CSI:NY - "The Younger Generation"

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When Michael arrived at home he found Anya on the couch drinking coffee with her sister.

"Michael, you're home. Where's the kids?"

"They are at mom and dads. How are you feeling now Anya?"

"A little better. Still shaking a little. But I feel different. Almost like my thoughts come, but then they disappear and I forget what I was thinking of."

"That's normal Anya. It's the medication Dr.Robbets put you on. It suppresses your haunting memories of your attack."

"What?? How am I supposed to heal then? How can I learn to deal with it if I can't remember it. Take me off it. I don't want it Michael."

"Listen Anya. You need it. It doesn't stop you from thinking about it, it just stops the anger and rage you feel when the attack hits. It helps you be able to control the fear you feel."

"I said I don't like it Michael. I'm not taking it. I'd rather die first."

"Don't talk like that Anya. Stop that now."

"Go to hell Nat. Go home to your perfect life, and family. Get out."

Getting up she stormed out of the room. Resting his head between his hands, he rubbed his face.

"I'm sorry Natalia. I don't know how much more of this I can handle. We are supposed to go over to mom and dads tonight and talk about in home nursing care for Anya and for MJ. How am I supposed to get her over there like that? She's going to upset the whole house, then what? God I'm so confused. Everything is screwed up."

Getting up Nat held Michael in her arms. She wasn't sure what she could do to help ease the pain that the Taylor family was feeling.

"When was her last medication Nat?"

"Three and half hours ago. She's due again at six."

"Okay, that expalins why she's angry it's wearing off. Thanks for watching her. Dr.Robbets seems to think we all need counciling together as a family to help her through this. She said for the first few sessions it will be one on one, and then when Anya is ready we will move onto group sessions. That's when the family has to be there. I also think I'm going to take Caroline and Tyler with us on Thursday. They need to have more understanding with what their mother is going through."

"That makes sense Michael. Including them is a great idea. It will help them cope and understand what PTSD stands for."

"Yeah I know. I know. I just hope they come home soon. I miss my kids, I miss us being a family. This is so unfair. First Michael Jr and now Anya. The stress I've put on my mom and dad with MJ. God Nat everything is just so messed up, and I'm so tired. so tired that I don't know how much longer I can pretend that we will all be okay."

"Listen Michael if you need me to stay just say the word. Danny will understand."

"I know he will. I need to give Anya her next medication I'll be right back."

Heading out into the hall Michael noticed the vial was empty.

"Anya!!!! Anya where are you?"

"What's going on Michael."

"The pill vial is empty. Where is she?"

Running upstairs they found Anya sitting on the floor infront of the toilet.

"What did you do Anya? Where are the pills?"

"In the toilet Michael. I flushed them. So get out. Just... get... the... hell.... out..."


"Watch her Nat. I'll be right back."

Picking up the phone Michael called Anya's doctor.

"Dr.Robbets office."

"Hi. This is Michael Taylor calling. I need to speak with Dr. Robbets it's an emergency."

"Just a minute Mr.Taylor."

"Michael?? It's Dr.Robbets. What seems to be the problem?"

"Anya flushed her medication. She refuses to take it. She's very angry. I'm not sure what to do now. She's very agitated."

"Okay Michael. I need you to bring her in. Do you think you can get her here?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't."

"Give me ten minutes Michael. I'll come by and hopefully we can talk a bit. I can help her understand why it's important for her to take the medication. You also need to remember she was given a relaxer when she was here. So most of our conversation would have been forgotten. Don't worry Michael. We'll get everything back on track. This is noraml. We talked about her having ups and downs. This is one of the downs. Once she understands why she needs it, she'll be more understanding to it"

"I hope you're right Doctor because we are all falling apart here."

"I know Michael. Just hold on okay. I'll see you soon."
 
Wow, i know i keep saying its great but it is, i love the detail and it makes it more real, it'll be good to see what the doc does :)
 
Hanging up the phone Michael called his mom and dad to let them know they would be late. After explaining to them why, he went back into the washroom.

"Anya. I need you to listen to me love. You're Pschologist is on her way over. We are going to talk about why this medication is important for you. This is going to help you understand."

"So you're not mad at me for flushing it?"

"Listen sweetheart. We can always get you more. Why don't you let me help you to the couch. Dr.Robbets should be here shortly."

"If it's okay Michael, I'd like to stay too."

"Of course Nat. I have no problem with that. Do you Anya?"

"No. I'm sorry for what I said earlier Nat. I didn't mean to hurt you or your family."

"I know sis. Let's just work on getting better, okay?"

Michael wasn't sure how long it would be before another episode hit. He only hoped it would happen once Dr.Robbet was here, so she could control it.

*Knock, knock*

"Hi Dr.Robbets come on in. We're in the living room. Would you like a coffee?"

"No I'm fine Michael. But thank you. Why don't you call me Susan. It will help Anya feel more comfortable if we drop the doctor part."

"Okay Susan. Thanks."

Walking into the living room, she found Anya sitting with her sister.

"Hi Anya. Is this your sister?"

"Mhmm..her name is Natalia. But I call her Nat."

"Hi Nat. Nice to meet you. You can call me susan."

"Hi Susan nice to meet you."

"Anya. Can you explain to me what upset you enough to have you throw out your medication?"

"I threw it down the toilet because Michael told me it was suppressing my memories of what happened. So I told him I didn't want to take it. You are supposed to be helping me, not making me forget. How can I heal if I can't remember. I thought I was supposed to be included in the session."

"First off Anya. You are included. You have been from the begining. I want you to think back. Back to when you were in my office. Tell me what you remember about that."

"Umm..I'm not sure. I remember Gavin not being allowed in my safe haven. That you said I was safe there, he couldn't harm me there."

"That's right. I also told you about the therapy I would be starting you on. Though you may not remember due to me having to give you a relaxer to calm you down. That medication I gave you was to help control your memories, to help you be able to cope and deal with the trauma when it hit."

"But it can't help if I can't remember."

"Anya you do remember. It doesn't stop your memory. It blocks the violent tendencies that you feel when the trauma hits you. It helps you deal with it rationally by stopping you from lashing out at others and hurting them."

"But I don't understand how that can make me better."

"Anya the medication combined with your therapy is what will help you control the outbursts. I've started you on what is called CBT, otherwise known as cognitive and behavior therapies, In this type of therapy you are actively involved in your own recovery. To give you a sense of control, and learns skills that are useful throughout life.We will help you focus on identifying, understanding, and modifying your thinking and behavior . Once we help you control these changes of thinking and behavior, your emotional changes will follow. With CBT it teaches you skills for handling your anxiety when needed. All this along with the medication I provide you will eventually help you lead a normal life again. Something I'm sure you would like to have, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah that would be nice to be able to have my family, and my life back. I'm sorry I threw it out. I just didn't understand what was happening."

"I know. For that I must apologize. That was my mistake, for not reminding Michael that you may have forgotten our session. See this is how we all learn to deal Anya. As we go along more mistakes will most likely be made as no one is perfect. There is no such thing as perfection even for Physcians. Especially with treatments. It will take a while to find the right one for your trauma. But working together on where we go wrong is the key to helping us help you cope and accept what happened to you."

Anya could feel herself begin to understand a little better.

"I'll take the medication. Once again I'm sorry for throwing it out."

"I know. It's okay. I'd also like you to remember that you can call my office anytime, and they will contact me with any concerns you have. I will be honest with you Anya. We have a very long healing road ahead of us. There will be lots more downs before we find an equal balance for you."

Nodding that she understood with tears in her eyes Michael held her.

"If it's okay Anya I'd like to give you your next dose of medication. This will hold you till Michael can refill your script, okay?"

Once they Anya relaxed and calmed down Susan asked....

"Michael by chance did you have a chance to talk with your parents concerning MJ?"

"I did. Also with his therapist. She feels it's too soon for my son. I should have mentioned that while he was in a coma he suffered a stroke. a severe one. One that left him paralized on the right side. We almost lost him several times when his heart stopped. It was touch and go for months before he woke."

"Oh Michael. I'm so sorry for you and your family. I can most definetly understand why this would bring out Anya's PTSD. How is your mother and father coping with having MJ in their care?"

"Not to good. They are stressed too. I used to think we were the strongest family around. We could handle anything, deal with what life dealt us. But now. Now we know we're not. Now we are finally able to admit that life has become to much for us to handle alone as a family.My son is going to require round the clock nursing care to help alleviate the pressure on them. It's not easy Susan, at times I feel so useless, like I'm in the shadows of it all while it goes on all around me. I guess I don't know how to cope or understand what my wife and child need. God at times I feel like I'm a horrible husband and father."

Watching Michael cry and tell his feelings broke not only Nat's heart but Susan's too. Never had she seen or heard of such strong bonding like the Taylor's had. Thinking they were all so strong and capable of handling what life tossed them. Yet deep down they were normal just like the rest of the human population.
 
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Thanks for the FB guys.
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Back at the Taylor's Mac was getting MJ ready for bed. Picking him up in his arms, he carried him upstairs.

"Aaaapa, Iiiii's ooo....orry."

"Sorry for what MJ? You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I's t...t..tou...b..ble."

"No your not MJ. Don't you ever think that. Papa loves you, and together as a family we will get you better son. Before you know it we will have you walking again."

Laying him on the bed he changed him into his pj's.

"Which way would you like to lay tonight son? On your back, or your left side?"

Shrugging his shoulders Mac knew he was upset.

"How about your side for now. Then papa will come back later and put you on your back."

Laying MJ on his side he placed four pillows behind his back to keep him on his side.

"Are you comfortable son?"

"Ess a...apaa."

Kissing him on his head he left his room.

"Papa what time is dad coming tonight?"

"He's not Caroline. Your mom had another episode. So we are having the family meeting tomorrow."

"I really wanted to see daddy. I miss him."

"I know you do. Has your dad talked to you and Tyler about Thursday yet?"

"Yes. He says we have to go with him and mom to her appointment so we can understand what she has."

"That's right. It will be good for all of you. Trust me Caroline it will help you and Tyler be able to deal with your moms episodes."

"I don't see why we should have too. MJ doesn't. How come we have to? It's not fair that he gets out of everything."

"He's not getting out of anything Caroline. Your brother can't understand right now what is wrong with his mother, or what she's dealing with. The only thing he remembers is her hurtful words."

"I don't care papa. It's still not fair. I don't need councilling. This is stupid. Dad has no right to pull me into this. Anya isn't my real mom."

"I want you to listen to me young lady. She is your mother. She spent her years raising you. Bringing you up to be happy and healthy. The least you can do is give her something back. Help her through this. Together as a family you and your brothers can have back everything that's been lost."

"Maybe we don't want it back papa. Maybe I don't want any of it back. Did you ever think of that."

Running to her room she slammed the door. Sighing deep Mac collapsed on the ground with his head between his knees.

"Daddy?? Daddy do you need a hug?"

Looking up at his daughter with tired eyes, he pulled her onto his lap. Cuddling himself into her neck he softly sobbed. Caressing his hair Michelle kept whispering over and over....

"It's okay dad. I promise it will be okay. You just let it out daddy. I have you. I won't let go."

Squeezing his daughter closer Stella watched from the stairs. God she was so tired. She could feel the pressure building. It had been weeks since her and Mac had any time together as husband and wife.

*Ring,ring*

"Hello."

"Hey mom. How's everything going over there?"

"Not good Mackenzie. What is it?"

"I'm sorry mom. Maybe I should call back. You don't seem to want to talk."

"I'm sorry Mac. I'm just so tired, and worn down. What did you need?"

"I didn't need anything. I just wanted to make sure you and dad were doing okay. I was concerned after Michael informed me of MJ's episode today."

"It was nothing sweetie. Don't worry about it. How's Eric doing?"

"He's good. He sleeps through the night. We were going to come over tomorrow. Michael said he would like us there for the family meeting. You know. The one you didn't include us in on."

"I'm sorry Mackenzie. It wasn't done on purpose to hurt you, or leave you out. I thought it best with you having the new baby that it would be to much stress on a you and Eric."

"Don't you think that should be our decision to make mom? We are family. Family helps family does it not?"

Stella was to tired to play the victim game tonight.

"Listen love. I have to go. Dad needs me. You have a good night and I guess we'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Night mom. I love you."

"I love you to sweetheart. Night."

Hanging up the phone Stella turned out the light and headed up to bed. Walking into her room she found Michelle wrapped up with her daddy sound asleep. Stripping herself of her clothes. She put on her nightgown and climbed in beside them. As she turned on her side, Mac pulled her into his arms. Protectively wrapping the three of them together.

"We're going to get through this Stel. One step at a time."

"I know Mac. I love you."

"I love you to. Night."
 
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Later that night Mac went into MJ's room to change his position. As he removed the pillows he laid him flat out without waking him. Replacing he pillows under his left arm, and under his leg he covered him back up and left the room.

Entering the hall he seen his beautiful wife standing their in her gown. God he could barely think a coherant thought. The only thing he could think of, was that he needed to touch her, they needed to touch each other before the moment disappeared into a new day.

Nearing her side he picked her up in his arms and carried her downstairs. Pulling the blanket of the couch he spread it out. Reaching for her hand she could barely move. Her whole body was burning in endless passion and they hadn't even touched each other yet.

God it had been to long. All the nerves, the desires, the needs and wants came flooding back. Laying her down he caressed his fingertips across her beautiful skin, leaving her floating in an aura of tenderness and love.

"Maaaaaaaac...."she sobbed out as her soul poured out onto his.

"I know love. Let it happen. Just let it go love. I'm right here to catch you, I won't let you fall off the edge of our love alone. I promise I'll be right there with you."

So lost in each touch, each stroke that they could no longer wait. climbing upon her, he merged their souls, taking them both into their world of passion that had been long forgotten over the weeks. Wrapping her fingers within his they both kissed in sensual heat. Tongue against tongue until they both released into the night.

With the night fading away Mac picked her up in his arms and carried her back upstairs. Placing her back in between their daughter. Then climbing in beside them, he wrapped them all securely togetherfor the second time that night.

Over at the Delko's Mackenzie couldn't sleep. It was four in the morning and Eric still wasn't home yet. Trying his cell again she got no response. Leaving another message she became really worried that something may have happened to him.

Calling Danny she woke him.

"Messer."

"Danny it's Macknezie. By chance have you heard from Eric tonight at all?"

"Yeah. I talked to him an hour ago. He and Don are still on that stake out. From what I was told there would be no radio contact till the perp was caught. Why? Is something wrong Mac?"

"No. I was just worried. He usually calls when he's going to be late."

"I'm sure he'll call when he has time Mac. Try and get some rest okay. If I hear from him first I'll call you."

"Thanks Danny."

"You're welcome. Now get some rest."

Hanging up the phone Mackenzie headed back to bed.

Meanwhile Anya woke shivering.

"Anya, are you okay sweetheart? You're shivering."

"He's coming Michael. He's here. I can smell him. I can smell the chemicals."

Looking at the clock he realized the alarm didn't go off for her next dosage of medication.

"Hold on sweetheart. I'll get you your meds."

Grabbing up a glass of water he passed her the pills, watching as she swallowed them down.

"I'm scared Michael. So cold and scared."

"I know Anya. But it's okay love. You didn't freak out this time. You were able to realize the memory was returning. You were able to tell me without screaming, or throwing things. This is a great start Anya. It shows us that the medication is working for you."

"He's still here Michael. I can still smell him. He's in the room."

"No love. I swear to you he's not here. Trust me Anya I have you wrapped so tightly no one can get to you. I promise you're safe. Just trust in that Anya."

Pulling her closer Michael kissed her with all the passion inside him. Hoping with each stroke of his tongue he could take her far away from the memory that was haunting her. Taking her deeper, she soon felt herself become filled with need to be loved, to be touched by her husbands soul that had been locked within her pain. Until all her hurt had disappeared. Leaving behind a new day that would soon be filled with endless hurtful words from their daughter.
 
The following morning Michael showed up with Anya to pick up Caroline and Tyler.

"Caroline, Tyler let's go. Mom and dad are here."

Running down the stairs Tyler hugged his dad, then his mom.

"I miss you mommy. You all better now?"

"Not yet Tyler. But mommy's trying."

"Caroline....now!!!"

Stomping down the stairs she stared at her parents with hate.

"Don't you have anything to say to us Caroline?"

"No. What would you like me to say?"

Storming out to the car, she got in and slammed the door.

"Has she been like this all night dad?"

"She has son. She has alot of pain in her. As I told you before Michael. This whole family is on edge. Good luck and I'll see you when you get back."

"Michael why does it feel like they're blaming me?"

"They're not Anya. It's just everyone under alot of stress. Don't think like that."

Getting into the car Michael strapped Tyler in his belt. Nothing but silence could be heard throughout the car. Pulling into the lot, they followed their parents inside.

"Morning Michael and Anya. Just have a seat the doctor will be with you shortly."

"Thanks. So how's everything going at papa's kids?"

"Do you really care dad? Or are you just asking to fill in the silence between us?"

"What is wrong with you Caroline. Where is all this anger coming from?"

"Anger??? What anger dad. I'm talking normally. I'm being honest. Since when do you care? Cause if you really did you would find time to spend with us no matter how sick Anya is."

"Her name is mom Caroline. Why are you doing this?"

"She's not my mom. Never was dad. She's Tyler's mom. MJ and I are just the extra baggage. Right Anya? Be truthful now, I'm sure dad will understand. Then again maybe you would like me to die, like you wanted MJ dead. Would that help make you better?"

Michael was shocked. Never did he realize his daughter had so much hate towards anyone.

"Caroline that's not fair."

"Not fair dad? Let me tell you what's not fair. Anya's fits. Who the hell do you think she yelled at during these tempers. Not you, not MJ, not even Tyler. It was me dad. I was always on the end of her anger. Bet she didn't tell you that, did she dad. Then there was our father daughter day at school. The one we had planned for weeks. Then the night before Anya goes into a rage and has a fit, leaving you to cancel out on it. Noticing a pattern yet dad? No??? How about the night you and I made plans to go to the movies. Just before we are ready to leave she starts. I can't breathe, God Michael he's coming, he's coming. Now you seeing it dad? She doesn't want us. Never did. If she could have us both out of the way I bet you she would heal up real quick, wouldn't you Anya."

Running from the office, Caroline took off up the street.

"I need to find her Anya. Stay here with Tyler."

"Michael??"

"What is it doctor?"

"I heard the whole thing. Chasing her is the worse thing you could do. Let her go home for now. Give her time to think things through."

"Are you insane?? I'm sorry she don't even know this part of the city. I need to call my dad and Eric."

"I'm telling you Michael that's what she wants. Don't do it."

Picking up his cell he called Eric.

"Delko."

"Eric it's Michael. I need you to find Caroline she's run away from the Clinic. Please Eric, she don't know this end of Miami."

"Calm down Michael, I'll have Officers and myself search the area. Just stay calm, we'll find her."

"I'm sorry Dr.Robbets I have to go. Please keep Anya and Tyler here. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Running from the Clinic Michael followed North hoping to run into his daughter before trouble found her.
 
The doctor wanted him to leave an upset child alone in an unfamiliar part of the city? How old is Caroline again?

Good chapters. :) Nice love scenes, by the way (with Mac/Stella and then Michael/Anya). Love the way you worded those scenes. :)
 
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