Quotes you WON'T hear - Pt 2

Haven't done this in a while, but...Stole these from Mutant X.

SARA: I knew I shouldn't have worn these pants. My underwear's riding up.
CATH: You're wearing underwear?
SARA: You're not?
GRISSOM: *pokes head in* Are you two done?
CATH: Yeah, I'd say that about covers it.

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HODGES: Call me paranoid, but I figure the paranoid shall inherit the earth.
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LADY HEATHER: You know the both of you make it sound like all I ever think about is sex. The truth is, I only think about sex half the time.
GRISSOM: The other half of the time she's thinking about poetry.
CATH: Which just makes her think more about sex.
LADY HEATHER: But you're not supposed to know that.

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(Grissom has just beaten Warrick and Greg at chess)

GRISSOM: (smug) It's another example of using your opponent's weaknesses against them.
WARRICK: Oh, please.
GREG: We've been hearing that since day one.
GRISSOM: No, no, I'm serious. *to warrick* In your case, your recklessness leaves you wide open. *to Greg* And you - you play so cautiously I can read you like a book.
WARRICK: Yeah, well, you wanna know what I think?
WARRICK AND GREG TOGETHER: He cheats!
 
Grissom: *singing a part of "baby got back"* Oooo! rumple-smooth-skin, ya wanna get in my bins?well use me ,use me, you aint that average groove-thang!
Cath: *starts dancing with gil*
 
Sara: Pssst, Cath.. you got a moment?
Cath: Sure. How can I help you?
Sara: Tell me... how do you dance and strip wearing 4 inch heels?
 
Oh man! These are awesome! I could spend hours in here.... Can't come up with my own quotes so i'm just reading everyone else's....
 
ok, no one posted, so I'm posting again...

*Nick walks into the lab looking a bit pale*
Greg: Hey Nick, what's wrong?
Nick: You know how we never see Sara during the day?
Greg: Yeah...
Nick: And how she drank Grissom's blood experiment?
Greg: Yeah...
Nick: Well I was just at her house. She sleeps in a coffin...
Greg: Nick, what were you doing in her bedroom?!
Nick: Wouldn't you like to know... :devil:

Yeah, it's a bit lame. honestly it did sound better in my head... :rolleyes:
 
~GRISSOM to the TEAM~

Gris: "I'm going to be out of the LAB for a few weeks, so I am leaving Hodges is charge!"


(lol...as if ) :lol:
 
(Greg is driving home in his little Mazda looking frazzled. He drives into Henderson and his car starts weaving. A local cop pulls him over then walks over to the driver's side window.)

Cop: What's your name buddy?

Greg: Umm..... uh....

Cop: So ya don't know yer name, huh? That's probable cause. Outta the car buddy...

(Greg gets out, the cop turns him around and cuffs him).

Cop: You have the right to remain silent... uh.... you have the right to.... in a court of law... aw f**k this $#!+!!! (The cop releases the safetey, chambers a bullet and fires at Greg, decapitating him.)

(Greg suddenly comes too and realizes he's falling asleep at the wheel. He pulls over into a parking space and a cop car drives past his. He breathes a sigh of relief. Then he picks up a jar full of bugs and looks at it strangely...)
 
(Greg is lying asleep, then wakes up to see a weird Alien creature with a Giant head covered with eyes reading from a scroll that says "The Sins of Greg Sanders" standing over him next to his bed.)

Alien Creature: These are the Sins of Greg Sanders. They will be read one at a time. It will continue without end. Age 2, kicked his baby sister in the stomach. Age 3, stole a piece of bubble gum from the 7-eleven, pooped on the bathroom floor after taking off his diaper...

Greg: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET TO AGE 12 WHEN I DISCOVERED SELF-PLEASURE!!! :eek: :devil: AIIIIYYYEEEE!!!
 
Man: Greg, wake up. GREG!!! Wake up!!!
Greg: Who are you?
Man: I am your great great great great grandson. I have traveled back in a time machine to talk to you.
Greg: Coooool. What's up.
Man: You have embarrassed the whole family tree. There are pictures of you on your 21st century internet where you danced with a showgirl head gear. Your foot fungus has been passed down from generation to generation. And I am tired of all the old tales of Uncle Olaf. Get with it. Grow up so we won't be the butt of all the jokes. *Disappears*
Greg: I've got to stop eating that spicy food before going to bed.
 
HAHAHA!! These are all so funny!! Hankster , That is from Scanner Darkly right. Love it!

I gonna try one of these.

(Nick & Warrick are in the break room, When Greg runs in)
Greg: MINDFREAK!!!!!! (runs away)
Nick: WTF?
Warrick: I think someone spiked his coffee agian!
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Greg: I think I'm going to grow a mullet.
 
Sanderslov: Yep. Somehow, Freck seems to fit Greg for some odd reason...

Greg Sanders: You're the only person in the known universe who's never heard of the Heimlich maneuver?

Dave Hodges: Alright, I'm gonna give you a little feedback since you seem to be proceeding through life like a cat without whiskers perpetually caught behind the refrigerator. Your life and watching you live it is like a gag-reel of ineffective bodily functions. I swear to God that a toddler has a better understanding of the intricacies of chew-swallow-digest-don't kill yourself on your TV dinner! And yet you've managed to turn this near death mess-up of yours into a moral referendum on me!

Greg Sanders: You sir, are a monster!

Dave Hodges: You sir, are a billy goat!
 
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