From the Mouth of High School

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by araSgerG, Sep 18, 2006.

  1. Pixu

    Pixu Witness

    Dec 10, 2006
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    Mr.D: So, what do electrons need to get the energy to move up a level?
    Me<full of the joys of Monday morning>: Lucozade?
  2. araSgerG

    araSgerG Lab Technician

    Apr 22, 2005
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    Well, it was my first day back after the holidays, so we were a little out

    -"I hope you plan on learning because I plan on teaching." "Yeah right! It's not April Fools' Day!"- Mr. Jessie and Brittany

    -(Maggie is playing with her cell phone instead of writing her report on technological advances)"There's your technological advances, right there!"- Jordan

    -Buster: Tomorrow's Saturday!
    Sandra: I'm confused. Tomorrow is Saturday, but today is Monday...
    Buster: But yesterday wasn't Sunday...

    -Kaleb: Evan! Did you sleep in?!
    Matt: His watch says it's 8.
    Evan: I thought I was early...

    -Sierra: Shane's here!
    Mrs. Butler: Shane's gonna get off to a good start this year, right?
    Shane shrugs
    Matt: No.
    Blake: He already failed last semester, why try...Take my advice, drop out of school and join the Mexican army.

    -(To Mrs. Butler) Matt: You are WAY too excited about a math problem.
    Blake: Her eyes are bugging out!
    Matt: Here's some advice...invest in bingo.

    -"Well, in English we only have the circles not the box...I guess that's why this is a math clss."- Sierra

    -Blake: Do you know how I know it was Harriet?
    Mrs. Butler: How?
    Blake: Because Jim (choice A) joined the army, Martha (choice B) got killed in a drive-by shooting and William...or Willie (choice D), whatever, joined the Mafia.
    Mrs. Butler works out the problem and shows why the answer has to be choice C.: Harriet
    Mrs. Butler: It can't be Willie...
    Blake: Because Willie joined the...!
    Sierra: Didn't join the Mafia!

    -"Even the name strikes fear, 'isoceles trapezoid'."- Evan

    -Blake: I"m gonna put bottle rockets under your chair and whenever you get a problem wrong we'll shoot one off.
    Sierra: Oh! I thought you measured THAT line.
    Blake: (Mimicing bottle rocket shooting off) Buthooom!!!

    -Mrs. Butler: Everyone got number 5 right.
    John: What was it? 2+2?
    Mrs. Butler: Maybe there wasn't a number 5.

    -Blake: Am I in the Special Ed. class and no body told me?
    Micah: I thought he said 'milk card' but he said 'meal card'!
    Blake: Seriously, did someone put me and John in the Special Ed. class without telling us?

    -(About dressing as a drag queen) KC: Shut up! It's my hobby!
    Mrs. Free: Wow...

    -"He sure is making a lot of noise for her not to hear him. Is she deaf? It's kinda like one of those bad murder scenes where you can tell they're really stabbing a tomato."- Keenen

    -Charlee: If I'm late because of you I'm smackin' you in the head!
    Josh: Well, I hope you're late, 'cause I kinda like getting smacked.

    -Ms. G: What did you just say?
    Jeff: God...bless's a good say.

    -Kayla: Hey, G, when you get done with your computer will you yell at me?
    Ms. G: Ummmmm...yeah.

    I've got more, but my dad needs the tomorrow.
  3. vegaslights

    vegaslights Brute

    Oct 30, 2004
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    TEACHER: Shane, what's that?
    SHANE: That would be CSI, Ms. [insert techer here]
    SHANE: Glad to know you educated with pronounciation.


    I'm a smart allic with the teachers I like. :p
  4. assumenothing

    assumenothing Rookie

    Jan 19, 2006
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    In Geometry class:

    "It just doesn't feel like Friday."
    "It's Thursday, Steve."

    Girl: "Tell me if this is a stupid question or not, Miss ---."
    Teacher: "There are no stupid questions."
    Girl: "I asked my world geography teacher if Mount Rushmore is natural. That's not stupid, is it?"
    Teacher: "Yeah, it kind of is."

    In English class:

    "You're just walking SparkNotes, aren't you?"

    In Latin class:

    "Put your iPods away, you can't have them out until the end of class. Remember, one day iPods will enslave us all."

    Announement: "May I have your attention please-"
    Teacher: "No!" *throws tissue box at PA system*

    In Marching Band:

    Director: "Look at all the pretty blue flags the colorguard got for the show!"
    *everyone stands to admire flags*
    Director, moments later: "Joe! Stop looking at the sky and look at the drum major!"
    Joe: "But the flags are so pretty..."

    *driving in a town far away from us to a competition*
    Trumpet player: "Wow, everyone in this town has the exact same car..." *pauses* "Oh wait, that's a car dealership!"

    In art class:

    "This line has more waves than the frickin' ocean!"
  5. araSgerG

    araSgerG Lab Technician

    Apr 22, 2005
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    -Dustin opens the stapler and it shoots a stick of staples across the room
    Dustin: ...Well, that was cool.
    Buster: Maybe it'd work better with staples in it.

    -Dustin: Why do you have a Lightning McQueen pen?
    Brandon: Because Lighting McQueen is a pimp.

    -Hannah: You need to go to American Idol so I can laugh at you.
    Sarah: No!
    Hannah: And they always put the ones who suck really bad on TV, so everyone would see you...You should dance, too.

    -Mrs. Louks: What state of matter is this desk in?
    Josh: Wood!

    -Mrs. Louks: This table is actually frozen...
    Me: So you could melt wood?
    Mrs. Louks: Yes...
    Jeremiah: Sweet! Liquid wood!

    -Buster: She's got a knife!
    Mrs. Louks: Yes, and I will be asking you for blood donations later.

    -Mrs. Louks: You wouldn't want to use a bimetal strip on a building. Because what would happen when it got hot?
    Jeremiah: You'd have modern art.

    -Jeremiah: I had no idea I was going to blacksmith class to day.

    -Jeremiah...again: Smelt something!

    -Blake: Yeah, I could never keep a little kid. I'd be like, you see that old lady walking with a cane? Yeah? Go kick it out from under her.

    -Mrs. Butler: This is easy...I say hesitantly because no sooner than I say that you'll say, 'You said this was easy.'.
    Blake: You said this was easy!

    -Mrs. Butler: Write down what you will learn.
    David: Okay. Nothing...well, I'm done.

    -Mrs. Butler: Write! Write! Write!
    Matt: Left! Left! Left!

    -Blake: What do you mean 'people like me'?
    Mrs. Butler: I said you could take that however you want.
    Blake: So; hot, sexy supermodels?
    Mrs. Butler: No, not at all.
    Blake: You said I could take it however I want.

    -Blake: I'm gonna write a book called 'Geometry for Idiots'.
    Mrs. Butler: ...I'm biting my tongue...

    -Micah: Why do you go to that one instead of ABC?
    Blake: Why don't you go to LMNOP?...XYZ?...Next time won't you sing with me?

    -Mrs. Butler: This is one of the problems you'll have on your homework.
    David: I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish.

    -Blake: Sierra, I've got to tell you, I love you like a fat kid loves cake...
    Sierra: You would know!

    -Blake: Other than baseball, I'm not in any club. Oh, and I joined FBLA so I could skip 2 days of school.
    John: Spanish Club!
    Blake: Oh yeah! We joined Spanish Club just to mess with the teacher. We were gonna run for President and Vice-President but they didn't tell us about the meeting. Then she was like, 'That's Blake! Scribble him out! That's John! Scribble him out! Oh, Timmy won...but it was a close race between Timmy and these two names that I couldn't read because they're scribbled out.' 'Who's Timmy?' 'I don't know.'

    -Tony: I'm keeping the pencil in case I get hungry.
    Mrs. Free: In case you get hungry? That's an awful lot of fiber, isn't it?
    Tony: I'm just messin' with you.
    Mrs. Free: Oh. Well, with you people I've learned to not assume.

    -Jeff: What's that noise?
    Ms. G: What noise?
    Jeff: I swear I hear something...I'm freaking out.
    Ms. G: That's not new for you, Jeffery.
    Jeff: No! I know I hear something!
    Ms. G: Jeffery, calm down. Take a deep clensing, calming breath...
    Jeff: AHHHHHHH!!!
    Ms. G: What is that noise?
    Sierra: I'm looking at pictures on my camera.
    Ms. G: Weel, stop, because Jeffery is spazing out back there.

    -Josh is setting in the back of the class listening to his iPod
    Ms. G: I assume you all know what the Crusades were. What's that, Josh?
    Josh: Actually...I don't know what the Crusades were.
    Ms. G: I'm surprised you actually knew what I said.
    Josh: It's turned down.
    A moment of odd silence...
    Ms. G: Anyway!

    -Ms. G: The weapon of choice was the crossbow. Basically, because you didn't have to know what you were doing to use it. It's like a camera, you point and shoot and you're bound to hit something.

    -Mrs. Overstreet: Where's Mrs. Free?
    Nose: I don't know, but I'm the teacher's aid...What?!
    Mrs. Overstreet: I'm a little worried about what you're teaching them

    -Adam is cleaning his desk and humming in a very high tone
    Jon: You missed a spot.
    Adam scrubs frantically
    Richard: It's amazing how much smoother that stuff makes your desk

    -Mrs. Free: We'll just ignore Adam, he's been huffing cleaner.
    Adam: Huh?

    -Alan: Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai! Yai!
    Mrs. Free: Was that an invitation to mate?
    Nose: That was his mating call.
    Alan: Mrs. Free, guess what.
    Mrs. Free: That WAS your mating call?

    A rare occurance but this is from BAND
    -The principal comes over the intercom and makes an announcement that the class was too loud to hear
    Mr. Mitchell: Did you hear that? He said, 'Mr. Mitchell is getting a big, fat raise.'
    A few kids cheer and several woodwinds say, "Yay! We'll get new reeds!"

    -Anna's mom: I need to see Anna for just a second...Money honey!
    Buster: Money?
    Josh: I'll take money!

    -Mrs. Hutchings: How much does it say a torta costs?
    Maggie: Twelve.
    Mrs. Hutchings: In Spanish?
    Keri: Twelve.
    Mrs. Hutchings: In Spanish!
    Buster: Twelve.

    -Mrs. Hutchings: He says a la una. What time is that?
    Josh: Uno o'clock.

    :lol: Wow! When I started this thread I didn't expect it to be so popular. Thanks for posting, ya'll. It's so much fun to see what funny and stupid stuff goes on in your schools :D
  6. araSgerG

    araSgerG Lab Technician

    Apr 22, 2005
    Likes Received:
    -Jeremiah: I couldn't wait to see the 7th grade girls team last night.
    Josh: That's becaouse there's only 1 7th grader on the 7th grade girls team...your sister.
    Jeremiah: Yeah, I asked her if it was a coincidence that the less 7th graders are on the team, the better they get.

    -Brandon: Liquid is...liquor...

    -Dustin: Brandon is gay.
    Mrs. Louks: Really?

    -Mrs. Louks: So there's a kid eating lunch. What all states of matter are there?
    Buster: The burger's solid.
    Charlee: The coke's liquid.
    Dustin: There's about to be some gas.
    Jeremiah: Yeah, I think I see some beans on that plate.

    -Jeremiah: The little, heat-stealing demon.

    -Jeremiah: It's the...evaporated...water...traveling to the escape...
    Josh: Did your mom tell you that?
    Jeremiah: No...I made it up myself.

    -(About a video showing a pot of water boiling)Jeremiah: I feel like I do this too often.
    Me: Yeah, that's the extent of my cooking ability.

    -Evan: I knew somebody was coming! I knew it! I knew it!...It's like I have an eighth sense or something.

    -David: I disagree...I don't even know what she said...but I disagree.

    -Matt: The other day I said I wish Rascal Flatts would die and then it showed up on the news something about Rascal Flatts and I was like, 'Oh God...'.

    -Matt: If I have an ugly kid I'm gonna name 'em Ugly. If it came out pretty Id just say 'Ahhhhhh!' so that'd be it's name.
    Shelby: Yeah, come here Ahhhhh!.

    -Matt: I don't want ugly kids. I don't want to be the one at work who says 'Look at my kids.' and they're like, 'Yuhhhhhaiiiii!!!'. I don't want to be that guy.

    -Blake: He coulds drive the bus there and I'd drive it back...Can you guys picture me driving a bus? 'Come on boys, let's go find a mud hole!'

    -Jeff: Let's get it on!
    Mrs. Free: What was he trying to pervert?

    -(About poison)Keenen: She's about to drink the...whatever.
    Josh: Mmmmmm...grape flavored.

    -Mrs. Free: No wonder these people fail tests, they don't know how to bubble in answers.

    -Mrs. Free: You know my child?
    Alan: Your child is warped.

    -Mr. Mitchell: We've got to be careful how we word this because we don't want it to sound like they're gambling, when in fact they are...

    -Josh: I love the spa!
    Jeremy: You do?...Me, too! We should be spa buddies!

    -Keri: Ewww! Don't smell it!
    Sandra: Why did you smell it?
    Keri: I wanted to know how it smelled, duh.
    Josh: Ewww! It smells like llamas in bad water!

    -Maggie: Jazzercise?! What's that?! Sounds like fun!

    This is the same Spanish class that randomly breaks into Dora the Explorer songs :lol:, so you shouldn't expect much from us.
  7. AshleyFirst223

    AshleyFirst223 Pathologist

    Dec 10, 2006
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    I Was Half Asleep
    Mr. F- And That Creates a cleavage furrow
    Me- I miss all the good stuff in this class.
    Mr. F- What Are You Talking About?
    Me- Welll your talking about clevage, what happened to mitosis?
    Mr. F- You Should Sleep Less during this class and more at night, you might know what a clevage furrrow was.

    Talking about inhalents
    Bee- So What if someone drew under your nose with a sharpie while you were asleep?
    Ms. L- You'd Wake Up High.
    Leena- Well My Life finally makes sense.

    Mrs. L- Ashley Are You Always Happy?
    Me- Yeah Basically.
  8. ineverysunflower

    ineverysunflower Coroner

    Jul 11, 2005
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    hahaha Ashley- thats hilarious!

    i dont have any funny things i can think of but i always ask my history teacher if he wants to be president- he thinks im nuts and hes right :D
  9. speedleishot

    speedleishot Rookie

    Apr 13, 2006
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    ross: how do you spell GCSE
    everyone else: *blank looks*

    mr.whitney: i need the letters in on monday
    everyone else: why?
    mr.whitney: because the group passport takes 4 weeks to get processed...and we go in 5. I probabaly should have spent less time drinking over xmas and more time sorting out passports
  10. araSgerG

    araSgerG Lab Technician

    Apr 22, 2005
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    -Josh: Does this look like a boat or a hat?
    Mrs. L: ...Both. It's multi-purpose.
    Brittany: It looks like underpants!

    -Buster: I'm gonna build my own plane and jump off the bluff with it.
    Me: Did you hear that? Who else wants to go watch?
    Mrs. L: I guess we could build him a memorial...We should start taking up donations...
    Buster: I'm jumping off the bluff so the trees'll catch me.
    Charlee: They won't
    Me: Be sure and use lots of jet fuel.
    Mrs. L: ...To Buster: The Boy Who Flew.

    -Buster: Does gravy float?

    -Blake: I'm sorry, but if a jolly, fat man was in house at 1 am, I'd have to break his knees.

    -Matt: I always pictured Santa in Timberlands...with bling...and his sleigh had spinners.

    -Evan: Why do they have floatation devices on airplanes but not parachutes?...Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?...If drunk driving is illegal why do bars have parking lots?...I'm sorting out the universe on bit at a time.

    -Blake- She's gonna put me in a desk outside the window. 'Will y'all shut Blake up?' and they shut the window. It starts raining. 'He's fine.' 'Can I go to the bathroom?' 'No.' 'I've got hypothermia.' 'It's okay.'.

    -Mrs. F: I'm discussing giving presents to Emily's family because her mother and I are close friends.
    Keenen: Dude! But I'm family!
    Mrs. F: And she's you see where I'm going with this?...I don't like my family!

    -KC: And that land is now Miami Beach.
    Mrs. F: Probably.
    Ed: No! It's

    -Ms. G: During the plauge 2 out of 3 of you in here would've died.
    Kayla: Awesome.
    Josh Lo.: 2 out of 3? So one of the Joshes would die?
    Ms. G: Yup. One of you is gone.
    Josh Lo.: Sign me up as one of the 2 out of the 3.

    Oral Comm.
    -Adam: As bad as! Say it fast!
    Mrs. F: As bad as...bench.
    Adam: Bench, please. I'm as bad as!
    Mrs. F: Quit talking about my bad as!
    Adam: Bench, please!

    Mr. M: Now I know we're selling music on the black market! But! Someone's sold the bell parts!...Get real, man! Keep up with your own music!

    -Mr. M: Don't make me come over there and go medival on you...
    Jeremy "Mini-Eric": Bring it!

    -Jeremy percussion: Yes, Kayla, just like a rat monkey.

    -Ms R: Where's Brittany?
    Maggie: She moved.
    Brandon: She's grounded.
    Ms. R: Back to Texas?
    Maggie: Yeah.
    Jeremiah: She got grounded from Arkansas?

    -Jeremiah: May a Bird of Paradise fly up your nose.

    -Jeremiah: You guys have to tell me what you'll want so I can know what I can steal from the hotel.
    Josh: Take it.
    Jeremiah: Yay! Free soap!

    Quiz Bowl Practice
    -Jeremiah (singing): What do you do with a drunken sailor? Put him in charge of an Exxon tanker.

    -Ben: Chemicals don't do that...they explode!

    And with the effort of the group (Amy,Matt,Dylan,Jeremiah and me) we came up with these lines...
    "Dick Cheney: He's Our Trigger-Happy Vice-President"
    "Math Constipation" aka... a side effect of math axiety.
  11. CSI_in_training

    CSI_in_training CSI Level Two

    Jun 21, 2005
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    Musical Theater.
    Sina's supposed to 'giggle flirtatously', but she couldn't because she had a cold.
    Sina: You know why I can'd do this? I'm not white.
    Mr. Ed: No, the reason you can't do this is because Oliver is white.
    Sina: Oh! That explains everything.

    Sina: (standing in front of the black curtians) Mr. Ed, you can't see me right?
    Mr. Ed: Sina, you're a different shade of black then the curtians.
    Sina: Nu uh, when I was born, God told me that I could blend in with everything black, and I'd believe him over you anyday.

    Musical theater is so amusing...there's only 12 of us.
  12. Pixu

    Pixu Witness

    Dec 10, 2006
    Likes Received:
    In chemistry:

    Karina: smells like bacon! (Commenting on a burnt grape...putting a grape cut in half in a microwave causes it to catch fire XD )
    ...who said A level chemistry was boring? :D
  13. AshleyFirst223

    AshleyFirst223 Pathologist

    Dec 10, 2006
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    Gus: Mr. S, you have chalk on your ass.
    Mr. S: Why are you looking at my ass Gus?
    Gus: Oh sorry, i couldn't resist.

    Em: You should be on beauty and the geek Mr. S.
    Brett: He would be the beauty.

    Ms. L: What is an example of Aerobic exercise?
    Tony: I'm going to have to say sex.

    During Drug Presentations.
    Luke: Ms. L, i'm starting to fear you know too much about all this.
    Ms. L: Oh and we would you say that?
    Luke: I could just see you shooting up in an alley while drinking a 40 and smoking some mary jane.
    Ms. L: Luke, you need to stop following me.

    Me: If you drink you could do something you'd regret the next morning.
    Luke: You would know.
  14. araSgerG

    araSgerG Lab Technician

    Apr 22, 2005
    Likes Received:
    -Jeremiah (about Sarah): Somebody get this chick a valium...she's having some sort of spastic fit.

    -Mrs. Louks: We always have pressure equal to the weight of a large truck pressing down on us.
    Jeremiah: Wouldn't it be funny if we went to another planet with trucks on our heads to simulate earth pressure?...Ahh, just like home!

    -Me: the 4th and 5th grade building is definately flooded.
    Blake: How can it be flooded? It has rubber doorstops.
    Matt: Rubber doorstops could stop biological warfare.
    Blake: Don't worry, an A-Bomb just went off next door, but we have rubber doorstops, we're safe. I'm oing home and putting rubber doorstops all over my house.
    Matt: Me, too.
    Blake: And on my truck.
    Matt: So you're always safe?
    Blake: So I can say my truck is bomb-proof.

    -Matt: 134?
    Mrs. B: Close.
    Matt: Hey! I was!, I wasn't. I was off by, like, 100.
    Mrs. B: You're right, Blake.
    Matt: You just called me Blake.
    Mrs. B: Oh! I did! Sorry, Matt.
    Matt: If you call me Blake again, I just won't talk to you.
    Blake: Both of you can just shut up!

    -Blake: Man!...I feel like a woman.

    -Mrs. F: KC?
    KC: Aqui!
    Mrs. F: No habla espanol.

    -Emily: See what you think about that when you're in heck!
    Mrs. F: I believe hell would be the correct term here.

    -Kayla: Did y'all guys Germ-X me?

    -Sara (singing): Good morning, beautiful!
    Ms. G: Okay...
    Sara: That was for you, G.
    Ms. G: Oh, well, if I was any luckier on that one I couldn't stand it.

    Oral Comm
    -Alan: Let me spray paint your body, Mrs. F.

    -Mrs. F: Because 8th period is now a study hall/independant study for oral comm/dumping place for all the thugs in the school.

    -Mrs. F: On Thursday of this week we wil have a visitor...
    Adam: Is it a he or a she?
    Mrs. F: She.
    Adam: Is she attractive?
    Mrs. F: ...Yes.
    Sierra: Is it you?
    Mrs. F: I'm not a visitor, hun, I'm always here.
    Sierra: You could be in a mask.

    -Mr. Jesse: Today's new Spanish word, according to Evan, is wanahanaba-ffa.

    -Jeremiah: The world loves Jeremiah.
  15. AshleyFirst223

    AshleyFirst223 Pathologist

    Dec 10, 2006
    Likes Received:
    Ms. Graham: So The square root is...
    Pat: That's not important, Ms. G, what does fergalicious mean?
    Em: I ACTUALLY KNOW THIS ONE, fergalicious definition make the boys go loco.

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