ART: Me saying in a wisper voice: Mr.W is such an ass Mr.W: Jessica!(gives me a deadly look) Me: What?! MR.W:you know what! Me: I just said ASS!! (whole class starts to laugh) Mr.WShakes head, Laughs) ENGLISH Me: Walking past Mr.H's French room when Miss.H gets her student to sing happy birthday to Mr.H from down the hall. I pretend to tie my shoe and wait for them to be done. when they finish, i run in front of the French room door. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. HOPKINS!!! Then I run outside into portable one and continue on. My friend heather and amy who are in the French class both shouted my name and Miss.H's class and Mr.C's class start to sing happy birthday to me because they thought it was mine too. It was not my birthday is in August... it was a good day
In the History class: We were doing our self-evaluation from this term, and the teacher said: "So, someone has anything to add, comments or suggestions?" And we said: "Yeah, bye bye teacher" as we walked out of the classroom even without permission The teacher was like when she saw our reaction, but then laughed.
Oh, if you want dumb stuff written in various places this was from Oral Comm. -Walker: Why do you have 'delinquent' and 'alcohol' written on your calendar? -Mrs. F: Because sometimes students ask me to spell words and I need a visual. -Walker: Spell fetus. -Mrs. F: F-E-T-U-S. I can spell that, my ADD mind can handle that but once you get past 5 or 6 letters it's like '...did I say that already?'.
Government In class I was showing my teacher and the other student in class a website that I found where you run your own nation. The site is nationstates.net, but if you google it, it comes up as Jennifer government. I should also explain that my friends tease me mercilessly because I'm single and also am a typical teen with my mind almost always on women. Scott: I bet you only joined the site because of the name Jennifer. Me: I need a motto for my country I talk kind of fast and sometimes slurred which it makes it tough to understand me sometimes. Scott: You need a model for your country? Me: If I needed a model I would happily be looking Scott: Your mind really is always in the gutter, by model I didn't mean a woman to act as a model. Me: You know me, and you really thought I wouldn't be thinking woman. Later in class we were using the web to do some research This quote was about an add on his computer Scott: I'm not paying for virus protection Me: You think it should be free? Scott: Everything on the internet should be free Me: I agree that everything should be free, but I'm usually not thinking about virus protection. Me: You know
Biology Mr. F: The first Earth rocks were here 3.6 BYA. Mike: Oh my gosh, that's almost as long as Ms. G's been around. Me: No, I think she's been here since the big bang. Mr. F: I'm 32, and she tought me freshman algebra. Algebra Goose: Look the gym classes are running outside. *Entire class stares out the window for 5 min* Ms. G: You guys act like you've never seen someone run. Me: As a matter of fact, I hadn't. Thanks for ruining this timeless moment for me. Me: Can we make up the quiz? Ms. G: No. *10 minutes later* Goose: Can we make up the quiz? Ms. G: Once Again, No. *10 more minutes later* Ms. G: So quarter grades are gonna be entered soon. Me & Goose: So does that mean we can make up the quiz now? Spanish Mr. F: I don't feel like teaching today. So we're going to watch some old school Shakira music videos.
Science -Josh: We need a classroom pet...Buster. -Maggie: I am not touching him! -Josh: Would you rather have a rat? -Maggie: Yes. -Jeremiah: Are we going to have to stick our hands into anything dangerous? -Mrs. L:...Only you. -Mrs. L: H2S is also toxic and it has a cumulative effect, which means by the end of the day, I'll be a blooming 'tard. ... -Dustin: Will you please explain to Buster what a 'tard is? -Mrs. L: Buster, stand up. -Buster: (Stands up) I'm a 'tard! -Maggie: Can we throw stuff at him? *Mrs. R really had a baby and everyone was talking about it. -Buster: They tried to trick me and tell me that Mrs. R had her baby. -Mrs. L: They are mean people Buster. They lie to you and tell you things. Don't listen to them, Buster, she didn't have a baby, she had a rabbit. English -Bama: I can take it out of my pocket without me even knowing. -Mrs. F: 2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate?! Cinquain! -Mrs. F: They had beards because they drink beer...let this be a lesson to all of you girls to not drink beer. -Kayla: Really? -Mrs. F: Yes, Kayla, that's why you have to shave daily. -Mrs. F: This poem is supposed to be shaped like a flame. -Me: I see a vase. -Mrs. F: Yeah. -Emily: I see a giraffe. -Mrs. F: You do not see a giraffe, shut up, strange child! -Emily: Yes, I do! -Mrs. F: It looks more like a pinguin than a giraffe, you weird child. Did you never go to a zoo? History -Sierra: Mrs. F, can I ask you a question? -Mrs. F: Yes, you already have. -Sierra: Can I ask you another question. -Mrs. F: You just did. -Sierra: Can I ask you another different question after the one I'm asking you right now? -Mrs. F: Is this as amusing to you? -Ms. G: At this point, it is. Oral Comm. -Alan: They should sell those candy bars all year long. -Mrs. F: FBLA? -Alan: Yeah, they'd make a killing. -Mrs. F: Yeah, I'd be so huge... -Mrs. F: I had a Motley Crue shirt in high school that I had to wear a jacket over because the lunchroom ladies turned me in. -Alan: What was on it? -Mrs. F: It said, 'F-#-*-K the Rest'. -Alan: What did Rose (The former principal) say? -Mrs. F: He asked what it said and I said fork...He actually said, 'Do you know what that means?' and I said, 'It could mean fork,' and he just left mumbling something like, 'Have sone self respect...It was my brief shot at being cool.
At lunch we were talking about Tom Delay. Rudy: The way he always smiles, he looks like the guy in a viagra commercial.
Science -Mrs. L: This is what I use to get back at bad students. -Jordan: A crescent wrench? -Mrs. L: Yeah. If you hit 'em good at the base of the skull, you get rid of them...Wanna see? -Jordan: Take a hard swing. -Walker: Chihuahuas Gone Wild!....'I was attacked by a rabid chihuahua'...It's eyes were red! -Shane: We should make a scary movie called 'The Pole', where it takes everybody's tongues. English -Mrs. F: Genius. -Tony: Thank you. -Mrs. F: Litote! Litote! -Keenen: Retard! -Mrs. F: Hey! No bulling, genius. Oral Comm. -David: Cookie Butt? Is that a fat joke? -Laci: Mrs. F, did you know that if you say someone's name over and over it gets really annoying? -Mrs. F: Laci. -Laci: Mrs. F. -Mrs. F: Laci. -Laci: Mrs. F. -Mrs. F: Laci. -Laci: Mrs. F. -Me: AHHHHH!!! *(About Jeremiah miming) -Mrs. F: What is he doing? -David: He's on drugs. -Mrs. F: (Laughs) This is Jeremiah...This is Jeremiah on drugs. -Jon: Can a hamster and a mouse have a baby? -Mrs. F: I don't know or care to know. -Jon: 'Cause I want to breed them. -Mrs. F: That's disgusting.
At my table in English we got our vocabulary tests back, I got 94, my friend Mary got 96, and the two others at my table got 91 and 92. Then my other friend Jennie, who got 99, came over to our table. Me: Jennie, why are you at our table? Ms. F: She's boasting.
Spanish Mr. F- Well this is a test on conjugation. Mel- Can we use the sheet of conjugations? Mr. F- Uhm, No. Reading Mr. M- Well everyone has choosen a topic that reflects them. Me- Mr M, are you implying that I drink? Mr. M- Are you saying you don't? Me- Yes, and quite frankly, I'm offended... Wanna come to our kegger this weekend? Gym Ms. S- Mike's having an off-day. *to Trina* Me- TRINA! I kicked the crap out of Mike.. he freakin sucks. Ms. S- That's the truth. Mike- Dude, Today is the best day I've had all week. English Me & Missy were singing N*SYNC. Mr. S- Wow, Nick Lachey. Us- MR. S! go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not confuse N*SYNC and Nick Lachey.
Science -Me: Is it weird to put on glasses and listen to Elton John?... -Erin: Ummm... -Me: And then take them off and listen to Akon? -Maggie: You listen to Akon?! -Brittany: I hate school! That's why I'm gonna drop out! -Mrs. L: Yeah! Way to go! Live under a bridge! -Mrs. L: Professional housepainters- -Josh: I'm a pro! -Mrs. L: Do you use respirators? -Josh: Only when we spray. -Mrs. L: So we should understand your brain damage and love you anyway -Josh: I don't spray... I don't feel like messing up a multi-million dollar house...until I'm older. -Mrs. L: Josh, since you're so excited we'll let you read. Let's see if you can still read. (Josh reads pieces of it were like...) -Josh: 90 M-L...What's M-L? -Walker: Milliliters! ... -Josh: 90 g's...Which is grams! -Walker: Where did you get grams? My book says milliliters....You skipped like half a paragraph! -Mrs. L: Respirators aren't too expensive you know. ... -Josh: ...mass of solute in a litter of solution... ... -Mrs. L: In a...what did you call it? Litter? Like puppies?...LITER. Geometry -Mrs. B: Circle the name of your favorite teacher. -John: Hey, Matt, Mrs. M, right? -Matt: Are we voting on who's house to burn down? -John: Hey, Blake, I know you want to, but don't vote for Mrs. H. -Blake: (Sarcastically) Awww, darn. -David: I'm drawing a president! -Mrs. B: You were turned around talking to Matt! -David: You're a bad influence. -Matt: F'real! Everyone who sets in front of me gets in trouble!...I'm just too nice of a guy. -McKinley: And he wasn't even listening to me! -Mrs. B: That's between you and him. -David: Those two secants are touching! That's inappropriate! -Mrs. B: These two angles need names. -Blake: That one's Jerry. -David: Can one be Steve? English -David: She's that fat chick with the black hair. -Victoria: FAT CHICK!!! -Mrs. F: I'm not looking. -Victoria: I'm gonna get up 'n' slap you! -Sara: I can't hear out of my left ear. (Mrs. F yells in Sara's right ear) -Mrs. F: BRING YOUR BIG GREEN LIT-ER-A-TURE BOOK TO-MAR-ROW TO THIRD PER-I-OD IN MRS. L'S ROOM!!! -Emily: Erin went home sick. -Mrs. F: Where's Kayla? -Josh: She went home...she didn't feel good. -Me: Epidemic!!! Bubble!!! -Mrs. F: Rodney, what book do you want to read? -Rodney: It doesn't matter to me. -Mrs. F: It doesn't matter to me, either. -Victoria: Just close your eyes, pick a book and chunk it. History -Ms. G: And why are you late? -Jeff: I had to take a poop. -Ms. G: ... -Jeff: What? I ain't gonna lie to you. -Josh: (About Jeff) At least he's original. -Ms. G: He's never original. He needs to come up with new ways to lie. -Jeff: I just thought of something...I have never seen a black and white cow in Arkansas. -Ms. G: Hmmm. I saw a whole heard of 'em on my road the other day. -Jeff: Really? -Ms. G: Yeah, and they wouldn't move, I honked at 'em and everything. -Jeef: I need to go see them. -Ms. G: That sounds like a good thing for you to do, Jeffery. Wait until, like, 6, so I'll be at home and won't have to see you....Okay, now that we've established that there are black and white cows in Arakansas. Lunch -Amy: You look like the slow dog that everyone feels sorry for. -Me: I'm taking my kibble bowl and leaving! -Christy: Then leave! -Me: She called me a slow dog! -Stephanie: Are you eating styrofoam? -Me:...No...(Yes...)
English Mary (to me): I really like your siganture. Ms. F: It's messed up! You can't read it! Sidney: That's the point. When Lilly's famous and signing autographs she'll be like *makes quick scribbling motion* and be done. Me: Thank you Sidney, I will. As opposed to Mary, who'll take a few minutes for each one trying to get the squiggles on the 'M' just right. Mary: Squiggles? Me: Yeah. If I were you, I'd sign your name like this: *signs* Mary: That said 'MOH' Me and Mary: *burst out laughing*
Gym Ms. S- 3 laps fast. Tyrie- So one lap slow.? English Mr. S- Why are you so frustrated? Me- Well It's 9 in the morning, am I supposed to be happy? Spanish Me- I missed two days of work.. Mr. F- Oh, than you get 6 days to make up the test. Me- Oh.. Is it take-home? Mr. F- Sure, just don't use your notes. Jo- Is he stupid?