Let's Talk Gay

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Alien_from_mars said:
SaraSidle_girl said:
Yeah I am out to my family, friends and the rest of the world. And its like this; they either deal with it or they get lost. Cause me being gay is a part of who I am. Not accepting that means not accepting me. And if someone doesn't accept me for who I am.. well.. there's the door. Don't let it hit ya on the way out.
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:lol: That's the attitude I need to take, but I am so sensitive and I guess I want to be accpeted, so I this is why I have not told my mum. Another reason is because she hasnt asked. But there is definitely pressure on me to reproduce as both my sisters are gay and definitely not having children. :lol:
One day I know I will just say to myself that I should be living for me, and stop living like my mum wants me to. But I am not confident enough to do that just yet. Although I know I need to.
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I needed to find that confidence too. And it takes time to find it and actually do it. But if I could do it, so could you. I lived for my mom way to long. I am now living for myself though she doesn't really seem to get it yet. If you ever feel like talking, feel free to email me or add me to msn. Just to tell your story or anything. I'll be there.

*Hugs*
 
I never actually cared much about what my mother would think, although I guess I knew she woulnd't care one way or the other. Still, I never felt I had to live up to any expectations she might have so it wasn't hard for me to let her know I'm gay.

I was more worried about my friends actually, my best friend being catholic I was a little concerned even though I knew she's a very tolerant person. I also had a very prude friend who had a bit of a hard time understanding my choice but in the end even the friends who would make gay jokes were ok with my sexuality. I always felt accepted.

I guess that has also a lot to do with how you carry yourself though. A friend of mine told me about another gay girl she knows who she doesn't really take serious in what she says because of the way the girl isn't really sure about her orientation yet. She's more like "guys are stupid and they always hurt girls, so I turn gay". I on the other hand have always been gay because I felt I was. People pick up on that.
 
I've always kind of been worried about what my parents will think. Not so much distant relatives, like my grandma, but my parents. Mainly because my dad I just love, he's done so much for me, and my mom because we've finally been able to piece our relationship back together, and my auntie beacuse when everything went wrong, she was there. I will eventually have to tell them obviously, but it still kind of scares me to know that.
 
Well, I would like to just be out. But first off, I have to figure out everything. Like, I have no clue what I am. If I'm gay or bi. Everyone has their little suspicions and my sister knows for sure. Oh, and my therapist. :lol:
 
I'm out to everyone. Once I realized I was gay I felt the need to tell my mother and my closest friends because I felt so trapped in the heterosexual lifestyle. I'd had a boyfriend for a couple of years, so naturally everyone was under the impression that I was straight. So when I finally figured it all out, I just couldn't bear all that "straight talk" (questions about boyfriends etc) anymore.

Everyone was fine with it, although I wouldn't have cared either way; I was already in college and living on my own.
 
Hey everyone, Thought I'd raise a new question. Since we've discussed coming out to family/friend I'd now like to know how and when did you find out for yourself that you're gay/bi?

I know that quite a few around here seem to still be figuring themselves out but what made you question your sexuality in the first place?
And (incase you've come to a decision) when did you know for sure?

I myself had crushes on my gymnastics and swimming instructers since I was 8 or 9, only I didn't recognize them as crushes back then :p

My first conscious crush was around the age of 13/14 and it was Jodie Foster :D I remember sitting in front of the computer, looking for pictures of her (to add to my huge collection ;)) when out of nowhere I asked myself
"Why am I doing this now? Why am I so obsessed with her?"
And then it clicked: "I'm in love with her"
So that basically meant I had to be gay, right? Cause she was a woman... right. That was it. From that moment on I was queer.
I'd never really liked guys that way in the first place so the question of being bi never came up, then again, I was never aware that bisexuality existed (until I was like 15 I had never heard of it) so it was either one or the other.

However, it took me a good year or so afterwars, to explore what being gay meant actually, in the form of internet research on gay pages, message boards and chats (hey, I was 14 ok? :p)

Anyways, Jodie made me see the light, even though back then, lesbianism was just a word to me, it only meant I had crushes on girls instead of boys... Now I know better ;)
 
Hmm, well, I had always liked guys, and I was actually kinda homophobic (despite my parents wishes to be open minded) Then one day I was just sitting with a friend, and I realized I had these feelings for her, the feelings I had towards guys before, but it was different, it was a girl.

So basically, I freaked out. It was a big deal to me to be gay, so I denyed it, for a very, very long time. I kept saying things like "it was just a weird feeling" "it was because you were tired" and stuff like that, basically I would say anything to myself to make me not think that. Then one day a friend came out to me, and I knew it was a huge step for her(this would be at the point in my life where I kinda stopped being homophobic). And realized that I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. I had to stop denying everything, and finally accepted what I was feeling.

I told the girl who had just come out and she helped me with what I was feeling, helped me come out as bi because that's all I was willing to accept. I didn't know at the time if I actually still had feelings for guys or not, but I didn't want to come out as gay at the time, who knows why, but I didn't.

I also told the girl I had feelings for how I felt. I told her that I was bi, and she actually helped me figure out I didn't like guys at all. Because she was the first one to ask me, and I realized that I didn't, that I was just plainly attracted to girls.

And then here I am today, talking about how I like girls, and how I think girls are hot, and girls girls girls :lol: And obviously not homophobic (Or am I...) just kidding :lol:
 
Well, the first person I ever kissed was a girl, but I was way too young to decide at that age. :lol:
But I did like a girl at school, I don't really think I realised it was a crush until I left Highschool.
The first person I fell in love with was a teaching assistant I worked with.
I have always liked guys but I guess always had a thing for women, but never really knew about it until it hit me one day when I saw this women for the first time.
Although saying that, I am still not sure I like women in a sexual way.
I wont go into why, but.. still not sure about my sexuality. :)
 
i've never had feelings for guys...ever. i did have a boyfriend once though, in the 5th grade. he was sweet...and even gayer than me, we still joke about the irony of that. i've never kissed a guy in anything other than a platonic way and i've never wanted to. i first realized i had feelings for girls when i was in the 6th grade or so, around the time ellen came out. and i watched ellen and finally i had a name for what i felt and that kind of scared me because my entire family was going on and on about how ellen degeneres was going to hell, blah blah blah and how i better never watch her show again. whatever. so i shoved the feelings back inside and ignored them and after many "experiments" with my childhood friends (like spin the bottle at an all girls sleepover...no wonder we all turned out gay) i finally made a move on my feeling for one of my best friends and i haven't looked back since. i never had the feeling of "i don't know what i am" but rather "i don't know how to express who i am" i've pretty much figured that one out by now though. ;)
 
Ooh, good question! Well, when I was little I always thought girls were prettier. Like coaches, teachers, etc. But in the last year or two, I started to be more and more attracted to girls. But I had feelings for guys way more. Like I continued to date my boyfriend of 2 years. But I ended it. and than I started learning about gay people more and more and I just realized "wow, I'm bi". As of now, I'm just shying off dating.
 
Ooh good question Mia :p Well let's hope this doesn't get long-winded :lol:

The question "Are you gay?" has always been something that sort of floated around in my head for a while but I always brushed it aside. I think for a while I thought I was one of the last people to be gay because no one in my family except an uncle of mine is (or at least out about it). My sister used to tease me and was sort of jealous because she claimed-- I quote :p-- "All the guys in your classes were totally in love with you." And they could've been, but I wasn't really into any of them.

I had a boyfriend in sixth grade who was about a year older than me, but we broke up almost immediately because he liked one of my friends. He was an idiot though, so it worked out :lol: I didn't really have feelings for him, though. It was like I was trying to convince myself that if he liked me, and we were good friends then obviously I had feelings for him.

All my life I've had those infamous 'girl crushes' but I never took them seriously. It's like my mom told me, "Well, women think other women look pretty all the time." So I just shrugged it off to that, but I know now :p

My mom and dad still don't think I'm old enough to know, but the truth is it is my life and my decision. Only I will know, and it doesn't matter if I'm a teen or 40 years old when I say it. I think part of the problem for my parents is that I'm the baby of the family, and they don't want to see their baby grow up. My mom has told me that's part of the issue. And they have no problem with homosexuality, but I think it's just come out of (no pun intended :rolleyes:) left field for them.

I just bought a lesbian magazine today. I swear it was only for the Jorja article :rolleyes: :lol: :p
 
Ooh good question! Okay.. here it goes...

I was 13 when I realised I was in love with another woman. I know, its young but I've always been kinda fast with things. Anyway... I was head over heals with her. She was way older than me, I used to babysit her kids. She lived down the street. One day, when I was 14, we ended up making out. I know it was wrong at that time and at this point I am glad it remained with kissing.. She moved away not much later.

Somehow falling for a woman felt natural to me. I have never really been in love with a man/boy. When I was 15/16 I wanted to be sure that men didn't mean anything to me. I had sex with two different boys but I just knew it wasn't right for me. And from that point on, I knew for sure I was gay. I came out to my parents at age 16 but they didn't take it seriously. I just left it at that. At age 18 they did take it seriously. :D

And now that I have dated several women and keep falling for women I know I am definitly gay. And maybe I was young when I realised, I still tried the heterosexual way. It just didn't work.
 
I'd now like to know how and when did you find out for yourself that you're gay/bi?
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My first girl crush was in second grade, I had a crush on my gymnastics teacher. What can I say, tall, dark and beautiful? ;) Anyways, the first time I really fell in love with a girl was when I was 13/14, she was 18. I didn't fully realize that it was a crush back then, I only knew that I craved looking at her whenever she wasn't around. But I did continue to tell myself i had feelings for guys, and I never considered being with a woman. I remember thinking to myself wether I was actually in love with that girl, but for some reason I never really had the desire to kiss her, so I came to the conclusion that what I felt for her was pure adoration (she was older, and my riding instructor :p ).

Then I got involved with a boy, and I was fine, kinda...Only I never felt like he was enough, I never felt completely at ease with myself. Somehow I knew that something was missing. Only I thought it was other boys, more experiences etc.

Turned out it wasn't other men, but women :p

When I was 19 I first started fantasizing about women in a sexual way (I had already dreamed of kissing Sharon Stome and Gillian Anderson when I was, like, 15 or something ;) ). That was when I first considered myself slightly bi. Only my need for a woman increased as I got older, and one day I stumbled upon a slash fanfic (Scully/Reyes- "Six Keys" by Politic X, in case any of you might be interested; it is an amzing story :) ) and halfway through I knew I was gay. I fell in love with Annabeth Gish, and from then on there was no looking back. I had already broken up with my bf, and it took me about half a year to fully figure myself out and get accustomed to those newfound feelings.

Looking back I realized that I only ever fell in love with women, not once did I develop the same feelings for a man. I can find them attractive, but I wouldn't for the life of me want anything beyond friendship from a man. I get addicted to women, addicted to their beauty, their bodies, their mind. For all of my life I have only ever found solace in women, even though most of them were on my tv only ;)

Now I have a girlfriend and I know for sure that women were what I was missing. With her I feel complete. :)
 
Good question, okay lets see...

I first started thinking about the possiblity of me being gay when I was in my junior year of high school. There was this beautiful girl in choir and I had the biggest crush on her. I tried to tell myself it was just for her voice. (yeah right) Anyways then I went to RENT in the theatre and that triggered something in me I guess. I watched how much fun they were having (yes I know a movie) and I wanted that. I was one of the few people rooting for Maureen and Joanne. When they made out I remember thinking "that's really hot!" That is when I seriously started thinking about my being gay.

I had always read fanfiction but I started to read "femslash" and fell in love with it. For some odd reason I can read male/male fanfic, female/female fanfic and love them both. (although I like the women better) but when I read a het fic I just don't like it. Weird I know.

Right now I wish I had the confidense to come out as gay. For some reason I don't want to come out as bi. I'm always scared that by some remote possiblity I could end up with a guy someday and then the ignorant people who don't realize the struggle that a lot of people have with their sexuality will be like, "OMG I thought you we're gay!" Stupid reason.

It's bugging me right now that I'm not out to everyone. I overthink things waaaay too much so this is all thats on my mind. I definitely have feelings for women though, I just wish I had thte confidence to tell everyone. A lot of my friends now and they are fine with it but I'm sick of hiding.

Once again in my trademark wordy style....

Hugs to all who are confused/haven't came out yet and Hugs to those who have...I want your confidence.
 
^ CSIdoglover, don't worry, it takes time :) It doesn't mean you're not confident enough, coming out is a big decision. I haven't come out to my entire family, but my parents and my siblings all know I think I'm gay. My grandparents, cousins and other family members is another story, however.

My dad's family has issues (HUGE issues) and they're very discriminatory and I don't think they even realize it. My mom's family is a lot more open and accepting and I know they love me unconditionally no matter what, but I just haven't had the guts to come out to all of them yet. I think I'm going to wait until I get into a relationship with someone because then they have to believe me when I say I'm gay :rolleyes:

So don't worry, you're not alone :) *hugs*
 
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