The Eh? Team: Canadian Thread #3
- Thread starter ShuriyuCSI
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ShuriyuCSI
Judge
Ducky, I thought you were a duck, not a cow. 
We're not allowed to hunt cows in Canada, dammit. :lol:
Jorja.. I just noticed your new 'title'. "Official feta cheese girl". =D LOVE Feta. And thanks for the Canadian jokes!
Mind if I post an old favorite of my own?
Temperature Conversion Chart of Canada
50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Canadians plant gardens.
40 Fahrenheit (4.4 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Canadians Sunbathe.
35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down
32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
Distilled water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.
0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.
-40 Fahrenheit (-40 C)
Hollywood disintegrates.
Canadians rent some videos.
-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Canadians pull down their earflaps.
-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-459.4 Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"
-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Cup
...That last one though.. Go Flames!
We're not allowed to hunt cows in Canada, dammit. :lol:Jorja.. I just noticed your new 'title'. "Official feta cheese girl". =D LOVE Feta. And thanks for the Canadian jokes!
Mind if I post an old favorite of my own?
Temperature Conversion Chart of Canada
50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Canadians plant gardens.
40 Fahrenheit (4.4 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Canadians Sunbathe.
35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down
32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
Distilled water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.
0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.
-40 Fahrenheit (-40 C)
Hollywood disintegrates.
Canadians rent some videos.
-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Canadians pull down their earflaps.
-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-459.4 Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"
-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Cup
...That last one though..
Go Flames!^Hasn't that been posted before? Be Geni or someone... anywayas, I have the FInland version but it has a few different.. like "the Finns stop taking their laundry out to dry" and last one is " - and FInland wins Eurovision Song Contest"
and Shuri... I'm Undercover Goose
and Shuri... I'm Undercover Goose
ziggystarduzt
CSI Level Two
^Wait, wait, wait! Didn't Finland actually win the Eurovision Song Contest this year? Or maybe it was Holland. Come to think of it, I think it was Holland. Hmm.
No... it was Finland. first time in history
That's why at least Finnish section of Wikipedia has text "Hell has officially frozen. Finland won Eurovision Song Contest" (or used to be right afrer the final)
We were there 40 years before we won it. No other country has been in ESC so long without win
That's why at least Finnish section of Wikipedia has text "Hell has officially frozen. Finland won Eurovision Song Contest" (or used to be right afrer the final)
We were there 40 years before we won it. No other country has been in ESC so long without win
ziggystarduzt
CSI Level Two
Ahhh, sweet! Congratulations to Finland! I think I saw a picture of the band that won and they were all dressed in scary costumes, like White Zombie or something. Funny!
allmaple
Judge
this reminded me of something i heard on the radio in the states. we had to listen to some 'sports talk' radio thing thanks to my brother and it was probably while we were still in michigan (we drove to florida, and i know, canadians go there in the winter but we go in the summer :lol
anyhoo, the call in was sports teams that dont deserve to exist. some guy called in and said 'the toronto raptors, basketball has no reason to be in canada' i tell you i almost called in myself to tell him we invented the game!!
Yes, it was I believe by me in the last thread we had, but not in this one. (I think) Thanks for posting it again Shuri, I love that list.
allmaple you should have called in to give that guy a piece of your mind. And to think, we gave the Americans the gift of Basketball, and they just don't appreciate it. *shakes head*
Now I don't know if anyone else has read this joke (Some of you may have) but I think it's one of the funniest ones I've read in a long time:
From a transcript of a radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10 Oct 1995, between a US Navy vessel and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland:
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."
Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."
Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."
Canadians: "No, I say again, divert YOUR course."
Americans: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Missouri. We are a large warship of the US Navy. DIVERT YOUR COURSE *NOW*."
Canadians: "We are a lighthouse. Your call."
(Courtesy of Canadian Humor )
And I think I read it here at TalkCSI, but there's no shame in posting it again.
VManso
CSI Level Two
speed_cochrane said:
Yes, it was I believe by me in the last thread we had, but not in this one. (I think) Thanks for posting it again Shuri, I love that list.
allmaple you should have called in to give that guy a piece of your mind. And to think, we gave the Americans the gift of Basketball, and they just don't appreciate it. *shakes head*
Now I don't know if anyone else has read this joke (Some of you may have) but I think it's one of the funniest ones I've read in a long time:
From a transcript of a radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10 Oct 1995, between a US Navy vessel and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland:
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."
Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."
Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."
Canadians: "No, I say again, divert YOUR course."
Americans: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Missouri. We are a large warship of the US Navy. DIVERT YOUR COURSE *NOW*."
Canadians: "We are a lighthouse. Your call."
(Courtesy of Canadian Humor )
And I think I read it here at TalkCSI, but there's no shame in posting it again.
Just goes to show how blind in their authority the U.S. Naval Authorities are! :lol:
ShuriyuCSI
Judge
Geni, I have the scan of that joke :lol: It's another favorite of mine too. -- Though the actual scan is different that what's said there.
Ducky - Undercover goose? Goose as in.. Canadian Goose? Damn, can't shoot those either, though they make a mess of the park. And Lordi is... O___o; Very interesting costumes. Quite detailed.
Have you guys ever seen this joke? It's the spin off of another joke..
CANADIANS IN HELL
Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell.
The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat.
The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?"
Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."
This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Toronto so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's THIS nice."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians.
He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!
The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two???"
The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup."
Ducky - Undercover goose? Goose as in.. Canadian Goose?
Damn, can't shoot those either, though they make a mess of the park. And Lordi is... O___o; Very interesting costumes. Quite detailed.Have you guys ever seen this joke? It's the spin off of another joke..
CANADIANS IN HELL
Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell.
The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat.
The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?"
Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."
This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Toronto so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's THIS nice."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians.
He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!
The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two???"
The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup."
Heh heh. Despite the obvious mistakes about the weather in Toronto, it's worth it to get that joke!
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