SaraSidleStokes
Captain
*smirks* that a good one Heather that and "WHOA" from back in the "Blossom" Days
Favorite TV Show Quotes
- Thread starter AlyssaluvsDanny
- Start date
ladyhunter
Head of the Swing Shift
Another from Will and Grace
Nathan: Lighten up Will, It's breakfast not a pelvic exam
:lol:
Thanks SSS
Nathan: Lighten up Will, It's breakfast not a pelvic exam
:lol:
Thanks SSS
SaraSidleStokes
Captain
I just finished watching According to Jim
heres some qoutes
Cheryl: Crap on a Cracker
Dana: Your Husband broke My husband
****
Andy: did you know Chihuahua is spanish for Yapping Crap machine
heres some qoutes
Cheryl: Crap on a Cracker
Dana: Your Husband broke My husband
****
Andy: did you know Chihuahua is spanish for Yapping Crap machine
ladyhunter
Head of the Swing Shift
Here's another one,
"Dangit BOBBY!"
King of the Hill
"Dangit BOBBY!"
King of the Hill
Frasier
[about Frasier's agent]
Niles: You're still consorting with that barracuda?
Frasier: Well, a barracuda is what you want in an agent, Niles. Well, it's just that the station's been sold, I was hoping she might have some scuttlebutt on the new owner. I must admit she's rather hard to get a hold of these days.
Niles: Oh really? I thought one just drew a pentagram on the floor and chanted "I summon thee" three times.
Niles: Frasier, do you remember the time the Kreizel brothers tied me to their Great Dane and lobbed meatballs down their gravel driveway?
Frasier: I told you Niles, I would have helped you, but their sister was holding me down.
Niles: Why didn't you hold the elevator? Didn't you hear me shouting?
Frasier: That was you? Oh, I'm sorry, Niles. I was afraid you were trying to get a picture of my butt.
Niles: How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia.
Daphne: I suppose she can be a bit overbearing. But as she often points out, she is paying for the wedding and I am her only daughter and giving birth to me was so painful she did bite through a kitchen spoon.
Frasier: Daphne, just don't let you mother guilt you into having the wedding she wants instead of the wedding you want.
Daphne: Oh, don't worry, mum already promised me I could have the wedding I want, as soon as I have a daughter who gets engaged
[Bulldog picks up Roz's daughter Alice]
Bulldog: Hey, look who's here. Hey, sweetpea, you are getting so big. Hey, look at that smile, she likes me.
Roz: She's relieved not to be the least mature person in the room any more.
Roz: Tell me something, do I have the word "loser" tatooed across my forehead?
Frasier: No, Roz, but there is a rumour about a "Tweety Bird" on your upper thigh.
Roz: When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.
Niles: I've always liked the notion of meeting the great figures of history. But then I think, what if it's like high school and all the really cool dead people don't want to hang out with me?
[about Frasier's agent]
Niles: You're still consorting with that barracuda?
Frasier: Well, a barracuda is what you want in an agent, Niles. Well, it's just that the station's been sold, I was hoping she might have some scuttlebutt on the new owner. I must admit she's rather hard to get a hold of these days.
Niles: Oh really? I thought one just drew a pentagram on the floor and chanted "I summon thee" three times.
Niles: Frasier, do you remember the time the Kreizel brothers tied me to their Great Dane and lobbed meatballs down their gravel driveway?
Frasier: I told you Niles, I would have helped you, but their sister was holding me down.
Niles: Why didn't you hold the elevator? Didn't you hear me shouting?
Frasier: That was you? Oh, I'm sorry, Niles. I was afraid you were trying to get a picture of my butt.
Niles: How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia.
Daphne: I suppose she can be a bit overbearing. But as she often points out, she is paying for the wedding and I am her only daughter and giving birth to me was so painful she did bite through a kitchen spoon.
Frasier: Daphne, just don't let you mother guilt you into having the wedding she wants instead of the wedding you want.
Daphne: Oh, don't worry, mum already promised me I could have the wedding I want, as soon as I have a daughter who gets engaged
[Bulldog picks up Roz's daughter Alice]
Bulldog: Hey, look who's here. Hey, sweetpea, you are getting so big. Hey, look at that smile, she likes me.
Roz: She's relieved not to be the least mature person in the room any more.
Roz: Tell me something, do I have the word "loser" tatooed across my forehead?
Frasier: No, Roz, but there is a rumour about a "Tweety Bird" on your upper thigh.
Roz: When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.
Niles: I've always liked the notion of meeting the great figures of history. But then I think, what if it's like high school and all the really cool dead people don't want to hang out with me?
Hankster
Coroner
Moonlighting
Dave Addison: Maddie! Maddie! Maddie! It's Friday night! It's the night people get PAID! It's the night people get WHAT RHYMES WITH PAID!!!
* * * * * *
Dave Addison: I know it's driving you crazy! You can hear them all out there, all over the world going BOINK! BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK! BOINK BOINK! BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK!!!
Maddie: I refuse to discuss my love life with a man that refers to the act of human procreation as "boinking."
(Later, Maddie is at home trying to go to sleep and is reading a book in bed. Suddenly she throws it down and growls!)
Maddie: DAMN YOU DAVID ADDISON! DAMN YOU!!!!
* * * * * * *
Dave Addison: (Thinking he's found Maddie in flagrante delicto, but has in fact some other blonde woman in that same condition with a very ANGRY man!) Maddie! Look out! Mr. Goodbar's got a gun!!!!
Dave Addison: Maddie! Maddie! Maddie! It's Friday night! It's the night people get PAID! It's the night people get WHAT RHYMES WITH PAID!!!
* * * * * *
Dave Addison: I know it's driving you crazy! You can hear them all out there, all over the world going BOINK! BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK! BOINK BOINK! BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK!!!
Maddie: I refuse to discuss my love life with a man that refers to the act of human procreation as "boinking."
(Later, Maddie is at home trying to go to sleep and is reading a book in bed. Suddenly she throws it down and growls!)
Maddie: DAMN YOU DAVID ADDISON! DAMN YOU!!!!
* * * * * * *
Dave Addison: (Thinking he's found Maddie in flagrante delicto, but has in fact some other blonde woman in that same condition with a very ANGRY man!) Maddie! Look out! Mr. Goodbar's got a gun!!!!
ladyhunter
Head of the Swing Shift
From Seinfeld, I'm sure it's been said too...
NEWMAN!
NEWMAN!
Rescue Me
Chief Reilly: Look, what are the odds of you guys actually, you know, breaking up?
Tommy Gavin: [In disbelief] There's a pool on my divorce?
Chief Reilly: Nooo... . Yeah.
Chief Reilly: What in the sweet chocolate Christ is a metrosexual?
Coroner: Um... she's dead. Her neck is broken. Died instantly.
Tommy Gavin: I was just talking to her!
Homeless Man: Take a hike, wannabe!
Kenny Lou: [Drunk] You hake a tike!
Uncle Teddy: [in Tommy's house, the kitchen is an absolute mess] Hey, Tommy! Check it out! I made chili tonight!
Tommy Gavin: Yeah, no shit. What did ya do, mix it with a goddamn shotgun?
Sean Garrity: [the FDNY is losing the hockey game and Kenny Lou is going to lose 500 dollars on the game] Man, I'm gonna lose my 25 bucks.
Kenny Lou: [looks at Sean for a few seconds. Takes out lighter and lights Seans pants]
Chief Reilly: Look, what are the odds of you guys actually, you know, breaking up?
Tommy Gavin: [In disbelief] There's a pool on my divorce?
Chief Reilly: Nooo... . Yeah.
Chief Reilly: What in the sweet chocolate Christ is a metrosexual?
Coroner: Um... she's dead. Her neck is broken. Died instantly.
Tommy Gavin: I was just talking to her!
Homeless Man: Take a hike, wannabe!
Kenny Lou: [Drunk] You hake a tike!
Uncle Teddy: [in Tommy's house, the kitchen is an absolute mess] Hey, Tommy! Check it out! I made chili tonight!
Tommy Gavin: Yeah, no shit. What did ya do, mix it with a goddamn shotgun?
Sean Garrity: [the FDNY is losing the hockey game and Kenny Lou is going to lose 500 dollars on the game] Man, I'm gonna lose my 25 bucks.
Kenny Lou: [looks at Sean for a few seconds. Takes out lighter and lights Seans pants]
csikicksurass
Captain
denis leary is the best, i love his song "im an asshole" :lol: "sometimes i park in handycap places while handycap people make handycap faces"
cheers:
sam "god was speaking to me through hotel bed stands"
snl
"LAZER CATS"
"through good times and bad, LETTUCE"
harasio sans as carol talking about chest of droors
"if you play with my chest ill drop my droors"
kevin spacey "i have to go and interigate jesus the rabit"
cheers:
sam "god was speaking to me through hotel bed stands"
snl
"LAZER CATS"
"through good times and bad, LETTUCE"
harasio sans as carol talking about chest of droors
"if you play with my chest ill drop my droors"
kevin spacey "i have to go and interigate jesus the rabit"
glam_chic86
Head of the Graveyard Shift
The Office
Michael Scott: Abraham Lincoln once said that "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North" and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.
Michael Scott: What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It's the people. The *people*. My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No, no, no ,no. It was a young Guatamalan guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went "Mr Scott, will you be the Godfather to my child?" Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.
Michael Scott: No, I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don't tell them.
Pam Beesley: I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then I might
[pauses]
Pam Beesley: Its just, I don't think its many girls dream to be a receptionist.
Dwight Schrute: Damnit, he put my stapler in jello again.
[Points to Michael]
Dwight Schrute: You can be a witness to this.
Jim Halpert: [eating jello] How do you know it was me?
Michael Scott: I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments, and that is when it's nice to let them know that you could beat them up.
Michael Scott: Yeah I went hunting once. Shot a deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. Why do you ask?
Phyllis: [the employees are listing what books they would like to read on a desert island] The DaVinci Code.
Angela: The DaVinci Code. I would bring The DaVinci Code. So I could burn The DaVinci Code.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah right, that would keep you warm for like 7 seconds.
Michael Scott: Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. "Little Kid Lover". That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
Edward R. Meow: [Michael and the employees kids are watching the young Michael on an old puppet show] So, tell me, what do you wanna be when you grow up?
Young Michael Scott: I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.
Edward R. Meow: [Long pause] Uh... oh, ok. Well, nice talking with you, Michael. Back to you, Miss Trudy!
Melissa Hudson: [after Michael turns off the clip] Did you get married?
Michael Scott: Uh, no...
Abby: Why not?
Michael Scott: Uh, it just never happened.
Sasha: So, do you have any kids?
Michael Scott: Uh, nope.
Jake Palmer: Do you have a girlfriend?
Michael Scott: I do ok.
Melissa Hudson: Was Chet Montgomery cool back then?
Jake Palmer: Even I have a girlfriend.
Michael Scott: Ok. Alright, ok.
Sasha: So you didn't get to be who you wanted to be.
Michael Scott: [pause] I guess not...
Michael Scott: I am Michael, and I am part English, Irish, German, and Scottish, sort of a virtual United Nations.
Oscar: Both my parents were born in Mexico, and they moved to the United States a year before I was born, so I grew up in the United States... my parents were Mexican.
Michael Scott: Wow, that is a great story. That's the American dream right there, right? Um, let me ask you, is there a term besides 'Mexican' that you prefer? Something less offensive?
Jim Halpert: Last night on "Trading Spouses," there's... did you see it?
Pam Beesley: No, I have a life.
Jim Halpert: Interesting, what's that like?
Pam Beesley: You should try it some time.
Jim Halpert: Wow. But then who would watch my TV?
Dwight Schrute: Okay, first, let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael Scott: Uh, none: you're picking a healthcare plan.
Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam Beesley: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.
Michael Scott: I think if I was allergic to dairy I'd kill myself.
Jim Halpert: God, this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head.
Michael Scott: I need something personal... like an illness.
Dwight Schrute: Well, she had a hysterectomy.
Michael Scott: Which one is that again?
Dwight Schrute: That's when they remove the uterus...
Michael Scott: No! Dwight! God...
Ryan's Voicemail: Seven new messages. First new message:
Michael Scott: Hi, Ryan. This is Saddam Hussein.
Ryan's Voicemail: Next message:
Michael Scott: Hey, Ryan, this is your girlfriend and I'm mad.
Michael Scott: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Pam Beesley: I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course by saying that, she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.
Kevin: I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn't.
[smiles]
Michael Scott: Christmas is awesome. First of all you got to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no-one can say anything. Third you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time.
Dwight Schrute: Downsizing? I have no problem with that. I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview. I say, bring it on.
Michael Scott: Happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party is so lame!
Ryan Howard: [sees Todd's License plate is WLHUNG] You a big William Hung fan?
Todd Packer: Why does everyone ask me that? Who the hell is that?
Michael Scott: [holds up his injured foot, which is wrapped in plastic] What does this look like to you?
Stanley: Mailboxes, Etc.
Michael Scott: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's the perfect way to start the day.
Michael Scott: You people are jerks. Imagine if you had left Stevie Wonder on the floor of that bathroom instead of me.
Phyllis: Oh, we wouldn't, we love Stevie Wonder.
Michael Scott: Can I have everyone's attention, please? Phylis; Oscar; Ryan, who's supposed to be dead.
Ryan Howard: If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I'd forget too.
Michael Scott: Jim is a friend of mine, so the only people this crush really concerns is Jim and Pam. And me.
Michael Scott: You know what they say the best medicine is.
Kevin: Well, the doctor said a combination of Interferon and Dacarbazine.
Michael Scott: And laughter, also.
Michael Scott: You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind.
Michael Scott: Look, about you and Jim, I...
Pam Beesley: Oh no, that's-you don't have to...
Michael Scott: I, no, I just feel it's my responsibility as your boss-slash-friend...
Pam Beesley: No, it's really-it's ok. Um, I know that Jim, like, had a crush on me when he first started, but that was a long time ago, so...
Michael Scott: It wasn't that long ago. It was on the booze cruise.
Pam Beesley: [Puzzled] Jim had a crush on me on the booze cruise, or he told you about it on the booze cruise?
Michael Scott: Uh-uh. Ok... shut it, Michael. I'm done, that's it. I'm out.
[Pam leaves, now wondering what really happened]
Michael Scott: Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."
Michael Scott: I swore to myself if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh as they saw me coming, and they'd applaud as I walked away.
Dwight Schrute: When I was in the 6th grade I was a finalist in our school spelling bee. It was me against Raj Patel. I misspelled, in front of the entire school, the word "failure".
Pam Beesley: [about the office awards the Dundees] You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundees are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.
:lol:
Michael Scott: Abraham Lincoln once said that "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North" and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.
Michael Scott: What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It's the people. The *people*. My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No, no, no ,no. It was a young Guatamalan guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went "Mr Scott, will you be the Godfather to my child?" Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.
Michael Scott: No, I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don't tell them.
Pam Beesley: I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then I might
[pauses]
Pam Beesley: Its just, I don't think its many girls dream to be a receptionist.
Dwight Schrute: Damnit, he put my stapler in jello again.
[Points to Michael]
Dwight Schrute: You can be a witness to this.
Jim Halpert: [eating jello] How do you know it was me?
Michael Scott: I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments, and that is when it's nice to let them know that you could beat them up.
Michael Scott: Yeah I went hunting once. Shot a deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. Why do you ask?
Phyllis: [the employees are listing what books they would like to read on a desert island] The DaVinci Code.
Angela: The DaVinci Code. I would bring The DaVinci Code. So I could burn The DaVinci Code.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah right, that would keep you warm for like 7 seconds.
Michael Scott: Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. "Little Kid Lover". That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
Edward R. Meow: [Michael and the employees kids are watching the young Michael on an old puppet show] So, tell me, what do you wanna be when you grow up?
Young Michael Scott: I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.
Edward R. Meow: [Long pause] Uh... oh, ok. Well, nice talking with you, Michael. Back to you, Miss Trudy!
Melissa Hudson: [after Michael turns off the clip] Did you get married?
Michael Scott: Uh, no...
Abby: Why not?
Michael Scott: Uh, it just never happened.
Sasha: So, do you have any kids?
Michael Scott: Uh, nope.
Jake Palmer: Do you have a girlfriend?
Michael Scott: I do ok.
Melissa Hudson: Was Chet Montgomery cool back then?
Jake Palmer: Even I have a girlfriend.
Michael Scott: Ok. Alright, ok.
Sasha: So you didn't get to be who you wanted to be.
Michael Scott: [pause] I guess not...
Michael Scott: I am Michael, and I am part English, Irish, German, and Scottish, sort of a virtual United Nations.
Oscar: Both my parents were born in Mexico, and they moved to the United States a year before I was born, so I grew up in the United States... my parents were Mexican.
Michael Scott: Wow, that is a great story. That's the American dream right there, right? Um, let me ask you, is there a term besides 'Mexican' that you prefer? Something less offensive?
Jim Halpert: Last night on "Trading Spouses," there's... did you see it?
Pam Beesley: No, I have a life.
Jim Halpert: Interesting, what's that like?
Pam Beesley: You should try it some time.
Jim Halpert: Wow. But then who would watch my TV?
Dwight Schrute: Okay, first, let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael Scott: Uh, none: you're picking a healthcare plan.
Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam Beesley: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.
Michael Scott: I think if I was allergic to dairy I'd kill myself.
Jim Halpert: God, this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head.
Michael Scott: I need something personal... like an illness.
Dwight Schrute: Well, she had a hysterectomy.
Michael Scott: Which one is that again?
Dwight Schrute: That's when they remove the uterus...
Michael Scott: No! Dwight! God...
Ryan's Voicemail: Seven new messages. First new message:
Michael Scott: Hi, Ryan. This is Saddam Hussein.
Ryan's Voicemail: Next message:
Michael Scott: Hey, Ryan, this is your girlfriend and I'm mad.
Michael Scott: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Pam Beesley: I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course by saying that, she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.
Kevin: I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn't.
[smiles]
Michael Scott: Christmas is awesome. First of all you got to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no-one can say anything. Third you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time.
Dwight Schrute: Downsizing? I have no problem with that. I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview. I say, bring it on.
Michael Scott: Happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party is so lame!
Ryan Howard: [sees Todd's License plate is WLHUNG] You a big William Hung fan?
Todd Packer: Why does everyone ask me that? Who the hell is that?
Michael Scott: [holds up his injured foot, which is wrapped in plastic] What does this look like to you?
Stanley: Mailboxes, Etc.
Michael Scott: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's the perfect way to start the day.
Michael Scott: You people are jerks. Imagine if you had left Stevie Wonder on the floor of that bathroom instead of me.
Phyllis: Oh, we wouldn't, we love Stevie Wonder.
Michael Scott: Can I have everyone's attention, please? Phylis; Oscar; Ryan, who's supposed to be dead.
Ryan Howard: If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I'd forget too.
Michael Scott: Jim is a friend of mine, so the only people this crush really concerns is Jim and Pam. And me.
Michael Scott: You know what they say the best medicine is.
Kevin: Well, the doctor said a combination of Interferon and Dacarbazine.
Michael Scott: And laughter, also.
Michael Scott: You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind.
Michael Scott: Look, about you and Jim, I...
Pam Beesley: Oh no, that's-you don't have to...
Michael Scott: I, no, I just feel it's my responsibility as your boss-slash-friend...
Pam Beesley: No, it's really-it's ok. Um, I know that Jim, like, had a crush on me when he first started, but that was a long time ago, so...
Michael Scott: It wasn't that long ago. It was on the booze cruise.
Pam Beesley: [Puzzled] Jim had a crush on me on the booze cruise, or he told you about it on the booze cruise?
Michael Scott: Uh-uh. Ok... shut it, Michael. I'm done, that's it. I'm out.
[Pam leaves, now wondering what really happened]
Michael Scott: Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."
Michael Scott: I swore to myself if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh as they saw me coming, and they'd applaud as I walked away.
Dwight Schrute: When I was in the 6th grade I was a finalist in our school spelling bee. It was me against Raj Patel. I misspelled, in front of the entire school, the word "failure".
Pam Beesley: [about the office awards the Dundees] You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundees are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.
:lol:
Arrested Development
Tobias: What an adventure gang! I thought that the homosexuals were pirates but it turns out most of them were actors in the local theater. [laughs] Your right, it was amazing though. I've been waiting for the universe to provide a path for me and I think it has!
Lindsay: Your gay.
Tobias: No. No. I'm not- I'm not gay. No. Lindsay, how many times must we have this- No. I want to be an actor.
Michael: I Quit.
George Sr.: Probably a good career move.
George Sr.: [whispering] They cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime. [winks]
Michael: Yeah, I don't think that's true Dad.
George Sr.: Really? I've got the worst [Beeping] attorneys.
Michael: [To George Michael about Maeby] You stay on top of her buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard.
Lucille: Then why don't you marry an Ice Cream Sandwich?!
Lucille: He's your older brother. You could find a little job for him. Make him feel special.
Michael: But he's not special.
Lucille: No.
G.O.B: This is gonna blow your mind. Some say wealth is an illusion. Well, let's just see. For one moment, it's here and in the next... Monopoly! You don't have it, do you?
George Michael: Yeah, I think I might
G.O.B: That's good because a lot of pieces are missing. Oh to play Monopoly with my family again. I'd give anything to be eight.
George Michael: I'm 13.
G.O.B: No, I wsn't crazy about 13. The acne, self-consciouness, the erections. You okay?
George Michael: ...
Lindsay: You've had $80 000 worth of cartography lessons. Get us a channel to the ocean!
Buster: Okay. Okay. Okay. Obviously, this blue part here is land. That would mean... [faints]
Lucille Bluth: Oh, please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends.
George, Sr.: Yeah, you know what's risky? Letting your son go on that church thing.
Michael: Well, her name's Ann, Dad. And he's not going on her, okay? They're just friends.
Tobias: What an adventure gang! I thought that the homosexuals were pirates but it turns out most of them were actors in the local theater. [laughs] Your right, it was amazing though. I've been waiting for the universe to provide a path for me and I think it has!
Lindsay: Your gay.
Tobias: No. No. I'm not- I'm not gay. No. Lindsay, how many times must we have this- No. I want to be an actor.
Michael: I Quit.
George Sr.: Probably a good career move.
George Sr.: [whispering] They cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime. [winks]
Michael: Yeah, I don't think that's true Dad.
George Sr.: Really? I've got the worst [Beeping] attorneys.
Michael: [To George Michael about Maeby] You stay on top of her buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard.
Lucille: Then why don't you marry an Ice Cream Sandwich?!
Lucille: He's your older brother. You could find a little job for him. Make him feel special.
Michael: But he's not special.
Lucille: No.
G.O.B: This is gonna blow your mind. Some say wealth is an illusion. Well, let's just see. For one moment, it's here and in the next... Monopoly! You don't have it, do you?
George Michael: Yeah, I think I might
G.O.B: That's good because a lot of pieces are missing. Oh to play Monopoly with my family again. I'd give anything to be eight.
George Michael: I'm 13.
G.O.B: No, I wsn't crazy about 13. The acne, self-consciouness, the erections. You okay?
George Michael: ...
Lindsay: You've had $80 000 worth of cartography lessons. Get us a channel to the ocean!
Buster: Okay. Okay. Okay. Obviously, this blue part here is land. That would mean... [faints]
Lucille Bluth: Oh, please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends.
George, Sr.: Yeah, you know what's risky? Letting your son go on that church thing.
Michael: Well, her name's Ann, Dad. And he's not going on her, okay? They're just friends.
drummergurll
Police Officer
Sara: I have a problem with authority, I choose men who are emotionally unavailable, I'm self destructive, all of the above.
don't know why i like this quote so much....i use to say it to my mom all the time....
don't know why i like this quote so much....i use to say it to my mom all the time....
SaraSidleStokes
Captain
I dont think I"ve posted this (nor have I seen it posted anywhere in here)
FRIENDS
Rachel: *running into the room* Guess what Guess What Guess What
Chandler: the Fifth Dentist caved and now thier all recommending Trident
FRIENDS
Rachel: *running into the room* Guess what Guess What Guess What
Chandler: the Fifth Dentist caved and now thier all recommending Trident
csikicksurass
Captain
:lol: that hilarious
i juts remembered a bunch
the simpsons
homers relitive: "i jump in front of cars and sue the driver" (my future job)
homers relitive: "i shoot birds at the air port"
homer "wow... nobody likes birds right"
homer: "you look pretty safisticated what do you do"
homers relitive: "i play the billionare at parties...or at least id like to"
homer: "stupid money munching war widdows"
granpa: "your always blaming me for everything, who put the slippers in the dishwasher, who through the cane at the tv"
homer: "the dolls trying to kill me and the toasters been laughing at me"
granpa giving advice to young homer: "homer your as dumb as a muel and twice as ugly if a stranger offers you a ride i sat take it"
homer drunk with cotton candy all over him: "look at me im a pink puffy cload"
sideshow bob kidnapped everyone but bart and tied them up
lisa looked over at homer and he's out: "oh my god dad's been drugged"
marge: "no he hasn't"
they cought ssb
bart "take him away boys"
wiggim "hey thats my line, bake him away toys"
lou "what you say chief"
wiggim "just do what the kid says"
i juts remembered a bunch
the simpsons
homers relitive: "i jump in front of cars and sue the driver" (my future job)
homers relitive: "i shoot birds at the air port"
homer "wow... nobody likes birds right"
homer: "you look pretty safisticated what do you do"
homers relitive: "i play the billionare at parties...or at least id like to"
homer: "stupid money munching war widdows"
granpa: "your always blaming me for everything, who put the slippers in the dishwasher, who through the cane at the tv"
homer: "the dolls trying to kill me and the toasters been laughing at me"
granpa giving advice to young homer: "homer your as dumb as a muel and twice as ugly if a stranger offers you a ride i sat take it"
homer drunk with cotton candy all over him: "look at me im a pink puffy cload"
sideshow bob kidnapped everyone but bart and tied them up
lisa looked over at homer and he's out: "oh my god dad's been drugged"
marge: "no he hasn't"
they cought ssb
bart "take him away boys"
wiggim "hey thats my line, bake him away toys"
lou "what you say chief"
wiggim "just do what the kid says"
SaraSidleStokes
Captain
*laughs* I know CKA (sorry I didnt feel like typing out your whole name) I love that Chandler line I use that everytime My Friends say "Guess what" *smirks* Needless to say they Hate it when I do that
heres another good Friends line
Ross: Pivot, Pivot, Pivot
Chandler: Shut up, Shut Up, SHUT UPPPPPPP"
heres another good Friends line
Ross: Pivot, Pivot, Pivot
Chandler: Shut up, Shut Up, SHUT UPPPPPPP"