From the Mouth of High School

OMG!! THis thread is too funny.

Okay so Ive got one. Background info - students neeed 36 community service hours to graduate.

teacher - Class, a warning to all seniors, you must have your completed hours by the end of the semester.

student- oh no. I need to hurry up. I can just get them all on Saturday.

The kid never realized that there are only 24 hours in a day.:lol:
 
In Geography a few days ago, these two annoying kids who are a grade lower than everyone else but for some reason are taking grade 11 M Physical Geography (probably because they're 'smart' kids) were being idiots and writing "D____ likes men" on the board. Then D would erase it and write "C___ _____ likes men." So some other kid who was writing his answer on the board was getting annoyed and just sort of wrote at the very top of the chart "D____ and C___ _____ are both gay!" No one noticed until the teacher was going over all of the answers and randomly pointed to the top of the board and said "Oh and D____ and C___ _____ are both gay. I hope you guys are very happy." And everyone LOLed at the immature ones. Hmph.

Another time, we were having sex ed with a female teacher of course. A male teacher walked right in, planning on talking to our teacher about something. He stopped, looked at the giant diagram on the overhead, said "Oh." and walked out. xD
 
One I can think of right now is when we had a sub in math. He had an accent and everytime he said "math" it sounded like "meth". My friend and I were trying to figure out what he was saying for the longest time. He would be like, "You need to study your meth!" or "You need to do meth." Everyone was cracking up. And then my friend was talking about massages... no idea why. And he overheard and said really loudly, "You're supposed to be talking about meth! No talking about getting massages! I'm sure you'd love one from your friend beside you, but we must talk meth." Yeah, I was his friend beside him. I was like oh gee, thanks. Ah well, bless him. :p
 
Haha! Last year we had an extra class of math called Math Lab, but we always called it Meth Lab.

So in French today we were playing this game. The point was not to be in the middle. Whoever was in the middle would try to tap the desk where a word was on, but the person has to try to say another word that's on someone else's desk before the person in the middle taps their's. So there are nine people in my French class and my French teacher plays the game with us. So there we are saying all these words fast. It had finally gotten away with me (I had the two easiest words on my desk... what fun!) and so this one girl was just like "Orange Juice" and so our French teacher was in the middle and actually fell for it and went to the desk with the kid who had orange juice on his desk. It was pretty hilarious.

Also in French class, we were still playing this game. I was saying crepe (which sounds like crep) and so the guy at the desk next to me was like "Did you just say crap?" and I said "No, crepe." And he's like "That sounded like crap." So then later another guy was saying crep but instead said crap.
 
Today we were reading Hamlet, and since none of us can understand Shakespeare we read it out loud in class so the teacher can explain what's going on. Anyways, we got to the part where Hamlet is asking Ophelia if he should put his head in her lap while they watch a play. The girl sitting beside the guy who was saying Hamlet's part just sort of laughed. He said "Are you Ophelia?" She said "No..." then this other guy, who was sitting across from "Hamlet" was like "I'm Ophelia."
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We had a substitute in French the other day, who is so awesome. We were all just doing whatever when he says "CLASS, not to distract you but if you direct your attention out of the window of French class, there is a squirrel drinking a juice box!" There was one too, up in the tree.

Teacher: What attracts these elements together?
Kid: *raises hand* Love.

One more. For the past two days my Geography class has been going down to this creek to do some stuff. Well some kids had to get in, but it was shallow enough that it only went up to their knees, mostly. About 3 kids ended up falling into sink holes, getting soaked. And it is freezing here right now. It was snowing today, and they were completely soaking wet. Well the teacher thought it was just hilarious. He was laughing his head off, and video taping everything. At least he let them go back to the school early so their legs didn't fall off from the cold.
 
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Okay basically all I can think of is me telling this guy off in Biology. First, I'll explain that this guy had interrupted every single person's presentation before me. So I had only one option when he interrupted me.

Matt: So what does eradication mean?
Trent: It's the enhilation of something.
Me: Hey, Trent if you have anything else to add why don't you just come up here?

Okay so it's funnier to be there, but the class was like OoOoOo and he was like sorry.
 
Global Science was so unfun last year, except for when our teacher was being fantastically idiotic:

1) We're learning about energy sources, and McPhee says that wind energy isn't as useful, because it doesn't work at night.
ME: Uhm... don't you mean solar power?
MCPHEE: No. There's no wind at night.
(Let's remember that this is a science teacher. *sigh*)
2) On the same day half of my class walked out on him, this exchange went down between him and two of my friends who were presenting a project. (Stan is a girl, it's short for Stanislava.):
MCPHEE: Well, that's good and all girls, but how is nuclear power useful for the US?
KATIE: (scrolls back six slides and shows him the answer to that exact question) It's right there. We said it ten minutes ago.
STAN: Were you even paying attention?
MCPHEE: No.
3) MCPHEE: This side of the pH scale is very aceedic.
COLLEEN: You mean acidic.
MCPHEE: No, aceedic.
KATIE: I think it's acidic.
LAURA: Yeah, it's acidic.
MCPHEE: No, it's aceedic.
ME: Acidic.
MCPHEE: Aceedic!

I don't know if any of these are particularly funny, but they were definitely funny at the time, even if they show my science teacher to have been a bit of a jerk.
 
My Geography teacher is so awesome.

Samara: I don't want this banana anymore. (It was half eaten and she was holding it in the air.)
Justin takes banana and stuffs the rest of it right in his mouth.
Mr. Reid: He'll be popular in prison.
 
Revival of the thread. I actually wrote these down:

Dustin: "Oh my GOD, why does my book go from 192 to 195?!"
Me: "I think your page is folded over."
Dustin: "Oh."
Drew: "Are you stupid?"

...

Mr. Reid: "This guy let's us use his property for this trip, he puts away the dogs and everything! ... Which is nice.

...

In French, Mr. Sims is subbing and can't speak a word of french.
Mr. Sims: "Bonjour class. Germ apple Sims." (He was trying to say "je m'appelle").

...

In Math, one girl was pressing the screen of her computer.
Mr. Sims: "Britney, that's not a touch screen."

...

In Geography, we were talking about how deep the pond we were going to was. Someone asks this one kid how tall her is. He says "About a metre and a half." So later on, we were talking about who's going to go into the middle of the pond to see how deep it is, and David says "We can send Chu in with a straw."

...

Miss Kribs: I'm trying to teach and you're over there being a turd burglar!
 
From the mouth of my genetics/statistics lecturer at uni. He wanted to note down how many fair haired and dark haired boys and girls were in the lecture (no, I'm not sure where the red heads fitted in either).

Ridiculously good looking lecturer: "could the dark haired girls put their hands up so I can have a feel..."
 
DetHiggins said:
Okay basically all I can think of is me telling this guy off in Biology. First, I'll explain that this guy had interrupted every single person's presentation before me. So I had only one option when he interrupted me.

Matt: So what does eradication mean?
Trent: It's the enhilation of something.
Me: Hey, Trent if you have anything else to add why don't you just come up here?

Okay so it's funnier to be there, but the class was like OoOoOo and he was like sorry.
Click to expand...

^^ Ooh.. I did that once. Guys in the back were talking and just without pause I continued "... AND IF YOU GUYS ARE NOT INTERESTED IN LISTENING, I CAN STOP RIGHT HERE"
They were really quiet after that.
 
Mr. Sprong: .. and you guys will be getting a new teacher, you saw him last thursday he was sitting in the back of the classroom..
Me: Oh my goood! Mr. Frog?!
Class: *confused* Mr. Frog?
Me: You can't tell me you didn't see it! That guy does funny things with his tongue every 2 minutes!
Class: :lol:
Me: Not that I was watching him that much..
Mr. Sprong: Okay guys apparently Mr. Frog will be teaching you from now on! As long as he doesn't jump around I'm fine with it!
 
This isn't quite high school but at work but i feel its the same level as school. :lol:

I work at Mcdonalds and al the people i work with are like 18/19 i'm 22Me and one of girls were talking about the fry vats.

Ani: I always wondered what it'd be like to stick your finger in there
Me: Me to, always made me curious.. it looks so tempting.
*cue both of us staring at the hot oil*
Me: we're not the only ones quite a few others get the temptation like when you walk past a grill and wanna touch even tho you know it will be hot.
*Manager walks up*
Ani: have you ever wanted to stick your hand in there?
Manager: No why would you its hot and stupid.

Both of us just laughed... its a common occurance to wonder what it woudl be like
 
Okay so yesterday after a meeting for The Rock (our school magazine that the students do) I was just walking along talking to some upper classmen about ideas for the entertainments section. I was walking a few feet from the wall when out of nowhere I get hit by an opening door! I even laughed at that!

So today we were in the library researching genetic disorders when I looked down at the label for the book.
Me: Hey guys do you realize this says UPER SCHOOL LIBRARY.
Jon: Alright, we'll open our own school called the UPER SCHOOL and claim these books as our own. Then we'll sell them and close it down...

It was funnier if you were there. Kind of weird, but that's my grade for you!
 
So I teach middle school...We've been doind poetry and in an effort to make it fun I let my kids cut letters from magazines and do their poetry "ransom note" style. THe conversation...

X: I need an "A"
Y: Capital or lower case?
Z: I have a bunch over here. I've been cutting them out and tossing them in to this pit. I call it my A hole.
:guffaw:

ME: Turning my back and snickering while most of the rest of the class laughs and person X is standing there with a confused look on his face.
 
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