American History honors Mr. F- So who covered their notebook like I asked? *I raise my hand* Mr. F- Let's see it. Well it looks great. Was it hard to tape all this on with the packaging tape? Me- Well, I'm pretty retarted as it is, but no it was pretty easy. Mr. F- Well there we have it class, even a retard can do it. Mr. F- I have an almost 2 year old, and 8 year old and two twins who are 6. They were a two-for-one deal. Mr. F- I don't like cans of soda in my classroom, or soda at all. Keep it to water only. If you want soda keep it in a uh *he points* That, what's your name? Kasey- Thur-mos? Mr. F- So what item that you own represents you most Josh? Josh- My Xbox because it's big and bulky and plays games and sits in front of a TV all day. AP Chemistry Matt- I can not wait to get this cast off my leg, you have no idea what it feels like to get hit by a truck. Me- Unfortunetly, you're still here to tell us. Liz- I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy. Kasey- She probably did something slutty. Mrs. P- Let's not talk about those things. Me- Mrs. P has very sensitive ears. Mrs. P- It's not that, I just don't want to relive my experience. Kasey- Thank you, very much.
Erm - what if we would keep things more... How I'd put that... clean and do not go to comments like that. Yes, high school and stuff is said but I know there's lots and lots of stuff what I've said back in those days and those wouldn't go under PG-13. Alrighty? - - - Back in Upper Secondary School ( you are 17-19 when you are there) we had religion teacher who could have really strange comments. I was one of those who were picked on, because teacher knew I take those with humour. Me: [laughing in back corner for some own stuff and too much caffein] Teacher: [explains something] ...and Sanna did you forget to take your medication this morning? Me: *lauging and nodding* Teacher: Those pink pills, right? Man, you have to remember better. ReligionTeacher: [talking about pregnancy] "H-M, let's assume you are pregnant..... well I don't know - are you?" H-M: ....n-n-n-n-o :lol: Religion teacher: Sanna, what is 'a legend'? ... And don't say a beer! (one beerbrand is "Legend") Me: Uhh.... I'm sorry but beer is the only thing that comes to my mind at the moment (it was 8:30 ) Swedish class on 2nd course We were translating text line by line. One line/sutdent. Teacher: M, the next line M: Sorry, I don't know Teacher: [to the guy behind M] Well H, you translate it H: Sorry, I counted that I'll get the next line so I don't know this one Teacher: What? [looks at the whole class].... Do you all count what line you'll get? whole classrooms looks up to celing or just stares desk :lol:
Science -Jeremiah: I'll think of something...something that's not Buster. -Brandon: If we were being chased by a bear, I would so leave you behind. Dustin: Okay, so we know never to get chased by a bear with Brandon. -Me: If it explodes, we'll get covered in hot, boiling water. Jeremiah: And then we'll get covered in hot, boiling Buster because it'll explode on him. Geometry -Mrs. B: It was the 80's, we all had big hair. Blake: It's kinda hot... -Matt: She's like a female Michael Jackson...only not many little boys'd say no. Blake: Yeah, do you own an amusement park? Micah: An amusement park? Sierra: He's calling you Mickey Mouse. Micah: Oh! Matt: Mickey Mouse? We're going completely different directions with this. Blake: Neverland Ranch, hun. NEVERLAND RANCH. -Mrs. B (To Sam): Aren't you glad you moved seats? Matt: I'm not that bad! David: I'll switch seats with her! Mrs. B: No, David, you are not setting closer to Matt. Matt: Yeah! David! David! Come ova heah!!! -Evan: At my wedding I'll probably walk out to It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time by the Buckwheat Boys. English -Mrs. F: When all else fails, unplug the stupid thing and try again. -Mrs. F: My computer's making weird noises, if it shuts down I'm running out of the room screaming. -Mrs. F (reading the almanac): Hmmmm...prostitution... Tyler (to an earlier question): I'll do it! Mrs. F: Is he offering to do prostitution?...No one is interested! -Mrs. F: If he was in the bar why did he return to Maycomb? Why didn't he stick around for a few drinks? -Mrs. F (to her projector): You make me sick...I hate you. -Mrs. F: Just close your mouth for a while. You're starting to annoy me. -Mrs. F: I'm related to Keenen, but I won't admit it. Keenen: Well, there you go...Hey! Wait, you just did! Mrs. F: You're a little slow today, I'm worried about you. -Keenen: Who's Dill? Like, is it a girl or a boy? Emily: It's a pickle. History -Ms G: Josh, do you have something to say to me? Josh: I'm shutting up and letting you talk. Ms G: Right. Oral Comm -Laci: They're going to prom and Kyle is picking out her dress. Mrs. F: Is Kyle wearing the dress? David: I am! -Mrs. F (about her projector again): MY LIFELINE!!! -Jon: Can I go to the potty? Lunch -Christy: I'm having a perverted moment, leave me alone. -Shelby: We should leave. Christy: Yeah, but I'm too lazy. Spanish -Taylor: Who's Cecil? Maggie: It was his pet turtle that died when he was little. James: No, it didn't Maggie: What happened to him then? James: He ran away. Maggie and Taylor laugh James: You laugh, but I'm bein' serious. -Maggie: I had a pet turtle when I was little. It was a snapping turtle, but I didn't know it until I tried to kiss it. It bit my upper lip off.
Softball Coach- Damn, that kid just got hit in the face. Michelle- Our first day out here and a kid is already hit, nice going coach! Corey- Dude, that kid's gonna have a lace imprints on his face for weeks! American History Honors Mr. F- Where's your work? Kasey- I was absent Friday. Mr. F- Oh yea. Hey what the Hell is that? Kasey- Chemistry. *He wwalks away shaking his head* Kasey- I love the no cursing rule we have. Mr. F- How many states are in the United States? Brian- 52 Mr. F- See, that's why us Americans fail our own citizenship test. TA Sam- See that girl? I asked her out, and we're dating now. Me- What a catch. Sam- Yes, I know, better than catching you! Mrs. M- What's half of 18? John- 6 Mrs. M- plus 3. John- How can plus 3 be half of 18? Me- How can 6? Mrs. M- STOP! The answer is 9! AP Chemistry Kasey- What's in our American History notebook? Laura- A bunch of stuff. Kasey- What's in our American History notebook? Me- A bunch of papers. Kasey- You guys totally suck.
Okay, I know this is a lot, but I've skipped a few days of posting so give me a break! Science -Me: I'm trying to make Buster feel guilty. Jeremiah: Buster, you killed a baby. Buster: Really? -Jeremiah: Oh, Buster, you accidentally...sewed your hood to the front of your neck! -Mrs. L: I'll be right back. Jeremiah: Don't get hit by a bus! Me: Bus! Bus! Bus! Bus! -Buster: He's eating a Twinkie!!! -Jeremiah: Awww sweet! I wanna see boiling Kool-Aid! -Jeremiah: Mmmmmm...butter. -Josh: What if you can't spell the word? Mrs. L: Then you're stupid. Jeremiah: I'm suing you for discrimination! -Buster: I have chest wall syndrome. Mrs. L: Whatis that? Buster: I don't know...I'm special! Mrs. L: Well, now we have your excuse. -Jeremiah: I'm bringing a jar of ozone. I've got a pile of it behind my house...This is O3... -(Car honks outside) Jeremiah: Huh!Uh!Wah!Uh!Hu! Josh: Sudden noises scare Jeremiah. -Mrs. L: Walker's just a mean person. Me: But he always seranades you on quiz bowl trips. Mrs. L: That's true, I do love his singing. Geometry -Blake: Becaouse, Matt, this is geometry. You're not supposed to get it. When you start to get it you've got to move on. Matt: What? -Blake: Is that a pregnant woman thing? Mrs. B: No, it's an old cheerleader thing...You can hear my hips pop. Blake: Ewww, that's gross. -Blake: When you're pregnant does the baby really break dance inside of you? 'Cause that commercial freaks me out. -Blake: My mom'd say, 'All my other kids are failure, why can't you let him be?'. -Blake: Shane, think about what you're going to do with your life...Would you like fries with that? Matt: (Sarcastically because Matt works at Burger King) Ha ha ha. Shelby: You don't work at McDonald's. Blake: Yeah, you work at Burger King. Matt's got a song written about him. 'I work at Burger King making flame-broiled Whoppers!.. David: Ding! Fries are done! -Blake: Booty-head! Emilee:What? David: You heard him! -Blake: You know what's cool? You know what's cool? You know what's cool? Mrs. B: What? Blake: This makes me want to kill myself. Mrs. B: (shrugs) Okay. -Blake: Why don't you talk about me like I'm not here? ... Mrs. B: Blake, shut up! Now I'm talking to you like you're here. -Matt: See, that's how Blake is. He's always making fun of Murphy, but one day they'll be together. -Mrs. B: Maybe you should do your homework together before the morning it's due. McKinley: But Shelby's not with me at night! Matt: And if she was we'd make fun of them. -Blake: To KFC!!! English -Mrs. F: How many of you are immune to imaginative literature?...For those of you who are asleep we'll raise or hands for you. Kayla! Sam! Sam: Huh? Mrs. F: Almost. Mrs. F: When I was 13 I knew it all. When I was 16 I realized that I didn't know it all at 13 but I sure as heck did now. Whan I was 18 everyone was stupid but I knew everything. When I was 21 I knw everything, unlike when I was 13, 16 or 18. Now I'm 35 and I realize that I don't know anything and I don't mind being ignorant. Tony: Amen! -Josh: Look, it's Elvis! Mrs. F: No, I left him in the car. -Mrs. F: I don't know what you are all doing, if it's legal or illegal, but you really should stop. Mrs. F: You ever do that to your parents?...You like my sister better than me!...You like my brother better than me!...You like total strangers better than you like me! You treat me like total crap! -Mrs. F: First Grade! This is why I don't teach elementary school. Because I read 'To Kill A Mockingbird' and I said, Uh-unh!' There ain't no way I'm teachin' first grade! -Victoria: Nobody sets behind Tony. Tony: I set behind Tony! -Josh: Ummmm...somebody broke it... Mrs. F: In my head? Josh: No...well, yeah, that too, but I ment the projector. -Keenen: I still don't like that teacher. Sara: You mean Mrs. Free? Keenen: No...well... Mrs. Free: Don't worry, it's a mutual hatred. -Josh: Keenen, climb up there and plug those cords into your ears then look at the screen and the image'll show up. History -Ms. G: There will be no Tag in my room. Once you come through my door no one's 'it', you're all neutral. JoshL: Like base. Ms. G: More like Switzerland. -Kodie: Do you have any good movies that you can show us in here? Ms. G: Maybe later in the boo...good movies? No, probably not. Oral Comm. -Nose: Tell, everybody to shut up. Mrs. F: Shut up! Nose: Tell 'em again. Mrs. F: Again! -Alan: You know who's got my vote for president? The Reverend Al Sharpton...He's a genious! -Mrs. F: Evidnece! You have to have evidence! It can't just be because I say so and I'm Alan! -Mrs. F: Is critical care good? David: Critical...bad...critical...good?...English teacher? -Mrs. F: Everyday's a free day in Mrs. Free's class! Aaron: I hate it when she says that. -Sierra: Kyle dropped a 250 pound heavy thing. -Mrs. F: WALKER!!!! Alan: Walker, you are in trouble. Mrs. F: Your dad said I looked like Cher! He came up to the concession stand last night looking for the teacher who looks like Cher...So I don't know what you've been telling him... Aaron: (in a 'baby' voice) Look, mommy, it's Cher! -Courtney: Look at what you do Mrs. Free! Mrs. F: I know! Nose: Mrs. Free broke Alan and Brittney up! Mrs. F: I'm so sorry!!! I know!!!...But he's so hot... Enjoy :lol:
*Laughing* These are so funny. This was me and my friends walking between buildings at school a few days ago. Sarah: I need a hair cut. Alice: Ok random, where did that come from. Sarah: well it's because the wind is making my hair all messy, and it reminded me that i need a hair cut. Alice: I've got a blister. Sarah: Yeah ok, and that's NOT random? Alice: Well it's just because we are walking, i remembered that i have a blister on my little toe. Me: ok, can't we just agree that you are both really strange. Alice: Us!!! You're a vegetarian.
Science -Walker: You look pretty today, Mrs. L. Mrs. L: Thank you, Walker, you're a very nice suck up. -Mrs. L: What is the symbol for Boron? Maggie: What? Mrs. L: Boron. Maggie: Oh, I thought she said moron. -Mrs. L: Does anyone know where we get our water from? Me: A pond full of fish? Jeremiah: If this is Arkansas, then probably a lake infested with beaver parasites. Mrs. L: Actually I think our city water comes from the river. Do you know who uses the water before us? Me: Fish! Charlee: Animals? Mrs. L: Actually, the city up the river pumps their water from the river then dumps their waste water back into the river that we get our water from. Me: Ewww. Wouldn't you hate to live at the end of the river? -Mrs. L: Tap water is full of microorganisms... Jeremiah: I bet the vegitarians don't know that. 'I'm drinking what?!' Me: Ahhhhh!!! Jeremiah: I bet they had children, too. -Brittany: Magic School Bus! Jeremiah: Magic Death Bus! -Jeremiah: That's a bad day in anyone's book. 'I got evaporated today.' -Jeremiah: I wish they'd land and get licked up by a dog and end up on a fire hydrant...Magic School Bus: The Unrated Edition Geometry -Matt: You need to call him what some other school's band director called me, Chris and Ben. We were being stupid and he came by and said, 'Cut that out you bunch of dippy-doos.' -Blake: She holds him down and beats him with a wet stick. David: Why does it matter if it's wet? -Mrs. B: I did that one for you. Blake: So that's why I got that one right! -Matt: My dad's got this new thing. Whenever I do something stupid he holds his hand out and says, 'Slap yourself.'. -Matt: I put multi-racial on the ACT exams. Blake: Black, Asian, Indian, South...eastern...native...white. -Matt: Tha Nicorette gum does no good if you shove the whole pack of it in your mouth. -McKinley (Who is a girl): Blake, you're no longer funny. Blake: Well, your face is always funny. McKinley: You look like a girl. Blake: Well, you are a....man! -Mrs. B: Sierra, what's your grade in Spanish? Becaouse that sounded like Chinese. -Matt: See all my notes in this handy-dandy notebook? They're all spread out and covered in doodles. Like this one says 'Matt' and 'Tard' and here's some lyrics and 'Giggle Ha Ha' and 'Simple'. Mrs. B: You are such a guy. English -Mrs. F: When I was 5, some old guy in a cafe popped out his bottom dentures at me...Scared me to death...I was screaming. -Mrs. F: Jeff, go get beat. Emily: Can you paddle a pregnant person? Mrs. F: Jeff is pregnant? History -Kodie: G, next time you see my dad ask him to do the Tatonka thing for you. Ms. G: Tatonka? Josh: It's an African table dance. Spanish --Here's some background info to get these. Most of the girls in my class are in Family and Consumer Sciences class and are having to take care of these little robot babies that have to be fed and have their diapers changed and they wail like crazy. Maggie and Brittany got rid of theirs earlier on this day and Charlee and Sandra were carring them home tonight.-- -Maggie: I've got a problem...I can still hear those babies! -Maggie: Put the diaper on it's head. Sandra: No! That's cheating! James: Shake it! Maggie: Prop the bottle up with the blanket. ... Mrs. H: You saved the day, Maggie. Maggie: That's what you learn when you're out in public and can't put the diaper on its head. -Brittany: If you lock it in the closet you can't hear it.
Science -Jeremiah: I like setting water on fire. Me: You have trouble with physics. Jeremiah: Yay!!! -(Still got those stinkin' babies...) Jeremiah: Sandra must've hit her baby is the head with a hammer 'cause it hasn't cried yet. -Charlee: My mom's always told me to shake my soda once before I open it. Does that make it more or less flat? Jeremiah: I think she's just trying to get you covered in soda. -Jeremiah: Pizza is the most scientific food...we use it for so many metaphors. -Brittany: Can you see a laser through milk? Mrs. L: Yeah. Jeremiah: That's awesome! -Mrs. L: How could you seperate sugar and sand? Jeremiah: Taste it? -Buster: You made a funny. Jeremiah: It's true. -Jeremiah: If I got a mortar and pestle my parents would start worring about me...as if they don't already. Geometry -Matt: When my mom was pregnant with me she ate ice cubes dipped in mustard. -McKinley: Once they wrote Mrs. Whitehead's name in the announcements as a bad word. Mrs. B: Yeah. McKinley: Mrs. Poophead. Sierra: Only it wasn't poop. -John: You know how you got it wrong? Mrs. B: How? John: You listened to me. -Mrs. B: What are you doing? Blake: I'm talking to Mrs. R. She says she's naming her kid after me. Mrs. B: When you're a teacher it's hard to name your kid...but it won't be Blake. English -Mrs. F: You look like someone off The Matrix with your sunglasses and hair like that....Set down, Neo! Josh: Don't take the red pill! -Keenen: Ha ha! He's in he's undypants! -Keenen: Whup! Can't be no nudists in this town. Tony: Did I miss something? -Sara: What's that in your left-handed pocket? -Keenen: Now he can't talk to Boo. Mrs. F: Who? Keenen: Boo. Mrs. F: Is that like the hick scare? Keenen: Huh? Mrs. F: (imitating Keenen's extremely thick Arkansan accent) Bo-oo. Josh: Like, 'Ra-wer'. Oral Comm -Walker: I like your shirt. Mrs. F: Thanks, it's one of my old costumes. From back in the day when I sang with Sonny. -Mrs. F: What does a rebuttal speech do? Alan: It rebutts. Mrs. F: What does rebutt mean? Nose: Like your chin rechins, your butt rebutts. -Mrs. F: Did you hear about the 81 year old woman who was stuck in the bathtub for 3 days? Alan: Was she wrinkley? Mrs. Free: They said there was no lasting damage so I wonder if she was smooth. She had to have been pretty wrinkled before. I mean, come off it! I'm 35 and I've got wrinkles, she was 81! RARE!! Band -Seth: FAST!!! Man! That was like warp speed through space!!! Spanish -Jordan: But it's another language! Mrs. H: You picked up on that, that's good. -Shelby: I had these headphones and I chewed on the wires, now when I use them they make this weird crackling noise and then they shock me...it's painful... -Mrs. H: Diego... James (Who's 'Spanish name' is Diego): Aw hel...eck! ... Mrs. H: Diego... James: Aww... Mrs. H: Don't cuss!
TA Mrs. M- *with her back turned on the class she hears paper being crumbled* If I finmd that being thrown across the room... Sam- It's a paper bag being rolled up. *I laugh* Mrs. M- Something funny ma'am? Am. History Honors Mr. F- Who knows why people were worried about JFK being Catholic and a president? Brian- People thought he was going to ask the Pope for help and stuff. Mr. F- Right, they thought JFK was gonna pick up his Pope Phone and call 1800Collect. Mr. F- Here's an example of diversity you kids might understand. Over here we've got "Starbucks" and over here we've got "Dunkin Donuts". At Starbucks, they've got those funky sizes that only true followers say. When I walk in a want a Small, so I say small. People look at me funny cause I'm not dressed like a typical Starbucks person, I don't have a laptop, and by golly, I'm old! I'd much rather be in Dunkin Donuts eatin' sugar with people who wont give me funny looks. AP chem Nick: I swear I turned in that paper. Mrs. P is going nuts. Me: She's turning into Dana here... forgetful. Nick: And cenial. *Teacher gives him a look* Me: She's got her baby on her mind leave her alone. Nick: Whoa! I was talking about Dana! I meant Dana is cenial, not you Mrs. P. Laura: Nick, you better go check your grade now. Amanda: Nice job suck up.
Science -Mrs. L: How do they find quarks?...They smash atoms together! -Jeremiah: Good ol' atom smashin'! -Dustin: What's a metaloid? -Shane: I don't know, but it sounds cool. Geometry -Matt: She's, like, super pregnant. -Mrs. B: Who? -Matt: Coach. She's past pregnant, so she's super pregnant. -Matt: Last night I woke up because I heard a BANG! and I realized I had headbutted the wall. -Mrs. B: Braxton (Her 2 year old son) does that, too. We just grab his legs and pull him back. -Matt: I don't think anyone in my house is big enough to do that to me. -Blake: You're not taking the ACT. You're going to end up as a greater. -David: Hello. Welcome to Wal-Mart. -Blake: We'll just go run down to the Dollar Store. -Mrs. B: No one's going to the Dollar Store. -John: We're responsible! Blake'll drive! We'll take your car! -Evan: I got a missed call, fellas! -Stephanie: She didn't hear it ring, Evan. -Evan: OH CRAP!!! -McKinley: If the teacher doesn't stop class, then you don't admit it, Evan! -Kelsey: Retard! -David: We've got to sing Happy Birthday to Franklin Roosevelt. -I sing: Franklin Roosevelt, president who? Helps us win in World War Two! History -Kayla: Jeff's not skipping. -Ms. G: Awww. -Jeff: If you want me to leave then I will. -Ms. G: No, that's okay. -Sierra: I can't wait to eat Mexican Chicken! -Kayla: I finished color-coding my closet. Band -Charlee: You have feathers on your back. -Tyler: I know. -Charlee: It's bugging me. -Me: He can't help it if he's turning into a bird...it's genetic. -Tyler: I'm de-molting. -Mr. M: We have a new motto in here, band, 'Tune it or die'. a -Seth: What about bacon? -Josh: I love bacon! -Seth: Me, too!
American History Honors Mr. F: Okay so we have 25 representatives and 2 senators we have how many people in congress? *class is silent* Mr. F: 25 + 2 is? Anyone? Me: Today it's 27. Mr. F: Thank you Rach. Softball Me: Those are some shiny Nike's. Jay: Yea, I know, I use my Windex to shine 'em up. *pretends to spritz windex*
ART Mrs. G: For those of you who will not be in jail tomorrow, we will be printmaking. EARTH SCIENCE Me: Conduction a hot body radiates heat, making anything that touches it conduct the heat. Kevin: I'm a hot body. Do I radiate heat? *Kevin is waving his hand over my paper so that I can't write.* Me: Get your hand off of my paper right now or I will rip it from your body. Brian: That was scary... GEOMETRY Steve: You have to find the T! I'm telling you, I can solve a Rubik's cube in thirty seconds if I could just find the T! Alexis: What if there is no T? Steve: ... LATIN Mr. P: I want you all to do well on your midterms, that's why I'm helping you and giving you this packet. Then I will by partially responsible when you get a good grade, and then when your parents reward you with Playstation games for your good grades you will in turn lend those games to me. Because, you know, I helped you get that good grade.
Science -Dustin: The Bohr Model. What kind of model are you? -Josh: Sexy. -(Maggie's cell phone goes off and the ringtone is 'Barbie Girl') -Brandon: Buster?! Geometry -Blake: Would you say that the reason there is conflict in my family because we're all overachievers? -Mrs. B: No. English -Sara: I'm so white, I'm red and white! My eyes are blue! I'm like the 4th of July all year long! Oral Comm -Alan: I'm gonna job shadow the mayor...She'll have to take me out to lunch. I mean, she's the mayor, she's gotta eat big, like Chili's or something. -Courtney: She'll probably take you to McDonald's...eat off the Dollar Menu. -David: You can have three items off the Dollar Menu. Band -Mr. M: Trumpets, you sound like drunk, old men. Spanish -Josh: What color is the pink sheet? -Josh: That's like Buster asking where babies come from. -Buster: Where do they come from?! -Jeremiah:...cookinbookin.... -Shelby: What did he say? -Me: He's making dirty referances. -Buster: I make a funny! -Buster: I'm gonna jump off a cliff with a paraglider. -Me: You'll have to invent it first. -Buster: No, it's already been invented. -Me: No, the parasail and hangglider have already been invented. Not the paraglider. -Buster: I'll invite one. -Me: You'll invite one? -Buster: Yeah, and it'll be a kickin' party without you!
Kay: Did you watch the superbowl? Mr. C: No, I watched the puppy bowl, i have the whole thing on DVD, you can borrow it if you want to.