~Quotes You WON'T Hear # 3~

Need4Speed

Need4Speed

Coroner
it's new thread time!!!! here's the link to the old thread... link to old thread

and here's the guidelines..please follow them :)

Please Read All Guidelines Carefully

1. Please keep all 'quotes' to 4 lines or less. 'Quotes' longer than that really belong in the Fan Fiction forum as opposed to this forum.

2. Please bear in mind the 'Adult Content' rule, and don't post things that are overly graphic. Submissions that we feel push the boundaries of this rule may be edited out.

3. Please keep the posts in good taste. Some of the 'quotes' in the last thread really pushed the limits and bordered on offensive.

4. This is not the Shipper Forum. Please don't post overly shipper type 'quotes' in here.


Happy posting! :)


here's a quote to kick off the new thread!

H:Sgt. Rick Stetler! you are under arrest for the murder of my sunnies!!
Stetler:Horatio. i swear i didn't do it!
H:then why did i find a sign that said 'Stetler did this' next to my broken sunnies
*Eric and Ryan are watching. it turns out the two of them had done it*
Eric:eek:h man we got Stetler arrested!
Ryan:cool!!
Both: :lol:
 
I call this set of quotes: EGOS.

*All 3 CSI teams-(Grissom's, Horatio's and Mac's) are in the break room talking, laughing, eating and just having a good time. Suddenly everyone hears YELLING coming from the back of the room in the North West corner.*
*It's Grissom and Horatio YELLING at each other*
*Mac does a pinky-finger-in-each-corner-of-the-mouth, loud, piercing whistle.*
*Everyone, including Grissom and Horatio, immediately go silent.*
MAC: What is going on between you 2??? You 2 are yelling loud enough to wake the dead.
GRISSOM: He says I couldn't find a clue if it jumped up and bit me on the nose.
HORATIO: He says I couldn't analyze a piece of evidence if I had a gun pointed to my head and my life depended on it.
MAC: You're both right.
GRISSOM and HORATIO: WHAT?!?!?!
*Grissom and Horatio start yelling at each other and Mac. Mac starts yelling back. Soon everyone is yelling at everyone else.*
*Stetler is walking by and looks to see what's going on in the break room.*
STETLER(quietly to himself):I'm not getting in the middle of that. If anyone could kill me and not leave any clues as to who did it, what they did it with, where and when they did it and how they did it with the weapon of their choice...it's a room full of angry CSIs.
 
Here are some more "Carusoed" movie/TV quotes:

Perfect Strangers:
"Well, of course not, [puts on sunglasses] don't be ridiculous"
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Airplane:
"I am serious, and [puts on sunglasses] don't call me Shirley."
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Braveheart:
"They may take our lives, but [puts on sunglasses] they'll never take our freedom!"
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Army of Darkness:
"Good. Bad. [puts on sunglasses] I'm the guy with the gun."
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The Goonies:
"First you have to do [puts on sunglasses] the Truffle Shuffle"
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Blazing Saddles:
"We don't need [puts on sunglasses] no stinking badges!"
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Billy Madison:
"Mr. Madison, what you said right there is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Nowhere in your mumbling incoherent response did you even come close to what could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, [puts on sunglasses] and may God have mercy on your soul"
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Stand and Deliver:
"I strangled him, his body's decomposing [puts on sunglasses] in my locker"
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
 
Horatio: ...you put your left foot in and... [puts on sunglasses] shake it all about.
Frank: You do the Hokey Pokey and...
Horatio: Shut up, Frank. Time for the... [takes off sunglasses] theme song.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
 
Oh I got a few good "Horatio as" quotes.
Be fore warned...I'll take a poke/jab at anyone...including myself.

As a Star Trek Vulcan.
**makes Vulcan hand gesture** Vulcan hand gesture>>> ,\\//
Horatio: Live long *put sunglasses on with just the left hand* and prosper.

As former United States of America President Richard Nixon.
Horatio: I am not *puts sunglasses on in a slightly faster than normal, I mean business way* a crook.

As Jack Nicholson in the movie A Few Good Men.
Horatio: You want the truth? *puts on sunglasses* You can't handle the truth.

As former Presidential candidate Ross Perot asking a plastic surgeon about his ears.
Horatio: Do my ears *puts on sunglasses* look too big???

As Star Trek's Dr. McCoy.
Horatio: I'm a CSI *puts on sunglasses* not a medic.

As Colonel/General Jack O'Neill in Stargate SG-1.
Horatio: Well, that went well, *puts on sunglasses* don't you think???

As Rocky.
Horatio: YO!!! *puts on sunglasses* Adrian.

Hosting Larry King Live.
Horatio: St. Louis, Missouri *puts on sunglasses* You're on.

As the announcer of The Price Is Right.
Horatio: Shawn McAvoy. Come *puts on sunglasses* on down!!!
*DISCLAIMER: OK...I, Carolyn318, totally made up the name Shawn McAvoy. Should there be any Shawn McAvoy's in this group/forum, it is pure coincidence. :p*

As host of my favorite chat room.
Since this one is how he would type what he says, I'm gonna do it in ALL CAPS except for him putting on his shades which is an action that he won't be typing-I will.
Horatio: HOST 1-HOT-HORATIO HAS *puts on sunglasses* KICKED LUCY OUT OF THE CHATROOM.

As me.
Horatio: This is *pokes left eye trying to put sunglasses on, put sunglasses on* getting ridiculous.

As Captain Kirk.
Wait a second!!! Horatio already does.............Captain Kirk with those stinking.............dramatic pauses.
**Carolyn318 ask: Should I put a few more dramatic pauses in ^^that^^???**
 
Ok. My turn.


H:You think you know*puts on sunnies*...But you have no idea!


*^^^SOOOO CHEASEY, cant think of one*
 
H:hey Ryan.
Ryan:yeah H
H:what do you call a pig crossed with a horse?
Ryan:i don't know, what?
H:i was hoping you could tell me because i have no idea either.
Ryan:o_O


it's lame i know....
 
hahaha...better than mine.

Some H quotes!

H:A dreamcatcher works*puts on sunnies* if your dream is to be gay.


H:Every fight is a food fight*puts on sunnies* when you’re a cannibal.

H:If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo*puts on sunnies*if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

H:Friendship is like peeing on yourself*puts sunnies on* everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

H:Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll*puts on sunnies* be disconnected!

H:There are no stupid questions*puts on sunnies* just stupid people.

H:You laugh because I'm different*puts on sunnies*
I laugh cause I just farted!

H:Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground*puts on sunnies* and miss

H:Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself*puts on sunnies* where the heck is the ceiling.

H:*H reads paper*Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

H:I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places*puts on sunnies* He told me to quit going to those places.
 
CSINicole said:
H:Friendship is like peeing on yourself*puts sunnies on* everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

H:Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll*puts on sunnies* be disconnected!

H:There are no stupid questions*puts on sunnies* just stupid people.

H:You laugh because I'm different*puts on sunnies*
I laugh cause I just farted!

H:Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground*puts on sunnies* and miss

H:Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself*puts on sunnies* where the heck is the ceiling.

H:*H reads paper*Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

H:I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places*puts on sunnies* He told me to quit going to those places.
Click to expand...

HAHA!!! Those are great!!!! i loved the one i quoted the most...that's why i quoted them...duh!

here's some more

H:when life gives you lemons *puts on sunnies* squeeze them in someone's eye! *takes off sunnies* but when life gives you watermellons *puts on sunnies* well....i don't really know.

H:something strange in your neighborhood *puts on sunnies* who ya gonna call?
Ryan:Ghostbusters!!
H:like hell! you call me! duh!
Ryan:H since when do you...
H:shut up Wolfe.

H:sometimes it pays to be *puts on sunnies* sexy
Eric:you can't possible mean you? :lol:
H:shut up Eric! you're ruining it!

H:there are times in your life when you must give up your sunnies *puts on sunnies* now is not one of those times.

H:Snexy *puts on sunnies* is sexy with sunnes!!
 
Alexx: Shut up dead people.
Tripp: I am so afraid of a confrontation.
Valera: You need to take life more serious.
Calleigh: I want an aunt farm for Christmas.
 
Need4Speed I love yours...there hilarious!

Ok. I got more.

*Speed walks in*
H:holy sh!!!!!!!!!t!
Eric:H!
H:What?
Eric:You potty mouth!
H:AM NOT!!
Eric:ARE TO!!
*goes on for 5 more minutes*
Speed:Doesnt anyone care Im back from the dead.
Eric and H:Shut up Speed!Not now!


Thanksgiving Horatio style!

Ryan:H, ca you put some potatoes on my plate plase?
H:yes*puts some on Ryans plate. I just served you*puts on sunnies* potatoes!
team: :rolleyes:Oh god lord!
 
Oh god could you IMAGINE thanksgiving at the Caine household?

Yelina: Horatio *puts on sunnies* do you have any turkey
The Who: Yeaaaaaah!
Horatio: Absolutely, my dear. *puts on sunnies* I never leave without it.
The Who: Yeaaaaaaaah!
Ray Jr: :rolleyes:
 
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