From the Mouth of High School

E.O.C. Geometry Testing
-Blake: Mrs. P, do you dye your hair?
-Mrs. P: Yeah.
-Blake: It's hot...I wanna make out with you.

-Matt: Wanna make somethin' of it!?!
-Mrs. P: Hey, hey, hey, if you're gonna fight move the tests so you don't get blood on them!
-Blake: You wanna fight?
-Mrs. P: Just don't get blood on the tests, that's all I ask.

-Matt: (About girls in in-school suspension) That's going to follow them until they die, I was going to say graduate but...I'll see them at my 30 year reunion and go, 'Ha ha ha!'...I'll be in a wheelchair, 'Ha ha ha!'.

-Mrs. P: Hey! Quit throwing toilet paper! Strange children!

-Evan: I hate to be the bearer of bad news but- ooooh!
(Pickst up a stuffed ball and throws it at Blake)
-Mrs. P: You missed! And you call yourself a baseball player?

-Blake:(In a deep, gruff voice) Lemme show you how the cornbread rolls.
-Matt: That doesn't make any sense.
-Blake: It's a prison joke, it's not supposed to make any sense.

-Evan: I wish we would get a test like in first grade. Where it was 'What is a triangle?' and it gave you a square, a circle, a triangle and a rectangle.
-Mrs. P: I bet that seemed a lot harder in the first grade.
-Evan: Yeah, it was like, 'Oh dear god! I always forget this one!'.

(Micah is wearing a Jesse McCartney t-shirt)
-Blake: Whoever is wearing a Jesse McCartney t-shirt, please, stand up so I can throw stuff at them.
(David stands up)

-David: That's a lamp! Shane, no! Don't play with that!

-Blake: Does John control you?
-Evan: That's me and John's business!
 
English

The explination behind this quote is that today the temperatures hit mid 70s and even in New England no one is ready for those types of temperatures in mid April.

Rudy: To cool down can I take my shirt off?
 
Mr L.: Did everyone read last night?
Greg: I did!
Mr. L: Greg you always read.
Stephanie: Greg you read in church!
Greg: God gives me the strength to read in church!
 
This was said when me and three great friends were on break playing cards and a teacher comes to talk to us for a couple minutes.

Jolene: Did you go yet
Me: Uh no
Jolene: Hurry up it's annoying
Me: Sorry I was paying more attention to what Ms. Bradey was saying
Jolene: Why
Kristen: Probably because it was a woman
Me: Yeah that's actually probably it
Kristen: I knew you'd admit it


If you can't tell my girl firends tease me about my love of women, which I really don't vare what they think. I think they enjoy some of the shit I say, they have the best reactions when I tell embaressing shit about stuff I've done.
 
ok so i just saw this thread today and i knew i had to post some of the stupid comments that happen in my classes

Biology

Roney: Can you get a cramp in your eye?

(Ms. C was talking about stadium waves and how they connect to the nervous system)
Roney: Just quit!

Roney:(randomly) I pledge allegiance to theUnited States of America...

In the hallways
Cristina(my bff): Isn't it Ho-ra-sio?
Me: NO ITS HORATIO!
 
English

In English we were discussing the main charcter if the book we're reading.

Mike: The kid writes like he's on cocaine
Ms S. Can you back that up
Mike: Good old fashoned american cocaine.

Lunch

At lunch we were talking about how television and other media has changed over time when discussing things involoving race.

The kid Kevin who we were having lunch with is a lot more immature than everone else and really shouldn't have been with us.

The things Kevin says you may consider very offensive but this kid has no idea about how what he's say can be interpritted. It was funny only because it was in such poor taste.

Mike: ...think about that show All in the Family
Kevin: I don't want to talk about this black stuff, let's change topics.
Mike: The rest of us do want to talk about this, and we're not going to change topics just for you.
Kevin: I don't want to talk about this black stuff, they're not funny.

Government.

This happened before the actual class started we were flipping through the city and region section of the paper which had an article and photo of a woman who was an ex-stripper who then practiced phychyitry without a lisence, and was convicted of it a week or so ago.

Rudy: With a face like that how was she ever successful as a stripper
Scott: It's not about the face.
 
English

We were talking about the book we're reading in English 'Nothing but the Truth'

Mike: Why does this book mention Karen Ann Quinlan
Rudy: Who's she
Me. Former state vegetable of New Jersey (People did call her that)
Mike: Yeah but why did they mention her in a book written for children, they might as well have put in Jeffer Dahmer's birthday.

Government

I was kidding around when I said this, I asked it because the day before I'd been reading the America book from The Daily Show, and I was asking a couple of their mock question.

Me: If this was an absolute monarchy would you want to be the king or a slave?
Scott: King obviously, wait what kind of slave?
 
Back in grades from 7th to 8th, there was two who were talking during the class: teacher and me :p

Oh my English teacher so... seriously. Man I was laughing...

English teacher didn't like the way Swedish teacher taught words...

Englishteacher: When you teach in that way, your vocabulary will remain small
Me: Hey, my vocabulary is large enough (meaning SWEDISH)
Englishteacher: Yeah, I've noticed

I mean wtf? :lol: :lol: I took that as a personal hint (like it was meant :p )
 
I'm sure there are loads but I can only think of 1 right now. It was when I was at college at couple of years ago.

There was this guy on my course, Gareth who's just a moron. He asks the most stupid questions and thinks he's just the best. One lesson he was talking about alcoholics anonymous and how stupid it was, all the 'I'm so and so, and I'm an alcoholic' stuff. And my tutor just said "What, like, 'My name is Gareth and I'm a d**khead.'"

It probably doesn't sound that funny, but it was hilarious when she said it. She didn't even miss a beat.
 
(After lunch in New York city)
-Emilee: Hey, Emilee, where'd you eat?
-Me: Pizza.
-Emilee: Was it different than in Arkansas?
-Me: Yeah.
-Emilee: I ate at Subway, it isn't.

-Matthew: Dylan told me he'd pay me $10 to slap my own face really hard, so I did. It hurt really bad. He gave me the $10 and when I went to put it up I realized that it was my own $10...I've been jiped.

Matthew was like this always, he had to be constantly watched, to further expalain this-
-Walker: And remember, he's the future.
-Mr. K: If he makes it to the future, that is.
 
Mr. P (Latin) quotes:

Is everyone done their tests yet?... (5 seconds later) Is everyone done their tests yet?

I've had a lot of caffeine. Let's play silent ball!

It's a half day, and all your other teachers might let you watch movies, but we're learning in here. So you get to learn about the fourth declension and have your carnival on the same day. Wahoo!

Easy street is the path to homelessness.

It's my favorite pronoun. Yes, I do have a favorite pronoun.

It's my favorite declension. I mean, just look at all the 'U's'!

Mrs. S (English) quotes:

(referring to Juliet's very low shirt in Zeferelli's Romeo and Juliet) Yes, it is a bit distracting, isn't it?

Mr. B (Earth Science) quotes:

We're all going to be water molecules!

Globular is too a word. I'm going to look it up in the dictionary and prove you all wrong.

Is that whining I hear?

Porphorytic.... isn't that a cool word?

I still have my magic schoolbus volcano set. (takes it out) Look, you can see all the layers of rock!

KB (Bio, and yes he's our teacher, but we all call him KB):

Remember, children, please, stay away from feces.
 
Mr. S reads a poem in which the boyfriend kill his girlfriend after a passionate night.
Mr. S: Ashley, what's your opinion?
Me: I was touched, why can't I find a good boyfriend?
Maureen: None of us can obviously, I mean we're all still alive.

Ms. J: We're going to have to have a trial.
Me: Oh good, I watch Law and Order.
Ms. J: Well, good for you. I'm glad to see your learning something.
 
Geometry:

(Mr. K is walking around the room checking as we do a word-problem; this was yesterday)
Mr. K: Oh look, Sammy's a circle-constructing pro. He's got good technique.
(Later)
Mr. K: *points to Sammy's paper* His circle technique is perfect but his straightedge technique sucks.

(Today, we were doing word problems on husg posters because Mr. K had tons of collored paper and didn't really feel like teaching. This smart but really self-centered, smug, know-it-all Griffen got stuck with the goof-off guys, who spent the period drawing weird stuff around the word 'Pentagon')
Me: Griffen your group's not doing anything.
Griffen: I know! Guys, lets get this done!
Brandon: We are, Griffen.
Sammy: Griffen just doesn't like our drawings.
Jose: Let's draw Griffen in.
Griffen: *sigh*
Me and Erin: *laughing*

Holly: (she HATES Griffen) Lilly, I need help decing which guy's head deserves to be blown off.
Me: Uhh...Griffen?
Holly: I already blew his head off. I drew it out, I imagined it, and now, instead of seeing his ugly face, I see nothing! So who next?
Me: Uhh...Sammy?
Holly: Sammy! Imma gonna blow you up!
Sammy: *looks over*

Gym:

(In the locker room, talking about a very different, very old Mr. K who taught sex-ed last year to us and this year he teaches us physics and the 7th graders, well, sex-ed)

Me: The seventh graders are doing sex-ed. Reminds me of last year.
Holly: I remember him as our teacher.
Me: Yep. He talked about his bitchy daughters, when he found out his wife was 'ready to have kids' and he rushed home...
Holly: I know. He goes 'Is sex good? Yeah. Do I like sex? Hell yeah. Do I have safe sex? *makes big hand movements* Of course, every time!'
Me: We should have said 'then why do you have those obnoxious kids?'
Holly: *laughs*

English:

Ms. F: It was translated by John Fagel.
Sidney: *bursts out laughing*
(The whole table, our table, stares at Sidney)
Ms. F: *raises eyebrows*
Sidney: ...bagel... *laughing*
Ms. F: *rolls eyes* F-A-G-E-L.
Sidney: It sounded like you said bagel. *laughing*
Me: *bursts out laughing*
Sidney: *stares at me* WTF?
Me: Bagel... *laughing* It's a funny word.

Ms. F: We're reading Sonet 130, which is written about a woman by Shakespeare.
Me: As opposed to the others written about a man?
Ms. F: Yes, actually.
(The table laughs)

Ms. F: This poem is about how most people say 'oh her red lips as red as coral,' or 'her skin as fair as snow' and this is sort of like a parody of this whole...cliche...
Sidney: *reading* So it's like making fun of her?
Ms. F: It's humanizing her.
Me: I like this poem. 'Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.'
Sidney: *whispers* He's making fun of her. He got his satisfaction from the men in his poems.
Me: *laughing*
 
cainesugar said:

Ms. F: It was translated by John Fagel.
Sidney: *bursts out laughing*
(The whole table, our table, stares at Sidney)
Ms. F: *raises eyebrows*
Sidney: ...bagel... *laughing*
Ms. F: *rolls eyes* F-A-G-E-L.
Sidney: It sounded like you said bagel. *laughing*
Me: *bursts out laughing*
Sidney: *stares at me* WTF?
Me: Bagel... *laughing* It's a funny word.
Click to expand...

This made me laugh.. :D
 
:lol: Me too.

TA (for a seventh grade history class, talking about Catholics and Protestants and transubstantiation)

Mr. G: Catholics make a big deal of tilting the glass in your mouth, as you drink the 'blood' and wipe it off, like it's precious, and actually the blood of Jesus. Protestants have grape juice in tiny Dixy cups on a platter and you take one, raise it, say 'cheers'; you drink it, they give you the cracker and you eat the Jesus.
Everyone: *laughs*
 
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