Alright, after a lot of RL crap, I'm finally back.
*****************
Apartment, 9am, next day
Anni: *runs into kitchen* I have the towel over here.
Speed: I thought it was out here.
Anni: No, Tim, towels go in the kitchen.
Speed: I thought they went into the closet.
Anni: Where did Katie keep her kitchen towels?
Speed: She has nothing to do with us.
Anni: I'm just asking.
Speed: Don't.
Anni: Fine. *throws towel* Clean up the puke.
Speed: You wouldn't have to run all the way over there if you kept the towels in the baby's room.
Anni: Baby's room? The baby sleeps in
our room.
Speed: That's because we don't have another room.
Anni: Put him in Lori's room.
Speed: We're using that for storage.
Anni: Yeah well thanks for tearing up the cheque.
Speed: I'm not taking money from your parents.
Anni: Life would have been easier if we did.
Speed: And then what? What would have happened when we ran out? We'd start all over again.
Anni: I didn't say our life would have been perfect, just easier.
Speed: We're fine.
Anni: We're not fine, Tim. We have no room for anything. You might spend all day at the lab but I spend all day here and I hate it.
Speed: So sit on the patio.
Anni: I'm not going to sit on the patio.
Speed: Why did you order all of this baby stuff?
Anni: We need it.
Speed: *lifts bibs* Matching his and hers bibs. We only have one child, Anni.
Anni: We could have more.
Speed: Not like this we won't.
Anni: Are you going to work?
Speed: I have a job, I have to go. Horatio isn't here.
Anni: So? Ryan's there.
Speed: Ryan's not in charge.
Anni: Neither are you.
Speed: I can't just leave them alone at the lab.
Anni: You can't just leave me alone in here! I have five loads of laundry. I can't take care of a baby and do the wash at the same time. You want me to wash the clothes in the sink or something?
Speed: I'm sorry, I can't break away today.
Anni: Why?
Speed: Because I have a job. You want to keep this apartment or do you want to live on a curb?
Anni: The curb has more room. Call in sick.
Speed: I'm not going to lie.
Anni: Lie.
Speed: No.
Anni: I cannot do this by myself.
Speed: You can survive without me for a day.
Anni: And what about tomorrow? You're just going to say the same thing. You're the one who wanted the kid.
Speed: Okay, look, if I don't go in today, I'm going to get fired. I've spent too many days away already.
Anni: Who's going to fire you? Horatio's half way to LA by now.
Speed: He doesn't have to be there to fire me.
Anni: He never fires anyone.
Speed: That's not the point. I can't just stay here forever while the money continues to go down the drain.
Anni: Okay how about I go to work and you stay here and take care of a non-stop crying baby?
Speed: You're on leave.
Anni: What difference will it make which one of us goes into work?
Speed: You have no idea what's going on.
Anni: I can ask. It's not that hard.
Speed: And you want to fill out my paperwork too? Forge my signature?
Anni: The paperwork can wait.
Speed: So why go in?
Anni: Exactly.
Speed: *frowns* One of us has to go.
Anni: And I vote that person is yours truly.
Speed: Why?
Anni: Because you haven't seen our son all week.
Speed: I just did two minutes ago. He spit up all over me.
Anni: Two minutes isn't enough. *grabs keys* I'm going to work.
Speed: Dressed like that?
Anni: *places hands on hips* You want to run that by me again?
Speed: You don't exactly look prepared to go to work.
Anni: I need five minutes.
Speed: Five...Whole minutes?
Anni: Don't start with me. *walks into bedroom, slams door*
Speed: *sigh*
Miami Lab, 10am
Ryan: *looking at folder*
Anni: *walks over* New case?
Ryan: Yeah. *reading* Dead hooker found in a dumpster.
Anni: Tragic.
Ryan: Aren't you supposed to be on leave?
Anni: *grabs folder* Not today.
Ryan: Oh.
Anni: Have you already been to the crime scene?
Ryan: Yeah Lilly and I processed. I also hear the team's in a bit of a jam on the road.
Anni: Really?
Ryan: Yeah they hit a snag.
Anni: Like how?
Ryan: They got jammed up.
Anni: Okay, just say something I can understand.
Ryan: Horatio ran into another cow.
Anni: *sigh* Of course he did.
Ryan: That's all I've heard. Hey where's Speed?
Anni: He's playing mommy for a while. I'm sure it shouldn't be too much trouble for him, he's had a billion kids.
Ryan: You sound mad.
Anni: I'm fine.
Ryan: Anything I can do?
Anni: Yeah, kill all the men in the world.
Ryan: Wouldn't that be murder?
Anni: Make it look like an accident. Round 'em all up and blow a giant fart near a flame or something. They can all laugh like idiots before they burn to death.
Ryan: ...Interesting.
Anni: *shakes head* Where's Lilly?
Ryan: She was on her way back from autopsy.
Lilly: *walks in* I heard my name.
Anni: Where were you?
Lilly: Autopsy.
Anni: And?
Lilly: And...Someone died?
Anni: What killed her?
Lilly: ...Death.
Anni: Excuse me?
Lilly: Well technically it was a gunshot wound to the abdomen but death killed her.
Anni: I'm not here to play games.
Lori: *walks over* Ryan, can I t-
Anni: SPEEDLE!
Lori: *blinks* ...Yes ma'am?
Anni: YOU!
Lori: What did I do?
Anni: YOU!
Lori: Ah man, did he cheat on you or something?
Anni: UGH HE'S SUCH A MAN!
Lori: I'd be scared if he wasn't.
Anni: NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND ME! *runs out*
Ryan: ...
Lilly: ...
Lori: ...Huh. He's turned two wives crazy. That's what I call talent.
Ryan/Lilly: *look at Lori*
Hummerhome
Delko: What's the damage, H?
Horatio: *bends over* Well it appears there isn't m-
Pants rip in the middle
Horatio: *looks back*
Delko: *smirks*
Horatio: I thought I lost that Thanksgiving weight.
Delko: You need a new pair of pants or something?
Horatio: That would be a good idea.
Delko: *looks over side of Hummerhome* Well when you hit that cow, everything went flying out the window.
Horatio: Those were supposed to be bullet proof.
Delko: Yeah but apparently not cow proof.
Horatio: *snaps* THAT'S what I was going to add onto the Hummerhome.
Delko: So now that all of your clothes are sitting in a pile of mud, what now?
Horatio: I suppose I should sew my pants back together.
Katie: *snaps camera*
Horatio: *looks up at window*
Katie: *grabs poloroid, waves picture*
Delko: *laughs*
Horatio: *wide-eyed* Young lady, give me that picture.
Katie: *shakes head* No way, I'm going to show Stetler.
Horatio: NO! *runs into Hummerhome*
Katie: *giggling* I got H in his...*looks at picture* Pink polka dot undies! *waves picture*
Horatio: *grabs at picture*
Katie: *pulls picture away* Didn't know you liked vibrant colors.
Horatio: Give it.
Katie: You shouldn't have had that extra piece of turkey then, Mister Savior of Miami.
Horatio: You think I'll still have that title after people see that?
Katie: Depends on what they see in a savior.
Horatio: *frowns* Miss Katie, give that to me.
Katie: *laughs* I wonder if I can scan this over to Ricky.
Horatio: Don't.
Katie: Or what?
Horatio: Or I'll..I'll...I'll...DAMNIT.
Katie: *wide-eyed*
Everyone: *staring at Horatio*
Katie: *gasp* JESUS DOESN'T SWEAR!
Horatio: I'M NOT JESUS!
Everyone: *GASP*
Horatio: Oh come on guys, we all knew it. I even wet my bed until I was six.
Delko: *crosses arms* Wow, a whole other side of Horatio that we never saw.
Calleigh: I heard that his mother called him Chauncy because she couldn't remember his name. Alzheimers.
Horatio: WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT OUT!
Calleigh: I read it in your diary.
Horatio: *staring at Calleigh* No one's supposed to know about that.
Calleigh: Oops.
Katie: Do you have a picture of it?
Calleigh: Oh yeah, here. *hands over picture*
Katie: WOW! It has streamers in the coils. I wish I had one like this.
Horatio: Give me the pictures.
Katie: No way.
Horatio: I'll arrest you.
Katie: For what?
Horatio: Burglary.
Katie: Look if I wanted to steal anything, it wouldn't be a picture of your ass.
Horatio: GIVE IT TO ME! *jumps on Katie*
Katie: *screams*
Delko: Quick, get the fire extinguisher!
Calleigh: They're not on fire.
Delko: *grabs fire extinguisher* I'LL SAVE YOU, H!
Carly: Oh great.
Jess: *covers head* The end is near, the end is near, the end is near.
Delko: Crud, it's not going. *smacking extinguisher against wall*
Door flies open
Delko: AH! *falls over*
Katie: AHHH! *trips backward*
Horatio: HOLY SAINT H-MAN! *flies into steering wheel*
Hummerhome begins to roll into ditch
Delko: Uh oh.
Hummerhome crashes into ditch, rolls over, rolls down second hill
Jess: *screaming*
Delko: *grabs cupboards* I'M TOO AWESOME TO DIE!
Ten minutes later
Carly: *lifts head* ...
Jess: Please tell me we landed on the ground.
Horatio: *looks out window* Yeah we're on the ground.
Katie: *looks at picture* Ha, I managed to save it.
Everyone: *staring at Katie*
Katie: *smiles* Polka dots. I love it.
Ballistics lab, 1pm
Anni: *putting gun together*
Speed: *walks in* Hey.
Anni: *frowning*
Speed: *walks over, places hand on Anni's shoulder* I-
Anni: *walks over to gel block* Where's Jake.
Speed: I left him with your mother.
Anni: Great, she probably thinks I'm incompetant now.
Speed: Is there something else going on?
Anni: No.
Speed: I'm sorry about this morning.
Anni: *pulls bullet out of gel block* I bet.
Speed: It was a stupid fight.
Anni: Tell that to the couch because that's where you'll be sleeping tonight.
Speed: Do you even know why you're mad?
Anni: I'm just some weak woman who can't work.
Speed: No. I didn't say that. You just had a child, you shouldn't be at work. It's stressful enough doing one thing and now you want to come back here?
Anni: I don't see why you can't just stay home with a baby.
Speed: I would but I happen to be missing the part of me that provides milk.
Anni: *sigh* I'm sorry. *walks over*
Speed: *wraps arms around Anni* It's okay.
Anni: I will go over to my mother's and pick him up.
Speed: *nods*
Anni: *leaves*
TBC...................
