Nick Song Fic Ch #8 - "Angel"- Now up!

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Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

Yay stories up!! I'm so excited. I haven't been sitting aroudn all day waiting for this or anything :D

Going to do my posting and reviewing in stages I think.

Eye of the Beholder- Major kudos for beign able to even conceptulize the injury to Ms. Isop. The squick factor on that would have put me over the edge. I like that it reads like an episode of CSI, with the hyptothesis and then reexamining the evidence. You even got Hodges snarky tone worked in. And I love that your summary is an Oscar Wilde quote. :)

The Texan Devil- Love that your Nick totally realizes and acknowledges that his anger is getting out of hand and that he's letting things really get to him. I like that Hodges is who pissed him off, but that the lab rat got a chance to have his voice heard too. But i feel like the explanation of why he was pissed at Hodges was a little repetitive.

Invisible Man- "it was only the twisted mind of a vigilante killer that found murder in the music" - that line gives me chills. I really like that the song applys to the suspect and not Nick. 2000 words and I feel like I've only just gotten a glimpse at the story. I'd read the next chapter!
 
Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

4. Please make your feedback as positive and constructive as possible. Constructive means that it's meant to be helpful and it's said in a nice way. There will be zero tolerance for meanness here from anyone.
Click to expand...

^ This is really important. Please follow this guideline.



Thanks.

Happy reading and reviewing. :D

: Puts out plate of cookies : :)

I'll read the stories in a bit and post my thoughts on them when I'm done.

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I have to say that the site looks fabulous. I love the blue color and the white font on it is just awesome. :)

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Eye of the Beholder- I haven't finished reading it yet, but I just wanted to say that the opening line of the story immediately grabbed my attention and pulled me in, so kudos on that. :)

ETA: Okay, I've finished reading this one now. I could definitely see this happening on the show. And I loved the interaction between Nick and Warrick. Great job! :) Clever title as well. :)

Okay, I'm off to read the second story now (I had to stop for a while in the middle of the first one cause I had to help a family member with something).

The Texan Devil - I agree with bookgirl on the fact that it was great how Nick realized his anger was so extreme for the situation with Hodges. But, I like too that he was so angry about the victim in the case. Nick is a compassionate person, especially when it comes to children. And I loved his thoughts and concern for the victim and the victim's family. And even though I've never seen the song's video, I loved how you described it in the story. :) Great title too!

The Invisible Man - Love the title. :D And when I read the opening sequence I nearly squealed out (like I do when watching the show) "Archie!" hehe. Love that you included him in the story. :) I like how you described the crime scene, it really helps to paint the picture for the readers. Love how you incorported the song into the case in the story. Nick's scene with Greg reminded me of the earlier seasons of CSI. :) I agree with bookgirl; I'd read the next chapter as well. :)

A Southern Boy's Mama - Great job interpreting the song. The story was great. I chuckled as the suspect was relaying to Nick everything that had happened to him. Nick's thoughts and reactions were great. :)

For A Minute There I Lost Myself - Love how you incorported a line of the song as the title and into the story as well. I loved Nick's thoughts at the end of the story as well as his thoughts about Mr. Hudson.

Nick's Karma- I love the idea in the story of the CSI exchange program. Very creative. And the way the song was included in the fic was great too. :)

I'm going to have to read the other stories later. I'm hurting real bad right now and need to go lie down for a while.
 
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Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

Okay, I just want to savor each story. I just got back from a long trip and here they are,ready for us to read. SQUEAL!!!

Lost Myself...Dogs of Eads (love it!). I see this scenario actually playing out,Brass has always been a father figure to Nick so this is very believable.Nick finally breaking down and calling Mandy, sweet! I also like the part where Brass and Nick talk about the shot,was it intentional or was it an accident? I feel as though this writer got it right and you couldn't help but to feel Nick's pain. Excellent read!

Revenge...Okay, I thought for a minute there that I was going to have to find the author and flog them but then I laughed and felt better. That was really great! I love the friendship between Greg and Nick and do wish that tptb would realized how these two really play off each other,they have a real life friendship,why not allow us to see it on screen! Great story! I always love to laugh...and I did!

December 24th...You really brought Nick's emotions forward and allowed us to see what we should have seen at least in the finale. Nick missing his friend,telling Warrick what he did,the miss.Very nice piece of writing,I really mean it! Excellent.

More tomorrow, I have to go to bed. Good Night.

Okay Egeria,if I hadn't siad it yet,"This site rocks!" you did such a great job and I love it!

Okay Smokey,this was a great idea! I love it and I love reading Nick fic! Great job!

I Lost Myself...This story made me think,what would it had been like in the end,before Warrick stopped Nick from pulling the trigger. I feel you got it right,being close to death,your life does do that flashback thingy and here you got it very right,excellent,he would remember all the things in his life,and I would even imagine he would question "Why now?" after all that I have been through.Definitely suffocation is the worse form of death,knowing that you are dying would be terrifying,poor Nick. You did a great job and anybody who makes me think gets a big "Kudos!" Great job!

Nick's Karma...I agree with GNRF, I like the CSI exchange program...cool idea! I wish they would have these type of ideas in the regular show but what am I thinking? Nick gets a dog...Bart!( love it) I love how Nick really doesn't believe in Karma (as in Gumdrops) but that life just happens...what you get is what you get...."Just get through today" Khanti got to get a good look into the life of someone who lives everyday as is,no expectations,no "what ifs" ,but a person who just does his job...."Let the chips fall where they may." I liked it! Will they get out of the well or was this a tease?

For a Minute there I lost Myself...If I had to choose best line in a story I would choose this one"***, you know it’s a bad day when you’re considering alternative employment that would require you to wear tights." (Priceless!)I like Nick taking the walk,even though he probably looked a little scary to people around him,he had to work it out.Excellent!

A Southern Boy's Mama...Entertaining.As a mother of five and I am a Southern mama I was absolutely entertained by this great piece of writing. Yeah,we southern women can handle ourselves and our southern men know better than to cross our path! Loved it.

The Invisible Man...Excellent, I really admire any writer who has the ability to engross me in what they write...You did just that. I want more. I want to know if Nick will catch the killer, Heck I want to know who the killer is and I must have more...that is what a good writer does...leaves them wanting more!Good read!

The Texan Devil...Nick is passionate and that is what the writer portrayed so well. He cares about the victims even if it effects him in the process. Nick is and always will be the heart of what CSI is about and this story really makes me smile,well done! I loved it!
 
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Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

First of all:
Egeria, the website looks awesome! Wonderful job.

Eye of the Beholder
Great case story. Well written. Very tight. Nick was right in character. This would be one of the show for sure. I enjoyed the interaction with Nick and Warrick, makes me miss the guy even more.

The Texan Devil
You certainly delved into the depth of Nick's hostility towards Hodges. I wasn't very clear as the flashpoint of the rage, but it wouldn't take much from the Lab Rat as he's been a thorn in Nick's side for years. I loved how he used the Karma Police video to analyze his relationship with Hodges. It is a very symbolic video. Great read. Fun one too.

For a Moment I Lost Myself
Liked Nick's little thought process about becoming a superhero.

Invisible Man
Wow. I thought I was reading a mystery novel there. Good work there. Very intriguing story. I'd like to read more. I laughed when Nick asked, "What's a radio head?" Although I'm sure he knows who they are.

Revenge
Very funny story. I was quite fooled by the red pools. Quite clever.

A Southern Boy's Mamma
I liked this story. The jerk sounded very familiar. A realistic take on how abusive some men can really be. I felt as if I was right there listening to the story. Nick's defense of his mom was well done. The breaking of the pencil. Great story.
 
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Oh my gosh - I'm in fanfic heaven! What a great way to spend a Sunday evening!

Egeria - the web site looks great! Thanks so much for putting this together!

Thanks to Smokey too for coordinating this! (And also, for accepting someone's submission late. I don't know who that particular author was, but really, she should be excommunicated.) It was fun.

I thought all the fics were great and thoroughly enjoyed all of them. Here's more specifics:

The Eye of the Beholder: Fabulous with a very clever title. I envy you as I cannot write forensics, no matter how hard I try. I love that Warrick is alive and well and that you worked in a little snark from Hodges. This is something I'd love to see on screen. For all the blood and drama at the beginning of the story I was thinking that something was really up with Kayla's mom and for that reason it felt like the drama was gratuitous, but it was very well written and I enjoyed it very much. Spelling and grammar is great and it reads smoothly. I have no idea who wrote this one.

The Texan Devil: Wow, this one was very emotional. I think it's good that Nick's realizing that he needs to work through the things that have happened to him and not just push past them. That's a typical male response, I think. With that in mind though, I wish he would have used the opportunity to contact a counselor, or even someone else on the team - Catherine's always had a level head and has always been a good friend to Nick - but then, maybe that's where he's going. We can hope! I like that Hodges' POV was justified in the beginning, but Nick's repetition of why he was in the wrong took away from it a bit. A handful of spelling/grammar oopses but nothing glaring (but then I like to play Grammar Police). I have a good guess on this one.

The Invisible Man: Right - you know what the weakness is in your story and that is that it quite clearly is not finished. You are a clever girl and I'm guessing (hoping?) that we'll see Chapter Two with the next challenge :D Beautifully done - I loved the detail you were able to get to with this format, particularly Nick's thoughtful routine. The mirror gave me a chill. The descriptions of the crime scene and victim were so vivid, I could see them in my mind's eye. Spelling and grammar appear effortless to you and the words flow like a river of chocolate. Fantabulous! PS - I know who you are.

A Southern Boy's Mama: I like that this is a more light-hearted piece and that Nick's not the one who's suffering, though it's typical of Nick to take that on and want to help. Loved the kids hitting dear old dad with the bat! The story appears to suffer from the word count restriction as in places there's a little too much dialogue and not enough story to support it and balance it out. Flow suffers a little because of this. It was cute otherwise! Spelling and grammar are good; I have a pretty good guess on this one.

For a Minute There I Lost Myself: As active a person as I imagine Nick stokes to be, seeing him wander is usually saddening :( A case like this would really get under his skin, too. I think he really pulled himself back from the brink twice in this story - the first time when he almost punched Hudson and the second time as he wandered the strip. Loved Brass and I wouldn't mind seeing Nick in tights ;) Spelling, grammar, and flow are all good, although I do have one thing to point out.

“Right now I could care less about the science,” he bit out,

That dialogue tag makes me think of Nick baring his teeth and chomping the air between himself and Brass, which is disruptive to the read. I don't have a guess on the author of this one.


Nick's Karma: This puts a different spin on Nick's luck. Yeah, he got stabbed and tossed into a well, but he's still alive and he's being rescued (...again...). It seems to echo that adage that "Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, it's not the end." I loved how you placed the song in the story and made Nick laugh in the face of all his troubles. Grammar and spelling are fine, but your story wants a beta for punctuation. I really enjoyed it and would love to read more of it! I don't have a guess on this one either.

I Lost Myself: The first line really grabs, for more than one reason - firstly for drama, but then because we know what we're dealing with: Nicky in a Box. As dark as this fic is, it's balanced by the humor that Nick seeing Doc Robbins hand Cisco his heart provides, as well as the brightness with which Nick realizes he can just pop a cap in his own *ss and have it be done with (which now that I think about it, is kind of dark itself...). I feel like it could be rounded out by some description and other prose, but I liked it. Spelling and grammar are good; the flow isn't bad but prose would help with that. I know who wrote this one.

December 24th: Oh, God . . . knife in the gut. Nick's grief over Warrick is always hard to take, even in so beautiful a form. This was done well - not overly dramatic, but we feel Nick's pain and want to hug him. It gets the point across without bashing the reader over the head. The sun at the end was very nice, and I loved how you worked the words of the song into Nick's dialogue. Spelling, grammar, and flow are all good - I just wish it were a little longer! I have a guess on this one, but it's not a good one.

Revenge: I refuse to review the work of teases. :D

Just kidding!

Revenge: This was really quite lovely and well-done. The action was constructed in such a way as to not let on what was really happening and that was brilliant. You had me hook, line, and sinker, to the point that I was frantically wondering what the hell Nick, our Nick, could possibly have done to anyone that would make them exact such a revenge, and why Noble Nick would ever have regretted it. Bravo - I really liked it!

Lost Myself: Poor Nicky :( I'm glad Brass was there for him to talk some things out. Love Brass. I like the perspective we got on the final few scenes of For Warrick; it showed a bit more of what we wanted to see. The only thing I wasn't sure about in this one was the fact that I don't think guys EVER go sob in bathrooms. I think Nick would've turned his attention to the basketball game and changed the subject. But even with that it was heart-wrenching - as I said before, Nicks' grief over the loss of Warrick is always tough. Aside from a few hiccups, spelling and grammar are good. I know who wrote this one too :) Great job!
 
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Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

Just wanted to say that everyone's stories were wonderful and it was a real pleasure to create a page for each one.

Thanks to everyone who complimented me for the website, it was a true joy to create it for you all!

I'll be posting reviews later today but I enjoyed reading each and every one!

Smokey, congratulations on an awesome idea turning out so well. You rock! :thumbsup:
 
Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

Egeria, the site looks great. I really like that you used the scenes in 'Snakes' where Nick is listening to the song, trying to interpret it. They fit perfectly.

I agree with GNRF, I like the blue with the white text, very easy on the eyes.

I've read the first story and still have to read the others, so I'll be back with reviews.

I agree with Egeria, Smokey, this was a great idea and lots of fun.
 
Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

I'm glad you guys are enjoying the stories...and the site! I love how Nick is listening to music AND writing...just like we did! :)

Guess I forgot to say upfront...spoilers ahead for the stories if you read the reviews first. :lol:

Despite collecting all of the submissions, I've only read a few so far, so here are my reviews of those:

Eye of the Beholder - Nice case story...good dialogue between the characters, especially Nick and Warrick...probably could have been expanded and less "abrupt" without the limitations on the length.

The Texan Devil - Good characterization of Nick...you know him well! :) Nice description of his anger...you can really feel it yourself. Now it makes me wonder just where he's going and what he's going to do at the end!

Revenge - Excellent short story! The concept really, really worked. You play well. I would hate to play poker with you. :lol:

More later. Have to go to work. Darn real life anyway!!
 
Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

Egeria fantastic job on the site.

Though all of the stories were wonderfully done, there were two stories that stood out for me, "Southern Boys Mama" and "For a Minute I Lost Myself."

"Southern Boys Mama" loved the almost dark humor of it. I liked the payback is hell resolution. Good work.

"For a Minute I Lost Myself" I could picture this actually taking place, very believable. Good job.

Thanks for all the well written stories people.

Take Care,

Kell
 
Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

I Lost Myself- Great job on writing Nick's thoughts. Loved that the last line of the story was a line from the song.

December 24th - This was such a heartfelt story. I had tears in my eyes reading it and could just imagine Nick's emotions. Great job!

Revenge - Hehe, this was a cute fic. The pools of red scared me at first, but then I realized what was going on. Great story. :D

Lost Myself - I loved the talk between Brass and Nick. And Nick's thoughts about what he would have said if he had be allowed to speak at Warrick's funeral. I also love that you included Mandy in the story. :D
 
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Wow ladies you all did such a great job with your stories :)
Egeria that website is great, thank you so much for creating it for us :thumbsup:

Can’t wait to read them all
I’ll take my time to review them though… I always need to think about the story some time before I can review it. Like you can imagine I’m not the right person to discuss any grammar or spelling problems, so I’ll fully concentrate on the content and how the stories are thought through. I’ll maybe also point out how this story is written from the side of someone who isn’t normally reading English stories (only the ones including Nick Stokes). So it can be that you’re all a little bit confused about the reviews you got from me…
But let’s start now…

Eye of the Beholder
Wow I never thought someone would be able to put a whole forensic case in 2000 words… that was great. You wrote Nick well in this one, like the Nick we get to see in the show. This should be an episode, really. Like I mentioned it’s great that you managed it to get the whole case into the story but I also need to say that the word limit got in your way here… this would have been a great more chapter story. Another thing I want to say is that I was confused at times with the usage of the spoken parts of the story, especially that I needed to read twice or more to get who said what… but that’s maybe just because I’m no English native… I guess it would have been easier for me if the spoken parts, when spoken between different people would get a single paragraph (hopefully you know what I mean now… damn lack of English words…) All in all I really liked the story and would like you to write it in a bigger style (a more chapter story), so you can use your skills of the forensic science fully.

The Invisible Man
Ohhhh I bet I know who wrote this story. This style is unique. This was a great read… and if I wouldn’t know it was a short shot… I would wait for the next chapter. This chapter functions perfectly as a single story but you can also write a continuation for it. The details you wrote in made the thing so real… like you would be right there processing the body with Nick. The details of certain smells or feelings made it so real for me and I’m really sad this journey came to an end… maybe if you are who I think you are you’ll post it someday as a more chapter story… I would be glad to read and review it again. Great work, really.

A Southern Boy’s Mama
Well that was something I really didn’t expect. It was funny to read and to interpret the song in that way was just wow surprise, surprise It was easy to read and fitted well into the maximum of words you were able to write. That’s a big plus because some of our writers struggled with that. This story didn’t even need a complex storyline or something, it just lived with the humor you wrote in it. That the story was full of dialog wasn’t bothering me at all… I mean that’s just how we would get things to see during an interrogation on the show. This story is a good example for why we created a challenge… everybody has a different interpretation of the song and it looks like yours is a special one. Well done

For A Minute There I Lost Myself
Yeah Nick really lost himself for a minute in this one… I myself would have thought he would be ready for the Funny Farm if I would have been a tourist… A case like that would for sure get to him but his reaction on the streets was a bit surprising for me to be honest… My guess would have been he would punch Hudson in the face somehow but the way you handled his thoughts and feelings was very entertaining. A fine one-shot.


... And now heading to read the next one :)
 
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Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

Smokey

Are we submitting songs for the next challenge yet and when is the next deadline?

Love reading the stories...Great idea and great site!!!!!!
 
Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

Here's another review :)

Nick’s Karma
Dear writer, I know who you are :) Just needed to read the first few sentences to make sure I’m right. But now after I finished reading it, I know it’s yours. You have that certain style of writing, I would find your story out of 1000 :D That was really a different way to show Nick’s luck… He always gets into trouble somehow but there are always his friends who make sure that he’ll get on his feet again. And there is Nick himself, so much stronger then all the people think he is… you brought that all into your story. Well done, even I need to say that this is again a story where could have been written a few more chapters about.
 
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Re: Nick Fic Song Fic Challenge

Gonna try to get a few more reviews in here, if not all of them! :)

Just a reminder, if you are a participant, then please leave a review for each story so that everyone gets feedback from each other on their work. Thanks! :)

The Invisible Man - I love how you worked the song in as an email, and Nick didn't know what to do with it any more than we did! :lol: The description of Nick as he looked around Grissom's office was great! Trying to figure out what was different...loved that! I think it's a great beginning to a good mystery.

A Southern Boy's Mama - Pearl and Jack? Did you do that on purpose? :D "Sit there and let 'em suck"! :lol: Brilliant! You had me intrigued throughout, wondering just what it was that Nick was trying to do regarding Catherine. I like that she was in the story...she's not written about enough, in my opinion. You did her, and Nick, justice here and wrote them well!

For a Minute There I Lost Myself - You've written both the dialogue and Nick's thoughts well. I like how the ideas in Nick's head at the end seemed to be getting bigger and bigger and then suddenly he was drawn back to reality. It fit the song lyrics well. :)

Nick's Karma - Oooo...this one's exciting! :D I love the description of Nick's reaction to finding out he's working with Khanti. :lol: I love also the idea of his "aura" giving off a bad vibe...wish I had thought of that. It's a great angle. Very nicely done!

I Lost Myself - I really like that this seems like a stream of consciousness piece of writing. Those are so fun to do, and this one came out nicely! The writing and thoughts seem as frantic as the moments actually were in the episode, which makes it a good parallel piece as well. Good job!

December 24th - This part right here...this is awesome!

"I’ve given all I can…It’s not enough…I’ve given all I can. You’re gone…but we’re still on the payroll...Catherine, Greg, me…we’re still here fighting, and for what? So the Karma police can bite us in the ass next? Kill one of us, just like you, or eat us up like Grissom and Sara?” Nick shook his head in disgust; this job came at a heavy and painful cost."

And then "The sun burst through the clouds as Nick reached his truck. A slight smile graced his features, the first one in months. He looked up to the sky and winked to his friend."

Well, you made me cry. Are you happy now?! :) Very lovely, touching, heartfelt piece of work!

Lost Myself - I love stories that expand on an episode! This is very realistic and like something that should happen on the show. Brass and Nick have a great rapport here.

And..."His heart wept silently as he answered, “It was Grissom’s job. I would have liked to have said something...” Tears formed in his eyes. “But everyone thought Grissom should be the one to do it because he’s the boss and such."

Fine. You made me cry too. Now stop it! :lol:
 
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