CSI Fan Fiction Critique Group.

TQ: Okay, we've done favorites and the like. Now, with regards to writing, how do you go about handling those old 'cliched' ideas? Be that marriage, death, a child; how do you make your story stand out from the others; do you, even? Any devices you try to implement or issues you try to steer clear of?​

The thing with a cliché, it seems to me, is that it doesn’t usually seem like a cliché when I write it – it seems like a unique and novel idea that no-one else has ever thought of before! And then I read other people’s stories, and realise that actually, I’m not as original as I thought.​

But, frankly, so what? There’s nothing wrong with clichés. The reason they’re clichés is because they’ve been used so often, and the reason they’ve been used so often is that they’re good and they work and people like them. So yeah, I’m all for using clichés whenever appropriate.

The trick is making something personal and distinctive about the cliché you’re using, so that your story will stand out from the others. I think you have to add a twist, a little something, maybe something unexpected that takes the reader by surprise and makes them stop and think and maybe re-evaluate what they thought of originally as a cliché.​

Having said that, I also think that there’s nothing wrong with just using the usual old formula for something – like a guy going down on one knee in some romantic setting with “our song” playing in the background as he proposes to his girl. That’s the way it’s always been done, and let’s face it, most of us are probably old-fashioned romantics at heart!

And talking of romance and clichés:

Critique: “Sunrise” by Jennifer

This was just great. I can totally identify with Calleigh here; I’m a night owl married to an early bird, and I’m not sure anyone, not even him, could ever get me out of bed to look at a sunrise! So yay, well done Eric! He manages to get Calleigh up despite her protests, and she does what he wants just because it’s him, and even manages to get a bit excited and curious about what he’s up to. I think that speaks volumes about their relationship here.

It’s good that you put in the bit about their “day job” in the middle of it all, before “golden rays of the sun showed all that was seedy in the city of Miami, and they were both back to another day of work at the Miami-Dade Crime Lab.” It seems to bring everything back down to earth, and emphasise that this is just one special moment that will soon be gone.

I like too that you gave no hint of what was coming. He just wanted to show her a sunrise, to share something special with her. It’s almost as if his “Marry me” was a spur-of-the-moment thing, that he suddenly realised just what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to say it.

So yeah, old fashioned, romantic, clichéd, but... hey, so what? The girl said yes! What more could you want!

Leni
 
Thank you Leni, Zelda, LLK, and Marija for your critiques...good or bad I either learn from them or they give me the added boost I need to write more.

Leni...you hit the nail on the head...Eric's proposal was a spur of the moment thing that he suddenly realized that he wanted it, and in no way was afraid of taking that step with Calleigh.

Zelda...thanks for pointing out that run-on paragraph. I admit that is one of the main "don'ts" that I am guilty of, although unintentionally. It is a terrible habit. I'm sure I do it because I'm thinking as I'm writing and my thoughts just run on, like a run-on sentence. I caught myself doing that in the most recent story I wrote, and several times had to go back and fix it. I'm sure though that I didn't catch all of them!

LLK...yep, it was a bit rushed, although the proposal was spontaneous. I find that I go between both spectrums when I write...I either don't write enough, thereby making it rushed, or I write too much, making the story too wordy or, as I said above, full of run-on sentences.

I'd like to think that FCG has helped my writing, and I agree that sometimes it's hard to come up with suggestions for improvement, some of the writing is so darned good. I regret that there aren't more people here taking part in this, because there are some people writing stories that could clearly benefit from the experience.
 
Zelda, I hope you’re feeling better dear. You’re in my prayers :).

TQ.

Okay, I set a TQ I’m having trouble answering :lol: I’m a geek.

I handle the ‘clichéd’ ideas by trying to stay away from them. Unfortunately, as with most things, there are only a limited amount of avenues you can go down before you run out. Hence why clichés occur. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with clichés as long as they are handled well. The last thing I want to read is a story about how ‘Calleigh met Eric; they fell in love; they got married and they had cute babies’ with little more description than that.

If personal detail and uniqueness is implemented within the cliché (like Jennifer did), then I’m all set for reading.

Critique.

I loved this story. One of the reasons I chose it for critique was that I was interested in what others would think of it (that and few others wrote a critique).

I noticed the same thing as Zelda, the run-on sentence was the only real error I noticed. I actually think I spotted a comma splice somewhere but I can’t for the life of me work out where Haha.

Despite being out of canon, everything was in character. I could feel their emotions and I was smiling by the end of it. Normally, I just read the words. There are only a select few that can really capture and drag me into the world of the characters. I really want to call Calleigh and Eric up and say, “Congratulations!”

You know, I’ve read every single one of your stories. It sounds really silly of me to say ‘I’ve watched your grow’ (considering I don’t even know how old you are) but I that’s really how I feel. From your first posts, to your latest ones, I’ve noticed considerable improvements nearing the point of perfection. It’s wonderful and, suffice to say, I’m proud of you for no other reason than I know (and can see) how much effort you put into your work.

The challenge will be up later on guys, so if you’re posting a critique, get on with it :lol: teeheh. I’m excited about it. I hope you’re all set to get involved? Don’t hesitate to PM me if you have any queries or questions.
 
*TQ*

Whoever said that the TQs were getting harder was definitely onto something. But I have my country music playing so I should be able to do this with the same amount of depth that I've become accustomed to.

What I have become used to seeing in fan fiction (and which really depresses me, I must say) is that all thoughts of originality have been tossed out the window. I wish I could say otherwise, but I just can't lie. But, when I do come across that rare gem of a story where the flames of clichés have been stomped into nothing but embers, I can't help but smile. The fact that I have to call them 'rare gems' is upsetting, and I vowed (after my first two stories) that I would do whatever I could to destroy the clichés, no matter how my stories suffered in the process.

The first cliché that I took and beat to death with a blunt object was 'love at first sight'. If any of you remember When Greg Met Sarah - the first of my stories to be featured here - and actually remember what you read, then you may remember some dream sequences that I had. Well, by the end of chapter six, you get to see Greg discover that the woman in his dreams is not just a dream woman. She's a real person, and as of right now he is inexplicably falling for her. Now, this can obviously be misconstrued as love at first sight... and that's the whole point ^_^. My devilish little mind decided to have Greg fall in love with someone he thought didn't exist, and then magically learn (or just totally flip out with realization) that the woman does exist, and there's no going back: he's already in love.

The next cliché to suffer for ever existing was the 'secret admirer'. This story has never been featured, and I'm not telling any of you to read it. But you may want to if you don't like being spoiled. I got really bored on Valentine's Day, and decided to write a cute little Yo!Bling story for my friend. The product was a secret admirer story called Just A Little Fun. I had the admirer do something that at least I had never seen before, and according to some reviewers, they were forced to go back to the beginning to see if I had actually done what the story said I had done. It was quite entertaining to get reviews of how cute it was.

And, the final cliché that met an untimely death in my mind was the inevitable 'first kiss'. I have been fascinated with the concept of Yo!Bling since the beginning of season five - any fellow Yo!Bling shipper BETTER know what I'm talking about. I always found that moment profoundly wonderful, and have taken to writing about it every chance I get. When I wrote the second of my stories to be featured here, Irony, I didn't really know what was going to happen until it happened. As my story came to an end, I realized that the only idea I had for the first kiss was the annoying clichéd version. Then a thought struck me, and the ending that is now present in that story is the result ^_^.

Devices I implement... hmm... that's a toughie. *digs through brain* Ah, yes... my sarcastic attitude is usually how I come up with anything funny, because who doesn't love a little bit of sarcasm every once in a while? Come on, if you watch House, then you know you love sarcasm :D Another would quite possibly be that little personal experience bin people usually keep in the back of their subconscious. I'm usually not afraid to use my past experiences to come up with an idea, because it's usually the best way to do anything. If that makes no sense, too bad... I'm usually the type of person to confuse another until what I say finally makes sense ;)

Okay, the only issue I try to steer clear of is... ahem... smut... Yeah, it's really disturbing to have to read something that is terribly written, but when they take the liberty of writing smut into an already terrible story, that's what I like to call 'EPIC FAILURE'! With that said, I will never write smut. Some of the worst smut is written by fourteen-year-olds that (hopefully) don't have any experience in that kind of situation. I, a young woman approaching nineteen-years-old, am not ashamed to say that I am still a virgin, and that is why I will never attempt writing smut. I have no experience, therefore am the worst possible person to write such a thing. I also find it hard to even attempt without giggling profusely... so, yeah. :(


*Critique*

Okay, first of all, I would like to commend you for your superb story. I read this a while back when I first showed up in the critique group. *takes a break to dance in her seat to Settlin' by Sugarland* Ahem, anyway, back to what I was saying: When I first read this, I was so close to reviewing, but a previous engagement kept me from doing so. I was going to get back to that, but then it showed up here, and voile, special critique instead!

I'm going to start off with what I found wrong with it before I go onto the good, mainly because there is less to put here than there, and I don't have to think as much with this part. What I found was this:

'Calleigh startled'Yes... that is it... anyway, what I thought it should be is:

'Calleigh started'

Now, this could easily be just my opinion, and you meant to put 'startled' rather than 'started'. You are absolutely welcome to tell me this, and then I will shut up :)

Anyway, what I loved about this story was pretty much anything. You brought the out of work attitudes of Calleigh and Eric to a place I had yet to see. Calleigh being a cranky person in the morning was just too perfect, and something I totally expect from a woman like her. And Eric being a romantic... that's just amazing, because it's true. You can tell by how much he cares about his sisters that he would have a deep sense of respect for women in general (at least now that it seems his player days are over).

I must say that the scene on the beach was my favorite part of this story. It was beautifully written, and I could almost see the sunrise if I closed my eyes. I always hope that one day a man will care enough about me to do something like this!

Ahem... yes, the proposal. That was definitely unconventional. I usually hate the spontaneous 'Will you marry me?' in an intense moment of emotion, because usually the person doesn't have their head on straight when they ask. But something about the way you wrote it in seemed far too right for it to be at all wrong. I can only hope that this happens on the show... *prays for canon E/C*

Anyway, I absolutely adored this story, and I honestly can say that it is one of my favorites. Good luck on your future writing endeavors.

<3 Amanda Ruth
 
Adorelo...thank you, that means a lot. As for how old I am, lets just say that anyone, no matter the age, has room to grow. I'm certainly here at FCG to grow as a writer.

Amanda Ruth...I actually did mean startled. But it wasn't until I read what you said that I thought that perhaps it should have been started. I do remember reading stories where when a person is startled, it's said they "started". I looked it up on dictionary.com and it's right...definition says "to move suddenly". So yeah...it should have been "Calleigh started..."

Thanks so much, everyone, for the critiques!
 
It's challenge time folks. (Sorry this is a little late, I was out with my my cast (again)).

The rules (stolen from LLK's last post):

1. If you write a fic for the challenge you are obligated to write a critique for the fic you're assigned next week.

2. All challenge fics are due by Saturday.

3. Do not post any links here in the FCG that way we keep the element of surprise.

4. PM me a link to your challenge fic.

5. Have fun!

-----

The Challenge:

1. Word limit: 4000 maximum

2: Rating PG-13 or lower please

3. Incorporate your favorite song even if the character(s) wouldn’t listen to it.

4. The main character must be your favorite male character (any, spouse, friend, show character, child, ect.). You may involve other character(s) and you must incorporate an element of friendship in it.

4. Include the partial-line, “It was (It is (depending on tense)) stranger than fiction,” at some point in the piece. (ha, LLK, I liked this better than the last thing I had picked out).

-----

Once the fics are submitted to me, I'll pick names at random and assign a piece of work to everyone. Then we can get rockin'. Remember everyone's welcome in this challenge, even if you've not posted here before. PM me with any issues.

Good luck and have fun!
 
WooOooOOW I didn't expect this! I thought you were going with the other challenge. Still, this one's great! We should do the other challenge next time!

I'm so excited. I already have something planned for this!

Yay! (I'm really really really excited. I'm going to go start writing right now.)

-LLK
 
Actually, my idea changed a lot. But... it's still the same basic premise. It's an adaptation of one I've had plotting for a while.

Problably won't be very good though.

We'll see.
 
Favorite male character? Let's here it for the boys! :drool: And favorite song means I have to pick just one. That's gonna be tough...but I'll manage. Music seems to inspire a lot of my work, and I just put a bunch of new stuff on the ol' iPod so I know something will spark.

Glad I could help with the run-on thoughts, Jennifer. I have a tendancy to do the same thing in my first drafts, which is why I noticed it in your story.

And thanks Jodie dear for the prayers! I am feeling better, at least better than I was, and any improvement is a good thing. :thumbsup: Hopefully I won't have any (or, at least, too many) more relapses--I miss you guys when I can't get online!
 
adorelo said:
Remember everyone's welcome in this challenge, even if you've not posted here before.
Click to expand...

GASPAGE. That means I can participate. :lol: Er, I'm assuming there's some kind of due date? I haven't checked this thread in a while (I've been rather busy) so I don't know if there's a fixed timeline for these challenges. ETA: WAIT I FOUND IT! *waves a flag of success* SATURDAY! 1) I'm extra blonde today and 2) I'm half asleep at noon. Yes, point and laugh. I just found the entire thing quite comical because I had read over the rules several times and missed 'Saturday' everytime. If that's any indication of how my fic is going to go, God help us all. :lol:

Oh thank goodness I just bought an iPod so I can quickly find my favourite song. Took me long enough to get on the Apple bandwagon.
 
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speed_cochrane said:
Oh thank goodness I just bought an iPod so I can quickly find my favourite song. Took me long enough to get on the Apple bandwagon.
Click to expand...


I'm glad that's going easily for you... I'm having the hardest time picking a favorite song. And the way I've written this piece seems to almost exclude any possible way to work music in. I *do* have an idea but I'm not sure if it'll work yet.

I'm really glad for the upped word max though. I just hit 1700 words and I was pushing for just 2000, I couldn't possibly do it. 4000 was a good choice.
 
speed_cochrane said:
adorelo said:
Remember everyone's welcome in this challenge, even if you've not posted here before.
Click to expand...

GASPAGE. That means I can participate. :lol: Er, I'm assuming there's some kind of due date? I haven't checked this thread in a while (I've been rather busy) so I don't know if there's a fixed timeline for these challenges. ETA: WAIT I FOUND IT! *waves a flag of success* SATURDAY! 1) I'm extra blonde today and 2) I'm half asleep at noon. Yes, point and laugh. I just found the entire thing quite comical because I had read over the rules several times and missed 'Saturday' everytime. If that's any indication of how my fic is going to go, God help us all. :lol:
Click to expand...

I'll put it in bold next time (or LLK will) just for you :). I'm excited you're involved. I can't wait to read yours!

I'm glad we've had a lot of interest. I was worried I'd only have a few :lol:. Don't forget to pass the word around; the more the merrier.

Glad you're feeling better Zelda :) I though the call of the men :)drool:) would get your back on your feet ;). I love your new fic by the way; you're such a tease! With the things happening, but not happening because it's only a dream... ger..

And LLK, I know you'd be fine with the word limit I actually consulted a variety of one-shots as sources when deciding on the limit. Does that make me a geek? :lol:
 
No, not at all. :)

My oneshots and my chapters tend to be about 5,000 words. Though some of them don't ever get posted. Well, most.

This one's probably going to be 3 something... close to 4. It's nothing like you would expect from the challenge though. I can't wait! I'm not saying it's going to be good at all. Just... fun.

I just need to pick a damn song...
 
I'm SO excited for this challenge. I'm going way out of my comfort zone for it... and I'll need help with characterization... if anybody watches New York and knows the characters well, just send me a PM... I want this story to be as good as possible. Thanks a bunch.

Amanda Ruth ^_^
 
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