From the Mouth of High School

well in math class not to long ago we had a question about a guy named Johnny who paints his living room floor. we had to find out how much paint he needed etc...

Anyway we all were going WTF? who paints there floor!

so a couple days ago were in science theres me Dylan and Sheldon. And both of them are in my math class. And there was a conversation and it went something like this.

Sheldon is rambling on about the human torch
Dylan: You know Sheldon the human torch doesn't exist.
Me: Uh yes he does, he's my cousin.
Dylan: Your cousin is Johnny?
Me: yeah my cousin is Johnny, and he paints his floor.

I got a laugh out of them, because they understood it though lol, the other kids round weren't in our math class.

And in English class not too long ago we had to go around in a circle and each individual person would add to this fairytale when it was your turn, this is a grade 9 class to so imagine the minds of some of the kids, any way so far we had a princess and some other stuff.so it came around to Will...

Will: Then she gave birth out of wedlock and became a crack addicted whore.

Me: Why are you telling stories about me Will!
 
I have the coolest English teacher.

Zoya: Mr. Freeborn, Hamlet is kind of emo isn't he?
Mr. Freeborn: Hamlet is the origional Emo.

Mr. Freeborn: This play is one of Shakespeare's longest plays, mostly because Hamlet doesn't shut up.

Mr. Freeborn: We were supposed to start reading today, but seeing as I never shut up we can't and I'm gonna keep on talking.

Mr. Freeborn: this play is directed by Kenneth Branagh, who also plays Hamlet pretty well.
Zoya: he was also Lockheart in the Harry Potter movies!
Mr. Freeborn: um...yeah.

Physics:
Ms. Genert: you guys are amusing, I'll admit it, but eventually you have to shut up and learn something.

Riley: oh! Oh! I know! Pick me! Pick me!
Ms. Genert: aparently Riley knows the answer.
Me: So do I, but I'm not jumping on me seat.

Ms. Genert: next, Melissa and Marissa...try saying that five times fast.
 
What if we still let all the sex talk away? I know it happens a lot at school and yes, it can be fun but. Still. Has mentioned somewhere before.
 
I'm at University so have less of those sort of moments but when I do they are normally special.

Robin (Internet games lecture about physics):- Basically if you understand it great... if not don't worry just pretend you do.

At school I always remember teh classics:-

Miss Haynes:- What does that say Henry?
Henry:- *grins*Se..x
Miss Haynes:- Well done now say sex 5 times

^She wanted to let him get it out his system.

Sam:- (To our german teacher) Yes Dad
 
In Law we were doing the final copy of our concept map, and we were using permanent markers and trying to make it look nice and all that.
Simon: Hurry up!
Me: Don't rush her!
Hedyeh: Yeah, don't rush a genius
Simon: I wouldn't if I saw one

We realized we needed a black pen to do the smaller words because the marker smudged them, but none of us had a black pen, so we went to the door of the classroom (we were working in the hall):
Me: Does anybody have a black pen?
The noise dwindles down and everybody stares at us
Me: Anybody?
Simon: We'll give you ten bucks for one!
Me: We're not gonna PAY THEM for a stupid pen, Simon!

In Families, me and my two group members were meeting with the teacher to discuss our upcoming seminar, in which we have to play a game with the class. My teacher suggested the Peanut Butter game. You know, where you blindfold someone and somebody else has to instruct them on how to make a peanut butter sandwich? Well, she wanted us to use that game, but we were concerned about peanut allergies:
Ms. B: Is anybody allergic to peanuts?
Class stops what they're doing. We hear a few confused and quiet, "Uh..no"s.
Me: That must have only made sense to the four people here.

In World History my teacher says that she was going to show us video clip, but another teacher (Ms. Faerge) took the TV, even thought Ms. P had it signed out.
Sasha: I'm gonna go yell at Faerge
Ms. P: No! She's sweet, don't do that
Sasha is already heading out the door, dragging Jesse with her, who btw, is not even in our class
Sasha: So what?! It wasn't hers to take! Grrrr....
Ms. P: Fine Sasha, go burn off that testosterone
A minute later, Sasha appears in the doorway again
Sasha: I do not have excess testosterone!
That conversation continued throughout the whole class, and there were diagrams invovled, but eventually we saw the video clip.

Later in that class Pedersen comes back in and announces that Matthew admitted to her that he smokes. This prompted a discussion that another kid somehow got brought into:
Sasha: Someone would have to help Donald smoke. He would probably smoke the wrong end of the cigarette
If you knew Donald that would be ten times funnier

And finally, also in World History (I have no idea why it was such a funny class today, I usually hate it). Ms. P sent Aron to get her some tea at Tim's:
Ms. P: Aron, this isn't decaf
Class, as spurred by Brett: Oooooo
Ms. P: What? It doesn't matter
Aron: I can get you another one
Ms. P: No, not unless you want to, it's not really important
Eventually Aron gets up to get her a decaf tea
Ms. P: Wait, take this with you *extends cup*
Aron: Why?
Ms. P: Because then you won't have to pay for another one, they'll replace it for free
Duh.

Oh wait, I lied. One more. Pedersen leaves the room (again):
Jesse: Let's lock her out!
Me: She has the key, genius
 
Musical Theatre (this was a couple weeks ago, but still..)
There's a girl in my class who is very very black, not to be racist, but it's an important point to make.
Mr. E: Everyone, Sina has a confession to make.
Sina: I do?
Mr. E: You do.
Sina: Why?
Mr. E: Because I said so.
Sina: okay...*looks at her feet* okay, everyone. My confession is...I love white people. *burst out laughing*
(Sina eventually confessed to smoking, but her random I love white people amused me)

English:
Jen: Oh my god, Hamlet wasn't like 'Oh, I want to kill myself' today!
Me: No, he was more like, 'I want to kill everyone else' today.

Jen: Hamlet is fairly observent.
Mr. F: He's a pretty clever guy.
Jen: But not really that intelligent.
Mr. F: You could say that.

Me: Mr. Freeborn, if we translate Polonius's 'words of wisdom' will you put them up in the class?
Mr. F: Only because everyone needs Polonius's words of wisdom.
Me: Including, Don't be a Hypocrite?
Mr. F: Especially don't be a hypocrite.
Zoya: He says that?
Mr. F: No. But he is one, so it's implied.
 
Formulating a list of junk food
Ms B: Okay, we have chocolate, chips, pop, what are we missing?
Sara: Ice cream
Ms B: But that's therapy

This girl comes up and gives Simon a soft tap on the behind. Yes, she knows him.
Simon: What was that?
Girl: It was a love tap
Simon: What's a love tap?
Girl: What I just did
Girl walks away
Me: You're so lost right now, aren't you?
Simon: Yeah, what's a love tap?!
Hedyeh approaches
Hedyeh: Your hair looks darker
Me: That's because...it is
Hedyeh: Oh
Simon: What's a love tap?!
Me: It was an accident though!
Hedyeh: How do you accidentally dye your hair?
Simon: What's a love tap?!
Me: It was supposed to be a medium brown, but then when I was dying it it was turning red, so I washed it out, and it turned black
Hedyeh: That's why you shouldn't do it yourself. The last time I tried that my hair ended up blue and green
Simon: What's a love tap?!
Me: Yeah, but my mom hates when I do that because it's so expensive
Hedyeh: I'll give you the number of the lady I go to. She's really good and really cheap
Simon never got an answer to his question

Flavia is fingering her lip when I approach
Me: What's wrong with your lip?
Flavia *removes her hand* Nothing
Me: Oh, it just looked like there was the way you were holding it
Flavia: Oh *goes back to holding it*
Me: That's attractive
Flavia: Yeah. Chelsea, would you be my friend if I walked around like this? *indicates how she's holding her lip*
Chelsea: No.
 
I got a good but weird one.
two days ago in art I
Mrs.V:if you know what you doing then go ahead and listen to music and tune me out while I help the class.
Me:Micheal Jackson always gets me in a painting mood.

I was talking about the old Micheal Jackson you know thriller...
I've got tons of random quotes.
 
Okay, now I've got a folder with covers...I'm so happy!

Monday, December 3, 2007

Algebra

-Blake E: If I knock myself out, will I get d-hall for sleeping?
-Mrs Perry: Yes.
-Blake G: What if I knock him out?
-Mrs Perry: Then he'll get d-hall for sleeping, and you'll get d-hall for knocking him out...and it'll be alot quieter in here because you'll both be in trouble.
-Blake E: It'll be quieter in here because I'm knocked out.

[Blake E, Matt C, Jon G and Kaleb T are gathered around Jeremiah S clapping]
-Me: We're clapping! Why are we clapping?
-Dustin E: I don't know, but they're gathered around Jeremiah.
[Blake E grabs Jeremiah S's head]
-Kaleb T: Jeremiah really wishes he had a plasma sword.
-Jeremiah S: Or something like that.

Biology

-Josh F: Have any of y'all seen Mrs Free's house?...It's huge!
-Dustin H: I've shot her house.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Algebra

-Mrs Perry: You'll have to memorize it, like you memorized how to count to ten.
-Matt C: I never did that.
-Jeremiah S: One, two, three, golf...

-Mrs Perry: If you're Brooke, you wrote your notes on the back of your examples sheet.
-Kaleb T: If you're like Kaleb, you're writing your notes on your desk.

-Mrs Perry: You have a test Thursday.
-Jon G: We have a game Thursday.
-Blake E: We leave at 7:30.
-Jon G: It's in West Memphis.
-Anthony M: It's a tournament.
-Jon G: Actually, the game is Friday.
-Blake G: We're staying the night...in Fayetteville.
(for the record, Fayetteville and West Memphis are on opposite sides of the state and our school is nowhere near either of them, and there was no game we played in there)

-Mrs Perry: I have a question-
-Blake E: And I'm sure you have the answer and we don't.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Algebra

-Jon G: Mrs Perry! The heater says it will kill me when I'm not expecting it! It says, 'Hssss. Shhhh. Sssst.'.
-Mrs Perry: Oh.
-Jon G: Nevermind, now it's whispering, 'I love you.'.

Biology

[Charlee S has just read off a list of names that will be exempt from testing and refers to herself as 'me'.]
-Me: Pleasae clarify who 'me' is.
-Charlee S: Me. Charlee S.
-Me: Well, you never know. It could've been me!
-Erin L: It could've been me!
-Buster H: It could've been me!
-Josh F: It could'nt've been me!
-Taylor K: I wish it would've been me!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Algebra

[Turning in our papers we wrote using the word 'deracinate']
-Kayla W: I wrote about a little girl named Georgia wh was deracinated from the playground.
-Dustin E: I wrote about a farmer who deracinates his crops.
-Blake E: I wrote about the deracination of the Native Americans...I did not take this seriously.
-Me: I wrote about why it's bad to deracinate plants, animals and people...mine reads like a science text.

-Mrs Perry: Here's the deal, I had a long talk with myself...and it was a scary talk, too, because I answered.

-Mrs Perry: I was awake at 5:30 doing Turbo Jam!...I came home from church last Sunday and saw an infomercial that I shouldn't have watched, because by the end of it I had spent $70 on CD's that promised to get me fit and in shape.
-Blake E: Do you just listen to them or do you have to do what they say?
-Mrs Perry: I guess you have to do it...that's the pits...

-Blake E: Me, Jon and Kaleb showered together this morning!
-Mrs Perry: Well, I guess it beats going all the way home-
-Matt C: Showering with another dude?!
-Blake E: Two other dudes!

-Blake E: Jon, you 'bleep' me...this is bull...
-Mrs Perry: Bleep!
-Blake E: (Throws paper at Jon G) What happeded to my 'bleep', Jon.
-Kayla W: -it!...I'm with ya, Blake!

Biology
[Mrs Douglas is focusing a microscope, then stands back and rubs her temples]
-Mrs Douglas: Whoo. I'm getting drunk...or should I say dizzy.
-Me: ...Yes...
 
Lee-anne said something and I whacked her with my empty water bottle for it. She then hit me on the head with her hand.
Lee-anne: That didn't even hurt
Me: It hurt me!
Lee-anne: I have a high threshold for pain
Chelsea: I don't
Me: Me neither
Tamesh: Did you just say threshold or fresh mold?
So delayed. And I would like to point out that 'threshold' is not even the right word. The word she meant was 'tolerance'.

We're doing a debate in which my group is the Bloc Quebecois, a political party that only runs in Quebec, but it's federal.
Hedyeh: You know what Quebec is? I'll give you my little analogy of Quebec. Quebec is like Daddy's little girl. She only comes around when she wants something. She doesn't care about anybody else, she just exists to manipulate her father into giving her stuff. Like me.

Different class, but nonetheless a debate. This one is about WW1 and the revolutionaries and stuff.
Phil: It's like taking somebody's TV away from them, there's gonna be an uprising because they want their TV back
Alyssa: Oh come on! I'm not gonna revolt because I can't watch Grey's Anatomy

Same class, different debate (I'm making it seem like that's all we do in class, aren't I?). This one's about WW2.
Ms. P: What about the theory that the USSR was to blame for the start of the war? Do you guys agree with that?
Sasha: I don't think Russia is to blame. (Everyone starts to snicker) It's not because I'm Russian!

There was this thing called Coffeehouse, in which kids get to perform songs (lots of bands show up).
Connie: And next we have [so-and-so. Sorry, forgot the name] singing Knocking on Heaven's Door by GunsNRoses.
She leaves the stage, so-and-so peforms. But Jacob, who's in a band coming up whispers something to Connie. At the end of the song she goes back up
Connie: Apparently it's not a GunsNRoses song, it's by Bob Dylan

I do have a couple more but I don't think I'll post them. Some, although funny, weren't things even I wanted to hear, so I don't think I'll subject anyone else to them.
 
okay I love my Art teacher.
We are in an online charter school and even the teachers teach from home so she says random things on a daily basis I got a few today.

Mrs.V-My husband thinks because I'm home we can chat every single time he calls...but I have to explain that I'm still working.

Another one
Mrs V to Jacob-"I wanna see yours with the red face."

Justin and Mrs.V:(now I have no clue what Justin was saying but I got a good Idea.Now she was a minute late to class)
Justin:"Your late again"
Mrs.V"I know I'm sorry Justin I know." pause " "I can see it Justin sitting there tapping his watch"

Mrs.V:"I never got into any of the CSI's shows on T.v"
Me:"well if you can escape a hummer being exploded with out a scratch then you would like Miami"
Mrs.V:"No kidding _____(my name not telling) Only on t.v"


another CSi related one.I did a paint thing with David caruso

Mrsv:"____ everyone wants to know who the guy is putting on the sunglasses.
Me:"Horatio Caine,David Caruso from CSI:miami"
Geneva:"Oh that guy..."
 
Gosh, so many from the last couple days...

In the cafeteria:
Phil: Why do you think that girl that sits next to Sasha doesn't like me?
Me: Alyssa? She doesn't not like you, why would you think that?
Phil: Because she's always giving me this look...never mind, it's hard to explain. I just don't think she likes me.
Me: I thought Sasha was the one giving you a hard time. Wasn't she yelling at you about something yesterday?
Phil: Oh, that. No, she was trying to come up with a list of things that start with 'Phil'.

From the law debate previously mentioned, where I was a part of the Bloc Quebecois. I'm just gonna refer to everyone by who they were playing, because as pathetic as it sounds, I don't know all of my classmates names:
Green party member: (to us) The province you guys represent has made it clear that it isn't going to separate anytime soon, they want to be a part of Canadian politics, so maybe you should stop talking about Quebec as a separate nation.
NDP party leader: Okay, you know what? Quebec has tried and failed miserably to separate from Canada, twice. That's pathetic enough, so let's not pick on them.
Me: Gee, thanks.

Prime Minister (Conservative party leader): Let's not debate whether or not the elected Senators would be competent enough for the positions. You have to be smart to reach high levels of government.
Bloc leader (not me): Um, Mr. Prime Minister, are you familiar with President Bush?

My teacher was playing the Governor General and picked when people talked:
Ms. S: (warily)...Mr. Layton?
NDP leader (Layton): Why do you say it like that?

Hedyeh: ...So what do you think, does that sound good?
Me: Huh, uh...yeah, sounds good.
Hedyeh: Were you even listening to me?
Me: No.

The debate lasted two days. First day:
Hania (Bloc leader): Now I don't have a chair to sit on.
Ms. S swoops in and finds her one.
Second day:
Hania: *looks around, finding no chairs* This is not happening again.

The Liberals lost power to the Conservatives because of a scandal that involved them using money a way they shouldn't have been:
Liberal member: What I'm having a problem with in your proposal, Mr. Prime Minister is how much it's going to cost the taxpayer.
PM: I can understand that you're having difficulty with the financial aspect of it, Mr. Duffey.

Now in Families. A group was setting up for a power point presentation. Not many people know how to set up the machine:
Sam D: Alright, if this blows up, it's not my fault.

Sam F: I hate presentations!
Hilary: I know, I'm gonna be shaking the whole time, I won't be able to read the paper. That's why I'm actually wearing my glasses.
Sam F: You wear glasses?
Hilary: Supposed to.

Sam D: There's a glare on the TV.
Hilary: Can the blinds be put down?
Ms. B: Don, put the blinds down.
Don starts to pull on the string
Ms. B: Don, that's up.

The day before in Families, at the beginning of class:
Hilary: Ms. B, Sam's at the dentist.
Ms. B: That's nice, I hope she comes back with clean teeth.

There are tons from the Law debate I'm forgetting...it's too bad because that thing was really funny.
 
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