From the Mouth of High School

Very creepy thing that happened to this one kid..

Me: Remember when Mr. R did this...
Sandra: Yes, and that time when he was taking pictures of like lowerschoolers.
Laela: I have no clue who you guys have been talking about, but he seems like a pervert.
Me: Yeah sort of..he was our old teacher....
New Kid: Wait a sec, are you talking about the same Mr. R that I know...his first name is Matthew..
Us: Yes
New Kid:He used dated my sister. She's 24. He told her he was 28.
Us: He's 45 and has a 12 year old daughter in Oregon.
New Kid: Oh. I better tell my sister.

We felt so bad for him.....
when i was in highschool there was this one kid who when asked who was the traitor during the american revolution he blurted out tom arnold.
Oh gosh...we once had a substitute teacher that argued with a student for 10 minutes that an island was a floating pile of dirt...
hee hee the other day in chemistry the teacher couldnt be bothered teaching so he told us to do anything we wanted, so i sat and wrote down what everyone was talking about. here is some of the stuff they came out with:

stephen: ally are you any good at football?
ally: fantastic.
stephen: yeah, you are good with balls.

mr robinson: stop fiddling with the taps. fool.
william: ha ha ha you crack me up sometimes sir.

william: im a nazi
mr robinson: more like a nancy
william: ha ha sir, how do you come up with this stuff?

stephen: becca, did you give harry crabs?
becca: no....
stephen: why not?

william: i know a psyco
stephen: who?
william: my brother
stephen: really?
william: yeah he chases me round the house with......weapons.

and thats just a little bit of it...
The kids in my class are really obsessed with ninjas and pirates and they were trying to get my journalsim teacher to let them put a page in our school paper called "Ninjas vs. Pirates" and they were like "This is a really important, controversial issue at Garrison today" and she said "If you can prove it, we will have a ninja page in our paper" and then they were like "It's ninjas and PIRATES!!!". To make a long story short, we will not be having a ninja and pirate page in our paper.
In geometry class we had a teacher that was the old geometry teacher but now he's the principal in the elementary, but our new geometry teacher is sick so he's teaching our you follow me?...Anyways, John and Blake were picking on him like usual and Blake said something like, "Awww, Mr. Butler, that's so sweet. I'm gonna start calling you 'princess'." and Mr. Butler was sorta distracted and he was like, "Okay, Blake, that sounds great." Then avout five minutes later Micah was confused about why everyone had passed their papers to her and she says, "Why do I have so many papers?" and Sierra says, "Because we all thought you were the princess, Micah." and Mr. Butler is standing up at the front of the classroom (and how he managed to say this with a straight face I'll never understand) and says, "No, Sierra that would be me."
I've got new ones!!! Yay, me!
-"Ha ha, Dustin, I got the pink one!"- Walker

-About Mr. Butler, "Is that the pretty-boy?" "Come in, princess!"- Blake and John
-"A! D! D! We all have it!" "We need Ritalin." "We need, like, a tablet the size of the desk and when we come in we all take a lick." - Matt and Blake
-"Are you really going to write d-halls?" "Yes." "On the absentee sheet?" "...Yes." "Smooth, very creative."- Matt and Ms. Ramsey, the sub
-"On the cone I drew a clown and on the circle I drew, like, an upside-down clown."- Blake complaining that he was told he wasn't creativ enough on the Gifted and Talented admission test
-John writes 'dis class sucks!' on the greaseboard. "That's the GT translation of what's goin' on here."- John
-Ms. Ramsey sees the note John wrote and yells, "Who wrote that!" and Matt says, "I know who wrote it. It was a certain someone...with a reddish neck." John pulls his jacket collar up over his neck and yells, "Who?!"
-"David, where'd you buy these?" "I didn't." - Sierra and David

-"Ms. G, do you want me to booty-dance on you?" "No." "Just checking." "Not right now." "Okay." - Kayla and Ms. G
-"Jeffery, I swear by my years you are an idiot!" - Ms. G
-You should know that Ty is Ms. G's nephew to really get this. "Where is Ty?" "Well...I had to kill him over the weekend." - Kayla and Ms. G
More, more more

-"[Sarcastically] want a cookie?" "Yes." "...Me, too."- Dustin and Josh
-"Wha'd you do? Bet on a sick horse?" "How would I know if a horse is sick? I'm not no stinkin' horse-talker!"-Jeremiah and Sarah
-"You'll hear someone with a deep voice and they'll end up looking like Buster." "Yeah!"- Dustin and Buster

-"There's a problem, it's in my book." "Yes, there are lots of problems in your book."- Emilee about her homework and Mr. Butler.
-"They always pass out before they die."- David
-"Guess what, I beat John Daily in golf last night." "Well, I beat Tiger Woods and I didn't even have a club."- Blake and Evan
-"John, Blake; come back to your seats. You'll get in too much trouble back there." "We're good boys!" "I'll get in trouble up here, too." "Yeah, well..."- Mr. Butler, John and Blake
-[In falsetto voices] "He's got spirit, yes he do!" "He's got spirit, how 'bout you?!"- Blake and Matt
-[In falsetto voices]"Matt, come to my office...alone."- Blake

-"It's her birthday, throw stuff at her!"- Mrs. Free
-"Are you still thinking about swimming?" "No!" "What?" "He was in class waving his arms and the teacher was like, 'What are you doing?' and he was like, 'I'm swimming! Look at the dolphins!' and the teacher was like, 'You're on crack.'."-Tony, Brandon and KC

World History
-"May I go and speak to Mrs. Roe (the art teacher)?" "What do you need to speak of?" "Crayons."- Kayla and Ms. G

One day at lunch...
Amy had a U.S. Constitution word search and Nick sat down next to her and was like, "It took me all class period to find this one." and he just kept circling words for her. I said, "Hey, cheaters!" and dipped my hand into my glass of water and flicked it at them and Amy was like, "What was that?" and I said,"Uhhh....I bless you with the HolySacredWater." Amy said, "Wait, you blessed us for cheating?" and I said, "Yes! Be blessed again!" and flicked more water at them and got some in Christy's eye and then I turned to Christy, Courtney, Shelby and Wren and said, "Do any of you want to be blessed by my HolySacredWater?" and Christy said, "No, thanks, you already got me." and Wren, "Not unless you want this HolySacredFrenchFry shoved up your nose!". So Amy, Nick and I left and I said, "Yup, HolySacredWater, that's my big word of the day." and Amy said, "Well, it's better than Keri's, it was 'necromancy'." and I said,"Sounds like she could use some of my big word of the day." and Nick said, "Holy SacredWater, Batman!"....of course earlier Nick had said, "Pope? Isn't that a Teletubby?" :lol:
I had to go to South Dakota for a funeral and there were some teenage girls talking

Girl: It was miraculous, my boyfriend and his roommate bought $200 worth of Gushers. There were Gushers everywhere. But now he's homeless...not really, but ya know.
Oh my God. You've seriously gotta be kidding me! $200?! :lol: That's horrible! Wow, they must not have had a lot else to spend their money on!
This isn't any "stupid sayings" but always makes melaugh when I remember that. And it wasn't even "high school time"

We used to have two grades in same classroom
like 1-2, 3-4 and 5-6

So when I was on 3rd and 4th grade kids.. they were going some adjective stuff in Finnish class. You know these

Good -> Better -> The Best

...comparative and superlative! (lol, been a while when used those term)

So one guy got the word "red" and he said

punainen, punaisempi, vaaleanpunainen

which goes like this when translated:

red, redder, pink

From Science
-"So the particles are what? Besides slow and lazy?" "Gay?"-Mrs. Louks and Dustin
-"What is carried by a water wave?" "Fat, white guy who is boogie-boarding."- Mrs. Louks and Jeremiah
-We like to speak out against the governor, i.e. Down With Huckabee: Free to be Fat! or Dustin's attempt,"He's got candy! That's against the law!"
-"I'm fat now give me candy!" "Us skinny boys need food, too!"- Dustin and Buster
-""I want heat vision!" "No animal has heat vision, idiot." "Everybody knows badgers have heat vision." - Jeremiah and Dustin
-"'Your child's a cyborg.' 'Cool! I want heat vision!'."- Jeremiah

-"How many officials are on a professional football field at a time?" "6!" "This says 'L'."-Matt and Shelby

-"So you looked like a big idiot?" "No, I looked like this. [tries to jump but leaves one foot on the floor]" "A big idiot. Like yourself times six."- Me, KC and Victoria
-"I'm going to pop a cap in y'all's booties!"- Emily

-"Do you really want the seventh graders driving next year?" "I don't want them driving period, until I'm, like, dead. But that's just me."-Laci and Ms. G
-"[Sarcastically] Aww, darn, Jeffery's not here." "You sound so depressed." "Yeah, that's right up there with nine of my seventh graders aren't here today."- Ms. G and Teagan

Oral Comm.
-"I'm ferg-alicious!...Get ready to give your speeches cuz I'm ferg-alicious!"- Nose
-Nose: You've got Bluetooth?! Lemme give you some ringtones!
Rachael: You don't want none of his ringtones.
Mrs. Free: Do you have 'Ridin' Dirty'?
Nose: I think so.
Mrs. Free: Ha!
We had to give a speech selling something of ours.
-"You can't do that! I'm doing that!" "You'll get over it!" - Audrey and Jeremiah
-"You can replace the eraser with any mechanical pencil eraser available at most Dollar General stores and...CRAP! That's all I've got!" - Jeremiah
-"Sell your jacket!" "Sell yourself!" "Hey! No!"- Sierra, Audrey and Mrs. Free
-"Sell your shoes!" "Sell your jacket!" "Sell your soul!"- Sierra, Logan and Jeremiah

-"Nic, nac paddywhack give the dog a bone!" "Whatever you say." "Can I hit her? Like, would I get in trouble?"- Anna, Jeremiah and Maggie
-"[Singing to Anna]Na na na na! Na na na na! Hey hey hey! Get off the board!"- Maggie to the tune of (Na na na) Kiss Him Goodbye
These are some that I just never got around to posting...
6 November
-"You went deer hunting and shot a squirrel? What did you shoot it with?" "A 12 gauge." "...There wasn't much squirrel left was there?"- Walker and Buster
-"My hunting experience was basically setting in the woods eating cupcakes." - Jeremiah
7 November
-"I have no times...I has bad grammars."- Jeremiah
-"Mechanical? You're just making this stuff up! Dadgum it!"- Jeremiah
-"Is that a guy on that swing?...In orthopedic shoes?"- Jeremiah
-"Live, fishies, live! I love you!"- Shane
3 November
-"My bone marrow is frozen!" "My Tootsee Roll is almost frozen..."- Jeremiah and Josh
-"I don't like eating Sugar Daddies, that's just too's like eating death."- Jeremiah
-"Hey! thae music stopped!" "What music? There wasn't any music..." "Yes, there was, you were playing it on your...calculator."- Shane, Dustin and Sarah

3 November
-"Diet Vanella Black Cherry Dr. Pepper. Okay, if it's got more than 5 words in the name I'm not drinking it. Plus, it looks retarded on the can. It's got, like, tiny words."- Matt
-"Cops don't like to be called stupid pigs."- Blake
30 October
-Mrs. Butler: Blake, what's angle 16?
Blake: I know's a Russian secret.
Mrs. Butler:...John, what's the answer?
John: 125
Mrs. Butler: Now tell Blake how you got that.
Blake: I know how he got it. He broke into the czar's house
6 November
-"[singing badly] And I loooove youuuuuu!" "Shhh!" "I was singing about you! [pauses] Do, do-le, do, do, do-le, do!" "Shhh..." "I was playing my banjo!...Oh, like you've never played your imaginary banjo before!"- Blake and Mrs. Ramsey
-"Have you had to paddle a kindergartener yet? [Mr. Butler nods] That's awesome! Wha'd you have to paddle 'em for?" "Coloring outside the lines?"- Blake and John
7 November
-"If I'm gonna pay $300 for a pair of boots they better be studded with diamonds and made of chocolate that'll never go away no matter how much I eat it."- Evan
-"If any one finds a blue binder return it to Evan..." "Yeah! It's like hearing God say my name!"- The principal over the intercom and Evan

7 November
-"William, forgive me, for I know I have sinned by showing 'Romeo and Juliet' guinea pig theater."- Mrs. Free
-"It's really hard to sneak corn chips. With the crunching...and the crumb...and the way you try to chew slowly and then realize that they're starting to melt and they're not really good that way."- Mrs. Free

6 November
-"Oh my God! It's James Bond!" "Da da da!" [Adam prances around in a tight, zipped-up, black jacket with the hood pulled up; black gloves and his finger and thumb mimicing a gun] "...It's the gay James Bond."- David and Adam
7 November
-Giving a speech on how to make peanut butter cookies."You need to get eggs and milk and cookie dough...oh, wait, you've got to make the cookie dough...and be sure and turn your oven off or you WILL burn your house down."- Alan
-Giving a speech on how to make chocolate chip cookies. "Then you add a stick of butter..." "Yeah, that's not fattening." "With that much butter in it, it must be good."- Kasey, Nose and Jeremiah
-Giving a speech on how to wash dishes. "Even though I don't believe in using sinks..."- Sara
-Sara used a handmade posterboard dishwasher for her speech that Mrs. Free took from her after the speech, upon getting this she said,"Guess what my kid's getting for Christmas?!"
-"It's a pound cake." "I don't care how much it weighs, I just want a piece of it."- Courtney and Jesse

6 November
-"You look hot in pigtails, Ben." "Yeah, it really gives him the 'innocent schoolgirl' look."- Codie and Amy

6 November
-"Want some Mike and Ikes?" "Sure!" "Hammer down!"- Jordan and Erin
30 October
-"Cheerleaders, I thought you were great at the pep-rally." "I thought y'all sucked." "Uh?!" "...Just kidding."- Mrs. Hutchings, Brittany and Anna
-" Charlee doesn't have her book! Does she get d-hall?" "Yes." "You are getting me in trouble on purpose! I hate you!" "Punch her! I wanna see a fight!"- Keri, Mrs. Hutchings, Charlee and Dylan
8 November
-"Let me in!" "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!" "Keri!" "I'm sorry, that was just calling me."- Mrs. Pate, Keri and Buster
-"Band gives me indegestion." "Everything does." "Life gives me indegestion."- Me and Jeremiah
-"What famous thing happened is Baltimore?" "The writing of the Star-Spangled Banner." "No, something else, was it the Boston Tea Party?"- Buster and Me
-"Is everybody here today?" "I think so." "If that's too many people, I can leave."- Josh, Mrs. Louks and Jeremiah
-"So it's kinda like looking at the sun then looking down?" "No, that's just killing your eyes."- Brittany and Mrs. Louks
-"Can microwaves go inside you?" "Yes, they can penetrate up to about two inches." "And yet they can't penetrate a Hot Pocket up to, like, one and a half inches."- Charlee, Mrs. Louks and Jeremiah
-"Ultraviolet waves can penetrate up to about six inches." "That'd toast a Hot Pocket."- Mrs. Louks and Jeremiah

-"This is a dysfunctional family, right here."- David
-"That picture's hard." "This one?" "Sierra, what do you think that picture's trying to get you to do?" "Hard stuff."- Sierra, Mrs. Butler and David
-[About Mr. Butler]"...and he was having to be a mom and dad at home..." "Awwww...did he have to wear a little apron?" "No, but he did load the dishwasher several times." "Awww...Princess was workin' hard."- Mrs. Butler and Blake
-"CPCT." "CPCT?" "Can you sound that one out?" "Stup-cut..." "Cu-pu-cu-tuh."- John and David
-Emilee: Did he just say 'put a curling iron in his mouth'?
Stephanie: Yeah, she's done that.
Blake: She was like, 'I wonder what this tastes like?' so she plugged it in and let it get all warm...
Emilee: I can't roll my tounge.
David: Use a curling iron!

-"Whooo! We're gonna draw! Oh, wait, swords, sorry."- Mrs. Free
-"You died!" "Does that mean I don't have to read anymore?"- Cody and KC
-"Who's Tybalt in this class?" "Jordan." "Jordan, that was a cheap, wait, now I don't have to read anymore. Thanks Jordan!"- KC and Tony

-"You guys, I'm sorry, I forgot the crayons." "Kayla!"- Kayla and Sierra

-"At a wedding you'd probably toast the bride and groom, not talking about the groom's ex-girlfriends or the bride's ex-boyfriends." "Or the groom's ex-boyfriends and the bride's ex-girlfriends!" "Or their life in prison." "Or how he's killed his last three wives."- Mrs. Free, Adam and Jeremiah
-"Could you bring yourself to marry someone who had killed his past three wives?" "It depends on how much money he had got from the insurance claims and if I could kill him before he kills me...I make a killer lasagna, some of you should try some." "Really? I love lasagna!"- Alan and Mrs. Free
-"I want to be buried face down so the world can kiss my butt goodbye." "Then shouldn't you be buried facing up...oh, wait, that's your face..."- Nose and Mrs. Free
-"She's so retarded." "And you would be an expert in that field."- Adam and Mrs. Free

-[About Charlee]"She's talking funny because she has a retainer." "Oh, okay, I thought she was just stupid."- Keri and Maggie