruin another Hummerhome because of you speed demons back there.

Carly: In all fairness, it's probably safer to go the speed limit so we can keep with the flow of traffic.

Lilly: Stop bein' an old man and HAMMER IT!

Horatio: Slow and steady wins the race.

Speed: Fast and furious gets the chicks.

Everyone: *looks at Speed*

Speed: He said something stupid and I'm not allowed to retort with something equally dumb?

Anni: No, you are. We just didn't think you'd say it outloud.

Katie: Pfft fast and furious does not get the chicks.

Speed: *frowns* I was talking about cars, get your head out of the gutter.

Katie: I can't. I'm stuck there. It's covered in mud, tar and porn.

Delko: Sounds like my kind of gutter. *brow bounce*

Katie: Ew. No men allowed in my gutter.

Delko: Damn. You sure?

Jess: *slaps Eric*

Speed: *slaps Eric*

Delko: OW! What was that for?

Jess: Being an idiot.

Speed: Reflex.

Delko: *rubs arm*

Katie: Reflex my ass.

Speed: *rolls eyes*

Carly: Oh my God, Horatio, step on the gas already. Those goats on the side of the road are hauling ass.

Horatio: A patient, conservative driver is a safe driver.

Delko: You can be patient and conservative while you're doing the speed limit too.

Horatio: When you're old enough to have your own Hummerhome, you can make the rules but until that time, it's my ball game.

Katie: Man all you're missin' now is the old man hat and the calendar to be changed to Sunday.

Horatio: Why, what's on Sunday?

Katie: *blinks* Nevermind.

House, 3pm

Lori: *bangs on door* ...Ugh come on. *bangs on door*

Cait: *opens door*

Lori: *winces* Is your dad home? You know, my uncle.

Cait: *lifts brow* I know who you are and I know who my dad is.

Lori: Oh. Good. Is he home?

Cait: The last time I checked, yeah. What do you want him for?

Lori: I need to speak to him.

Cait: Obviously.

Lori: Be a dear and go get him.

Cait: What for?

Lori: *frowns* JUST GET HIM!

Cait: *rolls eyes, turns around* Dad! Lori's here and she's crazy! *walks into house*

Inside house

Josh: *walks downstairs* What's going on?

Cait: Lori's nuts.

Lori: *sits on chair*

Josh: Cait, go upstairs and do your homework.

Cait: But Dad!

Josh: Fine, no sleepover.

Cait: Ugh. *walks upstairs*

Josh: So what are you doing here?

Lori: I-I don't know what to do and my mom's not in town and I-UGH! *leans over*

Josh: Are you in pain?

Lori: Gee, how could you tell. *squints* I don't know what's wrong.

Josh: Um...well it might be because you're pregnant.

Lori: So? What does that have to do with anything?

Josh: I'm no doctor but it looks like labor.

Lori: Excuse me? No. That's impossible, I'm WAY not ready for that yet.

Josh: Unfortunately for you dear, your baby doesn't care.

Lori: No, you don't understand. It's too early.

Josh: *grabs Lori's hand* Mhm, let's go.

Lori: Where?

Josh: Hospital.

Lori: No. I don't do hospitals.

Josh: Where did you think you were going to have this baby? Your bathtub?

Lori: GAH! *squeezes Josh's hand*

Josh: Ow. Okay, walk and breathe, walk and breathe. Did you do any of those breathing exercises?

Lori: What the fuck are you talking about?

Josh: Guess not. Oh hey did you want me to bring a camcorder or something?

Lori: If you bring a camcorder, I'm going to shove it up your ass.

Josh: *nods*

Lori: But I bet you're used to that.

Josh: *frowns*

Lori: Oh shut up, I'm not in the mood for that scowel right now.

Hummerhome

Delko: Did you have to wrap my hands in bubble wrap?

Ryan: You set the couch on fire.

Delko: In self defense!

Speed: What the hell did the couch ever do to you?

Delko: It doesn't matter, the fire's out. We can undo my hands now.

Carly: Add fire to the list.

Katie: I knew I should have put that there the first time.

Delko: *looks back at jeans* Ah man, it burned a hole right through.

Everyone: EWWWW!

Delko: What? *twirls around* What's wrong with my butt?

Speed: Eric, no one wants to see your ass crack.

Horatio: For God's sake, put on some pants.

Delko: I have pants on.

Katie: They're more like assless chaps now.

Calleigh: Why weren't you wearing any underwear?

Delko: ...Gets itchy.

Speed: I'm going to throw up.

Delko: You know, if I fart, you're all going to be very sorry.

Hospital, 9 pm

Lori: *screaming*

Josh: Breathe, girl, breathe!

Lori: IF YOU TELL ME TO BREATHE AGAIN, I'M GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR EYES AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT SO YOU CAN WATCH YOURSELF CHOKE TO DEATH!

Doctor: Okay you're going to feel a little pressure.

Lori: Oh thanks for informing me! AS IF THE BLINDING PAIN WASN'T FIRST ON MY LIST OF SHITTY THINGS TO SIT THROUGH! THANK GOD YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THE PRESSURE OR I MIGHT HAVE BLOWN A GASKET!

Doctor: You should feel lucky, you're halfway there and it's only been 6 hours.

Lori: *screams*

Josh: Can't you give her something?

Doctor: We did. Lori, can you tell me when your last pregnancy was?

Lori: I'M A LITTLE BUSY WORKING ON THIS ONE!

Doctor: It's just that it could explain the prematurity of this one. I assume they were close together.

Lori: SO!

Doctor: *sigh* Not to mention high levels of stress or being underweight at some point recently. You wouldn't happen to have done any drugs recently...

Lori: NO.

Doctor: Okay good. Just covering the bases. You're a little earlier than we'd like...actually, a lot earlier than we'd like.

Josh: Is there a big problem or something?

Doctor: There's some minor underdevelopment but a couple of weeks in an incubator should hopefully improve things. We want to make sure the lungs are able to function properly.

Lori: I DON'T CARE IF IT HAS 10 FEET, RIP IT OUT. RIGHT NOW.

Doctor: Sorry, we're going to have to let nature take its course for the moment.

Lori: SCREW NATURE! I HATE NATURE! WHEN THIS IS OVER, I'M GONNA KICK YOU IN THE NUTS!

Josh: Lori.

Lori: AND IT STILL WON'T BE ANYTHING COMPARED TO THIS! YOU MEN ARE LAZY PIGS, YOU SHOULD HAVE TO DO THIS! GAH!

Josh: Remember when we talked about breathing?

Lori: *grabs Josh by the collar* Listen here, bub. Y-

Doctor: Lori, we need to get you into surgery. Right now.

Lori: What the hell for?

Doctor: *stands* Nature's not working. *pulls bed railings up*

Hummerhome

Heather: *flicks Delko in the nose*

Delko: *waves hand, snoring*

Heather: *flicks Delko in the nose*

Delko: *waves hand*

Heather: *flicks Delko in the nose*

Delko: *waves hand*

Ryan: *grabs Heather* Knock it off. Let some of us have a turn.

Heather: Sorry.

Anni: *shining flashlight in Eric's face* Oooh you're a disco.

Delko: *mumbles* I am at a disco.

Anni: You're wearing a cocktail dress.

Delko: *mumbles* I am wearing a cocktail dress.

Anni: You forgot to shave your legs this morning ooooh.

Delko: *mumbles* I forgot to shave my legs this morning oooooh.

Speed: Anni.

Anni: What? Just putting him in my worst nightmare is all.

Calleigh: I wonder what Eric's worst nightmare is.

Speed: I'm surprised there's even something going on up there as he's asleep.

Calleigh: Oh Tim.

Heather: I bet his worst nightmare's the Wubba Monster.

Anni: Oooh good one. Okay, we need a setting for him.

Ryan: How about the middle of the woods.

Anni: Perfect. *leans over Eric* You're in the middle of the wooooods.

Delko: *mumbles* I am in the middle of the wooooods.

Anni: Quick, he needs a weapon.

Heather: Rubber chicken.

Ryan: Bazooka Joe bubble gum.

Speed: Diet cola.

Anni: I said a weapon, not random items.

Calleigh: A cross-bow.

Anni: *leans over Eric* You're holding a cross-bow.

Delko: *mumbles* I am holding a cross-bow...am I still wearing the cocktail dress?

Anni: Yes.

Delko: *snores* Okay.

Anni: So, you're stepping lightly through the dark woods wearing your cocktail dress while holding a cross-bow. It's veeeeery quiet and all you can feel is the cool breeze tickling the hairs on the back of your legs.

Speed: Nice touch.

Anni: Thanks. When all of a sudden, you hear a low growling noise.

Delko: *mumbling* I hear a low growling noise.

Anni: You think it's your stomach at first because the team didn't let you eat supper 'cause you burned a hole in your pants but it turns out, the growl is coming from beyond the gathering of trees ahead. You lift the cross-bow, aiming it at the foreign noise.

Delko: *mumbles* I lift the cross-bow at the foreign noise.

Anni: And then out of nowhere, the WUBBA MONSTER APPEARS! *grabs Eric, shakes him* BAAAHHH!

Delko: AHHHHHH! *sits up, screaming*

Everyone: *snickers*

Delko: *wipes drool from face* Whoa, you guys, I just had the worst nightmare.

Speed: Really. We hadn't noticed.

Delko: Oh you should've been there, it was absolutely horrible. So I was standing in the middle of a dark forest, right?

Speed: I think we get the idea of what h-

Delko: And I've got this beautiful woman over one shoulder, holding onto my bulging biceps while in the other hand, I've got a machine gun.

Speed: *lifts brow*

Delko: Suddenly, out of nowhere, Godzilla and King Kong started duking it out right in front of me. So I put the beautiful woman in the tree and started kicking ass. It was amazing.

Speed: I thought you had a nightmare.

Heather: And I don't remember anything about bulging biceps.

Anni: Eric, you were wearing a cocktail dress.

Delko: *wide-eyed* WAS NOT.

Anni: Was too!

Delko: How would you know!

Anni: Because we were the ones who put the dream into your head!

Delko: *gasp* No.

Speed: Yes. Hairy legs and all.

Delko: THAT WAS YOU GUYS?

Katie: *sits up* I hate to be the killjoy of this spectacle but some people are trying to sleep in the middle of the floor and it's a little hard when y'all are screaming and manipulating dreams.

Speed: Sleep in a bedroom.

Katie: I was but Horatio snores too loudly.

Delko: Is that what the growling was?

Miami, hospital, 12am

Josh: How's the baby?

Doctor: She's stable. The cord was wrapped around her neck but we were able to re-establish the proper blood flow to her brain.

Josh: *looks down at incubator*

Doctor: She'll need to be here for a few weeks. Does she have a name that we can put on her chart?

Josh: Not that I know of.

Doctor: Would the mother like to see her?

Josh: I'll go talk to her. Thanks for everything.

Doctor: *nods*

Hospital room

Josh: *sits* How are you feeling?

Lori: Tired.

Josh: Understandable. Did you want me to call anyone for you?

Lori: *frowns* No.

Josh: Do you want to see her?

Lori: No.

Josh: ...I know everything seemed a little fast and it must be difficult to take in at the moment b-

Lori: Why are you still here?

Josh: *blinks*

Lori: *sighs, rubs eyes* I'm sorry. I just...*sigh* you're right, it's a lot to absorb. I didn't mean to snap at you.

Josh: You did well.

Lori: I wish none of it had ever happened. *looks down at lap* I don't want this. I'm not ready for this. Couldn't you just call up those people who take kids away from terrible households?

Josh: Why?

Lori: Because I'm not cut out for this. I-I don't even know what I'm supposed to do. How am I supposed to take care of a child I don't want?

Josh: You're just scared right now, don't worry, it'll work out fine.

Lori: No it won't.

Josh: Come on, why don't we go take a look at her.

Lori: *shakes head* I don't want to. The hospital can have it.

Josh: You mean her.

Lori: Whatever. I don't care.

Josh: I think you need to see her. You should at least take a look at what you supposedly don't want before you just throw her away.

Lori: *angry sigh*

Large room

Josh: *holds door open*

Lori: *walks in* I hope you know I'm never going to forgive you for this.

Josh: Mhm. Right over here.

Lori: No, you know what, I'll just stand over here.

Josh: No. You're going to look at your child.

Lori: *frowns*

Josh: *grabs Lori* Move. Now. She's right here.

Lori: *looks into incubator*

Josh: The doctors were wondering if you had a name for her yet.

Lori: *shakes head*

Josh: Well you have at least a couple weeks to think one up.

Lori: Why's she so little?

Josh: She was a bit early, hon.

Lori: *nods*

Josh: *looks at Lori*

Lori: *staring into incubator*

Josh: You okay?

Lori: *grabs chair, sits*

Josh: Oh...kay. You know, she has your nose. Definitely not your eyes though.

Lori: *stares blankly*

Josh: Still want to give her away?

Baby starts to cry

Lori: *stands*

Chair falls over

Josh: *lifts brows* Guess not.

Lori: What's wrong with her?

Josh: Besides the obvious, nothing.

Lori: Why's she crying?

Josh: They do that.

Lori: Am I allowed to touch her?

Josh: She is yours.

Lori: *reaches through hole, touches Baby's hand*

Baby grabs Lori's finger

Lori: *blinks*

Josh: Hey, she stopped crying. See? You're not so bad at this afterall.

Lori: *pulls hand away*

Josh: She's a fighter, I can tell.

Lori: Yeah well she probably doesn't get that from me. Can I go back to my room now?

Josh: *nods* Sure.

TBC.............................