From the Mouth of High School


Mr.D: So, what do electrons need to get the energy to move up a level?
Me<full of the joys of Monday morning>: Lucozade?
Well, it was my first day back after the holidays, so we were a little out

-"I hope you plan on learning because I plan on teaching." "Yeah right! It's not April Fools' Day!"- Mr. Jessie and Brittany

-(Maggie is playing with her cell phone instead of writing her report on technological advances)"There's your technological advances, right there!"- Jordan

-Buster: Tomorrow's Saturday!
Sandra: I'm confused. Tomorrow is Saturday, but today is Monday...
Buster: But yesterday wasn't Sunday...

-Kaleb: Evan! Did you sleep in?!
Matt: His watch says it's 8.
Evan: I thought I was early...

-Sierra: Shane's here!
Mrs. Butler: Shane's gonna get off to a good start this year, right?
Shane shrugs
Matt: No.
Blake: He already failed last semester, why try...Take my advice, drop out of school and join the Mexican army.

-(To Mrs. Butler) Matt: You are WAY too excited about a math problem.
Blake: Her eyes are bugging out!
Matt: Here's some advice...invest in bingo.

-"Well, in English we only have the circles not the box...I guess that's why this is a math clss."- Sierra

-Blake: Do you know how I know it was Harriet?
Mrs. Butler: How?
Blake: Because Jim (choice A) joined the army, Martha (choice B) got killed in a drive-by shooting and William...or Willie (choice D), whatever, joined the Mafia.
Mrs. Butler works out the problem and shows why the answer has to be choice C.: Harriet
Mrs. Butler: It can't be Willie...
Blake: Because Willie joined the...!
Sierra: Didn't join the Mafia!

-"Even the name strikes fear, 'isoceles trapezoid'."- Evan

-Blake: I"m gonna put bottle rockets under your chair and whenever you get a problem wrong we'll shoot one off.
Sierra: Oh! I thought you measured THAT line.
Blake: (Mimicing bottle rocket shooting off) Buthooom!!!

-Mrs. Butler: Everyone got number 5 right.
John: What was it? 2+2?
Mrs. Butler: Maybe there wasn't a number 5.

-Blake: Am I in the Special Ed. class and no body told me?
Micah: I thought he said 'milk card' but he said 'meal card'!
Blake: Seriously, did someone put me and John in the Special Ed. class without telling us?

-(About dressing as a drag queen) KC: Shut up! It's my hobby!
Mrs. Free: Wow...

-"He sure is making a lot of noise for her not to hear him. Is she deaf? It's kinda like one of those bad murder scenes where you can tell they're really stabbing a tomato."- Keenen

-Charlee: If I'm late because of you I'm smackin' you in the head!
Josh: Well, I hope you're late, 'cause I kinda like getting smacked.

-Ms. G: What did you just say?
Jeff: God...bless's a good say.

-Kayla: Hey, G, when you get done with your computer will you yell at me?
Ms. G: Ummmmm...yeah.

I've got more, but my dad needs the tomorrow.
TEACHER: Shane, what's that?
SHANE: That would be CSI, Ms. [insert techer here]
SHANE: Glad to know you educated with pronounciation.


I'm a smart allic with the teachers I like. :p
In Geometry class:

"It just doesn't feel like Friday."
"It's Thursday, Steve."

Girl: "Tell me if this is a stupid question or not, Miss ---."
Teacher: "There are no stupid questions."
Girl: "I asked my world geography teacher if Mount Rushmore is natural. That's not stupid, is it?"
Teacher: "Yeah, it kind of is."

In English class:

"You're just walking SparkNotes, aren't you?"

In Latin class:

"Put your iPods away, you can't have them out until the end of class. Remember, one day iPods will enslave us all."

Announement: "May I have your attention please-"
Teacher: "No!" *throws tissue box at PA system*

In Marching Band:

Director: "Look at all the pretty blue flags the colorguard got for the show!"
*everyone stands to admire flags*
Director, moments later: "Joe! Stop looking at the sky and look at the drum major!"
Joe: "But the flags are so pretty..."

*driving in a town far away from us to a competition*
Trumpet player: "Wow, everyone in this town has the exact same car..." *pauses* "Oh wait, that's a car dealership!"

In art class:

"This line has more waves than the frickin' ocean!"
-Dustin opens the stapler and it shoots a stick of staples across the room
Dustin: ...Well, that was cool.
Buster: Maybe it'd work better with staples in it.

-Dustin: Why do you have a Lightning McQueen pen?
Brandon: Because Lighting McQueen is a pimp.

-Hannah: You need to go to American Idol so I can laugh at you.
Sarah: No!
Hannah: And they always put the ones who suck really bad on TV, so everyone would see you...You should dance, too.

-Mrs. Louks: What state of matter is this desk in?
Josh: Wood!

-Mrs. Louks: This table is actually frozen...
Me: So you could melt wood?
Mrs. Louks: Yes...
Jeremiah: Sweet! Liquid wood!

-Buster: She's got a knife!
Mrs. Louks: Yes, and I will be asking you for blood donations later.

-Mrs. Louks: You wouldn't want to use a bimetal strip on a building. Because what would happen when it got hot?
Jeremiah: You'd have modern art.

-Jeremiah: I had no idea I was going to blacksmith class to day.

-Jeremiah...again: Smelt something!

-Blake: Yeah, I could never keep a little kid. I'd be like, you see that old lady walking with a cane? Yeah? Go kick it out from under her.

-Mrs. Butler: This is easy...I say hesitantly because no sooner than I say that you'll say, 'You said this was easy.'.
Blake: You said this was easy!

-Mrs. Butler: Write down what you will learn.
David: Okay. Nothing...well, I'm done.

-Mrs. Butler: Write! Write! Write!
Matt: Left! Left! Left!

-Blake: What do you mean 'people like me'?
Mrs. Butler: I said you could take that however you want.
Blake: So; hot, sexy supermodels?
Mrs. Butler: No, not at all.
Blake: You said I could take it however I want.

-Blake: I'm gonna write a book called 'Geometry for Idiots'.
Mrs. Butler: ...I'm biting my tongue...

-Micah: Why do you go to that one instead of ABC?
Blake: Why don't you go to LMNOP?...XYZ?...Next time won't you sing with me?

-Mrs. Butler: This is one of the problems you'll have on your homework.
David: I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish.

-Blake: Sierra, I've got to tell you, I love you like a fat kid loves cake...
Sierra: You would know!

-Blake: Other than baseball, I'm not in any club. Oh, and I joined FBLA so I could skip 2 days of school.
John: Spanish Club!
Blake: Oh yeah! We joined Spanish Club just to mess with the teacher. We were gonna run for President and Vice-President but they didn't tell us about the meeting. Then she was like, 'That's Blake! Scribble him out! That's John! Scribble him out! Oh, Timmy won...but it was a close race between Timmy and these two names that I couldn't read because they're scribbled out.' 'Who's Timmy?' 'I don't know.'

-Tony: I'm keeping the pencil in case I get hungry.
Mrs. Free: In case you get hungry? That's an awful lot of fiber, isn't it?
Tony: I'm just messin' with you.
Mrs. Free: Oh. Well, with you people I've learned to not assume.

-Jeff: What's that noise?
Ms. G: What noise?
Jeff: I swear I hear something...I'm freaking out.
Ms. G: That's not new for you, Jeffery.
Jeff: No! I know I hear something!
Ms. G: Jeffery, calm down. Take a deep clensing, calming breath...
Ms. G: What is that noise?
Sierra: I'm looking at pictures on my camera.
Ms. G: Weel, stop, because Jeffery is spazing out back there.

-Josh is setting in the back of the class listening to his iPod
Ms. G: I assume you all know what the Crusades were. What's that, Josh?
Josh: Actually...I don't know what the Crusades were.
Ms. G: I'm surprised you actually knew what I said.
Josh: It's turned down.
A moment of odd silence...
Ms. G: Anyway!

-Ms. G: The weapon of choice was the crossbow. Basically, because you didn't have to know what you were doing to use it. It's like a camera, you point and shoot and you're bound to hit something.

-Mrs. Overstreet: Where's Mrs. Free?
Nose: I don't know, but I'm the teacher's aid...What?!
Mrs. Overstreet: I'm a little worried about what you're teaching them

-Adam is cleaning his desk and humming in a very high tone
Jon: You missed a spot.
Adam scrubs frantically
Richard: It's amazing how much smoother that stuff makes your desk

-Mrs. Free: We'll just ignore Adam, he's been huffing cleaner.
Adam: Huh?

-Alan: Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai!
Mrs. Free: Was that an invitation to mate?
Nose: That was his mating call.
Alan: Mrs. Free, guess what.
Mrs. Free: That WAS your mating call?

A rare occurance but this is from BAND
-The principal comes over the intercom and makes an announcement that the class was too loud to hear
Mr. Mitchell: Did you hear that? He said, 'Mr. Mitchell is getting a big, fat raise.'
A few kids cheer and several woodwinds say, "Yay! We'll get new reeds!"

-Anna's mom: I need to see Anna for just a second...Money honey!
Buster: Money?
Josh: I'll take money!

-Mrs. Hutchings: How much does it say a torta costs?
Maggie: Twelve.
Mrs. Hutchings: In Spanish?
Keri: Twelve.
Mrs. Hutchings: In Spanish!
Buster: Twelve.

-Mrs. Hutchings: He says a la una. What time is that?
Josh: Uno o'clock.

:lol: Wow! When I started this thread I didn't expect it to be so popular. Thanks for posting, ya'll. It's so much fun to see what funny and stupid stuff goes on in your schools :D
-Jeremiah: I couldn't wait to see the 7th grade girls team last night.
Josh: That's becaouse there's only 1 7th grader on the 7th grade girls team...your sister.
Jeremiah: Yeah, I asked her if it was a coincidence that the less 7th graders are on the team, the better they get.

-Brandon: Liquid is...liquor...

-Dustin: Brandon is gay.
Mrs. Louks: Really?

-Mrs. Louks: So there's a kid eating lunch. What all states of matter are there?
Buster: The burger's solid.
Charlee: The coke's liquid.
Dustin: There's about to be some gas.
Jeremiah: Yeah, I think I see some beans on that plate.

-Jeremiah: The little, heat-stealing demon.

-Jeremiah: It's the...evaporated...water...traveling to the escape...
Josh: Did your mom tell you that?
Jeremiah: No...I made it up myself.

-(About a video showing a pot of water boiling)Jeremiah: I feel like I do this too often.
Me: Yeah, that's the extent of my cooking ability.

-Evan: I knew somebody was coming! I knew it! I knew it!...It's like I have an eighth sense or something.

-David: I disagree...I don't even know what she said...but I disagree.

-Matt: The other day I said I wish Rascal Flatts would die and then it showed up on the news something about Rascal Flatts and I was like, 'Oh God...'.

-Matt: If I have an ugly kid I'm gonna name 'em Ugly. If it came out pretty Id just say 'Ahhhhhh!' so that'd be it's name.
Shelby: Yeah, come here Ahhhhh!.

-Matt: I don't want ugly kids. I don't want to be the one at work who says 'Look at my kids.' and they're like, 'Yuhhhhhaiiiii!!!'. I don't want to be that guy.

-Blake: He coulds drive the bus there and I'd drive it back...Can you guys picture me driving a bus? 'Come on boys, let's go find a mud hole!'

-Jeff: Let's get it on!
Mrs. Free: What was he trying to pervert?

-(About poison)Keenen: She's about to drink the...whatever.
Josh: Mmmmmm...grape flavored.

-Mrs. Free: No wonder these people fail tests, they don't know how to bubble in answers.

-Mrs. Free: You know my child?
Alan: Your child is warped.

-Mr. Mitchell: We've got to be careful how we word this because we don't want it to sound like they're gambling, when in fact they are...

-Josh: I love the spa!
Jeremy: You do?...Me, too! We should be spa buddies!

-Keri: Ewww! Don't smell it!
Sandra: Why did you smell it?
Keri: I wanted to know how it smelled, duh.
Josh: Ewww! It smells like llamas in bad water!

-Maggie: Jazzercise?! What's that?! Sounds like fun!

This is the same Spanish class that randomly breaks into Dora the Explorer songs :lol:, so you shouldn't expect much from us.
I Was Half Asleep
Mr. F- And That Creates a cleavage furrow
Me- I miss all the good stuff in this class.
Mr. F- What Are You Talking About?
Me- Welll your talking about clevage, what happened to mitosis?
Mr. F- You Should Sleep Less during this class and more at night, you might know what a clevage furrrow was.

Talking about inhalents
Bee- So What if someone drew under your nose with a sharpie while you were asleep?
Ms. L- You'd Wake Up High.
Leena- Well My Life finally makes sense.

Mrs. L- Ashley Are You Always Happy?
Me- Yeah Basically.
hahaha Ashley- thats hilarious!

i dont have any funny things i can think of but i always ask my history teacher if he wants to be president- he thinks im nuts and hes right :D
ross: how do you spell GCSE
everyone else: *blank looks*

mr.whitney: i need the letters in on monday
everyone else: why?
mr.whitney: because the group passport takes 4 weeks to get processed...and we go in 5. I probabaly should have spent less time drinking over xmas and more time sorting out passports
-Josh: Does this look like a boat or a hat?
Mrs. L: ...Both. It's multi-purpose.
Brittany: It looks like underpants!

-Buster: I'm gonna build my own plane and jump off the bluff with it.
Me: Did you hear that? Who else wants to go watch?
Mrs. L: I guess we could build him a memorial...We should start taking up donations...
Buster: I'm jumping off the bluff so the trees'll catch me.
Charlee: They won't
Me: Be sure and use lots of jet fuel.
Mrs. L: ...To Buster: The Boy Who Flew.

-Buster: Does gravy float?

-Blake: I'm sorry, but if a jolly, fat man was in house at 1 am, I'd have to break his knees.

-Matt: I always pictured Santa in Timberlands...with bling...and his sleigh had spinners.

-Evan: Why do they have floatation devices on airplanes but not parachutes?...Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?...If drunk driving is illegal why do bars have parking lots?...I'm sorting out the universe on bit at a time.

-Blake- She's gonna put me in a desk outside the window. 'Will y'all shut Blake up?' and they shut the window. It starts raining. 'He's fine.' 'Can I go to the bathroom?' 'No.' 'I've got hypothermia.' 'It's okay.'.

-Mrs. F: I'm discussing giving presents to Emily's family because her mother and I are close friends.
Keenen: Dude! But I'm family!
Mrs. F: And she's you see where I'm going with this?...I don't like my family!

-KC: And that land is now Miami Beach.
Mrs. F: Probably.
Ed: No! It's

-Ms. G: During the plauge 2 out of 3 of you in here would've died.
Kayla: Awesome.
Josh Lo.: 2 out of 3? So one of the Joshes would die?
Ms. G: Yup. One of you is gone.
Josh Lo.: Sign me up as one of the 2 out of the 3.

Oral Comm.
-Adam: As bad as! Say it fast!
Mrs. F: As bad as...bench.
Adam: Bench, please. I'm as bad as!
Mrs. F: Quit talking about my bad as!
Adam: Bench, please!

Mr. M: Now I know we're selling music on the black market! But! Someone's sold the bell parts!...Get real, man! Keep up with your own music!

-Mr. M: Don't make me come over there and go medival on you...
Jeremy "Mini-Eric": Bring it!

-Jeremy percussion: Yes, Kayla, just like a rat monkey.

-Ms R: Where's Brittany?
Maggie: She moved.
Brandon: She's grounded.
Ms. R: Back to Texas?
Maggie: Yeah.
Jeremiah: She got grounded from Arkansas?

-Jeremiah: May a Bird of Paradise fly up your nose.

-Jeremiah: You guys have to tell me what you'll want so I can know what I can steal from the hotel.
Josh: Take it.
Jeremiah: Yay! Free soap!

Quiz Bowl Practice
-Jeremiah (singing): What do you do with a drunken sailor? Put him in charge of an Exxon tanker.

-Ben: Chemicals don't do that...they explode!

And with the effort of the group (Amy,Matt,Dylan,Jeremiah and me) we came up with these lines...
"Dick Cheney: He's Our Trigger-Happy Vice-President"
"Math Constipation" aka... a side effect of math axiety.
Musical Theater.
Sina's supposed to 'giggle flirtatously', but she couldn't because she had a cold.
Sina: You know why I can'd do this? I'm not white.
Mr. Ed: No, the reason you can't do this is because Oliver is white.
Sina: Oh! That explains everything.

Sina: (standing in front of the black curtians) Mr. Ed, you can't see me right?
Mr. Ed: Sina, you're a different shade of black then the curtians.
Sina: Nu uh, when I was born, God told me that I could blend in with everything black, and I'd believe him over you anyday.

Musical theater is so amusing...there's only 12 of us.
In chemistry:

Karina: smells like bacon! (Commenting on a burnt grape...putting a grape cut in half in a microwave causes it to catch fire XD )
...who said A level chemistry was boring? :D
Gus: Mr. S, you have chalk on your ass.
Mr. S: Why are you looking at my ass Gus?
Gus: Oh sorry, i couldn't resist.

Em: You should be on beauty and the geek Mr. S.
Brett: He would be the beauty.

Ms. L: What is an example of Aerobic exercise?
Tony: I'm going to have to say sex.

During Drug Presentations.
Luke: Ms. L, i'm starting to fear you know too much about all this.
Ms. L: Oh and we would you say that?
Luke: I could just see you shooting up in an alley while drinking a 40 and smoking some mary jane.
Ms. L: Luke, you need to stop following me.

Me: If you drink you could do something you'd regret the next morning.
Luke: You would know.
-Jeremiah (about Sarah): Somebody get this chick a valium...she's having some sort of spastic fit.

-Mrs. Louks: We always have pressure equal to the weight of a large truck pressing down on us.
Jeremiah: Wouldn't it be funny if we went to another planet with trucks on our heads to simulate earth pressure?...Ahh, just like home!

-Me: the 4th and 5th grade building is definately flooded.
Blake: How can it be flooded? It has rubber doorstops.
Matt: Rubber doorstops could stop biological warfare.
Blake: Don't worry, an A-Bomb just went off next door, but we have rubber doorstops, we're safe. I'm oing home and putting rubber doorstops all over my house.
Matt: Me, too.
Blake: And on my truck.
Matt: So you're always safe?
Blake: So I can say my truck is bomb-proof.

-Matt: 134?
Mrs. B: Close.
Matt: Hey! I was!, I wasn't. I was off by, like, 100.
Mrs. B: You're right, Blake.
Matt: You just called me Blake.
Mrs. B: Oh! I did! Sorry, Matt.
Matt: If you call me Blake again, I just won't talk to you.
Blake: Both of you can just shut up!

-Blake: Man!...I feel like a woman.

-Mrs. F: KC?
KC: Aqui!
Mrs. F: No habla espanol.

-Emily: See what you think about that when you're in heck!
Mrs. F: I believe hell would be the correct term here.

-Kayla: Did y'all guys Germ-X me?

-Sara (singing): Good morning, beautiful!
Ms. G: Okay...
Sara: That was for you, G.
Ms. G: Oh, well, if I was any luckier on that one I couldn't stand it.

Oral Comm
-Alan: Let me spray paint your body, Mrs. F.

-Mrs. F: Because 8th period is now a study hall/independant study for oral comm/dumping place for all the thugs in the school.

-Mrs. F: On Thursday of this week we wil have a visitor...
Adam: Is it a he or a she?
Mrs. F: She.
Adam: Is she attractive?
Mrs. F: ...Yes.
Sierra: Is it you?
Mrs. F: I'm not a visitor, hun, I'm always here.
Sierra: You could be in a mask.

-Mr. Jesse: Today's new Spanish word, according to Evan, is wanahanaba-ffa.

-Jeremiah: The world loves Jeremiah.
Ms. Graham: So The square root is...
Pat: That's not important, Ms. G, what does fergalicious mean?
Em: I ACTUALLY KNOW THIS ONE, fergalicious definition make the boys go loco.