Favorite TV Show Quotes

ooohh gotta get some good FRIENDS lines in there
same with Seinfeld, the Simpsons, and King of the Hill
all my favs besides CSI of course :)
 
i got some more

the simpsons (back when it was you know, good)

grampa "oh bitch, bitch, bitch"

maude "the magizine says we should always look inside the house before we buy"
THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE FALLS DOWN WITH LENNY INSIDE EATIONG A CAN OF BEANS
marge "well there it is"
lenny "please dont tell people how i live"

they have a buch of garbage on there lawn
marge "you know that crazy lady who lives in are garbage attacked me again"
homer "thas not how she tells it"
 
I suppose this is not really a quote, more like a song, but it cracks me up!

From The Simpsons:

'Homer, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree.' :lol:
 
:D This one is from a Supernatural episode. One of my favorite episodes.

Sam: "What were you thinking shooting Casper in the face, you freak?"

Dean: "Hey, saved your ass. I'll tell you another thing. If you screwed up my car, I'll kill you."
 
Here's some from Gilmore Girls...

Loreli: Hi, I'm Lorelai Gilmore and this is my daughter...Lorelai Gilmore....


Paris: Fine, if you guys wanna sit around for an hour after school swapping makeover horror stories, then count me in. Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I plucked outside of my designated brow line? Man, was my face red.
Madline: I've done that, too. Ooh, it's bad.
Louise: She was being sarcastic.
Madline: Well, I wasn't. I looked surprised for a month.


Lorelai: What happened? The reception on the phone sucked. All I heard was "Rory" and "Chilton" and "Get down here." Whose butt do I have to kick?
Rory: We didn't go to breakfast.
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Rory: We came here. They broke into the headmaster's office as the big initiation.
Lorelai: Ugh, those stupid girls.
Rory: Uh huh. Part of the initiation was ringing a bell. So, that's what I was doing when security showed up and they called you.
Lorelai: That's what you got busted for? That's it? Bell-ringing?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Were you at least smoking a Cuban cigar while you were doing it?
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: No, I mean, "bad girl, how many times have I told you not to ring bells?"
Rory: Let's go.
Lorelai: "They can dent, or scratch, and they make dogs go crazy. Who do you think you are, the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Are you French? Circular? I don't think so."
Rory: I'm walking to the car now.
Lorelai: Was it a big bell at least?
 
if we're doing Tv show song qoutes as well heres some Great Phoebe ones
"Smelly Cat, smelly cat what are they feeding you smelly Cat Smelly Cat its not your fault,they wont take you to the vet,you're obviously not thier favorite pet, you may not smell like a bed of roses and you're no friend to those with noses Smelly cat,smelly cat what are they feeding you,smelly cat smelly cat its not your fault"
and "New york city has no power and the Milk is getting soar but to me it is not scary cause I stay away from diary"

ALSO from Friends
(I may not get the exact qoutes so forgive me)
Joey: hey You ate the last scone
Rachel: I"m sorry will You Marry me
Phoebe: *to Rachel* I was going to ask you to marry me because I forgot to call you back last week
Chandler: ha ha funny How long is this going to last
Monica: well its all directly related to how insane you were so For a long time
Ross: hey Rachel remember that whole we were on a break thing Well I'm sorry will You Marry me
the rest of the Friends Cast: thats not Funny *they all get up and leave*
 
the venture brothers

dean "i know why the plane crashed, it was being drivin by skeletons"

brock "you ok"
hank "no, because you snapped at me"

dean "spit is natures glue"
hank "and fruit is natures candy"

dr ven "it's like walking in a giant fat kid"
 
^ Oh... the Venture Bros. So classic...

A few more Arrested Development

Michael: Lindsay, I can tell that it’s real. It’s like that feeling that you read about twins having.
Lindsay: We’re twins. You didn’t give me access to the banking.
Michael: No, you’d just, you’d go out and you’d just whore it up, Lindsay, you know? Now she’s different. She’s a little bit more like me. It’s like we finish each other’s...
Lindsay: Sandwiches?
Michael: Sentences. Why would I say...?
Lindsay: Sandwiches?
Michael: That time I was going to say sandwiches.

George Michael: OCD? No, I’m just cleaning up after Aunt Lindsay. She never turns things off.
Michael: Well... Guess that explains why I saw the hedge trimmer zipping around the drive way. I did it again, didn’t I? I’m so self-centered. From now on, I want you to just tell me what’s on your mind, okay? And I promise I won’t just hear what I want to hear.
George Michael: I love my cousin.
Michael: Love you, too, pal.

Tobias: I think he may have developed what we in the soft sciences refer to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Or the O.C. disorder.
Michael: Don’t call it that.

Michael: I-I’m not interested in you that way.
Tobias: What way?
Michael: Pick one.

Lindsay: Yeah, check it out. I found that canned ham that we’d had forever, and I put it in a pot of boiling water, and guess what I’m calling it?
Michael: Soup?
Lindsay: Hot ham water

GOB's Wife: I’m in love with your brother-in-law.
G.O.B.: You’re in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
GOB's Wife: No, your sister’s husband.
G.O.B.: Michael? Michael!
GOB's Wife: No, that’s your sister’s brother.
G.O.B.: No, I’m my sister’s brother. You’re in love with me— me.
GOB's Wife: I’m in love with Tobias.
G.O.B.: My brother-in-law?
GOB's Wife: I know it can never be, so I’m leaving. I’m enlisting in the army.
G.O.B.: To be with your brother.
GOB's Wife.: No!
 
so, no one has quoted Alias yet, so I'll do the honours: Sydney: Write this down. E. M. E. T. I. B. Got it? Now, reverse it.

Vaughn: Let's take things one step at a time. This is a charge of C4. I can tell because there's 'C4' written all over it.

Vaughn: Any questions, so far?
Sydney: Yeah. Can you show me what a bag looks like again?

Sydney: Who am I talking to?
Vaughn: Your invisible friend.
Sydney: Good. Where are you?
Vaughn: Satellite relay station back in L.A., watching you from a 200 mile orbit.
Sydney: My guardian angel.

Sydney: Don't. Touch. The fur. OK, you may touch it... Once.

Vaughn: [Syd and Vaughn are about to approach a source for information] How do you wanna play this?
Sydney: You wanna be rough, or you want me to be rough?
Vaughn: You're always rough.
Sydney: No, I'm not.
Vaughn: Yes, you are.
Sydney: That's not true!
Vaughn: Yes, it is.
Sydney: Are you talking about at home, or on Ops?
Vaughn: Both. Hey, I'm not complaining!
Sydney: If I'm rough, it's because you like me to...
[pauses]
Sydney: Are we on coms?
Agent Jack Bristow: Yes, you're both on coms right now.

[singing his son to sleep]
Agent Marshall Flinkman: Hush... hush... hush little Mitchell, don't you cry. Daddy's here to teach you about Lanthanides. Cerium is first, yes it leads the way. Hexagonal structure and it's iron gray. Praseodymium is next and it looks like brass...

Suit and Glasses: [leaning over Sydney, who is cuffed to a chair] I'd rather not make this too painful.
Sydney: Me too. Thanks. Glad we're on the same page. That's good.

Agent Marshall Flinkman: Syd, this guy buried you alive.
Sydney: Yeah, but he cheated, he hit me with a car first!

Agent Jack Bristow: [Jack and Sydney are sitting in silence] This is the best conversation we've had in weeks.

Kazu Tamazaki: [preparing to torture Sydney] Did you eat breakfast?
Sydney: Why? You wanna grab something?

Francie: "Dear Aunt Stephanie. Unfortunately, as my mother has informed you, the wedding is off so I am returning your kind gift of a coffee maker because, as it turns out, the man to whom I was engaged is a deceitful, two-faced, sex-crazed jackass. All my love, Francie."
Sydney: It's not too harsh.

Haladki: I think your judgment is impaired.
Vaughn: I think I'm going to kick your ass.

McKenas Cole: I am now standing in Sloan's... tastefully minimalistic office.

Sark: Good luck.
Sydney: I don't need luck from you, you son of a bitch.
Sark: Wonderful attitude.

Sydney: Some people go miniature golfing with their parents. We go to India to look for nukes.

Sydney: You've lost weight.
Agent Eric Weiss: Yeah, I stopped eating all the foods I like. I'm miserable, but I look really good.

[the assassin Sark is introduced as an ally]
Marshall: Hi. Welcome. Don't kill me.

Sydney: What if whatever we're looking for isn't metal?
Agent Jack Bristow: Then we're screwed. Not an unfamiliar situation.
 
Man this thread is old.

Supernatural-"The Benders"

DEAN: Never do that again.

SAM: Do what?

DEAN: Go missin’ like that.

SAM: You were worried about me.

DEAN: All I’m sayin’ is, you vanish like that again, I’m not lookin’ for ya.

SAM: Sure, you won’t.

DEAN: I’m not.

SAM: So, you got sidelined by a thirteen-year-old girl, huh?

DEAN: Oh, shut up.

SAM: Just sayin’, gettin’ rusty there, kiddo.

DEAN: Shut up.
 
Some of my favorites:
Karen: What's that, honey?
Grace: Funnel cake
Karen: Can I have some?
Grace: Yeah, the stand is right over there...

Jack: Hey, friends, lovers, mothers and other strangers, you are not going to believe what just happened to me... Oh, my God, did you just see that? I almost did a half nelson, I almost bruised my delicates, my delicates, my domo arigatos, Mr tomatoes. Huge News! I have met, are you ready for this, Mr Right, well, Mr Right Now. Good night, folks, I'm here all week, Jack 2000. He works at the Jumpin Java - you know, the coffee shop on seventy second and his name is Paul and he is cute with a capital Q! And the busier it gets, the hotter he gets, and the hotter he gets the sweatier he gets, and the sweatier he gets... I forgot where I'm goin with this, but the main point is me likey he and he likey me and the best part of schezam, he gives me free iced coffee every time I go in which is every hour on the hour, good nights, and occasionally on the half hour. Ba ba ba ba ba

Jack: So we need to get them back together, but how? Pretend to think, pretend to think.
Karen: Pretend to care, pretend to care.
Jack: Oh, I've got it. What we need is a plan. Some way to get them in the same room together.
Karen: Oh honey, that's genius, write that down. Oh, wait, not on that, that's for Will and Grace, that's an invitation to Joe and Larry's kid's birthday party.
Jack: Oh yeah, I got one of these too. Anyway, enough about that. We have to figure out a way to get them in the same room so they can work it out. But how? Ow, I just got a paper cut on this party invitation for Will and Grace.
Karen: Focus. We're trying to get them in the same room together. Forget about this party they're both invited to. Now, what do they both like?
Jack: Well, Will likes to be taller than everyone, and Grace likes to eat cake.
Karen: Where can we take them where there'll be small people eating cake?
Karen: Oh, shoot, I just spilled on this invitation to a child's birthday party.
Karen: Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Jack: I don't know, are you thinking what it would be like to have Spiderman spray his web on you?
Karen: Okay that's just freaky.

Grace: Okay, here we go... that's weird. Will, what do you think is wrong?
Karen: Oh, my God. She just asked a Fairy an engine question. We're all gonna die in this car.

Greg: What did you do to me?
Grissom: You had a reaction.
Greg: I'm Hazmat meat. Quarantine, here I come.
Grissom: Your right foot, I swabbed with a placebo, regular tap water.
Greg: Yeah, well, I'm not worried about the right foot.
Grissom: Left foot...eumycotic dermatitis.
Greg: Oh, great. It's probably fatal.
Grissom: It's a mildew-induced skin rash.
Greg: You infected me with mildew?
Grissom: Here. Hydrocortisone. Follow the directions, clear it right up.
 
ER

Carter: OK guys, this party is over.
Lucy: Was the music too loud?
Carter: No, the furniture was too on fire.


Susan: Students wanna be residents... residents wanna be attendings...
Carter: And attendings just wanna be left alone.


Chen: Luka's sleeping.
Susan: With who?
 
Charmed Quotes

Piper: I'm being stalked by psycho killers and I hide in the shower

Demon: I think you've got something up your sleeves!
Phoebe: (looks at her's, piper's, and prue's shirts) Hello, Sleeveless!

Leo: Piper, he's gonna kill me when he finds out.
Piper: Don't be ridiculous, you're already dead.

Piper: We went, We saw, We didn't quite conquer


I love Charmed....too bad it got cancelled
 
Grissom: "Fork lift anything bigger than Greg."

Guy Warrick and Grissom are talking to in a casino: "Whatever rubs your Buddha."
 
I don't remember the quote exactly, but here it goes:

Buffy: Do we have to listen to you talk just because you like the sound of your own voice?
 
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