CSI Fan Fiction Critique Group.

*TQ*
Usually, when I’m writing a CSI fan fiction, I’ll only use procedures that I’ve seen on the show, just to have a basic idea of what I’m doing. I’ve also found that, when it comes to procedures in collecting evidence and such, I can use the knowledge I’ve gained from watching Forensic Files. I watch a lot of shows on TruTV (formerly known as CourtTV), so I get a lot of my procedural knowledge from that.

Now, when it comes to things that I may never have seen on any of these shows, like types of injuries or diseases that I want to afflict my characters with, I put a lot of faith in the internet (which isn’t always the best of ideas). If I can, I’ll go to the library and check out some books on the subject, because books are the best ways for me to get the information.

A lot of things are best learned from firsthand accounts of the subject, and that I also have an abundant amount of resources for. In the story that was featured this week, I used stories of my father’s withdrawal in order to get the best account of what it actually entails possible. I mean, I have experience myself, but not to the extent of his. It’s basically forgetting to take my birth control pill (aside from getting a head ache, I get my period… Warrick could only get the headache). My dad influenced the more serious symptoms that he suffered in the story.

As for what makes me know that I need to do all this research, it’s very simple: I don’t know everything. When something seems a tad complicated, I think: what about it do I need to know? If I ever need to know something medical, my fingers are usually itching to type WebMD before I can think twice. I’ve learned that when it comes to any disease, I can learn everything I need to know there. And if I don’t know the name of the disease, or want a disease that fits the symptoms I want the character to have, I can just click on symptoms until it gives me a decent disease (not that I think any disease is ‘decent’). By decent, I mean that is simple to describe, only entails the symptoms that I’ve described so far, and doesn’t give me a headache trying to read (seriously, I’d rather have lung cancer than tuberculosis…).

Also, I’m pretty obsessive when it comes to research. I see that LLK has revealed that she had a troubled past. I would like to say that I, too, have had a bad childhood, but definitely not to the extent of LLK. I was not abused by anyone, but, rather, lost a sister at the tender age of four. It was a very scary time for my family, but it introduced me to the shitty aspects of life very early. From that event came the learning of many things, such as the procedures in putting out a fire, investigating suspicious circumstances, growing up in therapy, medications, and everything along those lines that you can possibly think of. I always research the meds that my doctor prescribes me, and the disorders I’m diagnosed with. It’s always refreshing to see that CSI has done severe Bi-Polar Disorder in the past. Though I’m nowhere NEAR as severe as the victim on the episode, I know what it’s like to have it to an extent.

Oh, my favorite thing in the whole world is researching laws in different states </sarcasm>. It’s so hard finding viable sites on the internet, and I’m usually only able to do research on this type of thing at midnight, when the library is closed. Nevada is probably the hardest state to find laws on (at least for me) because of how lenient it is because of cities like Las Vegas and Reno. You can’t get a decent set of laws without them being different the next county over.

What I actually do love researching is music. I have the basic idea of what kinds of music the characters on CSI like, and go from there. I’ve looked up certain artists to find out if they have any new music out that follows my timeline, and then I’ll place an inconspicuous mention of the song in my story. Or I’ll just say that so and so is playing on the radio when the car starts. Stuff like that.

Man… I thought I was writing a TQ… this turned into an essay! I do apologize for the length… and I really hope I answered the question in it.
 
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somehow I got this posted before I was done with it...and I can't figure out how to remove the post
 
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TQ: Sometimes we write about subject matter that we don't have a lot of experience with. How do you go about addressing these issues? What makes you know when and how to do research for a piece? Which resources do you use?

Well this answer will be short! I don't think I've ever written a piece that contained subject matter I had no experience with...save the last project we did here where we had to write characters we've never written before (which was hard for me because CSI:M is the only CSI show I regularly watch). This is mainly due to time constraints. I can take the time to write short stories that are pure fluff because no research is involved (and it suits the genre I write...romance!), but I don't even bother to tackle longer stories, with or without chapters, because I'd have to take the time to come up with a CSI case and do research about it and investigating it. Perhaps one day I will have the time to devote to such a project...and when that time comes I'll be doing the research for anything I'm not familiar with...from certain crimes, how people react to such crimes (to include how a victim of such crime would normally react), and the methods used to investigate such a crime.

What makes me know when I'd need to do research...simple...if I write a story and I'm unsure of anything, I'd research the topic. No making stuff up. Even if I'd want to know how a dispatcher would call in a crime, or what a paramedic would say when calling in an injury, I'd look it up. Like "DB" for dead body", or "GSW" for "gun shot wound".

Resources to use...hard to say since I haven't written but one story that required research. When I wrote that piece for our last project, I was writing characters I didn't know, so I used one of the forums in Talk CSI and asked questions on the characters and their relationships. When the time comes and I decide to tackle writing an involved story, complete with a crime, I'll use what I normally use...Google, webmd.com, and I'll ask around for different websites I can use for CSI type research. Research may also involve looking up laws in whatever state my story takes place in. See why I don't write involved stories yet?! Research would take time! ;)

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Critique:

I was glad to see a story involving Catherine & Warrick. I admit I haven't watched very much of CSI:LV in the past couple years (actually last time I regularly watched was the season poor Nick was buried alive), but when I did, Catherine & Warrick (and Nick) were two of my favorite characters. I never shipped them at the time, but can see where they could possibly have a more personal relationship.

I like how you weaved that episode where Warrick made some bad decisions and got into some serious trouble (I actually did see that episode!) into the story, and told the after affects of what happened. The way you wrote his nausea and pounding headache seemed so real I could almost feel the pain along with him, including the dry heaves.

When Catherine told him he looked like hell, I could so picture the way he looked. And when you told about the things that happend leading up to Warricks downfall I thought to myself "yeah, that's why he acted the way he did". You seem to have a really good grasp of Warrick's character and the things that make him tick, good or bad.

I liked the long conversation they had over their relationship, opening up to each other about their feelings and misconceptions. I love how the story started out about Warrick and his transgression, but ended up about their relationship and them admitting that they loved each other...and uh...loved that part on the bed ;):drool:.

I'm not sure if you captured Catherine's character, I admit to not knowing it that well...so that's hard to comment on. I'll leave that to other reviewers.

On the whole I loved the story and didn't see any glaring errors...so I guess I don't really have any suggestions for future stories you write.
 
TQ: If I want to write about something I don’t have experience in, then I will research it. Of course, there is a limit to how far people can go with this so, in some cases, I will allow for imagination (for others, not me; I’m too obsessive). In the case of writing sex scenes for example, I don’t expect people to go out and try things they want to write about but I’m one of these old-fashioned folks who don’t like kids writing porn Sorry.

As for my own research, I live in the library. I’m lucky to own many medical journals and books; psychology and chemistry reviews and a variety of my aunts’ criminology books. My apartment seems to be a haven for CSI research. Of course there are areas I won’t have any in formation on and for that, I use books (I am very reserved about using the internet, knowing how much crap goes on it. I used it for a research paper on Cystic Fibrosis once; never again!). How do I know when to research? Well, I as myself, ‘do I really know what I’m talking about here?’ If the answer is ‘no’ or ‘not so much’ I’ll get off my butt and find it out. I have a habit of ringing up my friends who study the subject of interest and ask them. I’ve gone as far as to force my aunt to take me to the CDC field office before, but that wasn’t for fan-fic.

I *heart* research.

Critique:

I’m going to apologize in advance for the crappiness of this. I’m very sick and I’m trying to get it done before my aunt comes home and kills me for being awake.

I love Cath/Warrick even though I’ve only written one fic for them and that was for the challenge LLK set up. When I watch CSI, I actually only focus on scenes involving them (silly, yes).

First, I love the title. I’m a big fan of irony (in an angsty way, of course) and this hit just the right spot for me. I like the realization both of them went through, even though there wasn’t actually any realization there; they both already knew what they were realizing.

The content was great. I moved up to the North when I was almost a teen and we’ve lived in some pretty rough areas. I’ve seen, first hand, the effects of drugs. You captured Warrick’s withdrawals perfectly, and I thoroughly believed he was going through them. The fact that he was lightly joking in places (and Cath was mimicking) was also perfect, both trying to make the best out of a bad situation, trying to make it less dire. It was so human.

I liked how this highlighted the fact that they know each other so well; they can just read each other’s emotions. We see it all the time in the show and you brought that to life here.

I also like how you ended it happily, but not with the clichéd kiss, (something I seem to have to do in happy ending fics).

Areas for improvement? There never seem to be any so, from now on, I’m going to do what my English teacher used to do to us when she couldn’t find errors in our work; talk about what we can do to ‘further ourselves’. For you, erm, use of parenthesis. Yes, that will do. Maybe you could have used them with Catherine. I think Warrick was being very open because of his condition to using them with him wouldn’t have worked. With Cath, in the begging in, when she was still unsure of her position, they could have worked well. Maybe then stopping using them all together as she finds herself. Ha, random, but I over think things.

Again, I’m sorry this isn’t the most detailed critique, but if you’d like my expressed opinion on anything in particular, then please PM me. I promise to respond as soon as possible.
 
Alright, I was going to write my response to the critiques I got after Easter dinner tomorrow, but I have major writer’s block on “When Greg Met Sarah”, so I decided to do it now. Besides, they are just so wonderful, I had to do it soon, or I was going to esplode!

*Jennifer*
To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t always a Catherine/Warrick shipper. I hadn’t totally caught on to it until the beginning of Season 5, which is indeed the season you speak of in your critique. It was only after the fateful scene in the channel where I actually got their chemistry fully. Before that, it was Catherine/Nick or *gag* Catherine/Grissom *gag*. No disrespect to Grillows shippers… I just plain don’t like it.

Anyway, moving on… I think “Cockroaches” and “Lying Down With Dogs” were the hardest episodes for me to describe, not only because they had content that made me upset and uncomfortable, but because I’ve only seen them once (and I intend on keeping it that way… for now). But it was even more difficult because, while I was writing this story, I was mourning the loss of two seniors from my old high school to a tragic car accident.

Also, I’ve never experienced firsthand the feelings of withdrawal (unless caffeine addiction counts), but I was able to talk to my father about it. He was so open about what it was like to get off drugs, and it helped so much with my story.

To be honest… I never really understood how to describe the events leading up to Warrick’s stupidity in the two aforementioned episodes, but I was very confident with what I came up with. It took a day or so, but I guess it was just something that I always felt, so it came easily when it did.

About Catherine’s characterization… I’ll admit that there were points that she went out of character, as did Warrick. This may sound like an excuse, but it’s really just an explanation: there is no reason for them to be absolutely sane at a time like this. I mean, I know you didn’t question her characterization, but I thought I’d just put that out there.

Finally… I LOVED writing the scene on the bed. That’s probably my favorite part. What I didn’t like was having to write seven or eight thousand words to lead up to it! That was total insanity, and once again… I apologize for the length.

*Adorelo*
I hope you’re feeling better when you read this, but thank you for taking the time out to critique when you’re sick. That means a lot.

To your comment about only watching CSI for scenes involving Catherine and Warrick… I’m guilty for doing the same with Grissom and Sara. A little while after I started watching it, I noticed the chemistry between them, and suddenly they were the only characters I paid any attention to (which is probably which I missed the chemistry between Catherine and Warrick for so long). So basically I understand where you’re coming from and I can’t say I blame you.

It was nice to see a comment on the title of my story, mainly because I wasn’t exactly sure I had any irony in my story. The very end was supposed to be it, but I’m not sure that would actually classify as irony. I’m glad that you liked it.

And my main inspiration for the joking attitude that was present at points in the story was, once again, my father. No matter how distraught we get about his health, he always has something goofy to say that makes it alright (I, honest to God, still don’t know how the hell he does it). I swear, sometimes I think Matt Groening met my father and stole his personality to create Homer Simpson. My dad is the personification of that fat ignoramus (except my dad actually has an IQ that is above average). If this world didn’t have lighthearted people such as my father, we’d all be depressed drones constantly on the verge of jumping off of a cliff.

I think my favorite thing about the relationship between Warrick and Catherine is their ability to read each other and KNOW when the other is lying or what they are feeling. It is so beautiful and real, and it just makes me all tingly when something along those lines happens.

Yeah, the clichéd kiss… I did that in two of my stories… one of them is actually decent… but the other… well, let’s just say I’m rewriting it. I sometimes feel that the first kiss should be at the end of the story, if, for example, the story has no plot… then it should be, they talk, they connect, they express, they kiss, the end. But, if there IS a plot, the connection and kiss should happen somewhere around the climax of the story, and then the expression of how they feel should be around the end. But, that’s just me.

Finally – and this is probably going to confuse the hell out of most of you, but it must be said – I write my third person stories as if they are in first person (or at least I try to). I have lately been trying my hardest to keep from drifting from one point of view to another within one scene. If I do travel, and I catch it, I fix it as fast as I can. If this hinders my word count (which it usually does), then so be it. But that’s just how I roll. If I decided to change the way I write, I will do it the best I can.




Anyway, thank you all for the amazing critiques, and I can’t wait to critique some more.

Amanda Ruth
 
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Hi there. Sorry this is a bit late – it’s only just after midnight here in the England, so not too late, I hope! Not had a terrific week, and looking forward to some relaxing hols to get back on top of things. Anyway, here goes for this week...

TQ: Sometimes we write about subject matter that we don't have a lot of experience with. How do you go about addressing these issues? What makes you know when and how to do research for a piece? Which resources do you use?

I think that sometimes I don’t have much experience of anything I try to write about – I think I’ve led a very boring life! The last (and only) two fics that I’ve posted haven’t needed much research, to be honest – although I know now that I got one or two things wrong (nothing too serious though). I would love to be able to write some in-depth stuff, more “crimey” case stuff, but I really know very little about it, except what I pick up on the shows or other TV programmes. I certainly wouldn’t just guess or make stuff like this up, because someone will always know better and point out the mistakes! So – research? The library, when I have time. And I think I’d google whatever I want and see what comes up – although as someone already said, the internet is not always reliable. Trouble is, how do you then know what’s right and what’s not? And of course, research takes a lot of time, which, like most people, I don’t have! At the moment I have an idea for a story about a stalker, so as I’m on holiday this week, I’ve got time to start looking at stuff on the internet, old news stories, reports, and other articles and websites, etc.

Sounds a bit dorky, but one thing I do is, I have a file on my laptop where I write stuff down when I come across it, for reference later – like for instance, chemicals and what they do, legal bits and pieces, anything that I pick up on the internet, the TV or from books, or whatever other bits of info I think might come in useful later.

And of course, most importantly, I would ask you guys!! :D

Critique:
I don’t always get to see many CSI:LV episodes, but the episode where Warrick goes on a bender and Joanna ends up dead in his car has aired in the UK just last week, so it was really good to read this story right now. I haven’t seen the other episodes that you refer to, but it didn’t seem to matter as you gave just the right amount of detail for it to fit in and make sense. I thought the story was great; from what I’ve seen of CSI:LV I’ve always thought that if there wasn’t something between Warrick and Catherine, that there ought to be. I couldn’t believe it when he married Tina, but your story helped me to make sense of that, filling in some of the gaps between episodes I’ve missed.

Right now I can fully relate to your descriptions of Warrick pebble-dashing the porcelain – I’m still suffering the ill effects of taking an 8 week course of malaria tablets which my body hates!! :( So yeah, pretty gross, but spot on for realism! And from the little I know from a friend of my brother’s, your description of his withdrawal from the pills is right too.

The conversation between Warrick and Catherine was great too; you really made me think that if only the two of them had had this conversation before, they’d have saved themselves – and each other – a lot of heartache (but then the process wouldn’t have been nearly as interesting!). And I loved the smooching on the bed at the end – perfect! But the best bit was that you left the whole scene hanging, “to be continued...”

Couldn’t find anything to fault, so – not very constructive, sorry!

And yeah, I totally got the “Irony” at the end! :thumbsup:

Leni
 
CSI Critique Fanfiction #20: CSI Miami, Calleigh D, “Running” By: CalleighD


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Topic Question:


There's an old saying that a picture is worth a thousand words, as writers I know sometimes it's hard for us to ascribe to that adage. Still, sometimes we can say just as much in few words as we can in many. Tell me about how quantity and quality correlate in fanfiction. Tell me about writing quality stories with few words just as using many.


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Thanks for all the critiques for Amanda's story last week. She appreciates it, I know she does.


As for the broken rule regarding being featured. I know about it. I made an exception. IF you have a problem with it, take it up with me. Thank-ya kindly.


Please remember that critiques for this story are due by this coming Saturday.


The new featured fic will be featured on Sunday, March 30, 2008.


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Many apologies to Amanda_Ruth for not getting a critique up this week. I was going to work with a surprise “guest” critiquer but it didn't work out. If/when she and I can get together to have everything done I'll post that critique.


Also I think it's that time again.


Please tell me what you're liking and disliking about the way the FCG is run. Either on this thread or in private. I'd like insight.


Lastly I'd like to remind you all that the next “Critique by Challenge” project is only 3 more weeks away. I would like anyone who is interested to submit a few challenges to me via PM. I have a few ideas myself but I don't want to come up with something TOO hard this time.


Lots of Love to you all,


-LLK
 
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WARNING! WARNING! I wrote this TQ/Critique at three AM while coming down with a cold, but knowing me, this would be the best time to do it. If I didn't, I'd be doing it in Adorelo's condition... BUT! This isn't long... because I didn't have much criticism to make... without criticism... there isn't much of a critique... Great story, I loved it! Read on for the critique.

*TQ*
I’m not really sure exactly how to answer this question, so I’m going to wing it. If it doesn’t get right to the point… oh well, I answered it. You should be happy I did that with the little time I had (the critique I actually wanted to do). Seriously, I’m just kidding.

Getting back to the point, I’m going to refer to Irony, my most recent story, to answer this as best I can. Now, the original plan for that story was to be about 2000 words of angst morphing into fluff, which would have been a wonderful thing. But, somewhere along the way, it turned into 8000 words of angst morphing into fluff. The reason this happened, I believe, is that I like to add a lot of detail when I write a story (well, now anyway).

Sometimes, it’s easier to write dialogue without a lot of detail about what the character’s are doing, but other than that, I’m usually not satisfied with what I write unless I add a lot of detail to the scene… but not too much as to deter the reader from it. Setting the scene is good, but keeping the scene there is better.

I don’t know if that answered the question… but I’m really tired and positive I won’t be able to come up with a better answer later in the week.

*Critique*
You’d think, because this story is so short, that there wouldn’t be much to say… but when you get me started, honey, there’s just no shutting me up. *points to past critiques* ANYWHO!!! *giggles* Anywho… that’s a funny word that doesn’t exactly exist. Oh, well. Back to the critique:

I really liked this story, not only for its content, but for its absolutely wonderful quality. I’ve never been able to put an emotional inner battle into such perspective in less than a thousand words… let alone five hundred! It flowed so well, and just… wow. There was also the lack of spelling and grammatical errors that just made me smile, and made the story that much better to read.

Oh, yes… this is what I wanted to focus on… your use of the second person point of view. I don’t have much experience with it, but I know how difficult it is to write. I’m too afraid to post any of my second person stories, because none of them meet the standards that I hold to it. You, on the other hand, did it very well. I thought it made a lot of sense to be written that way, and it was absolutely perfect.

I think my favorite thing about this story, and the best part in general, was the way you wrapped it up in the end. The last word tied into every part of the story, helping it make that much more sense.

WOW! Will you look at that… my first combination TQ/Critique that didn’t pass one thousand words. Or five hundred. Go me.

Amanda Ruth
 
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LeAnne. I’m gonna expand o the review I gave you when you first posted.

I mentioned the fact that nothing seemed to happen and yet so much did and I’m goin to expand on that a little. When you look at the plot as a whole there is no action and it think It’s the lack of action that lets us focus on the emotions. If you’d have included a plot, the emotions would have been lost. You found a good balance.

I’m going to be really sad and quote myself:

I also liked the one-word paragraphs, they sort of summed up the content of the one that follows, but really link in with their predecessors. They made it poetic, almost; their flow making everything seem surreal, which I guess it is in her mind. Nothing fits.
Click to expand...
I’m also going to tap into my theatrical side to explain this. If this was in a script, it’d be very Brechtian techniques that you’ve used. You’ve managed to distance the reader , making them focus on the underlying messages of the story but still make the emotions very raw to them. And from someone who’s had to write scripts like that before, I’ll tell you it’s very difficult to do it as well as you’ve done.

In this, nothing fits. Everything seems to link together, but still be very different. And that really reflects her mind set, everything’s messy even though she tries to pretend she’s okay. If I was Calleigh, I’d run too. As much as it’s must be nice to have the love of two gorgeous men, I’d still run from the consequences.

I also noticed how most of the words you used were either verbs or nouns. I mentioned this in my review, but to me, it was as though she was trying to control the people in her life through her actions, that really came trough for me.

I loved this LeAnne :)

Improvement? Comma splicing errors in places:

You ran from your family in Louisiana, determined to make a better life for yourself, ran away from the job you loved when Hagen killed himself, the sound of the gunshot haunting you.

Could have used semicolons in some places instead.

Great work. I'll add my TQ later. I don't have much time.
 
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TQ: There's an old saying that a picture is worth a thousand words, as writers I know sometimes it's hard for us to ascribe to that adage. Still, sometimes we can say just as much in few words as we can in many. Tell me about how quantity and quality correlate in fanfiction. Tell me about writing quality stories with few words just as using many.

Wow...hard question. :eek: I'm not quite sure how to answer really. I guess that's what separates the 'okay' writers like me from the really great writers. When I write, it's just for fun and the thoughts just come out as I plan the stories out and then type them out. I don't sit down and actually think about quantity vs quality....I just write. Although, when writing and then editing what I write, I do think about how I've said what I've written, whether it sounds, or reads, good...does it convey what I wanted it to convey. Sometimes I'll remove whole paragraphs and shorten it quite a bit, sometimes I'll add more. It just depends on what I think of it as I go along.

Regarding writing quality stories with few words vs using many words, I think that boils down to how good the writer is. I'm guessing a really good writer can strike a good balance between quality vs quantity, knowing when too much is too much, when being so wordy makes the story hard to read. Or, knows how to describe a scene so well that the reader can easily imagine it as they read.

Kind of reminds me of a story I read once on a website where the author used so many 'big' words, or 'college' words, that the story came off ridiculous and quite bad.

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Critique:

Now that I've said that, wow...CalleighD...a damn fine job of striking a balance between quantity vs quality. You wrote a really good piece using few words. You described Calleigh's emotion and fear so well in it.

I like how you separate each little section with one word, and how each section is just one or two sentences followed by one short sentence, and then the one word. Easy to read, easy to visualize.

I like this part the most:

You don’t admit it but deep down you know you’re afraid of the unknown, afraid of taking a chance with the one person you want. Afraid because he makes you want to give him your whole life.

And you really do want to, but you just can’t.

I think that pretty much captures why Calleigh doesn't take the leap with Eric.

Characterization...you nailed it with Calleigh. Interesting how you said so much using so few words...kind of like Calleigh herself! ;) That woman can say so much with just her eyes and mannerisms.

Grammar, punctuation...didn't notice any errors, at least nothing that stuck out at me.

So, on the whole, a really good short story, full of emotion, said so much and yet so little. Good job! :)
 
TQ: There's an old saying that a picture is worth a thousand words, as writers I know sometimes it's hard for us to ascribe to that adage. Still, sometimes we can say just as much in few words as we can in many. Tell me about how quantity and quality correlate in fanfiction. Tell me about writing quality stories with few words just as using many.​



This is indeed a hard question. And maybe this is a cop-out, but actually, Jennifer’s answered it for me in the first paragraph of her response!! That’s just how I write and edit: does it make sense, does it say what I want it to say, or does it leave gaps that the reader might have trouble filling in? The answers to those questions determine both the quality and quantity of what I write (at least, that’s my hope and intention!!).​

Ermmm... what else? I think there are times when there doesn’t need to be a “plot” or “story”, as such, or too much descriptive detail, like in LeAnne’s story this week. You don’t need to know what beach, who else is there, what time of day, what she’s wearing, nothing like that. Calleigh’s running along a beach, full stop. That’s all you need to know. Any further information would have detracted from the point of the piece: Calleigh’s thought processes. So I guess that’s the secret of getting the balance right between quality and quantity: resisting the temptation to overdo things, and just putting in what’s necessary, and concentrating on the essentials for the piece to really “work”.​

Critique​


OK, I think I probably did this to some degree already in my TQ answer! You certainly did resist the temptation to put in too much detail – we really didn’t need to know anything else about the scene itself – and it worked beautifully.​

I found that I could totally identify with the way Calleigh’s mind was working (I do this myself out on long walks), skipping from one thought to another, in a seemingly random progression, but all linked one way or another. The single words between paras really linked and summed up the thoughts before and after – a great way to do this.​

And I usually find too that I don’t come to any conclusion either! Which is another thing that made it good – the fact that it wasn’t all worked out in the end, no decisions made, no plan of action drawn up.​

You really got Calleigh right too – I could almost hear her saying her thoughts out loud (if that makes sense!), and then see her giving up with a shake of her head as she realises she’s getting nowhere and will just have to leave things as they are. For now at least.​

Once again, no glaring spelling, grammar or punctuation errors, so... pretty damn near perfect! Thanks.​

Leni​
 
TQ: Well we all know that I can't write a short story for the life of me so I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to answer this question. I guess this is a cop out because I really can't answer it. Yes there are some stories that are just as good in few words as several but I guess I'm the last person who could be able to write in few words. I mean, I'm the kid with a 24 page update to a fic in the editing process right now.


I did learn a lot from this week's featured fic though. I found that I should have an appreciation for making a few words really count rather than going on and on about a certain detail. I think I'd like to sit down and take a stab at writing something similar to this. I want to find a better grasp on using the right words.


Critique:


Just as your story was short this critique will be as well. Can't help it. I just don't have much to say.


Really, I've finally found a way to be a woman of few words. There's only one thing that I've thought the seven or eight times I've read this story trying to come up with a good critique. It was simply compelling. I loved it. I usually find shorter stories to be a waste of time but not this one. I really, really, loved it. I grabbed my attention and kept it the whole time. I had an intense desire to keep going... it was just great.


It surprised me but it's one of my favorite stories we've ever had featured here. I'm not even kidding. For as simple as it was, I loved it. Loved it. I really don't know what else to say... I can't find much, if anything, wrong with it. I mean... it's even a Miami story and you have me absolutely in love! Really.


I wish I had written a more constructive critique but I didn't. Sorry. :(




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This week we're doing something different.


CSI Fanfiction Critique Group Week 21


You're getting a challenge this week. I've had it planned a while so don't yell at me. I think that this could be really interesting and we could all learn from it. It's not going to be THAT hard.


I want you all to go and find your absolute favorite CSI Fan Fiction and tell us about it. I want to know specifics though.

  1. Why do you like it?
  2. If you could change anything what would it be? Would you even want to change it?
  3. How did you find it?
  4. Has it changed your writing in any way since you discovered it?
  5. Do you have any other favorites? What are they?
IF your favorite fanfic happens to be one of your own that you've written, well you're allowed to do that. Just pay special attention to question 1. Just remember this had to be the best one you ever read. If you can't pick between two or three, you're allowed to do that too. IF you have anything more/less to say about it than the 5 questions above, that's okay. We'd like to hear everything you have to say.


Just have fun with this one. The objective of this exercise is just to get us thinking more about what we LIKE about fanfiction instead of what we really don't like. I think we can all learn a lot from this, or so I hope. Please also keep in mind that you do HAVE to participate in this if you want to be featured next week. No exceptions will be made.


Please PM me if you want to be featured next week. :)




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Please keep in mind that just as any other week you will have until Saturday to complete this.


Next Week's Featured fic will be featured on Sunday, April 6th, 2008.


Thanks for your open minds everyone. If you REALLY HATE this idea then we'll work something out.


3 more weeks until our next Critique by Challenge project, be ready!


-LLK
 
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LLK...I love this idea. And I'm doing mine early because I'm heading out of town tomorrow for a week and I'm not sure if I'll have the time to do this later on.

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I have a lot of favorite fanfiction stories, and there are three that stand out for me, three that I read over and over and over, much like I watch my favorite movies over and over and over. So, I’ll be talking about all three
Of the three stories, I think “Mirror Images” by Marmo and ABC Girl (on ff.net) edges out the other two as my utmost favorite. This story is a CSI Miami fic centered on a murder investigation and the relationship between Horatio & Calleigh, which isn’t even my favorite ship on that show (Eric & Calleigh hold that place of honor!), but still this story is so well written that it blows me over every time I read it.

"Mirror Images” is a multi-chaptered story in which the team investigates the murder of a local socialite in a secret deviant sex club above a popular nightclub. The thing that ties this socialite’s murder to Calleigh and her relationship with Horatio is surrendering. The socialite surrendered to an S&M type sex game with two men who tied her up and then had their way with her, and during this sex game she dies of asphyxiation. Because of her upbringing, the abuse at the hands of her father, Calleigh is disturbed by the whole scene, at the fact that the woman felt the need to surrender to such degrading treatment. This ties into Calleigh & Horatio’s relationship when Horatio learns from Calleigh that she is a virgin…she has yet to fall in love with a man she trusted enough to surrender her heart to. Through the story, the investigation, Calleigh realizes how much she loves Horatio and learns to trust him enough to surrender her heart to him.

I’ve said before that I am a hopeless romantic, and the stories I choose to read are mostly romance stories…and this story does not disappoint in that department. The authors wrote the romance so sensually, especially the parts where Horatio & Calleigh make love. They wrote Calleigh’s sexual awakening so darned well, gradually, from beginning to end. They didn’t just have her leap into a relationship with Horatio; instead it is one that grows to and beyond the culmination.

I wouldn’t change anything about this story…well, okay…maybe I would add more lovemaking…but that’s it. ;)

The other two stories that I love are “In Short Measures” by Jessica237 and “The Chlorine Comeback” by singingstarryknights, both found on ff.net.

"In Short Measures” is another CSI Miami story that is a series of snapshots into the life of Eric, Calleigh, and their daughter Emma. Each snapshot takes place roughly about a year apart, starting with the night Emma is born and ending with the day she graduates from Kindergarten. Jessica is a phenomenal writer and I love her work, but what I love about this story are the little moments, the little pieces of Eric & Calleigh (heretofore known as E/C or E/C/E for Eric, Calleigh, Emma ;)).

On the day Emma is born Eric, having gone to the store for doughnuts, returns to the hospital and stands in the doorway gazing at Calleigh as she holds Emma, and he thinks about how he has the family he’s always wanted, and there is an enormous E/C bonding scene with their daughter. In the next chapter Emma is two and while Calleigh is out with the girls, Eric has a day with her. Calleigh comes home to find the two of them asleep on the couch with their puppy…Eric on his back, Emma curled up nest to and attached to him, and the puppy asleep on top of Eric…and the snapshots she takes of them are a moment frozen in time, pure E/C…or E/C/E. The third chapter has Eric putting Emma to bed, reading her a story and helping to scare away the monsters hiding in her closet, and again there is an E/C moment at the end as they gaze at their daughter. In the 4th chapter Emma is about 4 years old and spends a day at the beach with Calleigh…Calleigh afraid for her to go too far in the water, or go under with her snorkel and mask, but Emma wants to dive and submerge to see what’s underneath…just like her father. Eric does join them and they watch as a wave approaches and she dives under the wave with her little snorkel…just like her father. Again…E/C/E. The 5th chapter is a little slice of dessert, heaven…Emma spends the day on playdate at a friends house, while Eric & Calleigh enjoy themselves for an ‘afternoon delight’, where they talk about having another baby…Calleigh apprehensive, but Eric convinces her to let go of her fears. The last chapter is Emma’s kindergarten graduation where it comes full circle for them. Calleigh is pregnant with their 2nd child and a little boy has a crush on Emma. This story is 6 chapters of pure E/C goodness, little snapshots into their life outside of the lab.
What would I change about this story…nothing.

The Chlorine Comeback takes place after the ‘Broken Home’ episode where Eric first comes back to work after being shot. In the episode Eric makes a mistake that results in some of the evidence being no good. In the story he goes to the pool at the University and swims, specifically trying the butterfly stroke, in an effort to calm himself, take his mind off the day. It’s 3am and Calleigh finds him there. Once he discovers that she’s there they have a little talk, Calleigh sitting on the pool ledge, feet dangling in the water, and Eric standing in the pool in front of her. Their conversation is very sweet and Eric opens up to her about how he feels, and they end up kissing for the first time…their shared concern and love for each other comes out and they are drawn together in a kiss, as if it were so natural to be doing so. It’s not a ‘pent up passion is released’ kiss, but one that comes very naturally.

Most of all I love this part of the story…where Calleigh’s feelings about Eric being shot are brought to the surface…

"I don’t want to lose my badge."

"You won’t.”

“Or you.”

"You won’t lose me, either.” He closed his eyes, cringing at the sweetened affection as she pressed a kiss to his head, her lips lingering for several seconds before she pulled back, the tears making her eyes sparkle in the warped shadows of the lights beneath the surface of the water. Her constricted sob echoed sharply in the enormous room, and her hand came to her mouth, stifling it. He straightened, giving her a questioning look, but she shook her head, attempting to dismiss his concern.

“Calleigh-”

“We thought you had died, Eric.” She curled down to him, touching her forehead to his, unable to stop crying. “It came over the shortwave, like an ABP. ‘Officer down, possible 419.’” He frowned, reaching up to brush away her tears. “Ryan and I were almost to the hospital when they identified you on the radio, Eric. Dispatch announced it like they were telling us the weather. Ryan panicked, and I had to keep it together, I was driving, but he had to grab the wheel, my hands were shaking so badly. The cars on the road, they were blurs, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t speak. We barely made it through losing Tim, and we only survived because we had each other. I couldn’t lose you, too.”

“I’m okay, Cal. I’m right here."

“For almost twenty minutes, I thought you had left me all alone. I’ve never been so scared in my life.” Her voice had diminished to a whisper, hoarse and heavy with worry and fear.

He had always suspected Calleigh Duquesne had the capacity for such emotions, but their presence on her usually calm, collected features frightened him, and he pushed himself up on his elbows, forearms flat against the cement edge of the lane, crashing his lips into hers. After a moment, he asked permission, tilting his head to the side and pulling at her lip when she let him in.

Calleigh’s feelings about what happened to Eric were never really explored on the show, and this story fills that need so very nicely.

And as with the other stories, I wouldn’t change anything. It’s perfect the way it is.

Reading stories this good does give me the motivation to improve my own writing... every part of it, from the plot to the dialog, to the emotions and setting of the scene. They also make me want to do better when it comes to writing love scenes, mature and non-mature rating. I strive to write them as sensually as they do. But it is so very hard to do.

All of the stories can be found on ff.net, and thats where I found them.
 
Love this idea LLK. I'll do mine later on. I've just got back from vacation.

Great plan, I now need to decide on favorite fics :rolleyes:
 
Well I figured that it was about time that I sat down and started to do this whole favorite story project thing too. It's going to be a lot harder than I initially intended.


First I'd like to state that the best fanfiction I've ever read was one done by a girl I had the good fortune and luck of becoming friends with after I'd begun reading it. It was called “Serendipity” and was written by fanfiction.net's one and only Januarynineteen. Unfortunately she as since demolished her profile and removed the story. I was very dismayed when I heard the news.




“Serendipity” by Januarynineteen:


The story was about a 'ship that I only support in passing because my friend Hanna does and it gives us something to connect over. It details the slow breakdown of Nick's ability to resist is attraction to Sara. Seven or eight chapters passed before they kissed. It took twenty, if I remember correctly, for them to move past the kiss. It was just so well written. She had a wonderful command over the English language. Plus she really knew how to tell a story. Nothing was rushed. Nothing felt like it took too long to happen. And when she finally did write their first physically romantic scene she wrote it as awkward and stumbling, like most experiences with a new partner are.


The only thing I would change about it from where I stand right now is that it's no longer available to the public to be read. Anyone who has ever read her stuff remembers it and always has good things to say about her. I just wish that I could find that story somewhere and link you all to it. Even as a ship I'm not whole-heartedly supportive of it was still the best fanfiction I've ever read. So, again, that's what I'd change. I would make it so that people could read it now.


I don't remember how I found the story. I go through phases where I like to read stories about certain characters. I believe I was in a Sara phase that week and was happy that I'd found something that wasn't GSR. It's not that I overly dislike GSR I was just looking for a change of pace. It's like after reading so many stories with the same plot you just... want something a little different.


Though it didn't really effect my writing of fanfiction in any significant way it did effect my view of it. The girl writing this was a young teen and it just surprised me that she had so much skill. From that point on when I saw that people were 14, 15, 16, I didn't write them off as bad authors until I actually read a few of their pieces. Skill doesn't always come with age.


“The Tail End” by CSI Clue:


Though I'm not sure if I've even ever reviewed this story was one of my absolute favorites from the first moment I read it. Though it's not without flaw it's one of the most wonderful stories I've ever seen. It is the life story of Grissom and Sara's dog told from his perspective. That's right, from the dog's perspective. Though this sounds silly it was well put together. It's just a great, unique, piece with a lot going for it. The writer had this amazing grasp of what it was they were trying to depict. Really... it was a great story. I'd suggest it to anyone who happens to be looking for a good lighthearted read.


“Two Simple Words” By Losingintranslation:


Waring: R Rated Content.


Perhaps it was because she told me this piece was in the works several weeks before it was finished and I had to wait for it or something, I don't really know. But I love it. Losingintranslation is one of the best YoBling writers out there. I think that if I was really going to sit down and think about it I'd think she's the best. This story, of course, doesn't fall short of her reputation. While I don't know if many of you may not have heard of her, you should have. She's simply the best out there in fanfiction writers. She's my fanfiction everest.


What do I mean by that, you ask? And why aren't I talking about the fic? Well you'll have your answers in due time.


By my everest I mean that once upon a time I was asked who/what my writing everest was. Who did I most respect as a writer? Whose skill was it that I'd be trying to live up to for the rest of my life? Well Gregory Maguire's “Wicked” is one book I know I'll never surpass in writing skill, though I'll try for the rest of my life. Losingintranslation is the fanfiction author that gives me the same sense of challenge.


Now... about the fic. It's Warrick/Catherine, which being my favorite 'ship you'd think I'd have more of on my favorites list. The problem is that so few people do a decent job writing this 'ship. Or do a decent job writing the stories in which they decide to include this 'ship. Anyway... this story starts out in one of the rooms of a Sam Braun owned hotel/casino. Catherine's having a hard time and a bad night and after a few too many drinks is transported back to Warrick's house for safety. They share breakfast and conversation and one thing leads to another in a way I often imagine Warrick and Catherine being alone in a room with a bed near by would. It doesn't sound like anything special but given the source its coming from, it is. LIT is one of the best authors ever to have graced the fanfiction world. :)


“Running” By CalleighD.


I wasn't kidding when I said I loved it. Anyone who didn't read last week's featured fic, read it now. It was the only CSI Miami fic that will probably ever even have a hope of being on my favorites list on ff.net. I won't put just anything on there. It takes a very special story that leaves a very deep impression on me. Miami just doesn't ever do that. Well except this fic. This one was absolutely wonderful. I don't feel like I have to talk about what it is being that it was JUST featured in the FCG like last week just go read it if you haven't. You're missing out on an amazing piece if you don't read it.




I guess this ended kinda abruptly. I was going through my list of Favorites on fanfiction.net and these were the only ones that really made me go “this one I have to talk about.”


I'm going to leave off with some writers that I think have done a remarkable job writing fanfiction, even if the stories aren't my absolute top favorites.


Losingintranslation- go read her stuff right now. I'm sick of you guys reading my talking about how good she is. Just go read it all. It's all amazing.


Racefh853629- Though her chapters are often short and to the point her stories are always pretty exciting. As an author, I love her. I can't get enough of her work and I'm always excited when I hear that there's another project soon underway. :) Go read some of her stuff too. She's the master of plot.


Bauerfreak- Another author worth mentioning. She and I have a few stories that we've co-written together and it's a pleasure to work with her. On her profile you can find “Cheaper By the Half Dozen” it's a/u Snickers. Though it's kinda absurd and Full House ish at times it's good. Her work is A/U a lot which I generally try to stay as far away from as I possibly can but somehow this author makes it work. And, I'm not just saying that because I like her. So if you ever want a good A/U story check out her profile.
 
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