Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge
My last two reviews!
Thanks everyone for your comments on my long-winded and wordy reviews.
Nicksfriend, you're welcome to come to Ireland anytime! I know just the whiskey too!
Once authors are revealed, if anyone wants to pm me regarding their stories/writing please feel free to do so. Just remember I'm no expert
I just happen to have done really well in any course to do with literature :lol:
Ok, without further ado ...
Revenge
Your opening sentence hit me right in the stomach. I love the feeling of being stunned and incredulous. The description of the red (what I assumed was blood) was really vivid.
Nick coming to realize what was happening was a nice foil. That Nick knows what’s going on while the reader doesn’t is a fabulous touch and heightens the suspense.
Your use of the lyric as the basis of revenge is brilliant. I really felt the sense of ‘its payback time’ while still being mystified as to what’s going on!
Ooooh I can just *hear* Nick growling, and it was this point I thought ‘wait a second’ because how could he be talking after three ‘hits’? You answered the question in the next sentence though and the introduction/solution of the paint was subtly and flawlessly done.
Your revelation that the lab rats were the instigators was priceless! I laughed so hard at that, I could see it happen! I’d LOVE to see it happen on an episode
I’m glad you revealed Nick’s own dastardly attack on the lab rats the previous year. In one sentence you’ve painted an entire picture that could seriously come to life as another fic. Wink wink…nod nod…
This story was by turns mysterious and hilarious and I love that you were able to pull your reader to two such extremes. Your use of suspense is masterful!
Really well written!
Lost Myself
Wow, in the first sentence you’ve brought out the heartache that followed Warrick’s death. You’ve set the stage in a well described scene, giving the reader both imagery and emotion. Nick slumped on the couch, wanting to leave gives the story a sense of nervous tension, which you sustained beautifully through your transition to Brass’ flashback.
The flashback itself was a masterful piece, showing the scene from Brass’ point of view. Your description of the scene brought me right back to the first time I saw the episode and the BANG made me jump!
I really love how your story brings Brass and Nick’s friendship to the fore. It’s something we rarely see in an episode, and I’m so glad he was the one you chose to have talk to Nick. It feels so natural in your story.
The Dogs of Eads…fantastic name for a pub! Hell I’d go there everyday if there was one in my town!
The conversation between Nick and Jim was a perfect mix of dialogue and description. It flowed easily and naturally into the true topic that brought both men to that place and time. The flashback to what happened between Nick and McKeen was perfectly placed and I loved your interpretation of the ‘missing scene’.
Nick’s question of Brass, is he really capable of murdering someone, is an honest insight into Nick’s character. Still believing in good; that killing a murderer was also murder. I felt sad that Nick feels he still has to prove himself.
I love that Brass immediately understands, and justifies Nick’s mercy in leaving McKeen alive. His admission that he would have had to arrest Nick gave me chills and again, is very believable of the character. He’s not a man who would cross that line and you’ve pointed that out perfectly.
Your introduction of Nick as a ‘karma police’ was poignant and beautiful, with Nick reminiscing about a conversation with Warrick. Very nice use of the song in your story. And I love that Brass recognises it’s a song
Not something you would imagine Brass knowing but it gives the character a hidden depth which highlights your skill as a writer.
The final thought of the conversation regarding McKeen's ultimate fate put a smile on my face. He really IS going to get what he deserves, in prison where he belongs.
It never occurred to me that Nick would have wanted to speak at Warrick’s funeral, but you’ve captured his grief and respect for Warrick in the next scene. What he would have said was so very Nick and so bittersweet it brought a tear to my eye.
Very glad Brass is responsible and won't drive home! Nice way to segue into your final scene; a believable transition. The one-arm hug too made me smile. Men!
Your introduction of Mandy gave you away I’m afraid
But it’s nice Nick has someone there to comfort him, and she seems to know exactly what to say and do to help lighten Nick’s heart. Even her teasing didn’t seem inappropriate as he easily accepted her laughter.
Your story was a perfectly balanced mix of dialogue and imagery, and you place your reader right in the scene, almost as if we’re at the next booth. The transitions were seamless and the ending, of hope even in grief, was uplifting.
Nicely done!
