Road Trip! The Final Frontier.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Finch, Dec 7, 2007.

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  1. racefh853629

    racefh853629 Pathologist

    May 1, 2008
    Likes Received:
    ^^ Agreed!!!

    Stupid Samantha, wrecking the place and making Bailey interrupt the mood. I still really like Lori and Scott together... a lot. :)

    Great update!
  2. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

    Jul 30, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Ack! Sorry I haven't had an update in a while. I have been working on them though. :lol: So even if I don't post anything, I'm usually writing something.

    We'll see the RT team in a bit though, I promise. :eek:


    Travel Agency, New York, 7pm

    Cellphone rings

    Lori: *grabs phone from pocket* Yeah....who is this?

    Guy: *looks over*

    Lori: Oh. And who gave you my number? ...I see. Uh...*looks at watch* I can probably make it over there tonight...somehow.

    Guy: *goes back to paperwork*

    Lori: No no you don't have to send a driver, it's okay. I'll take a cab or something. I don't want to impo...are you sure?

    Bailey: *knocks on window*

    Lori: *looks out window, waves*

    Bailey: *runs around building*

    Lori: Sure, I'll see you then. Bye. *closes phone*

    Bailey: *runs over* Busy?

    Lori: I'm at work.

    Bailey: So who was that?

    Lori: My grandmother.

    Bailey: *lifts brow*

    Lori: She lives up on the Upper East Side now and apparently my father gave her my number.

    Bailey: Wow. She lives in a posh area. *smiles* Ooh Lori has a rich family.

    Lori: *grabs pen* Yeah well my grandfather was a mob boss so it's not like it's honest money.

    Bailey: Holy crap. Here in New York? *sits*

    Lori: I guess. He was murdered so it's not like he's around or anything.

    Bailey: HOLY CRAP! Lori do you realize how cool that is?

    Lori: Murder isn't cool even if the guy was a greedy bastard.

    Bailey: *leans back in chair* Ha.

    Lori: What.

    Bailey: Now I understand the attitude. You sure you don't feel at home here?

    Lori: Bailey, the only thing I remotely like about New York is the cheesecake. *flips open book*

    Bailey: Oooh I bet Scotty's dad judged a whole bunch of your granddaddie's goons. OH OH imagine if both families were at war, it's like Romeo and Juliet!

    Lori: *flips page, writing* And here I thought you'd never picked up a book in your life.

    Bailey: ...That's a book? I saw the DiCaprio movie.

    Lori: *shakes head* You're sure hell-bent on pimping me out to him.

    Bailey: Well I did see what happened on the balcony.

    Lori: *lifts head*

    Bailey: *smiles*

    Lori: And what exactly did you see?

    Bailey: Oh just you two all close and personal.

    Lori: His mistake. I don't get 'close and personal' with men.

    Bailey: I don't understand why you hate men so much.

    Lori: *writing* Spend 8 years in Colombia and you'll understand real quick.

    Bailey: Weren't you a hooker or something down there?

    Lori: *blinks*

    Bailey: I mean, you're the one that would have instigated any problems that way.

    Lori: *closes book* Don't you have somewhere to be? Like a..job?

    Bailey: No one works past 7. HEY did you learn any cool languages in Colombia? Like Spanish? I've always wanted to speak Spanish.

    Lori: Portuguese and Spanish.

    Bailey: Yeah but didn't you like grow up there? How come you have a southern accent?

    Lori: *lifts brow* I don't.

    Bailey: You do. But it disappears when you're pissed.

    Lori: Good to know.

    Bailey: *smiles* It's kind of like a barometer for moods. When you're tired or happy, you're twangy and when you're pissed, you're...not.

    Lori: *laughs* Right.

    Bailey: THERE IT IS! You know, Scotty just melts over a southern woman.

    Lori: Good for him, I hope he finds one someday.

    Bailey: You know what I mean.

    Lori: *crosses arms* So why'd you come down here?

    Bailey: My car broke down around the corner so I thought HEY Lori's here, why not visit.

    Lori: Your car broke down? How?

    Bailey: I didn't put enough gas in it.

    Lori: *laughs*

    Bailey: What?

    Lori: That's

    Bailey: Yeah well I called Scotty, he's gonna come down here before the tow company gets here so I can use his member card and get a discount.

    Lori: *nods*

    Bailey: *points to street* THERE'S HIS CAR NOW!

    Lori: *looks out window* Holy sh..ow that's a nice car.

    Bailey: Yeah it's or..something.

    Lori: *stands* Camaro. *leaves*


    Scott: *closes door*

    Lori: I need your job.

    Scott: *smiles* Good evening.

    Lori: Nice car.

    Scott: Nice to see you too.

    Lori: *smiles* Sorry.

    Bailey: Give me your discount card.

    Scott: *grabs wallet*

    Bailey: You know, this isn't fair. You have the membership cards, you have health insurance, you have life insurance, you have money in the bank and an expensive apartment. What do I have? A cruddy 1999 Ford Taurus that I got off my parents for pennies and I don't even have enough money to put gas in it. Not to mention I live 5 blocks from here so I don't know why I bother driving anyway. And I still need to get the maintenance guy to figure out where that smell is coming from.

    Scott: *hands over card* Maybe if you actually went to work, you would have money.

    Bailey: They won't let me back for another week.

    Lori: Why, what'd you do?

    Bailey: I kept pulling the fire alarm.

    Scott: Yeah people don't like that.

    Bailey: It was a joke! *looks down at card* Oh a Gold Star member.

    Lori: *crosses arms*

    Scott: What.

    Lori: I can't believe you actually worked for all of this. Look at this car.

    Scott: You think I sold drugs or something?

    Lori: No, you'd have a way better vehicle than this. Back in the day, I had 2 Mercedes, a motorcycle and a 1.4 million dollar house. Of course my hair was falling out, my teeth were horrible and I couldn't stand for more than 10 minutes.

    Bailey: Cocaine?

    Lori: Meth...and cocaine...prescription pain killers and alcohol.

    Bailey: Oh man fun times.

    Lori: *looks inside car* Yeah real fun.

    Scott: You must have wanted to forget something really bad.

    Lori: *stands straight* Aren't there times where you wish you could too?

    Scott: *glances across street, back at Lori* Everyone does.

    Lori: *nods*

    Bailey: *lifts out card* Hey you have a Subway card. Can I borrow this?

    Scott: You don't even like Subway.

    Bailey: Hey I'll eat whatever gets me a deal.

    Lori: *looks at watch* I have to take off.

    Scott: Where you headed?

    Lori: The...Upper East Side? I think.

    Bailey: Yeah her grandma lives there. She's RICH.

    Lori: *reaches into pocket* How much money do you think it'll be to get there by cab?

    Scott: Why don't I just give you a ride?

    Lori: That's nice of you but I can take care of it.

    Scott: It's not a problem.

    Bailey: Um HELLO. Yes it is. What am I supposed to do if the tow truck driver turns into a rapist?

    Scott: Call 9-1-1?

    Bailey: Yeah and wait 4 hours for the cops to get here, I don't think so.

    Scott: It doesn't take 4 hours. You'll be fine. *walks over to other side of car, opens door*

    Lori: *walks over, gets inside*

    Scott: *shuts door*

    Bailey: *whispers* At least ask her out.

    Scott: *walking to other side of car* No.

    Bailey: Kiss her?

    Scott: *rolls eyes, gets into car*

    Bailey: Wuss.

    In car, on the road

    Lori: *grabs paper from pocket* I wrote down the address. *hands it over*

    Scott: *looks down at paper, back at road* Nice area.

    Lori: *looks around* Are these custom leather?

    Scott: *laughs*

    Lori: What? I can't help it. *looks up* Oh you have a dual sunroof. *looks back* Jesus, how new is this car?

    Scott: Few months, why?

    Lori: Well you're one step away from having plastic covered seats.

    Scott: *smiles* The plastic's in the trunk.

    Lori: Hilarious.

    Scott: *swings wheel*

    Lori: AH! *grabs onto door* What the hell kind of accountant are you?

    Scott: *laughs*

    Lori: *looks out window*

    30 minutes later

    Scott: *looks over*

    Lori: *asleep against window*

    Scott: *sighs, grabs cellphone from seat*

    2 minutes later

    Scott: Yes ma'am, she'll definitely be there tomorrow. It's just been a bit of a long week for her....okay, you too. *snaps phone closed*

    Lori: *jerks head up, blinks* What, what did we hit. *looks out window* Where are we?

    Scott: I'm taking you back to your hotel.

    Lori: Why?

    Scott: You're exhausted.

    Lori: Hey, were you using my phone?

    Scott: Your grandmother is fine with you visiting tomorrow evening.

    Lori: You called my grandmother? What did you say to her? Who did you say you were?

    Scott: Could I make an observation?

    Lori: Go ahead.

    Scott: You just finished working a long day, you're in a strange city and she just suddenly expects you to show up and visit like you know each other? You seem more comfortable with a plan and judging by how tired you look, you wanted to go back to the hotel and relax. You shouldn't feel obligated to go around Hell's half acre because of a phone call and I don't think you've slept since you got here.

    Lori: ...Uh huh.

    Scott: You should have just said no to your boss in the first place. Everyone can tell you don't want to be here.

    Lori: It wasn't really a negotiation with him. I need that job.

    Scott: There are other jobs.

    Lori: No there aren't. No one wants to hire someone with a criminal record and questionable sanity. This guy offered to take me because that's what his business does. The only downside is I have to work 14 hour days, travel all over the place and the county gets half my income to pay for where I stayed. Apparently my family threw everything over to them but I don't really blame them anyway. And on top of that, I'm renting a home that's water damaged because of a hurricane so there's mold everywhere but it's the only thing I can afford which is bad enough because it's 10 miles from my work and I don't have enough to take a bus so I usually walk or ride a bicycle in a damn state that's ridden with tropical storms half the year and 100 degrees the other half. Although I could just sell the bike to the crack whores down the block and take a bus.

    Scott: *nods slowly*

    Lori: I mean, it's not like I don't deserve it because I do. I haven't exactly been the best person to everyone and it could probably be worse so I just have to buck up and work my ass off like everyone else on the planet. The thing is, what if I fail? What if I try as hard as I can and I still end up in some alley with a needle stuck in my arm? *looks down, scoffs* Sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this.

    Scott: It'll probably turn out okay. At least you don't want to be in that alley, right?

    Lori: *shakes head* No. I don't. Ugh. Life is too damn hard.

    Scott: Yep. But you're here and you're still able to live it.

    Lori: *looks over*

    Scott: *turns wheel*

    Lori: Do you have to do that?

    Scott: *lifts brow* I thought that turn was rather gentle.

    Lori: No, put a bright side onto everything. Misery loves company so get down here with me.

    Scott: *laughs* Sorry, I'm just not a miserable guy.

    Lori: Well no, look at the car you're driving and the clean, dry, warm apartment you get to sleep in tonight.

    Scott: Would having all of that make you any happier?

    Lori: If it means no mold or sunburns, sign me up.

    Scott: Fair enough.

    Lori: So what makes you happy?

    Scott: *looks over at Lori*

    Lori: *lifts brows*

    Scott: *looks back at road* Funny movies, pizza, my friends, air in my car.

    Lori: HA.

    Scott: *smiles*

    Lori: *shrugs* I guess going back to Miami and that cruddy job won't be so bad. At least I'll be doing something that contributes instead of adding to the world's problems. And I do have some days off.

    Scott: See, there you go.

    Lori: Yeah this bright and shiny outlook on life thing might work for me yet.

    Scott: Good.

    Lori: Except I still hate my hotel. Everyone always looks at me like I shouldn't be there and I'm pretty sure the maids steal the change I leave on the table. And I don't know what's wrong with your city but there's always an ambulance or a fire truck or some god damned cop car runnin' past the building and garbage trucks in back alleys bangin' things around and everywhere smells like pee.

    Scott: *laughs*

    Lori: I'm serious. And the linens they use on the bed give me hives plus there's this Chinese couple beside my room and they go at it every night like a couple of wild animals.

    Scott: Sounds exciting.

    Lori: It's nasty. Maybe I'll ask to stay at my grandmother's house tomorrow. Of course that doesn't really fix the problem tonight. Maybe I'll just grab one of those hard soaps and knock myself out. Ugh, sorry, I'm ramblin' again.

    Scott: *smiling* Not a problem.

    Lori: You don't care that I'm completely monopolizing the conversation with complaints?

    Scott: It's the most you've shared with me since we've met, I'll take it.

    Lori: Well you're...*shrugs* easy to talk to.

    Scott: *looks over*

    Lori: I...y'know, I don't feel like I'm bein' judged or anythin'.

    Scott: *staring at Lori*

    Lori: Red light.

    Scott: *slams on breaks*

    Lori: AH! *grabs dashboard*

    Scott: Sorry.

    Lori: My fault. I should be wearing my seatbelt.

    Scott: *stares ahead*

    Lori: *looks out window*

    Cellphone rings

    Scott: *reaches into pocket, grabs phone, opens it* Hello. *presses gas pedal* Why? ...Bailey, the tow guy is not a taxi the hell did you get a key to my apartment?

    Lori: *smirks*

    Scott: No you cannot borrow the bike tomorrow. You can buy gas like the rest of America.

    Lori: *looks over*

    Scott: Because you don't know how to use it...*lifts brow* Are you in the parking garage right now? No NO, Bailey you cannot just take it. *sigh* You know what, I'll be there in a few. *closes phone* Sorry, we have to take a side trip.

    Lori: You have a bike? Like a-a motorcycle?

    Scott: Well, no, not really. I'm fixing it for a friend.

    Lori: You know how to fix motorcycles.

    Scott: I worked at a garage to pay for college. *sigh* Sorry about this, I'll get you to the hotel before the sun comes up, I swear.

    Lori: *smiles* It's okay.

    West 10th Street, Greenwich Village

    Scott: *opens door* Did you call her?

    Lori: Yeah she said she's up in your apartment.

    Scott: Knowing her, she's stealing my food too.

    5 minutes later

    Scott: *opens door* Bailey!

    Bailey: *closes fridge* I didn't take anything.

    Scott: *walks in* Then why were you just in my fridge?

    Lori: *walks in slowly* ...Wow.

    Bailey: *smiles* I know, right? YOUR VOICE ECHOES IN HERE!

    Scott: Put the beer away.

    Bailey: Just one?

    Scott: No.

    Bailey: You suck.

    Lori: *stands near door* You have...two floors.

    Scott: *places hand on Lori's back* You can come in, you know.

    Lori: *jogs over* Yeah okay.

    Scott: *grabs beer from Bailey* Water only.

    Bailey: Then don't put beer in your apartment.

    Lori: *looks around* More like a house.

    Bailey: Ugh yeah he pays like 1200-

    Scott: Why don't we not discuss how much Scott pays for his apartment. Please, have a seat.

    Lori: *sits on couch*

    Scott: Would you like anything?

    Lori:, I'm fine.

    Scott: *looks at Bailey* You've probably already helped yourself, right?

    Bailey: I only took one sandwhich.

    Scott: *nods*

    Bailey: So can I borrow the bike?

    Scott: What part of 'no' don't you understand?

    Bailey: No is very vague nowadays.

    Scott: Where's your car?

    Bailey: It's in your parking space.

    Scott: *sigh*

    Bailey: *grabs Scott* Okay I need to talk to you in private.

    Scott: Why?

    Bailey: Just get over here.


    Bailey: *pushes Scott*

    Scott: What is it?

    Bailey: Did you ask her out yet?

    Scott: You were rude enough to leave Lori alone in the living room to ask me if I've asked her out.

    Bailey: Well did you?

    Scott: I'm not going to.

    Bailey: Why?

    Scott: Because she's leaving in 4 days and maybe she doesn't want to go out with anyone.

    Bailey: That's not what she told me.

    Scott: Wh-what did she tell you?

    Bailey: *smiles* She didn't tell me anything but that was cute.

    Scott: *frowns*

    Bailey: Come on, this is perfect. You're here, she's here, you've got a good vibe going on and this place would make me weak in the knees for you if I wasn't so above your league.

    Scott: You...made me take her here so you could pimp her out to me?

    Bailey: Duh, why did you think I wanted your membership card in the first place?

    Scott: Stop setting me up with people.

    Bailey: Stop ignoring your feelings. *smiles*

    Scott: How would you even know my 'feelings'?

    Bailey: Because I saw you two on the balcony way before I interrupted you.

    Scott: You are a cruel human being.

    Bailey: C'mon, it's perfect. She's finally in the city and you haven't been laid in...*lifts fingers* what...a year?

    Scott: Um you're a little off.

    Bailey: Fine, 3 years.

    Scott: Okay, look, I appreciate...whatever the hell it is you think you're doing but no.

    Bailey: Why? You think you're going to get some jungle disease from her?

    Scott: *covers eyes* I can't believe we're even friends.

    Bailey: You're attracted to her, right?

    Scott: *throws hands up in the air* Yes.

    Bailey: You care about her?

    Scott: Yeah.

    Bailey: Just...'yeah'. Come on, level with me. How do you feel about her?

    Scott: I it's none of your business how I feel about her.

    Bailey: *smiles* Excellent so go be a man and get her pants off.

    Scott: *shakes head, leaves*

    Bailey: Hee. *follows*

    Living room

    Scott: I'll take you back to the hotel now.

    Lori: Oh, okay. *stands*

    Bailey: NO! What are you doing!

    Lori: *lifts brows*

    Bailey: Ugh this just won't work if you two WON'T PLAY ALONG.

    Scott: Don't pay attention to her, she's leaving too.

    Bailey: Scott wants to sleep with you!

    Lori: What?

    Scott: What?

    Bailey: *smiles* Bye. *leaves, shuts door*

    Scott: *staring at door*

    Lori: Interesting.

    Scott: No, she's just messing around.

    Lori: I see.

    Scott: Stop, no, just...don't look at me like that. She really is just messing around, I'm sorry. *opens door* I'm sure you'd like to get back to your hotel and rest up.

    Lori: Right. Although it would be nice not to have hives for one night and you probably don't want to have to make another trip.

    Scott: You want to stay here?

    Lori: Well it's not an offer to sleep with me.

    Scott: *stares at Lori*

    Lori: *laughs* I'm kidding. I would be nice to be somewhere quiet and hypo-allergenic if that's okay.

    Scott: Yeah. Yeah, it's okay. *closes door*

    Lori: Thanks.

    Scott: There's an extra room upstairs.

    Lori: Perfect. Uh, I assume there's an extra bathroom up there too.

    Scott: Of course.

    Lori: Good. I guess I'll be in the shower. *walks upstairs*

    Scott: *places head against door*

    Lori: *leans over railing* Oh, Scott?

    Scott: *lifts head* Yeah.

    Lori: I really hope it hasn't been 3 years.

    Scott: *stares blankly* What?

    Lori: Bailey's kind of loud.

    Scott: Uh, *laughs* no. No, she was me another reason never to speak to her again.

    Lori: *smiles* Okay. *walks away*

    Scott: *slams head against door*

    Last edited: Aug 20, 2008
  3. cainesugar

    cainesugar Coroner

    Jan 22, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Fantastic updates, Gen! I was laughing hysterically at the scene a few pages back, with Lora, Heather and I. :lol:

    It sounds bad either way, Lora. :lol:
  4. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

    Jun 22, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Okay, so Bailey's turning out to be an okay kinda girl. I love how she's playing matchmaker- although those two don't need much of an incentive. Even though they are avoiding, they clearly want each other! Awesome update, Geni!
  5. racefh853629

    racefh853629 Pathologist

    May 1, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Bailey cracks me up. :lol: She's just hilarious. And I hope Lori and Scott do end up together... that would be great. :)

    Great update!
  6. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

    Jul 30, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Wee thanks for the reviewz. :D

    Hummerhome, 8am

    Carly: *banging head against window*

    Lilly: So you think Horatio and Lora died?

    Calleigh: Maybe we should look for them.

    Jenna: And die ourselves? Yeah right.

    Delko: ...Did anyone hear that strange rattling sound?

    Everyone: ...

    Rattling sounds

    Delko: *screams* SNAKE!

    Everyone: *screams*

    Katie: Okay OKAY! Nobody panic! All we have to do is cut its head off!

    Speed: It's not a mythical creature.

    Katie: How the hell do you know?

    Ryan: OMG OMG it's on the couch!

    Carly: AH! *jumps up*

    Ryan: Someone splash it with toilet water!

    Delko: *splashing from bathroom* IT'S NOT WORKING!

    Speed: *shuts door, locks it* You're not coming out until you leave the toilet water alone.

    Delko: *banging on door* HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED! Oh hey there's a whole bunch of baby snakes in the shower.

    Everyone: *stares at door*

    Delko: *screaming*

    Katie: *slaps Speed* Get him out! Get him out!

    Speed: *yanks door* I can't, it's..glued or something. *looks down at hands*

    Heather: I was trying to insulate the Hummerhome so we didn't fry to death.

    Speed: And superglue was the answer?

    Heather: Hey no one else had any bright ideas.

    Delko: *banging on door* HELP ME OH MY GOD THEY'RE GOING TO EAT ME!

    Lilly: We need a snake expert!

    Everyone: *looks at Carly*

    Carly: Oh no no I don't think so. Just because I'm Australian, it doesn't make me Steve Irwin.

    Lilly: How about Crocodile Dundee.

    Carly: *glares*

    Lilly: I mean...oy mate.

    Carly: *throws shoe*

    Lilly: OW! *holds face*

    Delko: *screaming*

    Ryan: Hey Delko! You need to avert eye contact and play dead.

    Delko: You sure?

    Ryan: Positive.

    Delko: Okay. *thump*

    Ryan: Is it working?

    Delko: I don't know! I'm not making eye contact!

    Katie: How did snakes get in here anyway?

    Ryan: Must be a hole somewhere.

    Carly: *puts pot on head, grabs spatula* Okay people, I'm goin' in. *walks toward couch*

    Calleigh: Do you want oven mits?

    Carly: Will that make a difference?

    Speed: It will if you get bit.

    Carly: ACK! *grabs Speed* You do this. You're the man of the Hummerhome now that H is dead in the desert somewhere.

    Speed: What? How did I get deemed man of the Hummerhome?

    Ryan: Delko's playing dead, Colton hasn't said anything since yesterday and I forgot to dibs it.

    Speed: *angry sigh* I'm not hunting a snake.

    Heather: *places hands on hips* This looks like a job for Sam and Dean.

    Lilly: Who and who?

    Heather: SUCK. *kicks Lilly*

    Lilly: OW! *falls on couch* AH! SNAKE! *throws snake against window*


    Everyone: ...

    Katie: Oh man good job kid. You're now the man of the Hummerhome.

    Lilly: YAY!

    Carly: But...but I was just going to...

    Colton: *pats Carly's head*

    Carly: Pfft fine. The next time a crocodile, snake and or crazy homeless person invades the Hummerhome, I'm not going to lift a finger.

    Banging heard in bathroom

    Ryan: You okay in there Eric?

    Delko: Uh...could someone figure out how to get in here? I have a problem.

    Speed: We don't want to know.

    Delko: No no it's not that. I'm kind of...stuck.

    Speed: Stuck? How?

    Delko: Bust the door down, c'mon man. I know you can.

    Speed: I'm not busting the door down.

    Delko: You're a cop, do it! You know you want to.

    Speed: Eric, have you ever thought maybe I don't care if you're stuck?

    Jess: Um I care.

    Speed: Good. You bust down the door.

    Ryan: Watch out everyone. *rolls up sleeves* I'm going to bust it down. *stands back*

    Speed: Go for it.

    Ryan: Now, this is a very delicate and amazing thing I'm about to perform so get ready to be BLOWN AWAY.

    Katie: Yeah I'll try to contain myself.

    Ryan: HEE-YA! *runs into door, falls over*

    Everyone: *looks at floor*

    Ryan: Ow ow OW ow. *holding shoulder* I think I pulled a muscle.

    Lilly: *sigh* Okay I guess I have to do it now since I'm the man of the Hummerhome and everything.

    Desert, Mexico

    Horatio: What are you doing?

    Lora: I'm making a giant SOS message out of rocks.

    Horatio: Lora, I think those are snails.

    Lora: ...*scratches head* That explains why they won't stay in one place.

    Horatio: Let's just go back to the Hummerhome. We're never going to find anyone out here.

    Lora: No. I'm going to get everyone help if it kills me. Give me your shades, I'm going to start a desert fire.

    Horatio: What?

    Lora: I'm going to set these cacti ablaze. Someone's bound to care that Mexico's on fire.

    Horatio: I don't think that's a very good idea.

    Lora: No it's cool, I saw it on Cast Away only it was wood, hair and pieces of coconut. Same concept, different design.

    Horatio: That makes no sense.

    Lora: Give me the shades.

    Horatio: No. I need these. It's finally too bright out to not wear them.

    Lora: Do you want us to die because you were too vain to take off your damn sunglasses?

    Horatio: These sunglasses are very special to me. They symbolize everything I believe in.

    Lora: Protected retinas?

    Horatio: Justice.

    Lora: When's the last time you enforced any kind of justice?

    Horatio: ...

    Lora: *crosses arms*

    Horatio: Wait wait I got, nevermind. It's gone., that wasn't it....OH OH! Yes, I have it! I...

    Lora: *lifts brows* Yes...

    Horatio: ...Well it's not important what I do, it's important what the team does as a whole.

    Lora: Huh. What was the last thing the team did?

    Horatio: ...

    Lora: HA YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. You're a horrible CSI.

    Horatio: ...CSI?

    Lora: *frowns* Don't tell me you forgot what a CSI is.

    Horatio: Oh no no, I know what a CSI is.

    Lora: Then what is it?

    Horatio: Wait I know this one...*taps chin* wait, what was the question?

    Lora: You're hopeless. *grabs shades*

    Horatio: HEY.

    Lora: *beating shades with rocks*

    Horatio: No, n-

    Lora: *scratching lenses*

    Horatio: *falls to knees*

    Lora: *cracking lenses*

    Horatio: *covers mouth* I'm going to be sick.

    Inside bathroom, Hummerhome

    Everyone: *staring at Eric*

    Delko: I tried to get through the little window but it's too little.

    Speed: We don't have a Jaws of Life on board do we?

    Katie: I don't think so.

    Speed: Leave him. He deserves it. *walks away*

    Delko: Wait, you're not going to help? I have a bare ass here!

    Katie: You have a bare butt?

    Delko: I thought if I wasn't wearing my pants, I'd have a better chance of escaping.

    Katie: ...Nice job. *walks away*

    Delko: Okay seriously guys, it's not funny. Can someone get me out please?

    Speed: *from couch* No one's touching your ass, Eric.

    New York, apartment

    Lori: *walks downstairs*

    Scott: *reading newspaper*

    Lori: I uh borrowed a housecoat from one of the closets, I hope that's okay.

    Scott: It's fine.

    Lori: *points to table* What's that?

    Scott: Breakfast. You people in Miami do eat, right?

    Lori: I usually don't eat breakfast. *walks over to table* Banana pancakes. Hm.

    Scott: What?

    Lori: They're my favourite.

    Scott: You mentioned it once.

    Lori: *lifts brow*

    Scott: *flips page*

    Lori: What's with the getup?

    Scott: I don't know what you mean. *sips coffee*

    Lori: The whole collared shirt suit combo...thing.

    Scott: I have a job that requires I wear something relatively professional.

    Lori: Yeah but you're wearing jeans and your hair know, all spiked in the front and you have one of those teeny silver chains around your neck.

    Scott: *flips page* Mhm.

    Lori: Since when?

    Scott: Causal Friday.

    Lori: *laughs* No no. No, this is not 'causal Friday'. Remember your style yesterday? Big man business suit, combed hair, were a pocket protector away from dorking out.

    Scott: Huh. *lifts head* You must have caught me on an off day. *smiles*

    Lori: I think Miami rubbed off on you.

    Scott: Nah, there was a large company meeting all week and I needed to 'dork out' so I didn't look like a yuppie in front of the 80-year old CEOs.

    Lori: *sits, grabs fork* Sure. You're not eating?

    Scott: I have to head to work.

    Lori: What time do you start?

    Scott: 10:30.

    Lori: *looks at watch* It's 8:30. Traffic can't be that bad.

    Scott: I have to take care of some things before my meeting this afternoon.

    Lori: That sounds boring.

    Scott: If there's one thing I've learned from living here, work can go from boring to exciting in seconds. I mean the office romances are the only thing keeping me there. That's why 80% of the people on my floor are women.

    Lori: *smirks* Funny.

    Scott: *smiles* It probably would have been awkward if you'd believed me.

    Lori: *stands* Look, I should apologize for poking fun at you last night, really. I didn't hear anything besides what I told you. Private conversations with someone are just that, I promise.

    Scott: Noted.

    Lori: What are you reading?

    Scott: Stocks.

    Lori: Fascinating.

    Scott: *folds paper* I'm off to work, feel free to use anything here and if you do leave, just put the key in my mailbox.

    Lori: *leaning on counter* It's my only day off today. *grabs papers from counter* Hey you have a bunch of brochures and stuff about your building here.

    Scott: Bailey left those. She thinks she's going to be a tour guide someday.

    Lori: *opens brochure* The Centerpiece of Manhattan. Wait, Bailey lied. Your office can't be on the 90th floor.

    Scott: *lifts brow* I work on the 80th floor.

    Lori: She's going to be a bad tour guide.

    Scott: *smiles* Maybe not, afterall, people can surprise one another.

    Lori: I guess.

    Scott: Are you going to be okay here?

    Lori: Um well actually I don't really feel that great about staying in someone else's home while they're not here.

    Scott: I could drop you off somewhere.

    Lori: Great, just let me put on my flip flops, I'm sure no one will mind the housecoat.

    Scott: I might be able to wait a few minutes.

    Lori: *laughs* I'm a woman. You don't put the words 'getting ready' and 'few minutes' in the same universe, let alone the same sentence.

    Scott: You mean it takes you more than 5 minutes?

    Lori: *frowns* You know, you're not very funny.

    Scott: *smiling*

    Lori: *runs upstairs*

    20 minutes later

    Lori: *opens drawer* ...SCOTT!

    Scott: *runs upstairs* Yeah? What is it? What's wrong?

    Lori: *lifts gun*

    Scott: *stares at gun*

    Lori: You have a gun in your apartment?

    Scott: Yeah.

    Lori: Why?

    Scott: It's not a crime to own a gun.

    Lori: Is it registered?

    Scott: Of course it's registered.

    Lori: It's not in a safe enclosed casing.

    Scott: Sorry officer, cuff me.

    Lori: *pulls out magazine* 6 in the magazine...*pulls back slide* one in the chamber. It's a little weird, don't you think?

    Scott: You're...strangely good at that.

    Lori: Stop avoiding.

    Scott: It's just a gun.

    Lori: The last time I found you with a gun, you almost blew your brains out.

    Scott: I bought it a long time ago for protection. Did you happen to check which city we're in?

    Lori: You keep a loaded gun in a dresser drawer on the upper level of your apartment because it's a big scary world.

    Scott: I was having my bedroom remodeled so this is where I put it. I don't use it.

    Lori: *looks down* It's been cleaned recently.

    Scott: There's no point in having a gun if it's not clean.

    Lori: But you said you don't use it.

    Scott: I don't. I haven't needed to since I moved in here, what's the huge problem?

    Lori: Do you have any other weapons?

    Scott: I have a butcher knife if you'd like to take that apart too.

    Lori: You know what, I'll take a cab back to my hotel. I don't want to jam you up or anything. *leaves*

    Scott: *lifts brows*

    Miami, 12pm

    Phone rings

    Josh: *grabs phone* Speedle.

    Lori: Hey it's Lori, I need a favor.

    Josh: Uh no. You're supposed to be rebuilding your life, not calling crime labs.

    Lori: Don't worry, it's just a background check on someone.

    Josh: Then double no. Where are you anyway?

    Lori: New York.

    Josh: Oh even better. Not my jurisdiction.

    Lori: You can't run a simple background check?

    Josh: First of all, they aren't simple and second of all, I'm not going to be an accomplice to what I can only assume is something illegal.

    Lori: I'm faxing you a serial number for a gun. I need you to run it.

    Josh: *looks over at fax machine*

    Fax machine starts to beep

    Josh: *angry sigh*

    Lori: I guarantee you this does not involve drugs, other weapons, mobs, gangs or money.

    Josh: *grabs laptop* If you're lying and this comes back to bite me in the ass, it's all on you, got it?

    Lori: Not a problem.

    Josh: *types, clicks mouse* ...Okay. Your gun is a Colt .45 M1911 registered to one Scott Finch.

    Lori: It looked custom.

    Josh: What you have is most-likely used for self defense if it's custom. It's probably the most widely-used gun on the planet.

    Lori: Okay, do a background on Scott Finch.

    Josh: Demanding, aren't we?

    Lori: Please?

    Josh: Better. *typing*

    Lori: Where are my parents, anyway?

    Josh: Last I checked, Mexico. Well, at least that's where their GPS puts them. They haven't left the one spot for a while though.

    Lori: Have you...spoken to them yet?

    Josh: No, sorry.

    Computer beeps

    Josh: Okay. Scott Finch lives in New York City, graduated top of his class at Columbia University and works as a Data Analyst for the global company Navacor.

    Lori: Any criminal records?

    Josh:, looks like he's clean. *lifts brows* Very clean.

    Lori: What do you mean?

    Josh: He recieved a Transportation 9-11 medal.

    Lori: What the hell is that?

    Josh: Says here it's a special decoration for those civilians and members of military whose individual acts of bravery resulted in the saving of life or great assistance to the rescue efforts from the September 11th attacks. Sounds like a standup guy.

    Lori: ...Okay so why's he in the system?

    Josh: I'm trying to figure that out.

    Lori: Would there be a reason he's in the system besides having a criminal record?

    Josh: *nods* Yeah, his DNA was entered into CODIS. There's three reasons why someone would be in CODIS. One, they're in the felony sex offenses and violent crimes index, two, they're in the Forensic index or three, they're in the population file. He wouldn't be in the population file and since he has no criminal record, that strikes out the felony sex offenses and violent crimes index.

    Lori: So we're looking for something in the Forensic index. Maybe his DNA was collected at a crime scene. And since you're able to see the information, it was forwarded nationally.

    Josh: Looks like it. I don't have access to anything more than that without authorization though. Lab policy.

    Lori: So you could contact the NYPD lab and find out why.

    Josh: Look, I'm okay with fact checking something within my grasp but I'm not going to call the New York CSIs to find out why his DNA was collected. I don't want to bump on a possible ongoing case and I don't want to rattle a cold one if I don't need to.

    Lori: Fine. I'll do it myself.

    Josh: Whoa, stop, no. You can't just walk into a crime lab and demand files especially since your record isn't exactly the cleanest.

    Lori: ...Is it possible his DNA was collected at ground zero?

    Josh: Uh yeah, I guess it's a possibility. They could have been using CODIS to identify bodies and his company may have wanted their surviving employees to give reference samples to rule out any blood or skin tissues they found but it's a bit of a longshot.

    Lori: Alright, I guess I'll leave it alone for now.

    Josh: Smart idea. He seems like a good guy, you shouldn't ruffle the poor man's feathers over nothing.

    Lori: You assume I know him.

    Josh: I know you and you're the kind of person that does a background check on all her prospective boyfriends.

    Lori: ...Can you blame me? At least I'm one step ahead of my mother who just goes out with everyone even if they're a psychotic serial killer. Anyway, thanks, I owe you one.

    Josh: Just get yourself in order hun, that'll be enough. *hangs up phone*

    Last edited: Aug 22, 2008
  7. cainesugar

    cainesugar Coroner

    Jan 22, 2007
    Likes Received:
    :lol: HAHAHA ohmigod Gen. :lol:

    But just because I prefer Smallville does not mean I don't like Supernatural. I do like it. :lol:

    Yeaaaaah, I'm the man of the Hummerhome. Move over Horatio... this is a job for *puts on shades* Lilly. *hides from Lora* :lol:

    Amazing update. :lol:
  8. racefh853629

    racefh853629 Pathologist

    May 1, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Haha, the snake bit was funny. And of course Eric gets stuck with no pants... hahaha. Love it!

    I also love the last line, with Josh and Lori, and him saying that her getting herself in order is enough. I think that's really sweet, and I love Josh for that. :)

    Awesome update!
  9. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

    Jun 22, 2005
    Likes Received:
    How very awesome! I loved the update...Yeah, yeah, the snake bit was hilarious...But Lora and Horatio out in the desert and the breaking of the I just about keeled over on that one! Leave it to you , Geni to put a smile on my face before going to work!

    I loved the banter between Lori and Scott. It was somewhat awkward but not, you know? Of course, Lori wouldn't be Lori without her background checks. I happen to think it's very responsible of her:D Scott sounds like the real deal- I sure hope they make it!

    Awesome update, as always!
  10. MacsLovlyAngl

    MacsLovlyAngl Head of the Graveyard Shift

    Jan 30, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Great job Geni, I'm loving the interaction with Bailey, Scott and Lori.

    Hope you update soon.:)
  11. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

    Jul 30, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Psh, CSI:Miami doesn't need Horatio when it has Lilly. :D

    Thanks so much for the reviews everyone, they make me all warm and fuzzy inside. :)


    New York, apartment, 7pm, bedroom

    Lori: *opens drawer* Damn. *closes drawer, walks over to bookshelf, grabs books*

    Door slams, keys jingle

    Lori: *stands straight*

    Scott: *walks over* What are you doing here?

    Lori: *spins around* HI! You're probably wondering what I'm doing here, I-I mean you obviously just asked why I'm here and I swear there's a good reason.

    Scott: *stares at Lori*

    Lori: *smiles*

    Scott: *steps aside* Living room, please.

    Lori: Are you mad?

    Scott: Confused would be a better expression.

    Living room

    Lori: *turns around* I don't get it, why are you confused?

    Scott: You left in a huff this morning so I assumed you were angry with me and now I come home to find you searching my bedroom, all smiles.

    Lori: Oh. And that's confusing?

    Scott: ...

    Lori: Alright, I admit, I did a teeny background check on you but I find it impossible that you're this good of a guy.

    Scott: What do you consider 'good'?

    Lori: Respectful, calm, accomodating, you actually name a few.

    Scott: So that makes you think you have the right to walk all over me and break into my apartment at your every whim.

    Lori: Well I still had the key from before it's not technically breakin' in.

    Scott: *frowns*

    Lori: Okay so now you're mad, right?

    Bailey: *walks in* Hey your door was open, thieves are just gonna walk righ-oh hey Lori! I didn't know you were here!

    Lori: *nervous smile* Yes I am.

    Scott: *places hands on hips*

    Bailey: Ooh Scotty looks snazzy today, I definitely prefer you without the glasses. Makes your eyes POP.

    Scott: *glaring*

    Bailey: Wow, you sure don't look amused. Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?

    Lori: He's mad because I was in his bedroom.

    Bailey: *smiles* Ooh naughty.

    Lori: *looks at Scott* I happen to think he's overreacting.

    Scott: *looks at Lori* And I happen to think Lori needs to learn boundaries.

    Lori: Well I happen to think Scott needs to learn to stop being so dismissive when someone says he deserves recognition.

    Scott: I don't.

    Lori: See?

    Bailey: Aww, this is so cute. Your first fight. *sigh*

    Scott: *staring at Lori*

    Lori: *staring at Scott*

    Scott: Are you finished searching through my life or is there something else I can divulge to you?

    Lori: How come your DNA is in CODIS?

    Scott: Jesus Christ, Lori.

    Lori: I'm just curious.

    Bailey: What's CODIS?

    Scott: Combined DNA Index System.

    Lori: Wow you know what CODIS is?

    Scott: *rubs eyes* Look, how about all is forgiven and you knock next time.

    Lori: Fine by me.

    Scott: Good.

    Bailey: So when are you two gonna hit the sack together?

    Scott/Lori: *look at Bailey*

    Bailey: Oh come on like I'm the only one who wants it to happen.

    Lori: You are. *looks around* ...Right?

    Scott: Yes.

    Lori: Definitely. Your bed's probably not that comfortable.

    Scott: *rolls eyes* Right, because we'd actually be sleeping.

    Lori: *looks at Scott* What do you think we'd be doing?

    Scott: Nothing. We're not having this conversation.

    Lori: Exactly. In fact, I didn't even set foot in your bedroom. Besides, you're not that hot anyway.

    Scott: Yeah, you're not my type.

    Lori: Thought so.

    Scott: *stares at Lori*

    Lori: *stares at Scott*

    Bailey: *looks around, twiddles thumbs*

    Lori: SO Bailey how about you meet me at my hotel *grabs Bailey* and we'll do that girl talk...thing that you always want.

    Scott: *runs over, opens door* Yeah, you should make some notes to prepare, in fact, run them by the doorman, I'm sure he'll be very interested.

    Bailey: *lifts brow* Okay so when should I expect you to be there?

    Lori: Depends on the traffic. An hour?

    Scott: Maybe two.

    Lori: *looks at Scott* Two?

    Scott: That night-time rush hour's a bitch.

    Bailey: There's no rush hour now.

    Scott: Pretend there is.

    Door slams

    Bailey: ...Wait, what?


    Calleigh: Why don't we just go look for them? I found a spare gas container so we could drive.

    Ryan: That sounds like a good idea. I'm tired of waiting for them.

    Delko: *from bathroom* I hate to be a killjoy but how do you expect to drive on the highway when I've got my ass flapping in the wind?

    Katie: Clench.

    Delko: *frowns*


    Calleigh: Huh, that little piece of chocolate was blocking the highway turnoff.

    Ryan: *gripping wheel* Are you sure we should get the Mexicans to search for Horatio and Lora? I mean we don't care when Mexicans go missing in America.

    Calleigh: *slaps Ryan* Stop being politically incorrect.

    Katie: Wait, why is Ryan allowed to drive?

    Calleigh: I'm looking at the map.

    Katie: How come I can't drive?

    Speed: Because you're bad at everything.

    Katie: *smiles* Not everything.

    Speed: *lifts brows*

    Anni: *punches Katie*

    Katie: OW! Ugh did you have to go for the stomach?

    Anni: Yes. Stop hitting on my husband.

    Katie: You don't even know what I was thinking about.

    Anni: He did.

    Speed: In my defense, I didn't agree.

    Anni: You want to get punched next? Shut up.

    Speed: Yes dear.

    Katie: *sticks tongue out* HA HA you got told by your wife.

    Speed: *frowns* You got punched by a dying woman.

    Katie: HEY. I can take any one of you.

    Speed: I doubt it.

    Katie: Yeah? Let's go. *stands, puts up fists, bounces around* Put 'em up! *jumps around*

    Speed: *sticks out leg*

    Katie: AH! *falls over*

    Ryan: Can you stop distracting me? I'm trying to understand these Spanish signs. Not to mention that vehicle behind us that keeps flashing his lights. What does PolicĂ­a mean?

    Katie: AH! THE FUZZ!

    Calleigh: Pull over, Ryan.

    Ryan: Quick, hide anything illegal.

    Hummerhome stops, cop walks over

    Cop: *lowers shades*

    Ryan: *smiles* Hello officer.

    Cop: Sir, are you aware that you have a half naked man hanging out your back window?

    Ryan: ...Why no officer, why do you ask?

    Cop: *frowns* Because you have a half naked man hanging out your back window.

    Ryan: Does it help that he's Mexican?

    Delko: CUBAN!

    Cop: *shakes head, writing ticket*

    Ryan: Do I only get half a ticket because he's half naked?

    Calleigh: *covers eyes* Oh Ryan.

    Cop: You're going to need to remove that. Your plate's in the middle and he's obstructing it.

    Ryan: No problem officer. *looks back* Eric! Spread your legs!

    Delko: NO!

    Cop: Either you remove him or we will.

    Ryan: *tilts head*

    Half hour later, outside, back of Hummerhome

    Ryan: You called Animal Control?

    Cop: I don't know the procedure for this kind of thing.

    AC Officer: What species of ape?

    Delko: HUMAN!

    AC Officer: We don't remove humans.

    Cop: Someone needs to remove him.

    AC Officer: Call hazmat.

    Delko: Call the fire department!

    Cop: They're busy putting out a fire in the desert.

    Ryan: Maybe we could cut the window frame and slide him out. Hey Eric, how do you feel about your ass being marinated in butter?

    Delko: About as great as you'll feel after I beat you to death.

    Ryan: Good answer.

    New York, apartment, 10pm

    Bailey: *bangs on door* HELLO!

    Scott: *opens door, leans on doorframe* What.

    Bailey: I've been waiting at the hotel forever! You know, they don't let you bother the doorman if you're not staying at the hotel. How come you're not wearing a shirt?You working out in there or something?

    Scott: *stares blankly* ...Not exactly.

    Bailey: Lemme in. *pushes door*

    Scott: *leans on door* You know what, I think you should come back tomorrow.

    Bailey: Why?

    Scott: Why not?

    Bailey: *narrows eyes*

    Scott: *scratches head*

    Bailey: ...OH! You and Lori are like, OKAY! Sorry, you'd think I would have figured it out 3 hours ago. *smiles* Kinky. *winks*

    Scott: *laughs* Hilarious. Please go away.

    Bailey: Awww I was rootin' for your kids to get together. You must tell me EVERYTHING.

    Scott: No. *swings door*

    Bailey: *pushes door* So who started it?

    Scott: Bye Bailey. *slams door*

    Bailey: Ha, I am the most awesome match-maker on the face of the planet.


    Fireman: *rubs chin* Huh.

    Cop: I know.

    AC Officer: We tried to get him out but he won't stop fidgeting.

    Fireman: So what do you want us to do?

    Cop: Get him out.

    Fireman: *laughs* Oh no no. I'll cut a fat dead guy out of his 12th storey apartment but I'm not going to touch that.

    Delko: HEY.

    Cop: Maybe we should try from the inside.

    AC Officer: Yeah that way I don't have to...stand under that.

    Inside Hummerhome

    Fireman: NOW!

    AC Officer/Cop: *pulls*

    Delko: OW OW OW!

    Fireman: How the hell did he fit in here?

    Delko: I've been asking myself that same question all night.

    Fireman: We're going to need to cut a very large hole and you're going to need to hold still.

    Delko: But I can't. I'm itchy and I can't scratch.

    Speed: Thanks for the mental image, Eric.

    Delko: Shut up.

    2 hours later

    Fireman: *turns off electric saw* Okay, he should fall right out n-

    Eric falls out of Hummerhome

    Delko: AH!

    Everyone: *looks over edge*

    Delko: *covering eyes* I can't look, are my limbs in tact? I haven't been able to feel them since I got stuck.

    Speed: Don't worry Eric...everything's in tact.

    Delko: Oh good.

    Colton: *throws blanket*

    Firetruck rolls up

    Horatio: *steps out of firetruck*

    Lora: *jumps out*

    Lilly: H is back!

    Lora: *frowns* And Lora.

    Horatio: ...What happened to my Hummerhome?

    Speed: Eric Delko. Does that help?

    Horatio: *looks down at ground*

    Delko: *looks up, waves* Hi.

    Horatio: I don't want to know. *walks away*

    Delko: *sits up* But I have a very valid explanation!

    Speed: Eric, no matter how true it is, it's not valid.

  12. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

    Jun 22, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Geni! That is the most awesome update ever! We have Scott and Lori so deep in sexual tension, it's a wonder that they got Bailey out of there without tearing their clothes off. I'm so very glad that they hooked up! Loved the set up and everything! Just awesome.

    And of course...Eric Delko...words actually escape me. Honestly , I'm trying to think of something witty to say, but it aint coming. I'm just in awe of how utterly hilarious one man could be---and he's NOT TRYING :guffaw: You have put a smile on my face today, thanks to a exposed ass and Animal Control officers... What a combo, right?

    Awesome as ever, Geni!
  13. MacsLovlyAngl

    MacsLovlyAngl Head of the Graveyard Shift

    Jan 30, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Wonderful update Geni. Big YAY for Scott and Lori. About time is right:lol:

    Oh my, poor,poor, Eric. I can just picture his face along with the Officer's and Fire Dept.:lol:

    Looking forward to your next update. Can't wait.:)
  14. racefh853629

    racefh853629 Pathologist

    May 1, 2008
    Likes Received:
    *dies laughing about Eric's situation*

    *revives self* Holy crap that's funny. Loved Lori and Scott too... too bad there wasn't something better to distract Bailey :lol:

    Awesome update!
  15. cainesugar

    cainesugar Coroner

    Jan 22, 2007
    Likes Received:
    You know it! :D

    That was amazing... :lol: All I got to say. Hazmat was on its way. :lol:
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