CSI Fan Fiction Critique Group.

Week 21
I want you all to go and find your absolute favorite CSI Fan Fiction and tell us about it. I want to know specifics though.
1. Why do you like it?
2. If you could change anything, what would it be? Would you even want to change it?
3. How did you find it?
4. Has it changed your writing in any way since you discovered it?
5. Do you have any other favorites? What are they

Story: Greg's Big Secret
Author: LosingInTranslation
Rating: K+

Well, there are a couple reasons why I liked this story. The main one was that it pulled me out of a major depression that I had been suffering from for days. The second I saw Flaming Nipple of Doom, I swear anyone in my dorm wanted me dead, I was laughing SO hard. It was incredible, because there was not a single feeling of being upset anymore. It cheered me up one hundred percent. Also, it had been a long while since I’d read a decent Greg-centric story, and this one hit just the right spot. I miss Greggo, so you can understand my recent obsession with Greg stories. And why I’m writing my own, now.

Honestly, there really isn’t anything about this story that I would want to change. This particular author has this way of capturing characters, so this story was perfect when it came to Greg’s characterization. I mean, there were some grammar errors, but the spelling was spot on. There really isn’t a thing besides that.

Alright, I found this story when I was talking to a friend of mine online. I was in need of a GSR fix at the time, so I asked her if she knew any good authors that wrote that ship. She told me about LosingInTranslation, and I fell in love with the style. Then, one night when I couldn’t sleep, I began reading through her other stories. What I found was this particular story, and right after I read it, I fell asleep. It was exactly what I needed that day (or night, if you want to get technical).

In all honestly, you could definitely say that this has changed my writing, but not in the way that you think. It helped a bit with my characterization, because I was having trouble with Greg in my own Greg-centric story. When I read this story, I was actually able to write Greg breaking down. It was a wonderful thing.

Story: Frozen
Author: lostladyknight
Rating: K+

Why do I like this story? Hmm… There are quite a few reasons why this is one of my favorite stories, actually. One of them is that it was the first New York story I had ever read. I had always been a huge fan of CSI: New York, but my passion for fan fiction had been reserved for the original CSI and nothing more. But when I saw this story by LLK, I noticed it seemed out of her comfort zone as well. Deciding that she must have been challenged (lol) I decided to read it. The first thing that captured me was the imagery, which was absolutely incredible. I could practically see the snow falling in my mind.

What was even better was the fact that I could feel what the characters were feeling: this overwhelming sense of loss. I read this at such a terrible time in my life (is anyone else sensing a pattern here?), and I could just relate so well to the way they were both feeling at that moment.

Just the notion of changing something about this story is absolutely ridiculous. It was damn near perfect. If she had left out the relationship between Danny and Lindsay, THEN I may have flipped a… well, you know where I’m going with this. So basically, no, I would not want to change it at all.

Explaining how I found it… that’s an easy one! I’m friends with the author. She was telling me about the Fiction Critique Group, and I got curious. When I submitted my critique for that night, I decided to check out past stories. When I noticed that she had written a challenge piece for New York, I became quite intrigued, so I decided to read it. End of story.

Now see, this question is going to be hard to answer for this story, because the answer is no. Not that it didn’t give me anything to improve my writing, but because I read other stories for help with mostly characterization. I improve my grammar in my English class, which has done wonders (if you haven’t noticed already).

Story: The End Justifies the Means
Author: Adorelo
Rating: T

I feel like I’m cheating using a previously featured story, but LLK did it, so whatever. Alright, I really liked this story. I thought it was very well done for a challenge, and it definitely kept my attention the entire time. I really liked how the physical pain was mixed in so well with the emotional pain. It’s something I had grown quite accustomed to knowing (a little too well, I might add) from many friends of mine, that the two go hand in hand most of the time. If they are feeling deep emotional pain, they sometimes take the physical aspect to themselves. Now, granted, this was Calleigh spilling coffee on Eric (not self inflicted), but it’s the same basic concept.

I’m not even going to bother lying: LLK showed me this story. Under what circumstances, I’m not telling. But that’s only because I don’t want anybody taking her out on my account. And honestly, I wouldn’t know if this story has changed my writing in any way. I’ll have to reread my stories to figure that one out.

Story: Irony
Author: Amanda Ruth
Rating: T

Okay, this might be considered vain, but frankly, I really don’t care. This story is probably the only one of my stories that I can say I am truly proud of. I like what I did with and to Warrick. I know it seems absolutely evil, but putting characters through physical and mental anguish to get them to what will make them happy is just how I roll. And Catherine… I just love how I made her so… domineering. Honestly, I think it’s the best thing I had written in a while.

Okay, this next little tidbit applies to pretty much all of my stories that involve him: I wish I could change the fact that I made Grissom seem like a total bastard. The fact that his team is supposed to love him so much… it seems like I’ve made him the bad guy in all of my stories.

Hmm… where DID I find this story? Well, the idea was born when a certain friend of mine was whining about how there wasn’t enough good Yo!Bling out there. And frankly, I had to agree with her. In that instant, I decided that I needed to write something good. Now, I had decided that there would be a 2000 word maximum on this story, and then 8000 words later I finally finished. The actual STORY was found in the deep recesses of my subconscious mind, screaming at me to make Warrick look good after all the bull the happened during Cockroaches and Lying Down With Dogs.

Well, actually, writing this story changed my writing style significantly. I’ve become quite a bit more detailed since then (just read Chapter 7 of When Greg Met Sarah), and have become more proud of my work since I wrote it.

Okay, now I’m stealing an idea from LLK. I’m going to do Author Honorable Mention. For good CSI writing, I always turn to:

DarkElvenPrincess4 because she has this way of making such out of character actions for Grissom or Sara seem so unbelievably in character. And she is damn good for a laugh or two. Trust me, her story Confessions A La Mode is to die for. I couldn’t stop laughing the first time I read it, and any other time after that.

LosingInTranslation because she is an absolutely wonderful authoress. I love her tasteful way of writing… ahem… you know… and the fact that she never writes it without a plot. I also love her Discovery Series, which is about six stories so far. It is absolutely wonderful, and her original character is anything BUT a MarySue.

Lasrevinu because she has a special place in my heart. I had always been very much against fan fiction before I came to college. Then my friend Ashley made me read the story Castles in the Air by this fascinating young woman, and I fell in love. After about a month of just reading, I started writing myself. Most of the stories I read were by Lasrevinu, so I was always fond of her. I definitely recommend her story Castles in the Air, as well as Shuffle, her most recent work in progress

Jordan A. Masters because she has been a huge influence in my writing. To be honest, she hasn’t written CSI, but the story she has written (and is still writing) is absolutely incredible. I fell madly in love with Erik (if you don’t know who I’m talking about, I’m gonna sic Gaston Leroux’s ghost on your butt) because of her. Her original character’s disdain for her ancestors Christine and Raoul is absolutely superb, because it tastes of exactly how I feel about that despicable pairing. *shudder* If you like Phantom of the Opera, this is a must read story ^_^.
 
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Hey. Love this idea, and I promise to write something later today, but I have to write two sermons and a presentation on my trip to India before I can do anything else!

A few weeks ago the group critiqued the first bit of a story I was writing, and a few of you wanted to read the rest - well it's finally finished and posted on FanFiction.net, so if you'd like to read it and review it, that would be great. I'd put a link to it but erm... don't know how, and my son's not in right now! So, it's called Lost and Found, and it was updated about 20th March.

I'll be back later!
Leni
 
It 'aint long, I'm lucky I was able to get on at all. work is kicking my butt.

1. Why do you like it?
2. If you could change anything, what would it be? Would you even want to change it?
3. How did you find it?
4. Has it changed your writing in any way since you discovered it?
5. Do you have any other favorites? What are they

My overall favorite fic is Drawing Circles by Crema De Estrellas.

It's centered on Calleigh, and is a highly in-depth look into her life. It's long, it's dark and it's angsty and I love it. The emotions are so raw in some parts I felt like the author was writing about my life, and when I didn't I could feel everything Calleigh was feeling.

I'd change nothing about this fic, but I implore you all to read it. It blew me away.

I found it one day when I was meandering around ff.net searching for some decent writing. It's been on my faves list for about three years now.

Yes, it's changed my writing. Before reading it, I didn't both about depth. I told a story, I didn't consider the characters. I can't comment on whether it's improved my writing, but I can hope.

Other Favorites?

For fun and flirty, I'd say A lady Never Tells by Gwasshoppa. It's cute, flirty and lighthearted, with a touch of sweet but teasing romance. Wonderfully written, proving yet again, that Calleigh is one hot lady.

There's a couple of M-rated fics that I can't link to that I love. Windy City Dreamer writes very well. Somethingsdont is also a writer I admire a lot, her style flows well and she has an ability to manipulate the readers emotions in just a moments. I can rely on lostladyknight for good CSI stories, few make me want to read, she does.

Finally, the one LeAnne write for the v-Day challenge. 12:01 was wonderfully told, my review highlights this. It really touched me.
 
Critique Group Week 21

I think my total favourite (at the moment, at least!) has to be​


Je ne sais quoi, by Frost Deejn (on FanFiction.net)

It starts with an explosion in a beach house, and a man’s body and two unconscious women are found. The Team set about working the case, trying to find out who the women are, what’s happened, and who’s to blame.

I loved this story because it was so well written and well balanced. There’s some real CSI-type stuff, a well-thought-out case that the team are working on, there’s mystery and a bit of angst, and some relationship stuff too that doesn’t get too heavy and overshadow the ‘real’ story. All the elements of the story fit in well together, and compliment each other right the way through. The characterisation is very good, and the writing descriptive and clear – I could picture everything that was being written about. The story kept me interested from start to finish, and there were no glaring spelling or grammatical errors to spoil it. It was written in an easy-to-read but not simplistic way.

The best thing for me was that Frost Deejn doesn’t spill the beans right away, but keeps the mystery going throughout. For example, you have to wait until the end of chapter 4 to discover that one of the women is actually Sara Sidle, and it’s another few chapters before you can finally piece together what she’s doing in Miami, and how she got involved in the case. It actually read like a TV episode, each chapter made up of short scenes which slowly pieced the whole thing together.

Would I change anything about the story? The penultimate chapter is a conversation between Horatio and Sara that is just so well written. It starts with Sara thinking about Grissom and Vegas, and what she ought to do, then Horatio joins her and they talk about their work as CSIs, what drives them both, why Sara has left Vegas, what her plans are for the future – and then they end up kissing. I have to say that in my world, this is just so, so very, very wrong!! But – it actually worked OK in this context, in this story, and didn’t seem cheesy or out of place in any way at all. So no, I wouldn’t change even that bit.

I found this story in my usual way – that is, I usually check out the CSI stories (especially Miami) on FanFiction.net every couple of days just to see what’s been added or updated, and see if anything catches my eye. And this one did – I don’t really know why. I think maybe it was the mention of both Horatio and Sara in the same summary. She’s never been one of my favourite characters, but I’ve been trying to find out some more about her lately, for various reasons, and I have to admit that this story actually made me begin to like her a little bit!

I know that I can always learn something from other people’s work, and this story was written in a way that I would like to be able to write one day. I’ve said before that I would like to be able to write case-based stuff, and if I can do it half as well as this woman, I'll be happy! I would guess that Frost Deejn does some good research, and I think she has a talent for putting together quite a good piece of mystery writing.

There are some stories I think I would really like to read, but some are VERY long, and I just look at the word count and wonder if I'll ever have time to read it! I really must try, because I'm sure that reading some good, long, well-written stories would help my own writing.

Other favourites? There are lots of them, but I’ll just mention a couple. I’m part way through a couple of longer stories that I’m enjoying. One is “Getting there” by Mtwapa, which is about Horatio and Marisol’s relationship, filling in all the bits between their brief ‘public appearances’ together on the TV! It’s a story I had planned to write myself, but she’s doing such a good job of it that I probably don’t need to bother!

One of the best short stories I’ve ever read is another one by Frost Deejn called Needle in a Haystack. It’s just 200 words on how the Miami team would each going about finding the proverbial needle. It’s really short, only 200 words, but it made me laugh – it’s a clever idea very cleverly written.

Leni​


​
 
Hi all,

I just wanna let you guys now that I really appreciated you're critiques on my story last week :) and I've not disapeared (I have the whole thing for this week saved on word, but I've got to add a little to it so it probably wont be up until tomorrow-sorry I know it'll be Monday, but I want to show I still like being part of this amazing group:D)
I've just had wayy too much going on recently, and my best friends being deployed to Afghanistan and I'm not dealing with that very well, but things should settle down very very soon and well, then I'll be back properly.
Umm, and also Jodie, I owe you two reviews for your newest fanfics, they were fantastic, especially Delusion I loved it. I feel awful that I havent reviewed or spoken to you in like ever, but it's gonna change, veryyy soon.
I'll be back with this weeks assignment soon.

LeAnne xx
 
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CSI Critique Fanfiction # 22: CSI: Miami. E/C. “A Simple Sign.” By: Adorelo


Sorry I picked you without warning this week Jodie. I really liked this when I read it though and I figured since I had to do a story this week anyway why not. I hope you don't hate me for it.

Also hon, you mind doing the best TQ answer for week 20? I can if you need.


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TQ: We talked about our favorite authors in fanfiction last week. It was a good experience for all of us I think. So... now we should talk a bit more about favorites. What does an author have to do to write a story worthy of your favorites list? What does a story have to have to be better than any other? Is it a special something? How do you decide?


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Please read and critique this week's featured fic.


Please offer fictions up for critique for next week! We need one.


Be ready, after next week is the next “critique by challenge” project. Still accepting ideas for possible challenges.


You all have until Saturday to critique this fic. The next featured fic will be featured on Sunday, April 13, 2008.


Thanks everyone!
 
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lostladyknight said:
Sorry I picked you without warning this week Jodie. I really liked this when I read it though and I figured since I had to do a story this week anyway why not. I hope you don't hate me for it.

Also hon, you mind doing the best TQ answer for week 20? I can if you need.
Click to expand...

Haha, I seriously posted that like, an hour ago! I don't mind at all. I finally get feedback on an unedited fic. And I get opinions on the child that seriously took me about four months to create. He was hell on earth.

And yes, I will.

I just have to find it ;).

TQ Winner week 20

TQ: There's an old saying that a picture is worth a thousand words, as writers I know sometimes it's hard for us to ascribe to that adage. Still, sometimes we can say just as much in few words as we can in many. Tell me about how quantity and quality correlate in fanfiction. Tell me about writing quality stories with few words just as using many.

Answer: Usually, when I’m writing a CSI fan fiction, I’ll only use procedures that I’ve seen on the show, just to have a basic idea of what I’m doing. I’ve also found that, when it comes to procedures in collecting evidence and such, I can use the knowledge I’ve gained from watching Forensic Files. I watch a lot of shows on TruTV (formerly known as CourtTV), so I get a lot of my procedural knowledge from that.

Now, when it comes to things that I may never have seen on any of these shows, like types of injuries or diseases that I want to afflict my characters with, I put a lot of faith in the internet (which isn’t always the best of ideas). If I can, I’ll go to the library and check out some books on the subject, because books are the best ways for me to get the information.

A lot of things are best learned from firsthand accounts of the subject, and that I also have an abundant amount of resources for. In the story that was featured this week, I used stories of my father’s withdrawal in order to get the best account of what it actually entails possible. I mean, I have experience myself, but not to the extent of his. It’s basically forgetting to take my birth control pill (aside from getting a head ache, I get my period… Warrick could only get the headache). My dad influenced the more serious symptoms that he suffered in the story.

As for what makes me know that I need to do all this research, it’s very simple: I don’t know everything. When something seems a tad complicated, I think: what about it do I need to know? If I ever need to know something medical, my fingers are usually itching to type WebMD before I can think twice. I’ve learned that when it comes to any disease, I can learn everything I need to know there. And if I don’t know the name of the disease, or want a disease that fits the symptoms I want the character to have, I can just click on symptoms until it gives me a decent disease (not that I think any disease is ‘decent’). By decent, I mean that is simple to describe, only entails the symptoms that I’ve described so far, and doesn’t give me a headache trying to read (seriously, I’d rather have lung cancer than tuberculosis…).

Also, I’m pretty obsessive when it comes to research. I see that LLK has revealed that she had a troubled past. I would like to say that I, too, have had a bad childhood, but definitely not to the extent of LLK. I was not abused by anyone, but, rather, lost a sister at the tender age of four. It was a very scary time for my family, but it introduced me to the shitty aspects of life very early. From that event came the learning of many things, such as the procedures in putting out a fire, investigating suspicious circumstances, growing up in therapy, medications, and everything along those lines that you can possibly think of. I always research the meds that my doctor prescribes me, and the disorders I’m diagnosed with. It’s always refreshing to see that CSI has done severe Bi-Polar Disorder in the past. Though I’m nowhere NEAR as severe as the victim on the episode, I know what it’s like to have it to an extent.

Oh, my favorite thing in the whole world is researching laws in different states </sarcasm>. It’s so hard finding viable sites on the internet, and I’m usually only able to do research on this type of thing at midnight, when the library is closed. Nevada is probably the hardest state to find laws on (at least for me) because of how lenient it is because of cities like Las Vegas and Reno. You can’t get a decent set of laws without them being different the next county over.

What I actually do love researching is music. I have the basic idea of what kinds of music the characters on CSI like, and go from there. I’ve looked up certain artists to find out if they have any new music out that follows my timeline, and then I’ll place an inconspicuous mention of the song in my story. Or I’ll just say that so and so is playing on the radio when the car starts. Stuff like that. -- Amanda Ruth
 
So I just wanted to stop in and give everyone here the ol hidy-ho. Or, a hello. Anyway... fair warning... I might not be around much in the next few weeks. I'm going through something of a family crisis/emergency and while I hope to be able to be here for the FCG it's honestly pretty low on my list of priorities right now. I am going to try not to let it effect my internet life, or the FCG, but you never know.

Sorry.

It might just be better for us, well me, if we change the update day. If we move it from Sunday to Tuesday or Thursday, I may be able to give it more focus. I'm sure we'll all work something out.

ETA:

Okay so in case I do have to take a sudden Hiatus from the FCG I'm going to let Jodie run it for the next few weeks. I'll still be here, doing the Best TQ, and all that. It's like we're switching roles for a while. (Unless something else comes up.) Just so that we can all get used to the way she does things in case she has to take over again.

So, until further notice we're kinda just switching places. :(

Just in case.
 
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TQ: We talked about our favorite authors in fanfiction last week. It was a good experience for all of us I think. So... now we should talk a bit more about favorites. What does an author have to do to write a story worthy of your favorites list? What does a story have to have to be better than any other? Is it a special something? How do you decide?

Oh boy LLK, your questions are getting more and more hard! They're very thought provoking...which makes his question hard to answer because I swear to God, I don't put a lot of deep thought into what makes a story one of my favorites, it just kinda happens. So, um, my answer won't be a deep one.

As for what an author has to do to write a story worthy of my favorites...first and foremost, and this is probably a very shallow thing to say, they have to write a romance story (or one that is action, drama, whatever combined w/romance) involving one of my ships. And I think it goes without saying that the story must be well written, plausible, and written for the most part, in character. No outright porn, and since I ship almost exclusively Eric & Calleigh right now...no sniveling simpering weak Calleighs, and no cavalier lady's man abusive Erics.

What does a story have to have better than any others...this is the hard part. I don't really know what to say. Um...as I said, it has to be well written, which I'm sure what constitutes "well written" can differ from reader to reader. I don't much care for 'song fics', so you won't find any of those on my list of favorites.

As I said above, the story has to have a believable plot, so you won't find any science fiction stories on my list of favorites (as stuff that happens in sci fi doesn't happen in 2008). And for the love of God, names have to be spelled correctly. Nothing will get me hitting the "back" button faster than seeing Calleigh spelled "Callie".

Um...as I said, the stories must contain romance, and can be romance with some other genre like angst. I don't mind angst, but there's a point where too much angst is TOO MUCH. Stories where the main characters go from one angst ridden incident to another wear me out, make me roll my eyes, and wonder 'what next?!'. And, they lose me...I give up reading it.

Oh yeah...for me, above all else, there must be happy endings. :)

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Critique:

Adorelo...as I said in my review when you posted this story on ff.net, I loved it! Absolutely loved it.

The story contained the elements mentioned above...Eric & Calleigh, romance, correct spelling of names, a believable plot, and a happy ending. So yes...this story was added to my list of favorites. :)

You did a great job creating Joe, you had the mannerisms and speech of a 4 year old child down pat. Do you have kids? In contact with young children to know how they would act or speak? If not, I'm impressed! It is so easy to picture Joe...curly brown hair, tanned skin...just like his father.

Plausible, believable story...you bet. Eric could very well have fathered a child in his careless anonymous sex days, and with an uncaring woman with questionable morals...heck yeah, it's not like Eric looked beyond the pretty face and hot body back then. The new Eric that has emerged in the past 2 seasons would definitely take on the responsibility of raising a child, loving that child no matter what the circumstances of his birth. And with Calleigh's deep bond with Eric, it is completely believable that she would support him, be there with him to help when needed, and love Joe as much as Eric. I love that Calleigh went to check on Joe as soon as she entered Eric's home.

I loved the part where Calleigh hears Joe crying and Joe confides that he wants a mommy. And I love that Joe tells her that he will draw her next time he has to draw his mommy. But the best part...that Eric was there to hear it all. He knows what Joe knows...Calleigh belongs with them.

And to my complete happiness, the story ends happily...Calleigh gives Eric the sign he's looking for to take their relationship to the next level. :)

I wanted to add...that I think it would be really great if this story continued. I don't know how you feel about sequels, but I would LOVE to read some more about Eric, Calleigh, and Joe.
 
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Jennifer said:
I wanted to add...that I think it would be really great if this story continued. I don't know how you feel about sequels, but I would LOVE to read some more about Eric, Calleigh, and Joe.
Click to expand...

I absolutely agree! This story is amazing. I loved it and I would love to read more.
 
CSI Critique Fanfiction # 23: CSI: Miami. E/C. “Sunrise” By: Jennifer


Jennifer was one of the only people to submit a critique this week! Where are you all? :eek: Don't forget you can PM me if there are any issues.


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TQ: Okay, we've done favorites and the like. Now, with regards to writing, how do you go about handling those old 'cliched' ideas? Be that marriage, death, a child; how do you make your story stand out from the others; do you, even? Any devices you try to implement or issues you try to steer clear of?


***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****


Please read and critique this week's featured fic.


Please offer fictions up for critique for next week! We need one.


Be ready, next week is the next “critique by challenge” project. Still accepting ideas for possible challenges.


You all have until Saturday to critique this fic. The next featured fic will be featured on Sunday, April 20, 2008.


Thanks guys! :D Good Luck!
 
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This fic is one of my favorites. It has everything that I like. EC romance, gentle Eric, cute Calleigh... The most important is that it`s romantic but not pathetic. I often don`t like marriage proposals in fics but this one was wonderful. Really great fic, in my opinion.
 
Oh Jodie, you did amazing.

I'm so happy. :)

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Best TQ Answer Week 22:

TQ: We talked about our favorite authors in fanfiction last week. It was a good experience for all of us I think. So... now we should talk a bit more about favorites. What does an author have to do to write a story worthy of your favorites list? What does a story have to have to be better than any other? Is it a special something? How do you decide?

Answer:Oh boy LLK, your questions are getting more and more hard! They're very thought provoking...which makes his question hard to answer because I swear to God, I don't put a lot of deep thought into what makes a story one of my favorites, it just kinda happens. So, um, my answer won't be a deep one.

As for what an author has to do to write a story worthy of my favorites...first and foremost, and this is probably a very shallow thing to say, they have to write a romance story (or one that is action, drama, whatever combined w/romance) involving one of my ships. And I think it goes without saying that the story must be well written, plausible, and written for the most part, in character. No outright porn, and since I ship almost exclusively Eric & Calleigh right now...no sniveling simpering weak Calleighs, and no cavalier lady's man abusive Erics.

What does a story have to have better than any others...this is the hard part. I don't really know what to say. Um...as I said, it has to be well written, which I'm sure what constitutes "well written" can differ from reader to reader. I don't much care for 'song fics', so you won't find any of those on my list of favorites.

As I said above, the story has to have a believable plot, so you won't find any science fiction stories on my list of favorites (as stuff that happens in sci fi doesn't happen in 2008). And for the love of God, names have to be spelled correctly. Nothing will get me hitting the "back" button faster than seeing Calleigh spelled "Callie".

Um...as I said, the stories must contain romance, and can be romance with some other genre like angst. I don't mind angst, but there's a point where too much angst is TOO MUCH. Stories where the main characters go from one angst ridden incident to another wear me out, make me roll my eyes, and wonder 'what next?!'. And, they lose me...I give up reading it.

Oh yeah...for me, above all else, there must be happy endings. :)


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Okay, I know I've been absolutely terrible about this whole critiquing process. I've had family things going on though. Every single weekend has been taken up by one family related issue or the other since my birthday weekend back in December. It's CRAZY! I could pull my hair out. But, at the same time I love them and it's pretty worth it, I think. Anyway... I'm here now and I'm going to try to take the next two hours before I have to check out of my hotel to write up a couple of critiques and TQ's. It's not fair to the featured authors that I've been so busy.


Week 22:


TQ: We talked about our favorite authors in fanfiction last week, it was a good experience for all of us, I think. So... now we should talk a bit more about favorites, what does an author have to do to write a story worthy of your favorites list? What does a story have to have to be better than any other? Is it a special something? How do you decide?


Answer: Well I'm very picky about what goes onto my favorites list, moreso even than who goes onto my favorite author's list. The reason why is because I know that other people will be investigating my profile from time to time and I know that one or two of them is bound to want to check my favorite stories out, maybe even read them. I don't want to have a favorite story in there that only has one element that suffices or that I like, I want those stories to have all the elements I'm looking for in fanfiction. I can enjoy a flawed story and quite often do, but that doesn't have to make it one of my favorites.


Really though I could make it a lot more simple how I choose. A story has to have that certain “wow factor.” Something that hits me and just stays with me, making an impression. CalleighD's fic that was featured a few weeks ago had it. It just... wowed me... .blew me away. It was such a simple story and I couldn't believe I'd liked it as much as I had. It was simply amazing.


Other things I look for:


Grammar.
Logicality.
Flow.
Does it make me feel?


Things that don't matter for a favorite story:


Genre.
Show.
Characters involved.


I do want the story to be a stand-alone piece that is really well written more than anything, well almost. That's all second to the previously mentioned “wow factor.” If the story has that and good grammar/mechanics to boot, well then it's worthy of being one of my favorites. I don't really discriminate because of 'ship or show. (Though I've been known to flame a Grillows fic or two, I know I'm horrible. At least I'll READ Grillows from time to time. Catnip repulses me so badly I won't even read it.) Well, I hope this will suffice. :)




Critique: I'll admit that when I first read this fic I rolled my eyes a bit. I've spoken of canon before and liking to stick with it, and how I don't like deviations from it. (Yeah, and I write a lot of oc's, go figure.) Well seeing Joe made me question if you'd fallen off of your canon rocker but you sure hadn't. Despite this being an “Eric has a kid” story it was actually really, really, really, good. :)


I liked, most of all, how you write him into Eric's life so easily. How you managed to make him fit into the CSI's life so perfectly like he really belonged there. It was like he was always an institution in Eric's life and it's going to be a little odd for me to adjust back to Eric not having a son next time I catch an episode?!? Lol, maybe not that far but you get what I'm saying. You made Eric being a father seem natural, easy, and right. That was wonderful.


One thing I didn't like, however, was the way you introduced some of the other new characters. While I liked how we just jumped straight into the story without much setup until later (kinda a middle, beginning, end order) I think that you might have misused that tactic a little at some points. I kept wondering who Mary was throughout the whole story. Maybe that was my own fault, maybe I missed something, but while I think I figured out her role perhaps a simple qualifier might aid in making her character mesh a bit more with the story. Just a thought...


Now because I picked on you for it a bit earlier I think I need to say that I love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, some cliched plot ideas and this is always one of them. The “character having a kid” plot idea, it's a good one. :) It always makes me smile and if delivered well, as yours was, this plot can be the best a/u type out there. You did a wonderful job here. This story had so much to offer. It was great, one of the best I've read in a while.




Week 23


TQ: Okay, we're done favorites and the like. Now, with regards to writing, how do you go about handling those 'cliched' ideas? Be that marriage, death, a child; how do you make your story stand out from the others; do you, even? Any devices you try to implement or issues you try to steer clear of?


(BTW, Great TQ Jodie!)


Answer: Oh joy. the old cliché, I could go on about cliches all day if you let me but I'm not going to this time. I guess I'll try to keep this answer short and sweet. I could always edit or something later if I want. At least for a few hours anyway.


Goodness knows I write a lot of cliched plots sometimes. I do go through phases where that's all I seem to want to write and you know what? I like it. Those stories are cliched for a reason, because everyone likes them. I'm a girly girl sometimes and I have to admit that I quite love the romance cliches. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.


How do I go about writing them? I don't know exactly. I do know that I have a Jodi Piccoult-esque cliché-doom type of thing going on. (I was doing cliche-doom before she ever did though.) I have a habit of introducing a new romantic interest, child, or some other character only to have something horrible happen to them, to cancel out the warm fuzzies they brought to the story. Abbie, my OC for Things Fall Apart, was supposed to be fired from working at PD and be removed from the story almost completely that way. Since I doubt any of you are even still reading that one, Jodie aside because she's my beta (by the by I have a chapter about 60% done so you should be expecting that by the end of the week, maybe) I'm going to share a spoiler. That particular story of mine is going to be one of those “she came and went leaving everyone changed in her wake” kinda stories, only that plot will be more subdued. She's leaving though... by the end of the sequel she's going to be gone just like she'd never come.


Also, sometimes when I'm writing a cliched idea I'll change it up a bit by using a less-liked character. I wrote an Ecklie/OC romance piece a while back to couple with one of my stories. It was actually pretty good, I should find it and re-post it. Uh... Archie sometimes gets to be the brunt of my cliched girly musings. Sometimes it used to be Hodges, though not anymore.


But really the way I deal with my own cliched ideas is turning them into something different as I get going. Most of my readers, by now, know to expect two things out of me. 1. doom. 2. hints of yobling. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad one but as long as they're coming back for more I don't know if good or bad really matters. Either way, I like to think that the readers really just don't know what to expect out of me and that's what makes my use of cliches okay, because they're never what the look like on the surface.


Critique:


This story was so short and I really wish it was longer. I liked the momentary glimpse into how he could propose, and it was perfect. But I wish there was more, lol. Like I wanna see him come to the decision that he has to marry her. I want to see him planning everything. I want to see how everyone takes it when they tell them. I wanna see them get married and how beautiful the wedding would be. So, I guess you have to keep writing that one. You're stuck. More little “glimpses” please. Ne-ow. :-D.


No, it was wonderful. While I wish it was longer and I do think that some things went a little too quickly, like her getting up or saying yes, overall it was great and had a real impact being as short as it was. :) Fabulous story, really.

ETA: (Said I'd finish, didn't I?)

So... as I was saying... the story was really fabulous. I'm having trouble coming up with things to say negative about people's writing these days. Have we all grown that much from the FCG? Surely it's not all on the FCG for things being so good lately, but I'd like to think maybe we had a hand in it. Anyway... I was saying that it was a bit rushed in places, maybe slow down and breathe as you're writing. Take each scene and spend an hour to reflect on it before you move on... maybe then the transitions won't be as rushed.

Really though... when you're writing something so sweet I don't think it really matters. I was grinning from ear to ear the whole time through so whatever you're doing is working. :)



Well, we're having a bit of a problem in the hotel and Caden (my 2 year old nephew) is kinda terrified right now so I'm going to go take care of him. Sorry. (See family stuff. Told ya.) I'll finish this soon when I'm back in Boone. (8 hour drive, so shouldn't be TOOO long from now. Heh) I'll finish though, promise.

Some of you might remember the above paragraph from before I edited this post to finish up my critique. Well, I wanted to explain it soyou all didn't worry.

We went to the beach for the weekend. My nephew, sister in law, roomate, and I. It was because Jess (the sister in law) and I are going through a really tough time right now. Family stuff is just... out of control crazy. So we decided to go out of town and just relax a few days. Boy, it did me some good.

Well Jess went out for a smoke this morning and I was getting us all packed up, Brittney (my roomate) and Caden were still sleeping. Anyway, I snuck on my laptop to critique (that's what I was doing :)) and then the fire alarm for the building started going off. Caden woke up and freaked out, started balling, and wouldn't be consoled unless I was holding him. So... I was critiquing, packing, and hugging my nephew all at the same time. Well the alarm went off AGAIN and Caden started sobbing. I decided that I needed to get him out of the room. Somewhere in the middle there Jess had come back but Caden was still so upset with her and at the whole situation that he wouldn't let go of me. (He's very attached to me anyway, and me living 3 hours away means we don't see each other often enough, so he's extra clingy when I'm around.)

So... that was the emergency. I had too many things to do at once and Caden always takes precedence in my life. He's *supposed* to be coming to live with me in the next few weeks. We'll see how that goes, I hope he does.
 
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So, yeah, I'm one of the guilty ones that seemed to have disappeared lately. Part of it was my health issues, which have been flaring and receeding in no particular pattern, making my life, um...interesting. :rolleyes:

I blame my absence partly on the new board set up, too, though! I used to get e-mails everything something new was posted in this thread, and now I don't anymore even though I set it up so that I do. Don't know what that's all about, but I'm going to try to get in the habit of just coming here all the time without being reminded so I don't miss anything else :thumbsup:

Looking forward to the challenge next week, too, whatever it turns out to be!


TQ: Okay, we've done favorites and the like. Now, with regards to writing, how do you go about handling those old 'cliched' ideas? Be that marriage, death, a child; how do you make your story stand out from the others; do you, even? Any devices you try to implement or issues you try to steer clear of?

I think the key when dealing with clichés is emotion. Marriages, deaths, children, proposals, and all the other “normal” events we include are emotional events, and that makes the difference for me each time I write (or read) about them. And yes, the basic emotions are the same: grief at a funeral, happiness at a wedding, joy at the birth of a child. But when you tell the story through the eyes of the characters involved it becomes more personal and even more emotional, because now you’re describing something that happened to a person (albeit a fictional one!). So that’s what I try to do; I get inside the characters’ heads and hearts, and show how the event impacts them.

Critique

Things to work on:
I applied my most critical eye here, partly because this was such a short piece and partly because I had to really look hard to find something for you to work on. The only thing I came up with was the part where Eric and Calleigh are waiting for the sun to rise. The “paragraph” you wrote turned out to be one giant sentence, and, which structured correctly, was a little difficult to read. If you had broken it up into 2 or 3 separate small sentences, it might have made that passage a little easier to digest.

Things that were good:
Your grammar, spelling, sentence structure, flow, and readability (with the exception above) were all great. If there’s a mistake in there, I didn’t catch it and I suspect that’s because there isn’t one. Your descriptions are wonderful, and just the way I like them myself: detailed without being wordy, descriptive without pulling out the “SAT words” (you know, the ones that you have to look up in the dictionary because you only see the on the SAT). I could picture everything so easily in my mind that it was almost like I was watching it. The characterization, too, was great. We don’t officially know anything about Calleigh in the morning, but your depiction of her as an I-need-my-coffee kind of girl fits well even with her perky personality. And Eric was so incredibly sweet, something we know him to be when he wants to, and here he clearly wants to! And I particularly liked Calleigh’s willingness to go along with his plan, even though it was early and she was tired and he wouldn’t tell her where they were going. It shows the trust they’ve developed both on the show and in your fic, but is subtle enough that the reader might not even pick up on it consciously. Nice job!
 
TQ: Okay, we've done favorites and the like. Now, with regards to writing, how do you go about handling those old 'cliched' ideas? Be that marriage, death, a child; how do you make your story stand out from the others; do you, even? Any devices you try to implement or issues you try to steer clear of?

I don't mind reading cliched stories, and sometimes I like writing them ;). But if I'm writing them, they need to be well written and not overly sappy.

You know, really to me, stories about marriage, death, or the birth of a child aren't cliche, but when they're written so completely sappy that the characters are Mary Janes, there's incessant emotional crying, or over the top marriage proposals/handling of grief/birthing, then they're cliche.

I try to not make my stories over the top or sappy. I certainly don't want my readers puking up their lunch, or getting cavities from sappiness. Nor would I want a reader groaning at sappiness and hitting the back button, or the little x in the top right corner.

Another thing is that I try not to write something thats been done over and over again or that the characters wouldn't do...like Eric & Calleigh having sex in the Hummer...which I've read a few times involving other CSI:M characters and personally believe neither Eric or Calleigh would EVER do since it isn't their vehicle and is for work. Or marriage proposals where the man produces the little black box over a fancy dinner and champagne and then drops to one knee to 'pop the question' while the woman acts completely surprised and little tears fall from her eyes as she exclaims "Yes!". Ho hum. Or a birthing scene where the woman tells the man "see what you did to me!" or "you did this!" as she's in the throes of the pain of giving birth.

Which brings me to Sunrise...yes it was a marriage proposal, and i hope it wasn't too sappy. I'll be honest here, I didn't set out to make it about a marriage proposal, I just had the idea to write the two of them watching the sun rise on a beautiful morning. The marriage proposal came to me while I was writing it, it just seemed so natural to include it there...Eric becoming so overwhelmed with how much he loved Calleigh that he suddenly blurts out the proposal, not having planned to do so, something completely spontaneous but something that felt so right to him that even after he'd blurted it, he didn't second guess himself.
 
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