From the Mouth of High School

[LibertyBell]

In Politics we were having a debate about the afrocentered schools issue here in Canada:
Saghi: So the kids aren't doing well, that doesn't mean the cirriculum needs fixing, the cirriculum is fine. It just means the teachers aren't doing a good job.
Ms. S: Excuse me?

In Creative Writing:
Mr. G: How many of you have parents--
*a kid in the back puts his hand up*
Mr. G: No, really?! I never would have guessed that.

In English:
Mr. B: I need to have you guys do a presentation and an essay in the next two weeks, and have those marks by March 6th. Do you guys know what's happening on March 6th?
Raoul: My friend's birthday?

 

[magicmunchies]

In French:

Mr. G: Back in the olden days the school children used to call their teachers master and mistress, Which in my idea is pretty damn kinky.


In English: (We were doing some random beginning of the year thing where the teacher said two object's and we had to go nearest the one we were most like)
Ms. L: Ball and Bat

*Everyone moves*

Ms. L: Suzie why did you pick bat?

Suzie: Because I have no balls, so I had to be bat

 

[pretty_in_pink]

Science:

Mrs. Ahrens: So, your investigative question is rubbers vs. no rubbers?
Isabeau, Keturah, and I: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Sky: ???
Mrs. Ahrens: Sorry, I've been sitting in on Health classes all week.

***

Mrs. Ahrens: YES! I finally got my Wii set up!!! Now I can play Guitar Hero 3!

 

[Smiliee]

Lexi: I've got a sneeze and it just won't come out! (She starts singing the song I'm coming out.)
Andrew: I'm coming out!
*Everyone in the quiet classroom stares*

In French:

Mme Sleevi: (Giving us examples of what could be on our exam. And okay, we're in French I so it's the really easy and boring basic stuff.) Le frere de ma mere est mon: a. oncle b. pere c. cousin d. soeur
Me: I really hope the brother of your mother is not your father.

(That translates into: The brother of my mother is my: a. uncle b. father c. cousin d. sister)

I don't know why, but that really struck me as funny...

In chem:

Mr. B.: Okay, and does everyone know how a toaster works? You put the toast into the toaster and---
Emily: Mr. B., you don't put toast in a toaster. You put bread in a toaster and the toaster makes toast.
Ashley: Yeah. And why do people say go unthaw some meat. If you unthaw meat you might as well put it back in the freezer.

At a party:

My best friend Sam is dancing...not so nicely with a guy (If you know what I mean)...and they aren't exactly "dancing" to the beat.

Me: Wow.
Lexi: Yeah, I know. It's like a bad Animal Planet movie.

 

[Dawni]

Ok this is more from work than high school but its as stupid as a high school type thing.

Me and mates from work were on break as you do talking. They are twins and lovely girls so fun to here there conversations because they are only 18.

Debbie: we cooked steak the other night it was soo good?
Donna: really
Debbie: yeah but i'm not sure if it was lamb steak or beef steak?

I was silently giggling to myself.

 

[future_cop]

Here is one from a few weeks back

Woman:Is David alright?
Me:No he isn't alright
Emilio:Yeah he has problems
Woman:So he is having issues?
Ms.Helen: David always has an issue.

I found it funny at the time.

 

[miss_blue]

This isn't from the high school but I think it goes well in this thread since it came from the mouth of a very brilliant college boy.

This was at the final exam of Physical Geology. The exam was oral. The teacher was listening to this incredibly dumb guy when he asked this:

Teacher: "If you answer this correctly I will pass you. If you go to Greenland, what does the campus' needle show you?"
Kid: "Uhh...Greenland you say?"
Teacher: "Yes. Need a map?"
Kid: "No...no..I guess I have fifty-fifty chances to answer this correctly"
Teacher: "You'd better have the right answer"
Kid (in a very triumphant voice): "If I went to Greenland the campus' needle would show me the North of the North Pole"

 

[CSI_Dani]

We're all leaving school earlier, which we supposedly couldn't...Mrs. B. is controlling who enters and who leaves:
Msr. B (in her very soft but high pitched voice): Hey kids, but...
Maria: Bye-bye Mrs. B., have a good easter break!
Joana: Hey, and by the way, learn to do something meanwhile, you're paid to work!
Maria: *concerned* Shh, don't say that, if she comes after you...
Everyone: :guffaw:
Joana: Come on Maria, we all know that Mrs. B can't go after no one. She can barely walk normally.
Maria: I hadn't thought of that...

 

[Calihan]

During the middle of physics.

Me: Does any one else want to bash the British today?

In a hall waiting for class to start
(Scott hits me with a stuffed chicken)
(I grab it out of his hands)
Scott: What are you doing?
Me: I'm strangling this chicken
Rudy: Stop with homo erotic comments you two.

 

[vegaslights]

During the middle of physics.

Me: Does any one else want to bash the British today?

In a hall waiting for class to start
(Scott hits me with a stuffed chicken)
(I grab it out of his hands)
Scott: What are you doing?
Me: I'm strangling this chicken
Rudy: Stop with homo erotic comments you two.

I actually find that kind of offensive, as there are British members here, some being really good friends of mine.

 

[magicmunchies]

Emily-Sarah is going out with Jeff

Me-Sarah is going out with Jeff?

Alex (Sitting on other side of the room)-Sarah is going out with Jeff?!

and in Bio:

My friend Jess was asleep, the teacher creeps up in front of the table and slams his palms down really hard.

in my sisters english class

They had to write 5 things they would say to their children, My sister had wrote usual-I hate you etc. Anyway the teacher asked one of the guys and he says

You're a retard and no body likes you

In Maths

Joe the guy who sits behind me in maths had ice hockey after school and therefore had his massive hockey stick. His friend Matthew sits two rows in front and spends the lesson prodding him with it.

And I'm not sure if this counts but I was working at the kindergarten today...

Dave-My Dad went fishing yesterday

Matt-Mine did too

Dave-My dad caught 3 fish

Matt-My dad caught 5 fish

Dave-Well my Dad gutted them

Carys (whos Dad is a surgeon)-Well my Dad guts people

 

[Dawni]

This isn't really high school it actually happened in a club and was my mates 30yr old bf saying it.

The stamp they give you for entering says "arse" and during the night i got it stamped on my arm. and we were stood in out group and he pulls out his phone and takes a picture and goes.

Rob: Look I just took a picture of Dawn's Arse.

 

[Calihan]

During the middle of physics.

Me: Does any one else want to bash the British today?

In a hall waiting for class to start
(Scott hits me with a stuffed chicken)
(I grab it out of his hands)
Scott: What are you doing?
Me: I'm strangling this chicken
Rudy: Stop with homo erotic comments you two.

I actually find that kind of offensive, as there are British members here, some being really good friends of mine.

You know I was goofing around never actually bashed them and if you take the time and look at me through the past I really haven't said anything about any group specifically that there wasn't reason for.

So lighten up and have fun

Deal with it.

 

[magicmunchies]

In Bio-The teacher is really grumpy, and the class is very quiet...

Kaiden-Oi, Marti can I borrow your compass
Me-Um...yeah sure whatever
Teacher-Quiet you lot...
The Class is keeps quiet for about five minutes...
Daniel-OWWWWWWWWWW! Miss Kaiden is playing noughts and crosses on my hand!

In History

Emily-I dig private school guys, they are sooo hot and soooo rich
Me-Ha! I go out with one
Ryan-You guys are racist towards poor people!!!!!!! (Goes around the class telling everyone)
Emily and I are like wtf?!

At this surf survival day, we took some year 10's out to a surf beach as part of DOE (Duke of Edinburgh)

Casey-Right we are going to do some hard out physical education
Ryan-Thats right kids, LET's get physical, a physical

Later that day on the bus....Casey is standing up his arms in the air showing his armpits off for the world to see...


Tiffany-Ewww! WTF are you doing that for?????? No one wants to see your armpit forests...

Casey-I'm just letting these bad boys have an airing before we get back...

 

[LibertyBell]

In English:
Ali: Can we review the vulgar words we're allowed to put in our essays?
Mr. B: Only if we can review the vulgar words I can write on your essays.

In Gym:
Ms. P: Did any of you do exercise over the break?
Aman: I walked from Jack Astor's to Starbucks.

In Creative Writing:
Mr. G: Your papers were actually excellent, especially for a group that looks so stupid.

In English:
*Mr. G comes to the door*
Mr. G: Mr. B, can I borrow a chair?
Mr. B: Yeah, go ahead.
Mr. G: Actually, can I borrow another chair?
Mr. B: Yeah, we've got too many anyway.
*A second Mr. B comes to the door*
Mr. B #2: Mr. B, can I borrow a chair too?
Mr. G: Do you mind if we just take all your chairs and your kids can stand?