~Quotes You WON'T Hear # 3~

Discussion in 'CSI: Miami' started by Need4Speed, Jul 29, 2007.

  1. Hankster

    Hankster Coroner

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    (Erik walks into the lab and sees Natalia Boa Vista sitting there, looking into space, with a stressed out expression on her face...)

    Erik: Hey Natalia. You got any results yet...

    Natalia: (Not registering that Erik Delko is there) I can't believe... I got so drunk... that I did... THAT....

    Erik: Okay, you get drunk on girly drinks like mimosas...

    Natalia: Worse than that... Tequila shooters... One thing led to another...

    Erik: So... that happens to everyone sometimes...

    Natalia: You DON'T understand... a woman has to have her STANDARDS...

    Erik: A case of Coyote Ugly™. eh?

    Natalia: Worse than that...

    Erik: (Trying not to roll his eyes at this point) Okay... what was it that was so bad?

    Natalia: (Clearly trying to supress a gag or a big sob, or both) I had sex with FRANK TRIPP....

    Erik: Aw crap...

    Natalia: and I LIKED IT!!!

    Erik: So... it happens sometimes... the bald guys... they surprise you just like the homely women do...

    Natalia: And unlike you, and Ryan... HE BROUGHT ME TO CLIMAX!!!! (She starts bawling really loudly!)

    Erik: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.... NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
     
  2. ILuvJonathanTogo

    ILuvJonathanTogo Coroner

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    Okay, thats somewhat disturbing...but hilarious :lol:
     
  3. future_cop

    future_cop Lab Technician

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    Ryan:Eric will you marry me?
    Eric: :eek:

    okay that was really lame.
     
  4. Leftyguitar

    Leftyguitar Police Officer

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    And now for something completely different...
    ( Gotta love Monty Python)

    Stetler: Ryan, you're fired.

    Ryan: I never wanted to be a CSI. I wanted to be...
    A LUMBERJACK!


    Stetler: :eek:

    Ryan: (continues) Leaping from tree to tree on the mighty British Columbia!
    *sings* I'm A Lumberjack and I'm okay...
     
  5. Need4Speed

    Need4Speed Coroner

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    OOOOMMMMMGGGGG YYYYEEEESSSSSS!!!!!! Monty Python humor!!!!!! Whoot!!!

    more monty python humor....

    Eric: OMG RYAN!!! You have a huge nail sticking out of your eye!!!!!
    Ryan:it's just a flesh wound...
     
  6. calleighandjake

    calleighandjake Hit and Run

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    LOL, that's awsome. Poor Natalia. I can imagine Ryan as a lumberjack. :lol:
     
  7. Leftyguitar

    Leftyguitar Police Officer

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    LOL...
    Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail is my favorite movie ever, and for them to make the bes of biggest joke in the movie, the budget!

    Anyhow...

    Ryan: The murder is the bunny rabbit.
    H: Yeah right.
    Ryan: He's a killer!
    H: Pffft. I'l go bring him in, then.
    Ryan: Wait...
    H: Arrgh!
    Ryan: I warned him. Where's the Holy Hand Gernade?
     
  8. calleighismyhero

    calleighismyhero Prime Suspect

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    I LOVE THIS ONE!!!
    Calleigh's role is the best!!! :lol:
     
  9. calleighismyhero

    calleighismyhero Prime Suspect

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    I LOVE THIS ONE!!!
    calleigh getting shot by herself was expesally funny!
    :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  10. calleighismyhero

    calleighismyhero Prime Suspect

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    HOLARIOUS!!!!
    that one rocks
     
  11. calleighismyhero

    calleighismyhero Prime Suspect

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    ha i like that!
     
  12. calleighismyhero

    calleighismyhero Prime Suspect

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    ok here goes:

    Hagen: so u wanna grab a cup of coffe?
    calleigh: not tonite hagen, i have got some work to do.
    *calleigh walks over to the gun rack looking for a specific gun. behind her hagen mutters a swear to himself.
    he begins to put his badge on the table and his gun holster. he turns around to be face to face with calleigh
    calleigh: wat in the hell are u doing hagen?!?!
    Hagen: dam calleigh can't anyone committ suicide with out u all in there face?!
     
  13. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

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    calleighismyhero, please refrain from double+ posting. If you wish to add more, you may use the 'edit' button beside the 'reply' function for up to 24 hours. Otherwise, it may be seen as spamming. Thanks! :) (If you have any questions, feel free to send me a PM)
     
  14. Carolyn_333

    Carolyn_333 Pathologist

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    Tis the season.
    So here's a Christmas themed one.

    *Frank is in a Santa suit, complete with mustache, beard and hair.*
    Frank(in a monotone but slightly grumpy voice): Ho. Ho. Ho.
    Horatio: Come on, Francis, you can be more jolly than that.
    Frank(in loud, grumpy, slightly angry voice): Don't call me Francis. And no I can't.

    *Horatio whispers something to Frank. Frank suddenly does a 180 in attitude. He's now the jolliest Santa in Miami.*
    Frank(in a loud, very jolly, happy voice): Ho!!! Ho!!! Ho!!! Merry Christmas!!! (to Alexx): Merry Christmas young lady.
    *Frank picks all of Alexx's gifts out his Santa bag and hands them to her.*
    Frank: Merry Christmas!!! (to Stetler in a more serious, less jolly voice): Merry Christmas young man.
    *Frank hands Stetler one little square box.*
    *Stetler opens it.*
    Stetler: What's this??? A lump of coal???
    *Calleigh, who is with Natalia and Valera, walks by and sees Stetler's lump of coal.*
    Calleigh: Someone's been a naughty boy.
    *Natalia and Valera and also Alexx, who is nearby, all start snickering and giggling.*
    *Stetler stomps off angry, insulted and embarrassed.*
    Ryan(to Horatio): Horatio. What did you whisper to Frank that made him change his attitude about playing Santa???
    Horatio: Lend me your ear and I'll whisper it to you.

    *Horatio whispers in Ryan's ear.*
    *Ryan starts laughing hysterically.*
    *Ryan calms down a minute.*
    Ryan: You're kidding. Aren't you, Horatio???
    Horatio: Nope.

    *Ryan starts laughing hysterically again.*
    *Ryan calms down a minute again.*
    Ryan: Does Eric know???
    Horatio(in a stern, I-mean-business voice): No!!! And don't you tell him, Mr. Wolfe.
    Ryan: My lips are sealed. That'd sure make me change my attitude.

    *Ryan walks off laughing hysterically.*
    Horatio(quietly to himself): We'll see if what I have on you Mr. Wolfe is as funny or works as well when I ask you to be Santa's elf. First, I gotta go blackmail Calleigh into playing Mrs. Claus.

    I think I made it obvious that whatever Horatio has on Frank involves Eric. Here's why I think I made it obvious.
    Ryan: Does Eric know???
    :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:

    ============================================================

    OOPS!!!
    I knew I forgot something.

    HAPPY HANUKKAH, MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY KWANZAA and HAPPY NEW YEAR to the members of this forum.
     
  15. Need4Speed

    Need4Speed Coroner

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    lol know i want to know what H has on them all ;)
     

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