Quotes you WON'T hear - Pt 2

(Ecklie comes into the start of the Night Shift meeting with a very hot, young, 20 something blonde girl.)

Ecklie: Okay you creatures from the Black Lagoon! Listen up! I've brought you an intern who'll be shadowing some of you on your shifts this summer. She's a student at Hearst College in Southern California and she's studying Criminology and Forensics.

(Greg starts checking her out and looking like a big grinning puppy dog. However, this girl doesn't give him a second look. She then looks at Nick, and she goes all doe eyed.)

Ecklie: For some strange reason, she has requested to shadow the Night Shift, rather than my professional, elite corps on the day shift. However, since her dad used to the the Sheriff in that town, is a private investigator, and is my brother-in-law, I can't say no to her.

Greg: Can I ask her out on a date?

Ecklie: (Gets right in Greg's face) What part of NO don't you understand? I just said she's my frigging NIECE, Sanders! (Ecklie points two fingers at his own eyes and then one at Greg.) I got my eye on you. You so much as look at her cross-eyed, I'll be all over your ass like a hardened criminal in TDCJ on a new fish!

Greg: (Gulps) Sorry sir!

Grissom: (Stands up and shakes the girl's hand) We're always glad to have a student along that is interested in Forensics and Criminology. We're all going to do our best to make her feel welcome and show her the tools of the trade.

(The young woman is still looking doe-eyed at Nick, who gives her a quick wink with a twinkle in his eye and a confident smirk.)

Ecklie: Now that's what I wanted to hear. Everyone, meet my niece: Veronica Mars!!!

Okay--it's wishful thinking on my part. Still... :devil:
 
labgeekluvr said:
Even better...

Ecklie: What is your name?
Grissom: King Arthur of Camelot?
Ecklie: What is your quest?
Grissom: To search for the holy grail.
Ecklie: What is the velocity of a swallow?
Grissom: African or European?
Ecklie: I don't know...WAIT...AHHHHH!!! (mysteriously disappears)
Click to expand...


:lol: :lol:

more monty python.....
Doc Robbins: I wish to make a complaint.
Ecklie: What's wrong?
Robbins: The parrot I bought here earlier is dead.
Ecklie: Oh, the Norweign Blue. Beatiful Plummage!
He's just resting.....
Robbins: He's deceased.
Ecklie: He's pining for the fjords.
Robbins: He's not pining. He's passed on! The only reason he was standing on his perch was becaused he'd been nailed
there!
Ecklie: He's just resting.
Robbins: Well, then let's wake him up! (bangs dead parrot on counter) Hello, Polly!
Ecklie: What are doing?!
Robbins: He's dead! He's pushing up the daises!This is an EX-PARROT!
Ecklie: I never wanted to be a pet a shop owner. I wanted to be a Lumberjack! (sings lumberjack song)
 
This isn't exact, it's been a while since I've seen "Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but this is based on whatever I can remember off the top of my head

Doc Robbins: Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!
Grissom: Here you go.
Victim: I'm not dead yet.
Grissom: Yes you are, be good now.
Victim: But I'm not dead, I feel HAPPY!
Doc Robbins: He's not quite dead.
Grissom: He will be shortly, can't you come back?
Doc Robbins: Not 'til next Thursday.
Grissom: Isn't there something you can do?
(Doc Robbins bashes victim with his cane)
 
Brass is interrogating a suspect about a murder.

Suspect: I'm glad he is pushing up daisies.
Brass: Ee is not pushing up daisies ee is dead!
Suspect: It's an idiom.
Brass: You Sir! Are zee idiom!

Brass: Victim was found dead shot in the head.
Grissom: Was it fatal?
Brass: Yes.
Grissom: How fatal?
Brass: *confused* Completely.
Grissom: I must speak with him now.
Brass: But he is dead.
Grissom: AH!

You gotta love you’re Pink Panther quotes!
 
Courtroom scene

District Attorney: What did the autopsy show you.
Doc Robbins: The victim was dead.
D.A.: How did he die?
Robbins: His brain was removed.
D.A.: Could the victim have survived without a brain?
Robbins: Well, if Conrad Ecklie can do it...
 
Dynamo1 said:
Courtroom scene

District Attorney: What did the autopsy show you.
Doc Robbins: The victim was dead.
D.A.: How did he die?
Robbins: His brain was removed.
D.A.: Could the victim have survived without a brain?
Robbins: Well, if Conrad Ecklie can do it...
Click to expand...

This made me laugh loads its great!
 
Grissom walks into the lab.
*Clunka clunka*
Grissom: What was that, Greg?
Greg: What was what?
Grissom: What was that noise?
Greg: Oh, that was Waldo. He is our new sound effects man. Law & Order has the "doink doink* sound. Now we have Waldo and his "clunka clunka."
 
I was just reading over a few of these! Really funny! Here's one that I hope no one has done just yet.

Grissom and Sara are walking through a convenience store somewhere near a crime scene.
Sara stops and stares at the tv guide.
Grissom stops and stares at the tv guide.
Grissom and Sara: Sh**.

sry its a little late and cliche. I'm trying to think of something that would combine CSI and the office. tehe... Any ideas?
 
random interviewer: "What would you do for a klandik bar?"
Griss: "I'd kill a bug."
Cath: "I'd stop looking for a man."
Warrick: "I'd shave my head."
Nick: "I'd sit in a small box."
Sara: "I'd admit that I'm not the best CSI on the team."
Greg: "You name it, I'll do it."
 
^ROFL, specially at Sara's. I love her but it's so true :D

Nick: "Hey, Greg, what's that you're eating?"
Greg: "Tofu salad."
Nick: "Salad?!"
Greg: "Salad. It's good, wanna try some?"
Nick: *faints*
 
MrsGregHSanders said:
random interviewer: "What would you do for a klandik bar?"
Griss: "I'd kill a bug."
Cath: "I'd stop looking for a man." or: "I'd kill my child." :D (She would NEVER, NEVER do that ;))
Warrick: "I'd shave my head."
Nick: "I'd sit in a small box."
Sara: "I'd admit that I'm not the best CSI on the team."
Greg: "You name it, I'll do it."
Click to expand...
 
LOL Funny but freaky at the same time :D

Ooh...Greg: I'd never drink Hawaiian Blue again

Ecklie: I'd kiss Grissom (ewwwww lol)

What about Brass? I can't think of one for him.
 
Here's some more on that one...

Grissom: I'd never quote Shakespeare again. :(
Greg: I'd never try to impress Grissom again. :lol:
Sara: I'd eat a steak.(I know. It's not right.) :eek:
 
Ecklie: I think grissom deserves a promotion
Cath: I think I quit CSI and become a dancer
Nicky: I want to grow a ponytail
Sara: I like my steak rare please!
Grissom: bugs are boring
 
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