So I’ve been working on this critique for a few days, well planning to anyway. I’ve been sitting here and reading your story over and over and getting ready to start and without fail, every time, someone or something get’s in my way. But, this time, I won’t let it.
I loved it! I think I say that a little too much, but I really did love it. As every week passes and I read more Miami fiction, as I watch more episodes, as I get to know the stories just a little better, I love it more and more. See, I just learned about the whole E/N history last night. That made me do more research about E/C and so, I learned a lot more about the show. I learned a lot more about Horatio too, but that was just a side effect of my looking into information on Natalia, who is slowly becoming my second favorite Miami character. But you don’t need to know anything about my progression as a Miami fan. Anyway, as I said, I’m learning a lot about Miami and it’s becoming easier and easier for me to enjoy the Miami fictions we feature here. So, when I said that I loved it, I not only meant that I thought it made a great story independent of that branch of the show, but that it made a great story as part of the Miami universe. I have an ability, now, to read and understand Miami now, and it really was a great story. I really did love it.
As much as I’ve just preached that I’m learning a lot more about the show, sometimes it takes a while for the allusions to jump out off the page at me, but I am catching on. I didn’t know whose perspective it was in when I started out reading, but I kind of liked that. I enjoyed having to read closely, and pay attention, to figure out what was going on at the beginning, then you kept me interested by all expressing her concerns and problems. You formed a connection between the reader and your main character and it provided an extra little bit of excitement moving through the story.
I guess the only thing I didn’t really like was the delivery of the ending. I mean, I liked the way you ended it, I even found it to be kinda fun. But, the delivery just seemed a little off. You spent a great deal of time in the story building up her relationship with Eric, and thought not as much, you still equally made her other relationship with Jake seem to be far less important. It seemed obvious that she had chosen Eric over the other man, but then you throw this ending out there, and while it could have been Jake that called, all sings point to no. I guess it just didn’t feel like there was enough of an internal struggle on her part, to really make it seem like there was a decision to be made there at the end. I’m worried that I didn’t deliver or explain what I was trying to say properly, so if I didn’t please ask me any questions about it that you have about my blather.
Actually, I was thinking about it, and I kind of find this sick comfort in the fact that I all but know that it was Eric on the other end of the line. I mean, I’m fairly certain that it was him and all. I just like that no matter what it was that you put her through, throughout the short story, in the end she made her choice, and it was a good one. It was like, and ending that gave an overwhelming sense of peace. Though she had been almost afraid to make the decision all along she knew the choice that she had to make, and she made it. I know that I shouldn’t really go on about plot points that I like, or dislike, but I can’t help it. I just, really really like the plot you’ve got with this one.
TQ: Well, I sometimes really enjoy open ended fanfictions. As a matter of a fact, I’m quite guilty of writing them myself. I have one, which I should be posting the last chapter to today or tomorrow, where I’m writing two totally separate endings. I’m going to allow the readers to decide which one is more correct. Sometimes they can be frustrating, annoying, or even pretty lame. But, most often I guess I give in to the masochist in myself because I just enjoy not really knowing. Then, sometimes, it really boils me and I’ll PM the author immediately and BEG to know. I guss, it just depends. I, however, absolutely love playing the part of the author/sadist and doing it to other people. When you spend an entire 100,000+ word story just knowing that you’re going to end it with an unknown, it’s like getting high, almost. I know, that’s totally skanky of me. But I do loves it.
