~Quotes You WON'T Hear # 3~

Discussion in 'CSI: Miami' started by Need4Speed, Jul 29, 2007.

  1. Leftyguitar

    Leftyguitar Police Officer

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    0
    LOL You guys are funny.

    This was inspired by last night's eppie:

    Ryan is sleeping when phone rings.

    Ryan: *grumbles* Next time I'm gunna turn the damn thing off. *Into Phone* What is Frank?
    Frank: Wear green tommarrow.
    Ryan: Why?
    Frank: Just do it.
    Ryan: Whatever. *Hangs up and goes back to sleep*

    THAT Morning

    Ryan walks over and sees Frank is wearing a Green tie.His shirt is the same color.

    Ryan: Frank,...
    *is interupted by arrival of Calliegh. she sees the matching clothes*
    Cal: *does double take* Why are you guys wearing matching clothes?
    Ryan:I don't know.
    Frank: But don't we look so cute together?
    Calliegh: Errmmm...
     
  2. Carolyn_333

    Carolyn_333 Pathologist

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,445
    Likes Received:
    2
    What do you get when you combine Horatio's line "Burn, baby, burn" from the season 5 episode Curse of the Coffin with last night's scene of a clean and uninjured Horatio getting out of the exploded Hummer???
    This is what you get.
    ============================================================
    *Horatio comes in and everyone is dressed exactly like him. Including the style, thickness and color of his hair. And also sunglasses just like his.*
    HORATIO: What's going on here???
    CALLEIGH: Today is Horatio Caine day.
    RYAN: It was Stetler's ideal.
    HORATIO: Rick. I just have one question: Why???
    STETLER: For your getting out of that burning Hummer yesterday clean and uninjured.
    ERIC: Yeah. That was pretty amazing, H.
    HORATIO: Clean and uninjured??? Amazing??? Then what would you call this???
    *Horatio opens the entire front of his shirt. His chest and stomach area have one, BIG burn on them.*
    CALLEIGH, RYAN, STETLER, ERIC, NATALIA, FRANK, VALERA(overlaping):
    Oh!!!
    EW!!!
    I didn't need to see that!!!
    Make way before I puke on you!!!
    And I thought Alexx popping that bloater in Death Eminentwas disgusting.
    Excuse me.
    Never a barf bag around when you need one.
    ALEXX(quietly to self): Oh come on, people. Take some Pepto Bismol and deal with it. I've seen a whole lot worse on my autopsy table. (normal speaking volume to Horatio): Are you okay, Horatio???
    HORATIO: I'm fine, Alexx. The ER doctor said it's just a surface burn. He gave me some ointments and creams to put on it to keep it from getting infected and to keep it from leaving a big, noticeable scar.
    ALEXX: That's good. Since you seem to be okay, would you mind if I go check on everyone else???
    HORATIO: Go ahead, Alexx.
    *Everyone has cleared out. Some have gone to the restrooms and some have gone outside. Alexx is going around checking on all of them.*
    *Horatio is in the hall alone now.*
    HORATIO(quietly to himself): That is the last time I say something stupid like "Burn, baby, burn" when we have evidence or anything else, for that matter, in this lab that is supposedly unlucky, jynxed or cursed.
    ============================================================
    See??? When I do the writing, Horatio gets injured. :devil:
     
  3. Leftyguitar

    Leftyguitar Police Officer

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ryan: This is a dead parrot.
    Pet shop owner: He's just resting.
    Ryan: :mad: THIS IS AN EX-PARROT! I can prove it. *calls Alex she goes into the shop after a moment.*
    Ryan: You're a pathologist, could you please explain that this parrot is no more.
    Alex: He's just pining for fjords.
    Pet shop owner: Told you.
    Ryan: Pining for the... *Screams and shoots self.
    Alex: Now, that is an ex-CSI.
    Pet shop owner: *agrees*
    Parrot: I miss the fjords.

    New take on Monty Python's parrot sketch. Very silly, and it's fun to pick on poor Ryan. LOL
     
  4. CSIAnnStokes

    CSIAnnStokes Witness

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2007
    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    0
    roflmfao :lol:
    That's hilarious! I love the Parrot sketch, it's my favourite!
    You guys are great.
    Keep it up!
     
  5. Sweet_Fantasy

    Sweet_Fantasy Hit and Run

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    *Ryan, Eric, Calleigh, and H walk into the victims house to process the crime scene. The entrance way is decorated with flowers and a beautiful chandeleir including a black piano*

    H:Oh, what a lovely piano... Eric, you and Ryan go upstairs and process that area, and Calleigh and I will stay down here and dust this piano for prints...

    Eric: ok, H

    *Ryan and Eric go upstairs and process the second floor, once they are done, they head downstairs...*

    Ryan: So Eric, Oh My god! What the...

    Eric: My Eyes!

    *They go downstairs to discover Horatio lying on top of the piano singing "I will survive" while calleigh is playing it*

    Ryan and Eric: :eek:

    Lol, I died while writing this... I can so see it...
     
  6. Leftyguitar

    Leftyguitar Police Officer

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    0
    ^:lol: :lol: :lol:

    That's a silly image.

    Ryan: *screaming* Eric get down here.
    Eric: What's wrong?
    Ryan: Did you tell H I was the one who stole his sunnies and threw them in the swamp.
    ERic: Maybe...
    Ryan: He fired me for it, you jerk! He even started shooting at me.
    Eric: I'm sorry.
    Ryan: No you're not.
    Eric: Okay, I'm not. So?
     
  7. dogbert14

    dogbert14 Rookie

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2007
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    0
    Alternate version of ending of Guerillas in the Mist:

    DARREN BUTLER: Here's a pefect chance to show what the Vaporizer can do!

    He fires at H's Hummer. It explodes.

    DARREN: I'll finish it off.

    He fires again, and the Hummer explodes again. H crawls out of the wreckage, covered head to toe in soot. His sunglasses are broken and he has windshield glass embedded in him. His right arm is broken, too.

    H(whimpering): Oh...SHIT...this was not supposed to happen...*croak*
     
  8. calleighismyhero

    calleighismyhero Prime Suspect

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2007
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    0
    lmao! that was great! more! more! :lol:
     
  9. Leftyguitar

    Leftyguitar Police Officer

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ryan: Do you know where the murder weapon is?
    Witness: I fart in your general direction!
    Ryan: WTF?!
    Witness: Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!
    Ryan: Is there someone else here that I can talk to?
    Witness: No. *blows rasberry* Go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
     
  10. calleighismyhero

    calleighismyhero Prime Suspect

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2007
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    0
    *everyone is crowded around the little christmas tree that they put up in the lab, handing out presents.
    H: Ok here are my presents for all of you, open then all at one time!
    *everyone opens them at about the same time
    C: Thanks Horatio...They are little Horatio dolls.
    E: Yea thanks H, it was sweet of you... I think
    R: Wat in the heck am i supposed to do with this?!
    * Calleigh looks at Eric and whispers Oh crap now he's done it!
    Horatio pulls out his gun and shoots ryan.
    H: wat will u do with it Ryan? Why wont u tell me?
    R: I....I....
    *ryan dies and no one else questions H about the little H's
    Next X-mas everyone gets lil sunnies for their lil H's!
     
  11. future_cop

    future_cop Lab Technician

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2007
    Messages:
    557
    Likes Received:
    0
    **The team is gathered around the break room to exchange gifts.Horatio passes out small boxes to the team.

    Horatio:"Merry Christmas Guys and ladies."

    The team opens the boxes.And they are all sunnies like his.
    Eric pulls out the shades and grins at Horatio.

    Eric:Does this mean we get to do *puts on his sunnies*one liners?"

    Horatio pouting:"No only me the red haired guy can" -pause- "because I'm *puts on his sunnies* invincible"

    Team::rolleyes: "Whatever"
     
  12. dogbert14

    dogbert14 Rookie

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2007
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    0
    Alternate version of Stand Your Ground

    Gunman: Kill the engine lady, now!

    Calleigh grabs something from her purse and waves it at him threateningly.

    Calleigh: POLICE OFFICER! Put the gun down NOW!

    Gunman: Nice courage, lady, but that's a Super Soaker. Try again next time.
     
  13. calleighismyhero

    calleighismyhero Prime Suspect

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2007
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    0
    :lol: that was a good one!!! oncore! (sp)
     
  14. Leftyguitar

    Leftyguitar Police Officer

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    0
    LOL. that should happen on the show.
    silly.

    anyhow,

    Ryan: I think I'll go play in the mud and wrestle an aligator.

    Eric: Whatever.

    Ryan: Are you listening to me?

    Eric: No.

    Ryan: :devil: ERic is a big jerk.

    Eric. Yup.

    Ryan: and he smells like the canals he likes to swim in.

    Eric: *still not listening* Absoultly.

    Ryan: And he thinks that H's sunglasses make him invinible.

    H: Well, they do. My Sunglasses of Justice have magical powers.

    Ryan: :rolleyes: You guys are no fun.

    Eric: You're right.

    Don't know where I was going with that, but it makes no sense.
     
  15. Della

    Della Police Officer

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2007
    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    0
    Horatio: *takes off sunnies - looks shocked* Oh.. My... God... You *pause* You shot me and *pause* and I'm blee-eeding.

    :D
     

Share This Page