CSI Fan Fiction Critique Group.

Wow! Calm down, ladies! Oh, I don't know though... :drool:

LLK - the timing of the move is entirely up to you. It's going to be good whenever we do it, so go for it when you're ready.

Leni
 
Critique:

Strong points:

Emotional piece. I really liked that it was first person. I always think first person POVs are great because you can explore the emotions in depth, and I think you did an amazing job with that. I'm a sucker for emotional stories. :)

I like that you kind of didn't outright say what was going on. You leave it up to the imagination somewhat, and I also like that. It gives the chance for everyone to draw their own conclusion of the situation, even if it's not what you had in mind. It's really good.

Not as strong points:

I couldn't tell who was telling the story (but admittedly, I'm slow and can easily miss things). I could tell Horatio was in it, but I couldn't tell if he was the person in the hospital or if he was the visitor. I got confused. But other than that, it was a really good story. :) Great job.

TQ: When you are writing stories that incorporate song lyrics how do you choose? Why? Where do you find them? How do you know they are just right?

It depends on where I'm fitting them in. Like, I had one story... "Hate Me," I believe, where every chapter ended with song lyrics. The lyrics either reflected the chapter they follow, or they foreshadow the next chapter. It was kind of fun, but I began to run out of lyrics toward the end... made for a good limit on the story haha.

I try to find lyrics that fit with the emotions. If I'm writing a sad, heartbreak story, something by NSYNC from their first album isn't necessarily gonna cut it. :lol: If I'm writing something happy, something by My Chemical Romance isn't gonna work either.

A lot of times, the tone of the piece I'm working on goes with how I feel at the moment, so a song that defines my life at the moment would make its way into the story. Also, I write stories around some of my favorite songs, so that helps too. When I get a song stuck in my head, I'm apt to write a story to it, because it gives me a way to get it out... lol.

There are some songs you just hear, and you can picture the perfect scene or story for it. That was how it was with "Golden," by Fall Out Boy. I heard it over and over, and I pictured Greg after Fannysmackin'. I wrote it into a story, and it's still a story I like. :)
 
We're in a bit of a crossover period here, so I'm going to post this both here and on the new site - I hope that's OK with everyone.

This is really my answer to the TQ and response to all your critiques, all rolled into one!

I decided a long time ago that I would never write a song fic, because I’ve read too many that are badly written, cheesy, and way too contrived, and I just didn’t want to go there. However, things change! This is only the second fic I’ve done which incorporates song lyrics. The first one I did for a challenge here a few weeks ago, and for that one I just (at the last minute, and because I had to) used some lyrics I liked which seemed to fit the story to some degree.

This one, however, was completely different. My 17 year old son put this CD on in the car one day, and this track caused some very personal memories to resurface as soon as I heard it.

OK, so, four years ago my brother and best friend Keith got a late diagnosis of a rare form of cancer, and ended up having major surgery with a 20% chance of coming off the operating table alive. I went to the hospital to see him the following day, and stood outside for ages not wanting to go in, and then I stood in the corridor wondering what he’d be like, and... well, ya know. As soon as I heard the song, it reminded me quite vividly of those few days.
I’m actually a bit rubbish at writing down my own personal thoughts and feelings directly (I can’t tell you how many diaries I’ve tried keeping and ended up destroying!), and it made it easier to project it onto someone else. The H&M scene came close to what I needed, and it may actually be bad, contrived and cheesy, but it was one that I needed to write, so... there it is! I also dithered for ages before deciding to go ahead and post it.

However, having read all your critiques, what can I say? I’m totally gobsmacked by all your comments on this piece – especially as most of you found so many nice things to say despite: a. not liking songfics, b. not liking Horatio and/or c. not liking the Horatio–Marisol storyline. So thanks.

The best thing for me is that you think I’ve got Horatio’s character nailed. I’ve watched him so intently (because I have to say that he is absolutely my favourite character) and I try to get inside his head and write him as I want him to be, based on how he appears in the show – does that make sense? It does to me!

It’s my first attempt at writing in the first person, so I’m glad that worked well. It was just the right way to go with this one, and it wouldn’t have worked any other way. And keeping it all in the one point of view, as Speed_Cochrane said, made it very personal.

A couple of folk mentioned identifying the characters early on, but I couldn’t find a way of doing this that didn’t seem contrived, so I just didn’t do it! But then AmandaRuth thought it was “clear that Horatio and Marisol were the focus of the story before you even mentioned their names”! Anyway, I’m going to change the author’s note so it’s clear there, and if people don’t read it, that’s their problem!!

Adorelo said: “In some places, you flick about tenses: ‘answered’ and ‘I feel’.” The “answered” bit was referring to an earlier conversation, so was past tense; the rest was in the present – but maybe that isn’t clear unless you know the episode inside out.

The last three lines? They just came to me when I thought the story was finished. It was one of those moments of epiphany that just puts the icing on the cake.

OK. The Great Grammatical Debate! Well, I really started something on this one, didn’t I? I don’t think I’m even going to comment any more on this one, except to say that as there are so many opinions, and no-one is totally clear which is the correct way, I will just keep on writing what I think and feel is right. However, KAZALENE: I’m all for taking liberties and intend to continue doing so at every possible opportunity!

And finally, can I just say:
ZELDA49: “this one should be held up as an example of exactly how to do it for anyone who wants to try” and JENNIFER: “The writers could have used you.” Wow! Praise like this means more to me than you could ever know.

So thanks to ALL of you. See you on our new site.
Leni.
 
Hi guys :D On August 6, the auditions for the new RPs will start: as i said on the Role play rules, there will be 2 RPs per show( total: 6 RPs) which means that everyone who wants it can have a role, just ask it here or be a part of the auditions. You can also post here your suggestions for the next RPs, like some new situations, or the ships you would like etc.
 
This seems like such an awesome idea but the website seems to be down =/. Am I doing something wrong when I can't visit it or has it been closed?

I would love to read someone else's stories a bit deeper and have a chance to look into specific styles, characterization or work with questions about the text from the author, so if someone wants help, I'm in! :)
 
lostladyknight said:
Welcome to the Critique Group!

This group is for anyone interested in improving their writing, beginners and advanced writers are all welcome.
Click to expand...

So... I've been gone, well, a few years. Is any incarnation of this group or LLK or any of this group still around in some form? I see that it's been a couple years since anyone posted in this group, yet it's still a pinned post...
 
Hi I'm Argentina, I love stories of fiction fan of CSI but only those focused on Nick. Do not know much about the group but if I want to contribute and help. No problem with English because I put the machine translator. I can be part of the group if only answered ls stories about Nick? Thank you // Hola soy Argentina, me encanan las historias de fan ficción pero solo las que se centran en Nick. No entiendo mucho lo del grupo pero si me interesa aportar y ayudar. No hay problema con el ingles porque pongo el traductor automático. Puedo ser parte del grupo si solo contesto ls historias sobre Nick? Gracias
 
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