Thirty-One
Calleigh looked over at Eric and squeezed his hand and smiled at him reassuringly, “I’m fine,” it was her trademark; it wouldn’t be Calleigh if she didn’t continue to say that.
“Why did you faint earlier this evening?” Calleigh stared at him for a second. He felt her shift until her head was resting on his chest.
The two currently lay in his large bed staring at the ceiling. He found himself threading his fingers through her gorgeous blond locks. He felt her shudder, she was uncomfortable, “Eric—,” he knew she was going to be difficult about this.
Eric moved his hand down and cupped her face and turned her more towards him, “Tell me,” his eyes looked at her pleadingly, “Please,” his voice was no louder than a whisper.
Calleigh’s body and mind screamed for her to say no, but she couldn’t. She took in a deep breath, Eric could see her eyes in the moonlight, “Everything came back so fast,” he didn’t know what she meant, “Russia,” he nodded. After he got shot, when he walked to the scene, everything hit him. He almost fainted. Almost.
But Calleigh lost a child.
The loss of a child was a much greater loss than a few memory gaps that Eric had experienced. Life over memories. Life.
He held her closer to him, “It’s gonna be okay, Cal,” she wanted that to be true. She truly did. She just felt like it would never be. She felt as if she couldn’t endure the pain of having another child any time soon, “You’re gonna be okay,” again, she wanted to believe that. That one stubborn part of her just wouldn’t let her.
She buried her head deeper into his chest and inhaled the scent of him that drove her wild, “I know,” she just wanted it to be true. She wanted everything to do with the Russian mob to be over. She knew it was just the beginning. They did nothing but anger them more.
“I love you,” Calleigh felt guilty whenever he told her. She lost his child. He was still telling her that he loved her. He didn’t have to.
She looked back up at him, “I love you,” she smiled up at him.
She just wanted to be okay.
…
Ryan sat at the bar. He was staring at the halfway empty beer bottle. It was only his first. His thoughts had been elsewhere, not on his drinking. All he did was fiddle slightly with the bottle before taking a quick swig.
He was about to make a decision that would change everything.
But then he saw someone out of the corner of his left eye sit down next to him. A woman. But not just any woman. Alexx.
“Alexx?” he stared at her for a second.
She didn’t seem surprised to see him, she just looked at him, “What is Detective McAlister like at your apartment?”
It took a few seconds for it to click in Ryan’s head, “Nirvana?” she nodded, “She’s great…” Alexx looked at him in the eye, “Just a little abrasive here and there,” Alexx sighed, “What?”
“You need to talk to her, Ryan,” Ryan scooted closer, “She needs an attitude adjustment,” Ryan raised his eyebrow, “She can’t go around talking to some of the people that she does now. It’s unprofessional an if she’ll be fired in less than an hour if she keeps it up!”
He looked down, “I know.”
Alexx looked at him straight in the eye, then her voice and gaze softened, “Baby, is there somethin’ you wanna tell me?” he looked up at her, “I won’t tell anyone.”
“Nirvana’s my fiancé,” Alexx leaned back a bit, “I hadn’t seen her in two years,” Alexx nodded, still taking it in, “Her real name is Lila Sharova,” Alexx looked back at him again, “She’s Eric’s little sister.”
Alexx then inhaled then exhaled, she knew more than Eric and Calleigh did, “I can’t marry her Alexx,” she looked at his eyes. They were mixed with confusion and sadness. Horror as well. Alexx knew both of them were young, she also knew that he loved her more than anything.
“I don’t want to marry Nirvana McAlister,” he buried his face in his hands, “I want to marry Lila Sharova,” he got up and laid a twenty on the table and picked up his jacket and swung it over his shoulders.
“Ryan,” Alexx touched his shoulder, “What are you gonna do?”
He ran his hand over his face then removed his hand, sorrow was the only thing there, “For her own good,” Alexx stepped closer, “I can’t marry her,” he turned and left leaving Alexx standing there.
Ryan would need all the help in the world.
…
Calleigh walked into a beautiful garden. It was perfect, beautiful flowers everywhere and the scent of spring filling her nostrils. She held a bouquet of flowers. Three different colours to be exact. She looked in front of her, the veil in front of her eyes slightly impairing the sight of what was in front of her.
Eric.
He stood before her in a freshly dry-cleaned tux. The anticipation in his eyes made her heart beat faster and her breath hitch in her throat. She stood in front of him, the dress she wore suddenly feeling heavy.
Then he started to speak.
They exchanged their vows. They’re love for each other.
He lifted the veil from her face and leaned in. His lips were pressed against hers. The dress that covered her suddenly felt weightless. The clapping of people behind her brought her back to the present. She pulled back and gazed at Eric who showed nothing more than love.
Horatio, her parents, her family, his family, and Nirvana stood up clapping. Calleigh turned and gazed at Alexx behind her, tears were pricking her eyes. Her baby girl was getting married. Smiling, Calleigh looked down at her ring, she felt happy. The emotion she had longed to feel on a daily basis was here.
She smiled when Eric took her hand in his and led her down the aisle, “I’ll love you forever,” he whispered in her ear. She looked up at him.
“I know,” she pulled him closer to her and cupped his cheek, “I will always love you,” then she kissed him.
Then she woke up.
She was in Eric’s embrace.
She snuggled deeper into him, wishing her dream had been real.
It was all a dream…
It wasn’t real…
But their love for each other was.
…
“Shit!” Nirvana hissed as she poured the cleanser on the cut that was bleeding furiously on her hand. She held it close to her body and examined it once more. Her skin was stained with blood. The whole entire bathroom smelled of the rusty crimson substance.
She pulled her arm slowly from her body and examined it from a farther distance. She didn’t like what she was about to do.
She held the needle in her left hand. She gulped. Not being left handed wasn’t really a perk in this situation. The next feeling she had was the needle going under her skin and piercing through the other side. She gritted her teeth and felt the urge to clamp her hands into tight fists. Then she did it again.
“Lila?” she heard a voice sound through the apartment. Ryan was back, “Lila?” the voice sounded slightly frantic. Good thing she closed the door, “Lila, are you in there?”
“Yes,” she halfway mumbled. Then she heard the door open. She squeezed her eyes shut and knew what was coming next.
“Nirvana?” her breath caught in her throat at the use of her middle name coming from his lips, “What have you done?” he leaned down and grabbed her hand from her grasp. She only needed one more.
“How did this happen?” he demanded, “How?”
Tears pricked her eyes, “I don’t know,” she lied not wanting to get him caught up in the Russian mob plot. Little did she know he already was, “I was jumped outside of the apartment,” pity flashed through his eyes for a second before he took the needle and finished the last stitch.
“I need some more on my arm,” his eyes traveled up her hand and noticed the dry and wet blood pouring down her arm.
“God, Nirvana,” he took the cleanser and applied it. She bit her bottom lip. The feelings she felt as he stitched her arm up were enough to make her want to vomit over the linoleum floor.
He was done in about three minutes. He did it slowly and carefully. Then he looked at her face. Disheveled hair, black eye forming, and a cut on the corner of the mouth. He also noticed her knuckles were heavily bruised and bleeding.
He sighed and ran his hands over his face, “I want you out of here,” she tried to get up, “Go stay with Horatio, I already called him.”
“What?” she reached out with her left hand, “Ryan, what are yo—,” he swung back in her face quickly.
“You’re not Lila!” he almost screamed it out, “You’re Nirvana!”
She shrugged, “What’s the difference?” she felt lightheaded. Blood loss.
“Lila Sharova was caring, gentle, my fiancé, and most of all the woman I love,” he glared at her, she felt the pit form deep in her stomach once more, “Nirvana McAlister is abrasive, rude, sarcastic,” she leaned away from him, “You’ve insulted my friends and they’ve done nothing to you.”
Her eyes softened, “Ryan—,” she tried to put her hand on his cheek.
He pushed her hand away, “Get out.”
“Ryan, please,” her voice wavered.
“Get the hell out of my apartment!” he grabbed her good arm making her stand on her feet then pushed her towards the door, “Just get out,” she felt nothing but pain.
She felt numb.