From the Mouth of High School

Me and Scott are walking outside

Me: My leg hurts
Scott: You need to beat it
Me: :wtf:
Scott: Your leg you pervert, if you hit it it will release pain reducing endorphins

For the record Scott kicks my leg throughout the afternoon off and on

I finish tightening the arm rests on my chair

Me: Scott touch these babies
Scott: Don't ever say that to me again
Kristen: What
Scott: "Scott touch these babies"
Me: Sorry wasn't thinking

I spent the day working on an English homework assignment writing about discrimination

Me and Scott were talking about what we'd do if we were part of a group being discriminated against.

Scott: Give me an example of a time period and group
Me: Germans in the years surrounding WWI 1917-1920ish
Scott: I'd go back to Germany so I could be a discriminator
Me: Ah discrimination something the Germans know a lot about
 
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Okay, this happened in Drama.

Emily: Scott, Do I look good in this?
Scott: Oh my God, I hate the question. I hate when Girls say that " do I look good in this?" I can't say no if I say no you get offended.
Justin: {stands up in the back of the class} I Know! I hate that one It's a trap then if you say no they get all self conscious and everything. Oh But do you know which one I hate the most, "does this make me look fat" I hate that one that one is the worst. You know what the net time I get that question I'm gonna say you now what yes you do look fat, you look like a cow in that.

It was so funny lol... The way Justin and Scott said everything it was like something from a tv show. or a stand up comedy show. it was great

Apparently our auto's teacher was interviewed by the news one time about global warming and big SUV's and stuff ruining the environment. okay so I think the interview thingy was something like this.

Interview guy: So now that you know SUV's are bad for the environment, will you stop driving your and get a mre efficient vehicle?
Mr L: (looks straight at the camera) I will Drive this car until sparrows fall out of trees
 
One time in my law class we had an officer from the phoenix pd talking to us about one of his routine shops in a rough part of town. To make the story short, what the police officers thought was a stolen car, was actually an elderly person driving slightly recklessly. And when he called dispatch to tell them that the situation was clear and that it was actually an 80 year old man; the dispatch replied back " oh so it's a DWG" or "Driving while Geriatric" and because this one girl in my class is not very intelligent she seriously thought they gave the poor old guy a ticket because he was old.

oh i have plenty with that girl involved, as she is now in my sociolgy class.
 
Exam time in my Edpsych class. The entire class has gotten there early, which is :censored: annoying because I have to jump over people to get to my seat and I got there 8 minutes early precisely to *avoid* having to do that. But I digress.

He hands out the scantron answer sheets and we fill out all of the info: name, course, date, ID number, section, yadda yadda yadda. Dr. Stevens gets everyone's attention and announces: "You may begin!"

...of course, the salient point is that we had the answer sheets but no actual test. Oops.
 
At lunch we were talking about the new claims the Pavarotti lip synced at the 2006 Olympics.

Ms S: Pavarotti was an opera tenor who sung at the 2006
winter olympics

Me: No he didn't

Most of the people did laugh at how I said it
 
I'm on holiday so this probably doesn't count but I didn't know where else to put this.

I was at a cresh as part of DOE community service, and I had just had hockey practice and the gear stinks afterwards. anyway...this kid comes up and sort have sniffs my elbow and says bluntly "Your elbow smells" It was sooo funny, but sort of random. I wonder if hes like a chronic elbow sniffer.
 
A couple weekends ago, me and two buddies had to do a film of "Macbeth". This is the result:

C's Dad: Whaddya want for lunch?
Me: I'm up for anything, but not Asian.
D (who is asian): Oh yeah, well guess what? I don't want Irish food!
Me: I'm not Irish!
D: Damn.

*camera rolling*
C: OK, say the line.
Me: Ma -
C: No wait, wait... dammit!
Me: *growls* MacBETH?

C's Dad: Go. Just, go. Die.
C: OK. *feigns death*
Me & D: *pokes him with sticks*
 
We were talking about nuclear bombs in history...

Z: "...I kind of feel like blowing up Mars."
Me: "Sweet. This saturday?"
Z: "Yeah man. I'll get the bombs."
Me: "Kay, sweet."
Z: "Hey C..."
Me: "Z and I are blowing up Mars this weekend. Want to join us?"
C: "...YES!"
Z: "...Maybe we should go to outerspace and then blow up Earth?"
Me: "...and then live on Mars."
Z: "Yesss."
Me: "Okay, C, change of plans. We're going to outerspace, blowing up Earth and then living on Mars."
C: :lol:
Me: "It's like, 'hey want to hang out this weekend?' 'Oh, let me check my schedule... sorry, can't. Busy blowing up Earth.'"
Z: "You know, just busy doing the usual... blowing up planets and such."

*later*

Z: "Next we can blow up Pluto. No one likes it anyways."
Me: "I agree. It's not even a planet. It's a dwarf."

---

Also in history class:

Teacher: "Today we were supposed to have a new girl from Nova Scotia in our class. I don't know where she is..."
C: "Nova Scotia!? I wonder if she had a whale for a pet."
Class: "..."

*later in the hall*

Me: "That's M from Nova Scotia by the way. She's not in our history class anymore, though."
C: "Oh! That's her!? So does she have a pet whale?"
Me: "Why don't you ask her? Be like, 'hey, I'm C and I was wondering if you had a pet whale?'"
C: >.>

You had to be there for it to be funny. But my history class is so amusing. Half the time we aren't even talking about history. :p
 
Hahah. Funny thread.

Okay, so my school has this thing called "lock down." When the alarm sounds we all have to go sit somewhere that is not visbible from the windows. So of course the alarm rings when I am in gym, and we are using the weight room. The weight room is in the basement of our school, and it has no windows.

Our teacher says to hide in a corner, then he turns off the lights. We are supposed to be quiet, but like the sophomores that we are, we are loud and giggly. Then Mr. Dramatic, my gym teacher says,

"You guys know that I care about you. If there was a real intruder here and you were behaving well, I would give everything I have to protect you. But if you are talking, I might have to let you die."

He said that in the most serious tone you've ever heard. It was ridiculous...and hilarious. It only made us laugh more.
 
I'm actually out of high school (college freshmen), but there are just some great quotes that one can never forget.

This was on the first day of Sex Ed:

Ms. Z: "And toward the end of the marking period, I'm going to give you an STD."

She was talking about a paper that we were going to have to do on a specific STD, but it just came out sounding so wrong.

And then once we had our STD, we had to go around the room and say our names along with what one we had.

Me: "Hi. I'm Marissa, and I have oral herpes."

I could barely keep a straight face. It was like an STD Anonymous meeting, but not.

I've got one more:

Lauren: "Hi. I'm Lauren, and I have pubic lice."
Ms. Z: [throws hands up in the air] "BINGO! That's my favorite!"

...It was definitely one of my most interesting classes of all time.
 
English

Our teacher was about to read The Most Dangerous Game to us and she had only told us the title.

Me: Is it an autobiography of a Russian Roulette addict?
Mike: Is it going to be more boring then Lynyrd Skynyrd after the plane crash?

In history we ended up talking about the Government's justification for the Patriot Act and I was saying how people theorize that the US government was behind it.

Mike: I doubt it only because it worked.
 
Happened at work today not school but i thought was close enough in my case at work.

*me sat trying to attach the shake syrup to the machine*
Me: Dimirty can you come help?
D: Yeah sure what
Me: Can u push this in i'm not strong enough
*stands there and does it*
Me: It kept getting harder and harder to do and i couldnt get it in
Dimitry *walks off* NOO Seriously Don't say that.

Dirty minded people :lol:

Then 2 seconds later

Me: I was worse other week spilt the stuff all down my legs and was sticky all day
Dimirty: WHY just WHY did you say that.
 
Rissarose, you reminded me of my health class.

We had sex ed with this super handsome, 24 year old teacher. He couldn't be serious about anything. So we had to watch this movie about sex, and when it got to the part with the sperm my teacher said, "We should name them and place bets on which one wins the race."

Then he started saying, "go,go,go." It was so inappropriate...and great!
 
We are studying 19th century France in history, one day my teacher was talking about the horrible conditions peasnats have to live with and he said:

"The people were thinking 'God, it's not fair that we have to put up with all of these terrible condition...' Well in french obviously... It was in France after-all!"

That had me and my best friend in fits of the giggles... :lol:
 
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