Chemistry: Mr.D: So, what do electrons need to get the energy to move up a level? Me<full of the joys of Monday morning>: Lucozade?
Well, it was my first day back after the holidays, so we were a little out there...like... SCIENCE -"I hope you plan on learning because I plan on teaching." "Yeah right! It's not April Fools' Day!"- Mr. Jessie and Brittany -(Maggie is playing with her cell phone instead of writing her report on technological advances)"There's your technological advances, right there!"- Jordan -Buster: Tomorrow's Saturday! Sandra: I'm confused. Tomorrow is Saturday, but today is Monday... Buster: But yesterday wasn't Sunday... GEOMETRY -Kaleb: Evan! Did you sleep in?! Matt: His watch says it's 8. Evan: I thought I was early... -Sierra: Shane's here! Mrs. Butler: Shane's gonna get off to a good start this year, right? Shane shrugs Matt: No. Blake: He already failed last semester, why try...Take my advice, drop out of school and join the Mexican army. -(To Mrs. Butler) Matt: You are WAY too excited about a math problem. Blake: Her eyes are bugging out! Matt: Here's some advice...invest in bingo. -"Well, in English we only have the circles not the box...I guess that's why this is a math clss."- Sierra -Blake: Do you know how I know it was Harriet? Mrs. Butler: How? Blake: Because Jim (choice A) joined the army, Martha (choice B) got killed in a drive-by shooting and William...or Willie (choice D), whatever, joined the Mafia. Mrs. Butler works out the problem and shows why the answer has to be choice C.: Harriet Mrs. Butler: It can't be Willie... Blake: Because Willie joined the...! Sierra: Didn't join the Mafia! -"Even the name strikes fear, 'isoceles trapezoid'."- Evan -Blake: I"m gonna put bottle rockets under your chair and whenever you get a problem wrong we'll shoot one off. Sierra: Oh! I thought you measured THAT line. Blake: (Mimicing bottle rocket shooting off) Buthooom!!! -Mrs. Butler: Everyone got number 5 right. John: What was it? 2+2? Mrs. Butler: Maybe there wasn't a number 5. -Blake: Am I in the Special Ed. class and no body told me? Micah: I thought he said 'milk card' but he said 'meal card'! Blake: Seriously, did someone put me and John in the Special Ed. class without telling us? ENGLISH -(About dressing as a drag queen) KC: Shut up! It's my hobby! Mrs. Free: Wow... -"He sure is making a lot of noise for her not to hear him. Is she deaf? It's kinda like one of those bad murder scenes where you can tell they're really stabbing a tomato."- Keenen IN BETWEEN CLASSES AT THE LOCKERS -Charlee: If I'm late because of you I'm smackin' you in the head! Josh: Well, I hope you're late, 'cause I kinda like getting smacked. HISTORY -Ms. G: What did you just say? Jeff: God...bless America...it's a good thing...to say. -Kayla: Hey, G, when you get done with your computer will you yell at me? Ms. G: Ummmmm...yeah. I've got more, but my dad needs the computer...so tomorrow.
TEACHER: Shane, what's that? SHANE: That would be CSI, Ms. [insert techer here] TEACHER: C-S-I? SHANE: Glad to know you educated with pronounciation. :lol: I'm a smart allic with the teachers I like.
In Geometry class: "It just doesn't feel like Friday." "It's Thursday, Steve." Girl: "Tell me if this is a stupid question or not, Miss ---." Teacher: "There are no stupid questions." Girl: "I asked my world geography teacher if Mount Rushmore is natural. That's not stupid, is it?" Teacher: "Yeah, it kind of is." In English class: "You're just walking SparkNotes, aren't you?" In Latin class: "Put your iPods away, you can't have them out until the end of class. Remember, one day iPods will enslave us all." Announement: "May I have your attention please-" Teacher: "No!" *throws tissue box at PA system* In Marching Band: Director: "Look at all the pretty blue flags the colorguard got for the show!" *everyone stands to admire flags* Director, moments later: "Joe! Stop looking at the sky and look at the drum major!" Joe: "But the flags are so pretty..." *driving in a town far away from us to a competition* Trumpet player: "Wow, everyone in this town has the exact same car..." *pauses* "Oh wait, that's a car dealership!" In art class: "This line has more waves than the frickin' ocean!"
SCIENCE -Dustin opens the stapler and it shoots a stick of staples across the room Dustin: ...Well, that was cool. Buster: Maybe it'd work better with staples in it. -Dustin: Why do you have a Lightning McQueen pen? Brandon: Because Lighting McQueen is a pimp. -Hannah: You need to go to American Idol so I can laugh at you. Sarah: No! Hannah: And they always put the ones who suck really bad on TV, so everyone would see you...You should dance, too. -Mrs. Louks: What state of matter is this desk in? Josh: Wood! -Mrs. Louks: This table is actually frozen... Me: So you could melt wood? Mrs. Louks: Yes... Jeremiah: Sweet! Liquid wood! -Buster: She's got a knife! Mrs. Louks: Yes, and I will be asking you for blood donations later. -Mrs. Louks: You wouldn't want to use a bimetal strip on a building. Because what would happen when it got hot? Jeremiah: You'd have modern art. -Jeremiah: I had no idea I was going to blacksmith class to day. -Jeremiah...again: Smelt something! GEOMETRY -Blake: Yeah, I could never keep a little kid. I'd be like, you see that old lady walking with a cane? Yeah? Go kick it out from under her. -Mrs. Butler: This is easy...I say hesitantly because no sooner than I say that you'll say, 'You said this was easy.'. Blake: You said this was easy! -Mrs. Butler: Write down what you will learn. David: Okay. Nothing...well, I'm done. -Mrs. Butler: Write! Write! Write! Matt: Left! Left! Left! -Blake: What do you mean 'people like me'? Mrs. Butler: I said you could take that however you want. Blake: So; hot, sexy supermodels? Mrs. Butler: No, not at all. Blake: You said I could take it however I want. -Blake: I'm gonna write a book called 'Geometry for Idiots'. Mrs. Butler: ...I'm biting my tongue... -Micah: Why do you go to that one instead of ABC? Blake: Why don't you go to LMNOP?...XYZ?...Next time won't you sing with me? -Mrs. Butler: This is one of the problems you'll have on your homework. David: I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish. -Blake: Sierra, I've got to tell you, I love you like a fat kid loves cake... Sierra: You would know! -Blake: Other than baseball, I'm not in any club. Oh, and I joined FBLA so I could skip 2 days of school. John: Spanish Club! Blake: Oh yeah! We joined Spanish Club just to mess with the teacher. We were gonna run for President and Vice-President but they didn't tell us about the meeting. Then she was like, 'That's Blake! Scribble him out! That's John! Scribble him out! Oh, Timmy won...but it was a close race between Timmy and these two names that I couldn't read because they're scribbled out.' 'Who's Timmy?' 'I don't know.' ENGLISH -Tony: I'm keeping the pencil in case I get hungry. Mrs. Free: In case you get hungry? That's an awful lot of fiber, isn't it? Tony: I'm just messin' with you. Mrs. Free: Oh. Well, with you people I've learned to not assume. HISTORY -Jeff: What's that noise? Ms. G: What noise? Jeff: I swear I hear something...I'm freaking out. Ms. G: That's not new for you, Jeffery. Jeff: No! I know I hear something! Ms. G: Jeffery, calm down. Take a deep clensing, calming breath... Jeff: AHHHHHHH!!! Ms. G: What is that noise? Sierra: I'm looking at pictures on my camera. Ms. G: Weel, stop, because Jeffery is spazing out back there. -Josh is setting in the back of the class listening to his iPod Ms. G: I assume you all know what the Crusades were. What's that, Josh? Josh: Actually...I don't know what the Crusades were. Ms. G: I'm surprised you actually knew what I said. Josh: It's turned down. A moment of odd silence... Ms. G: Anyway! -Ms. G: The weapon of choice was the crossbow. Basically, because you didn't have to know what you were doing to use it. It's like a camera, you point and shoot and you're bound to hit something. ORAL COMM. -Mrs. Overstreet: Where's Mrs. Free? Nose: I don't know, but I'm the teacher's aid...What?! Mrs. Overstreet: I'm a little worried about what you're teaching them -Adam is cleaning his desk and humming in a very high tone Jon: You missed a spot. Adam scrubs frantically Richard: It's amazing how much smoother that stuff makes your desk -Mrs. Free: We'll just ignore Adam, he's been huffing cleaner. Adam: Huh? -Alan: Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai! Mrs. Free: Was that an invitation to mate? Nose: That was his mating call. Alan: Mrs. Free, guess what. Mrs. Free: That WAS your mating call? Alan:...No... A rare occurance but this is from BAND -The principal comes over the intercom and makes an announcement that the class was too loud to hear Mr. Mitchell: Did you hear that? He said, 'Mr. Mitchell is getting a big, fat raise.' A few kids cheer and several woodwinds say, "Yay! We'll get new reeds!" SPANISH -Anna's mom: I need to see Anna for just a second...Money honey! Buster: Money? Josh: I'll take money! -Mrs. Hutchings: How much does it say a torta costs? Maggie: Twelve. Mrs. Hutchings: In Spanish? Keri: Twelve. Mrs. Hutchings: In Spanish! Buster: Twelve. -Mrs. Hutchings: He says a la una. What time is that? Josh: Uno o'clock. :lol: Wow! When I started this thread I didn't expect it to be so popular. Thanks for posting, ya'll. It's so much fun to see what funny and stupid stuff goes on in your schools
SCIENCE -Jeremiah: I couldn't wait to see the 7th grade girls team last night. Josh: That's becaouse there's only 1 7th grader on the 7th grade girls team...your sister. Jeremiah: Yeah, I asked her if it was a coincidence that the less 7th graders are on the team, the better they get. -Brandon: Liquid is...liquor... -Dustin: Brandon is gay. Mrs. Louks: Really? -Mrs. Louks: So there's a kid eating lunch. What all states of matter are there? Buster: The burger's solid. Charlee: The coke's liquid. Dustin: There's about to be some gas. Jeremiah: Yeah, I think I see some beans on that plate. -Jeremiah: The little, heat-stealing demon. -Jeremiah: It's the...evaporated...water...traveling to the top...to escape... Josh: Did your mom tell you that? Jeremiah: No...I made it up myself. -(About a video showing a pot of water boiling)Jeremiah: I feel like I do this too often. Me: Yeah, that's the extent of my cooking ability. GEOMETRY -Evan: I knew somebody was coming! I knew it! I knew it!...It's like I have an eighth sense or something. -David: I disagree...I don't even know what she said...but I disagree. -Matt: The other day I said I wish Rascal Flatts would die and then it showed up on the news something about Rascal Flatts and I was like, 'Oh God...'. -Matt: If I have an ugly kid I'm gonna name 'em Ugly. If it came out pretty Id just say 'Ahhhhhh!' so that'd be it's name. Shelby: Yeah, come here Ahhhhh!. -Matt: I don't want ugly kids. I don't want to be the one at work who says 'Look at my kids.' and they're like, 'Yuhhhhhaiiiii!!!'. I don't want to be that guy. -Blake: He coulds drive the bus there and I'd drive it back...Can you guys picture me driving a bus? 'Come on boys, let's go find a mud hole!' ENGLISH -Jeff: Let's get it on! Mrs. Free: What was he trying to pervert? -(About poison)Keenen: She's about to drink the...whatever. Josh: Mmmmmm...grape flavored. ORAL COMM. -Mrs. Free: No wonder these people fail tests, they don't know how to bubble in answers. -Mrs. Free: You know my child? Alan: Your child is warped. BAND -Mr. Mitchell: We've got to be careful how we word this because we don't want it to sound like they're gambling, when in fact they are... -Josh: I love the spa! Jeremy: You do?...Me, too! We should be spa buddies! SPANISH -Keri: Ewww! Don't smell it! Sandra: Why did you smell it? Keri: I wanted to know how it smelled, duh. Josh: Ewww! It smells like llamas in bad water! -Maggie: Jazzercise?! What's that?! Sounds like fun! This is the same Spanish class that randomly breaks into Dora the Explorer songs :lol:, so you shouldn't expect much from us.
Biology I Was Half Asleep Mr. F- And That Creates a cleavage furrow Me- I miss all the good stuff in this class. Mr. F- What Are You Talking About? Me- Welll your talking about clevage, what happened to mitosis? Mr. F- You Should Sleep Less during this class and more at night, you might know what a clevage furrrow was. Health- Talking about inhalents Bee- So What if someone drew under your nose with a sharpie while you were asleep? Ms. L- You'd Wake Up High. Leena- Well My Life finally makes sense. History Mrs. L- Ashley Are You Always Happy? Me- Yeah Basically.
hahaha Ashley- thats hilarious! i dont have any funny things i can think of but i always ask my history teacher if he wants to be president- he thinks im nuts and hes right
ross: how do you spell GCSE everyone else: *blank looks* mr.whitney: i need the letters in on monday everyone else: why? mr.whitney: because the group passport takes 4 weeks to get processed...and we go in 5. I probabaly should have spent less time drinking over xmas and more time sorting out passports
Science -Josh: Does this look like a boat or a hat? Mrs. L: ...Both. It's multi-purpose. Brittany: It looks like underpants! -Buster: I'm gonna build my own plane and jump off the bluff with it. Me: Did you hear that? Who else wants to go watch? Mrs. L: I guess we could build him a memorial...We should start taking up donations... Buster: I'm jumping off the bluff so the trees'll catch me. Charlee: They won't Me: Be sure and use lots of jet fuel. Mrs. L: ...To Buster: The Boy Who Flew. -Buster: Does gravy float? Geometry -Blake: I'm sorry, but if a jolly, fat man was in house at 1 am, I'd have to break his knees. -Matt: I always pictured Santa in Timberlands...with bling...and his sleigh had spinners. -Evan: Why do they have floatation devices on airplanes but not parachutes?...Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?...If drunk driving is illegal why do bars have parking lots?...I'm sorting out the universe on bit at a time. -Blake- She's gonna put me in a desk outside the window. 'Will y'all shut Blake up?' and they shut the window. It starts raining. 'He's fine.' 'Can I go to the bathroom?' 'No.' 'I've got hypothermia.' 'It's okay.'. English -Mrs. F: I'm discussing giving presents to Emily's family because her mother and I are close friends. Keenen: Dude! But I'm family! Mrs. F: And she's not...do you see where I'm going with this?...I don't like my family! -KC: And that land is now Miami Beach. Mrs. F: Probably. Ed: No! It's China...town. History -Ms. G: During the plauge 2 out of 3 of you in here would've died. Kayla: Awesome. Josh Lo.: 2 out of 3? So one of the Joshes would die? Ms. G: Yup. One of you is gone. Josh Lo.: Sign me up as one of the 2 out of the 3. Oral Comm. -Adam: As bad as! Say it fast! Mrs. F: As bad as...bench. Adam: Bench, please. I'm as bad as! Mrs. F: Quit talking about my bad as! Adam: Bench, please! Band Mr. M: Now I know we're selling music on the black market! But! Someone's sold the bell parts!...Get real, man! Keep up with your own music! -Mr. M: Don't make me come over there and go medival on you... Jeremy "Mini-Eric": Bring it! -Jeremy percussion: Yes, Kayla, just like a rat monkey. Spanish -Ms R: Where's Brittany? Maggie: She moved. Brandon: She's grounded. Ms. R: Back to Texas? Maggie: Yeah. Jeremiah: She got grounded from Arkansas? -Jeremiah: May a Bird of Paradise fly up your nose. -Jeremiah: You guys have to tell me what you'll want so I can know what I can steal from the hotel. Josh: Take it. Jeremiah: Yay! Free soap! Quiz Bowl Practice -Jeremiah (singing): What do you do with a drunken sailor? Put him in charge of an Exxon tanker. -Ben: Chemicals don't do that...they explode! And with the effort of the group (Amy,Matt,Dylan,Jeremiah and me) we came up with these lines... "Dick Cheney: He's Our Trigger-Happy Vice-President" and "Math Constipation" aka... a side effect of math axiety.
Musical Theater. Sina's supposed to 'giggle flirtatously', but she couldn't because she had a cold. Sina: You know why I can'd do this? I'm not white. Mr. Ed: No, the reason you can't do this is because Oliver is white. Sina: Oh! That explains everything. Sina: (standing in front of the black curtians) Mr. Ed, you can't see me right? Mr. Ed: Sina, you're a different shade of black then the curtians. Sina: Nu uh, when I was born, God told me that I could blend in with everything black, and I'd believe him over you anyday. Musical theater is so amusing...there's only 12 of us.
In chemistry: Karina: Wow...it smells like bacon! (Commenting on a burnt grape...putting a grape cut in half in a microwave causes it to catch fire XD ) ...who said A level chemistry was boring?
English Gus: Mr. S, you have chalk on your ass. Mr. S: Why are you looking at my ass Gus? Gus: Oh sorry, i couldn't resist. Em: You should be on beauty and the geek Mr. S. Brett: He would be the beauty. Health Ms. L: What is an example of Aerobic exercise? Tony: I'm going to have to say sex. During Drug Presentations. Luke: Ms. L, i'm starting to fear you know too much about all this. Ms. L: Oh and we would you say that? Luke: I could just see you shooting up in an alley while drinking a 40 and smoking some mary jane. Ms. L: Luke, you need to stop following me. Me: If you drink you could do something you'd regret the next morning. Luke: You would know.
Science -Jeremiah (about Sarah): Somebody get this chick a valium...she's having some sort of spastic fit. -Mrs. Louks: We always have pressure equal to the weight of a large truck pressing down on us. Jeremiah: Wouldn't it be funny if we went to another planet with trucks on our heads to simulate earth pressure?...Ahh, just like home! Geometry -Me: the 4th and 5th grade building is definately flooded. Blake: How can it be flooded? It has rubber doorstops. Matt: Rubber doorstops could stop biological warfare. Blake: Don't worry, an A-Bomb just went off next door, but we have rubber doorstops, we're safe. I'm oing home and putting rubber doorstops all over my house. Matt: Me, too. Blake: And on my truck. Matt: So you're always safe? Blake: So I can say my truck is bomb-proof. -Matt: 134? Mrs. B: Close. Matt: Hey! I was!...Wait...no, I wasn't. I was off by, like, 100. Mrs. B: You're right, Blake. Matt: You just called me Blake. Mrs. B: Oh! I did! Sorry, Matt. Matt: If you call me Blake again, I just won't talk to you. Blake: Both of you can just shut up! -Blake: Man!...I feel like a woman. English -Mrs. F: KC? KC: Aqui! Mrs. F: No habla espanol. KC: Uhhhh....si! -Emily: See what you think about that when you're in heck! Mrs. F: I believe hell would be the correct term here. History -Kayla: Did y'all guys Germ-X me? -Sara (singing): Good morning, beautiful! Ms. G: Okay... Sara: That was for you, G. Ms. G: Oh, well, if I was any luckier on that one I couldn't stand it. Oral Comm -Alan: Let me spray paint your body, Mrs. F. -Mrs. F: Because 8th period is now a study hall/independant study for oral comm/dumping place for all the thugs in the school. -Mrs. F: On Thursday of this week we wil have a visitor... Adam: Is it a he or a she? Mrs. F: She. Adam: Is she attractive? Mrs. F: ...Yes. Sierra: Is it you? Mrs. F: I'm not a visitor, hun, I'm always here. Sierra: You could be in a mask. Spanish -Mr. Jesse: Today's new Spanish word, according to Evan, is wanahanaba-ffa. -Jeremiah: The world loves Jeremiah.
Math Ms. Graham: So The square root is... Pat: That's not important, Ms. G, what does fergalicious mean? Em: I ACTUALLY KNOW THIS ONE, fergalicious definition make the boys go loco.