English class Rudy: I have peanut butter on my pants. Right before my friend said this next quote we were talking about the play Death of a Salsman which we're going to read in class, and we were talking about the main character who often fantasizees/daydreams about his rich brother. Rudy: Wow, my fantasys are very different.
AP Chem Amanda: Stop hitting my hand with that pencil or I'll shove it up your nose. Laura: Go ahead, it's Jeff's pencil. Casey: You can drink once you get to Mexico. Once you get back on the cruise boat, you can't drink legally anymore. Nick: Did you just say "cruise boat"? What kind of hick are you?! Amanda: Danny's real name is Yun? And his last name is Chang? Yun Chang? That's just about as Asian of a name as King Tut! Me: King Tut was Egyptian.
Science -Buster: I'm gonna pass...this test! I'm gonna pass...this test! -Sandra: I'm gonna hit...Buster! I'm gonna hit...Buster! -Mrs. L: Just because you dye your hair blonde doesn't mean you have to act like one. -Dustin: Do you know how many people are on my hit list right now? You do not want to be on that list. -Josh: I put Hy for Hydrogen! -Mrs. L: You would. Geometry -Blake: Confiscate Shane's hat! He has an answer key in it! -Mrs. B: I need your tests back. -Matt: I already wrote dirty words on it. English -Mrs. F: I can't even talk about football...Does anyone have a few hundred dollars I can borrow?...I guess that's what I get for being a Bears fan. History -Kayla: What does the name Tristan remind you of? -Ms. G: I dunno...Scotland? -Kayla: It reminds me of a Triscut. -Sara: I was gonna say that but I didn't want to sound stupid. Oral Comm. -Principal over the Intercom: Teachers, please excuse the interruption... -Mrs. F: Interruption? We're supposed to be teaching? -Mrs. F: I love it when they buy alcohol, then we don't have to waste our money...we just go confiscate it.
AP Biology Natasha: *Sitting next to me sniffing white out for nearly 10 minutes of the class* Me: Nat, what the heck are you doing? Natasha: Smelling white out. Me: WHy? Natasha: Cause its fun *Sniff* Me: *reaches over and takes whiteout, puts cap on and throws it away, then quotes CSI Miami* ARE YOU stuck on stupid? Natasha: Huh? Me: YOu really are stuck on stupid...
Algebra. Mr C. In college I majored in Math and Psycology Scott: So you were a nerd then Mr C. Pretty much, I just loved learning Scott: In high scholl were you in either the chess club or math club? Mr C. No I ran Scott: From who Government In class we were talking about the Presidental cabinet and our teacher looked up who was in George Bush's cabinet on the White House website. Mr D. I didn't realize how many women were in George Bush's cabinet. Me. Yeah I'd expect this more during the Clinton administration. For this next quote our teacher was telling us our assignment for after our field trip to the John F. Kennedy library on Tuesday. He gave a list of options for what we wanted to write about. His mistake with what he said while telling us this one, was pretty unintentionally hilarious. Mr D. You can write about JFK's life before during and after his Presidency. Me. What life after his Presidency?
Science -Jordan: (about the...ummm...town? Walker is from) Population?...There's a store up ahead, that's about it. Geometry -John: That is not a NASCAR track, that wasa city street! -Blake: When I get in office...as mayor- -Kelsey: Ohhh God. Lord, help us all. -Matt: That last Target Test we took I wrote my name and drew smiley faces in the bubbles...this time it's gonna be just the same. -Matt: That is awesome. I wish I had a screen like that. So whenever I don't want to look at you I can pull it down...I'm gonna get a big cardboard box and walk around in it. -Evan: It's like BINGO! -David: Evan, how is it like BINGO? -Evan: Becaouse you never know what you're gonna get next. -Mrs. B: This better not be a 'what if' question. -Blake: It's not, it's a 'why' question. How come you don't use those angles? -Mrs. B: Because those angles are always going to be the same. -Matt: But, what if there's a cow in the room? -Matt: Can you point to where the issue is? -Blake: Yeah. *Points to the board with our notes on it* -Matt: Very good. History -Brittany: Who you gonna kill? -Ms. G: I'm not gonna kill anyone...not worth my effort. Spanish *We were throwing markers at each other and reading answers aloud and playing hangman...and just generally creating chaos* -Maggie: Shut the door, people are looking at us like we're weird.
English Mr. S: So We're reading romeo and juliet. Kell: Is that the one with leo dicapprio? Me: Wow Kell, that doesn't say something. Detention Teacher: Do you wanna stay later? Random Kid: As Long As I'm with you, i'll stay forever. Teacher: I'm flattered but i dont feel like going to prison.
Thsi was from a couple weeks ago, but I didn't think to add it here until recently. Mr C. The staff pretty much treat you the same way you treat us Scott: Is it even legal to treat us like that?
Socials Sub: I'm pretty good at math, give me two three-digit numbers, and I'll add them really fast Derrick: 99 times 99 Sub: ADD, I said ADD. *makes + with fingers* not mulitply *makes x with fingers*. And I said THREE-digits, not TWO! LOL It was kinda harsh though.
on the way back from a school trip in belgium, in calais abbi - this port looks different from dover phoebe - thats because its on the other side abbi
Mandy: Mr. F, your my favorite sub, Mr. F: Thanks Mandy, it means a lot to me. Mandy: Well would it crush your world if i was kidding? Reading Romeo and Juliet. Mr S.: So you have to put a little bit of "UMPH" into your kiss is what she's saying. Kay: One of the things you never want to hear your teacher say.
Diggin' through the Dork-Quote Archives and I found these from earlier this month... Science -Mrs. L: I think you've messed up your chemicals with your other chemical use. -Jeremiah: Is there a differance in the spelling of lie as in 'lie down' and lie as in 'the sky is green'? -Shane: A paragraph has 4 or 5 sentances. I wrote 4 or 5 sentances. -Mrs. L: Maybe 4 or 5 sentance fragments. -James: You ever hear the story bout how Maggie got her lip bit off by a turtle? She was kissin' it. -Dustin: They were frenchin' and CHOMP! -Walker: It got some tongue, too. -Walker: I wish my name was like Joshua...Walker-a. -Jordan: How am I supposed to make fun of Maggie in the dark? -Josh: I always put the same things, cheerleading and military. Geometry -Evan: I present the radiant, the fantastic, Miss Kelsey. -Blake: What? Where? Is there a new girl here named Kelsey? -Shelby: Radicals...that just sounds scary. -Matt: Hurp hurp hurp hurp hurp, here's where you run it into the ground, math teacher! English -Mrs. F: If you don't set down you'll have to work. -Tony: Oooooh! I wanna work! -Emily: Keenen, do you have a lil' cap'n in you? -Keenen: I wish. History -Ms. G: Here's how I'll be nice to you...caouse we all know that doesn't happen often. -Josh: Sometimes. -Ms. G: I have my moments. -Ty: You're my favorite aunt. -Ms. G: You don't count. Spanish -Mrs. H: Did they call you? -Tommy: Yeah, I'm going home. -Maggie: First he calls the teacher fat, then he gets to go home! -Josh: No, first he called the teacher a fat guy. -Ms. H: Jordan, do you know -no, I know you don't. Be quiet means don't talk. -Maggie: Why don't you just let us go out and run around in the snow? -Ms. H: No, I'd get in trouble. -Maggie: Why don't youlet us go out and pick up trash...in the snow? -Ms. H: No...Very creative, though. Oral Comm. -Mrs. F: If I think that I can hear you then you'll have to work. -David: But if you think that you know- -Mrs. F: I can hear you! -Mrs. F: Maybe if I take my glasses off. Oh! Now I can't see you!...I like this. -Jeremiah: One day he'll be talkin' to us over the inter com and you'll hear the door open and he'll say, 'Hey, what're you doin' here? Why do you have that cattle prod?' then you'll hear his screams and the intercom'll go off. -Alan: Sierra, who was the 42nd president? -Sierra: Oh, that's almost the last one and he's that Bush-guy. -Mrs. F: Nose goes first in the balloon experiment. -Nose: What's the balloon experiment? -Mrs. F: Don't worry about it. -David: May I have some helium. These are the new ones. Science -Josh: Sandra could be a man for a day. -Buster: She already is! -Walker: You wish you were! -Taylor: I walked into the Valentine's party at the church and there were candles lit on the table...then she walked in with like 60 McDonald's hamburgers. -Walker: Gawlee! How much hair gel did you use this mornin'?! -Buster: Not much... -Walker: His hair's as stiff as a freakin' rock! Geometry -Mrs. B: It's snowing! -Evan: Kaleb thought it was ashes. -Matt: Kaleb's retarded. Wha'd he think, there was a volcano around here? -Evan: If I have a boy I'm gonna name him Evander. -David: Why? -Evan: Because it has Evan and -der in it. -Mrs. B: I'm going to a math conferance- -Matt: Math conferance! Math conferance! Yay! It's nerd-central!...Were you on the math team in high school? Like, the Math-kateers? [FCCLA was having a scavenger hunt to find they're logos hidden across school for prizes] -Evan: What do FCCLA emblems look like?...There's one! No, wait, that's a cat.
Geometry -Sierra: Shane, if you do a little in this class this year you'll be really smart next year...in this class. -Shane: I've got a 24%! -David: Shane, just shut up. -Walker: Just set there and smile. -Blake: Maybe she'll give you a grade on that. ... -Matt: Shane, I bet $50 you won't have a D by the time school's out. -Shane: I know I won't. -Mrs. B: Shane! It's $50! You've got 4 100 point tests before the year's over! -John: Are you encouraging a bet? -Mrs. B: Yes, I am! -Matt: I was at the Coke machine and Miers walked in and was like 'You in here?' and I said 'Yup.' and put my money in. She siad, 'That's a d-hall.' and I said 'Okay.' and pressed the button and nothing came out. Free walked in and said, 'You in here?' and I said 'Yup.' and kept pressing the button. She said, 'That's a d-hall.' and I said 'Okay.' and my drinks came out. Then I picked up my food and walked past 'em and said, 'I'll see you guys tomarrow.'. Oral Comm. -Nose: You got it! -Mrs. F: Okay. -Nose: You got it! -Mrs. F: Yes. -Nose: You got it! -Mrs. F: Shut up. -Nose: There's your fanny pack. -Mrs. F: That's not a fanny pack, it doesn't go around your fanny. -Nose: She said 'fanny'! -Mrs. F: We're going to go and steal one of Mt Vernon's buses because it has air conditioning. Does anyone in here know how to hot wire a bus? -Jesse: Yeah. -Mrs. F: But we'll bring spray paint to cover up 'Mt Vernon Schools' on the side of it, so that it's not too obvious what we've done. -Norm: Paint 'Church Bus' on the side. -Nose: 'Living for God' -Mrs. F: And burning in hell very shortly thereafter. -Mrs. F: Does an one know the proper way to gain entrance to my room? -Jesse: Knock. -Jeremiah: Break through the glass and reach for the knob? -Mrs. F: ...and there were people taking pictures of me. -David: Did they ask you to autograph them, Cher?
English Me: Woohoo, I'm getting a 56 in this class Laura: It's official, you have the highest grade in the class. Me: Mr. S, I'm doing better in spanish than english. i think i'm going to quit english and move to Mexico. Mr. S: Goodbye and Good Riddance.
French Class Me: I thought you were going to play matchmaker with me and the guy i like today? Kat: I will, when we walk out of the classroom with him. Me: What are you going to say? Kat: I don't know yet.. Me: Kat! Kat: It's not like I'm going to say your name while you're right there. *BELL RINGS* (me, kat and guy i like is walking down hall) Kat: So *BLAH BLAH BLAH* Guy: Yeah... *BLAH BLAH BLAH* *my friend walks up* Alyssa: SARA! Me: ALYSSA! *we walk slightly behind kat & guy* *guy goes straight down hall, we turn down stairs* *Kat is laughing her head off* Alyssa: what? WHAT? Kat: Nothing! Alyssa: Sara? Me: Nothing! *Alyssa walks away* Kat: I didn't make that obvious AT ALL. Me: What did you say? Kat: Well as we were walking I told him that he should ask someone out. Me: Yeah. Kat: Then he asked 'What?' and then while turning I said 'ASK SARA OUT' . Me: *mouth open* Great.. this will be awkward. Kat: What? Me: My next two classes are with him.