Let's Talk Gay

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Jorja_Rain said:
First of, I have never bullied anyone, and neither have my friends. It's flat out wrong to say all kids do one specific thing. Children mirror what they see, and most often children who bully have parents who talk bad about other people etc.
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First off, I was generally meaning all children bully. But saying that, I would still say, from experience that majority of chidlren bully. It may not be to one specfic person, there is a wide range of bullying, such as just pushing someone out the way, or calling someone a name. Im pretty sure most, and even all children, at one stage in their life have called someone a name. Or laughed at someone when falling over, or called someone for how they look.
Doesn't make you a bad person at all, but when you are young, it happens. Im not talking about teenagers here, im talking about primary school age.
I see it all the time in nursery and schools I have worked in. Every single child is selfish at that age. ;)
Of course you also get it from parents, but children with good parents also copy other children in school, they could be influenced by children, not only their parents. :)


Anyway, I feel really pressured in my household, both my sisters are gay and they came out last year, and im also gay, but I have been gay alot longer than them, but they have been able to tell her straght away. I feel like i'd be letting my mother down if I told her. She was so upset when my younger sister came out.
My mum wants to have lots of grandchildren, and I feel really bad if I do not have them. I'm always trying to please my mum, I know I shouldnt but thats how I feel.
So I will probably not tell my parrents for a very long time, unless I start having a serious relationship with a women.
 
Alien_from_mars said:
First off, I was generally meaning all children bully. But saying that, I would still say, from experience that majority of chidlren bully. It may not be to one specfic person, there is a wide range of bullying, such as just pushing someone out the way, or calling someone a name. Im pretty sure most, and even all children, at one stage in their life have called someone a name. Or laughed at someone when falling over, or called someone for how they look.
Doesn't make you a bad person at all, but when you are young, it happens. Im not talking about teenagers here, im talking about primary school age.
I see it all the time in nursery and schools I have worked in. Every single child is selfish at that age. ;)
Of course you also get it from parents, but children with good parents also copy other children in school, they could be influenced by children, not only their parents. :)
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And how many of those kids you see actually have gay parents?

Bullying is the intentional tormenting of others through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. There is currently no legal definition of bullying.

In colloquial speech, bullying often describes a form of harassment perpetrated by an abuser who possesses more physical and/or social power and dominance than the victim. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. The harassment can be verbal, physical and/or emotional.
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This description, in my opinion, does not fit the kind of behaviour you are referring to. I was talking about actual harassment.
 
And how many of those kids you see actually have gay parents?

I wasnt refeering to gay parents in my post. ;) I was refeering to all types of parents. :)
Doesnt matter if a child has one parent, gay parents, both parents.. parents who are horrible, parents who are lovely.. they can stil end up bullying.
I was saying children copy children as well as copying parents. They copy anyone they respect or want to be like. :)
 
I wasnt refeering to gay parents in my post.
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Then how far was your post relevant to the discussion?
if a child is going to be bullied from having gay parents then should they be with them?
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After all, you were the one starting the issue of children from homosexual households being bullied. I was merely rebutting your arguments.
 
That was not my opinion. When I said "if a child is going to be bullied from having gay parents, then should they be with them?"
It was not an opinion, an actual question. :)

I do agree with children having gay parents. This is what I said:

I think if a child is brough up in a loving and caring environment then it should't matter if they have same sex parents, aslong as they are getting the care they need. Which is alot more than what some children are getting.
I also think if more gay people adopted children it would become more "normal" within the society and children will not be bullied at school as much, because they have same sex parents.
 
Then I didn't rebut your personal argument but the question you raised, wether it conforms to your personal opinion or not.
 
Okay. :) Fair enough.

So has anyone come out to their parents/family/friends? How did you and if you haven't are you thinking about it any time soon? Or do you think that it's no big deal and they will find out soon enough?
And if you have then can you give some of us tips on how to come out. :lol:
 
i told my mom i was bi at first because i thought it would be easier for her to handle...wrong. she went into overdrive, pointing out every guy we passed saying "don't you think he's hot??" "would you date him?" so finally one day in the middle of walmart while she was doing this i yelled "no, mom, no! i don't like guys, i'm a lesbian!" i thought she was going to hit the floor...but she recovered in time to say "shhhhh!!! someone will hear you!" she's really accepting and we're extremely close now but it was a long four years leading up until now.
friends were a bit easier because in the tradition of high school i only had to tell one and then the whole school knew :lol: but it was never a big deal at school, most people were fine with it.

my advice: don't do it in a car, this may seem like a good idea because it is a trapped audience but its best if someone doesn't run off the road.

if your a minor/live at home/go to school i'd do it on a weekday so you don't have to look at them all weekend, this gives the info time to sink in. unfortunately this plan backfired on me because my mom kept me out of school to buy me pink clothes and schedule therapy appointments. i'll call this the "quick fix syndrome" obviously it doesn't work.

its always good to remember that its your family and they love you, chances are they are going to love you no matter what you are or do. it takes a great amount of courage to come out to the people you love, some people are afraid of coming out their entire lives and thats okay too. but when/if you do come out, remember that its a big step for anyone and you should be proud of yourself for taking it.
 
I know how my mum reacted when my sisters both told her.
I think I will just keep it to myself, my mum already suspects I am.
But I definitely think I will just go university this year and she won't bother too much about who I am dating as I will not be seeing her as much. ;)
 
Well, I've told my mom I think I'm gay, but it hasn't registered yet. Like her and my sister always kid around and are like "Shut up lesbian!", whenever I say like oh she's hot. Or something of that sort. Of course, they're totally kidding.

I can't wait to go to college and get to date whoever I want. Boys or girls, without my mom jumping on my case.

I want kids definatly. Last night I was actually thinking about this, I want to adopt like a 5 or 6 year-old girl. Even if I end up with a man, I don't really want to go through all that pain and doctors appointments. I'd rather just have a little girl. Plus, it's so much more helpful.
 
I myself never actually came out to my family. My mother just kind of knew and we never really talked about it. She never knew about my ex and now she's only ever seen my girlfriend a couple of times but I guess she's glad she at least knows this time... well actually she probably thinks this is my first relationship and she's relieved I found someone at all :rolleyes:

Coming out to my grandma was fun though. Some punk mentioned on my yearbook page that I was gay and when my granny read it she looked at me rather confused, I quote: "Is that truuuuue?" (You know, that typical grandma voice) I just shrugged, saying "so what"
Later she asked my mother about it, just to have her confirm it :rolleyes:

So anyways, on my birthday party a friend told me that my cousin might have a suspicion too (was kinda hard to miss seeing how my girlfriend was there too) but he never said anything... and neither did I, so I can't be sure.

Nobody else in the family really knows, but we're not that close anyway. It's not like I'm hiding it, it just never comes up and I always feel like aproaching someone out of nowhere, telling them "by the way I'm queer" feels inappropriate, like, what do they care, wasn't even part of the conversation...


It's different with friends though, most of them notice and if they don't you can just occasionally drop hints until they do. (Or you get drunk and call your girlfriend in the middle of the night declaring loudly that you love her... that's how my best friend found out some years ago :p )
 
Do I want kids...well I've never really actually reached a decision point, but I'm sure I have some time to do that. I love kids with all my heart, but one time I was talking about it, and people were saying that a kid with gay parents would grow up in a horrible envornment and be bullied etc. etc. But I do believe, if you raise them right, they'll be able to ignore that. So I don't know, I would love kids, but I don't want them to grow up miserable.
 
Yeah I am out to my family, friends and the rest of the world. And its like this; they either deal with it or they get lost. Cause me being gay is a part of who I am. Not accepting that means not accepting me. And if someone doesn't accept me for who I am.. well.. there's the door. Don't let it hit ya on the way out.

My family and friends are okay with it. My mom had some trouble at first but she's dealing with it okay now. For as far they are dealing with me to begin with.. :confused:
 
SaraSidle_girl said:
Yeah I am out to my family, friends and the rest of the world. And its like this; they either deal with it or they get lost. Cause me being gay is a part of who I am. Not accepting that means not accepting me. And if someone doesn't accept me for who I am.. well.. there's the door. Don't let it hit ya on the way out.
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:lol: That's the attitude I need to take, but I am so sensitive and I guess I want to be accpeted, so I this is why I have not told my mum. Another reason is because she hasnt asked. But there is definitely pressure on me to reproduce as both my sisters are gay and definitely not having children. :lol:
One day I know I will just say to myself that I should be living for me, and stop living like my mum wants me to. But I am not confident enough to do that just yet. Although I know I need to.
 
I don't really talk about my sexuality unless someone asks. My mum hasn't asked- so I haven't told her. I think if did say anything she wouldn't take me seriously so I'll probably wait until I'm all settled with life and if that entails having a girlfriend then she'll find out.

As for kids...I'd like to think I could have them one day. I'm bi so it's possible I'll end up with a man anyway but if I decide I'll be happier with a woman then we'll have to look at other methods of parenting I guess.
 
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