CSI:NY- Love, Loss and Life

**Chap5**

Danny woke up the next morning in a daze he wasn’t really sure if he had been dreaming but as he rolled over on to the cold sheets, it all came flooding back. He didn’t want to get up but knew that if he didn’t get out from under the covers soon, he never would!

The night before he hadn’t even thought about making sure everything was ready for Lindsay. He knew that Flack and Stella would have done anything but he just wanted to make sure.

He got up and walked towards the closet. Momentarily pausing to look at his wife’s, he shook himself and his favourite shirt and a pair of jeans. He left his bedroom and walked across the hall towards the nursery that had been decorated for the past month. He noticed that the many boxes that had been in the room were no longer there but the contents had been placed around the room. The cupboard was full of Nappies and clothes for Lindsay.

He headed to the kitchen to put on the coffee machine and as he turned the corner he noticed that the counter was full of milk powder and bottles. He let out a deep breath that he hadn’t noticed that he was keeping in, ‘Looks like I’ll be busy!’

An hour later Danny looked at his watch, 10am, he had checked the apartment over many times to make sure he had everything he needed. He had even had time to move the cradle in to his room. The truth was he couldn’t wait any longer to get his daughter home. There had been no words exchanged between Mac and Danny but he just knew that Mac was giving him as much time off as he needed to care of his daughter.

He grabbed his keys, wallet and carseat and left the apartment.
 
**Chap6**

He jumped out of his car and practically ran up to maternity.

‘Good Morning Mr Messer.’ One of the nurses greeted him as neared the place of his daughter, ‘Come to take your little Angel home?’

‘I have,’ he grinned proudly as he opened the door where a nurse was getting Lindsay ready to leave.

‘Oh hello Sir I see you brought the car seat’ the nurse said indicating towards the object that Danny was carrying, ‘Do you want me to put Lindsay in it?’

‘Erm, no it’s ok I can do it don't worry’ He said as the woman handed Lindsay to him.



30 minutes later the nurses had finished informing Danny of every extra little thing that he needed to do and remember. It then took him another 10 minutes to make the nurses let him leave with such a beautiful child!

‘Ok sweetie, let’s get you home.’ He said as he made sure that the car seat was fitted securely.

As he was half way home he looked in the rear view mirror for the hundredth time and noticed that Lindsay was now asleep. He was that child’s father and the thought put an enormous grin on his face- the first one in 24 hours. He was so glad that this child was a part of his life and he couldn’t wait to get home where his mum was going to visit and see her first grandchild!

Louie had never had children before the coma and with Danny having that ‘player’ status Angie Messer had doubted that she’d ever have a grandchild. But then life changed after Louie woke up he gave up with the whole dugs, guns and Tanglewood and tried to build up his life. He had got a job at an office and was well respected at the work place and now had his own fiancé. Who he had proposed to two months previous the woman’s name was Lucy and Danny loved her like his own sister and Louie; well Louie had fallen for her nearly as bad as Danny had for Lindsay.

He had now arrived back at his apartment’s car park and tried to shake off the lonely feeling that was already growing inside of him. He got out and opened the door, ‘Hello sweetie, we are home.’

He opened his apartment and headed for the couch. He thought about putting Lindsay in her cradle but he wanted to spend time with her. So he took her out of her car seat and lay on his side on the sofa. He positioned Lindsay so she was lying beside him on the sofa while he propped his head up with his fist and looked down at the small and fragile child that was still asleep.

Yesterday he had noticed how much she looked like her mother. She was as beautiful as his wife and Danny loved the fact that Lindsay would never be forgotten and that their daughter would hopefully grow up to resemble Lindsay Monroe Messer. However he hated the fact every time that he looked at her daughter he saw his wife.

A buzzer awoke him from his daydream and he got up with Lindsay in his arms to greet his guests,

‘Yeh?’

‘Oi Danny buzz us up it’s cold out here!’

‘Calm down bro,’ Danny chuckled as he buzzed up his family. Two minutes later he opened the door to face his mother, Louie and his fiancée Lucy.

‘Ma, good to see ‘ya come in! Where’s pa?’

‘Your father is on his way but never mind the chit chat dear! I want to have a proper look at my grandchild,’ both Danny and Louie laughed, ‘Come on hand her over!’

Danny of course passed his daughter over to his mother and then went to greet the others,

‘Good to see ‘ya Luc,’ He said as he kissed her on the cheek and then turned to face his brother.

‘Hey Lou, I didn’t think you two were coming,’ He said as he pulled his brother into a hug.

‘Yeh well, did you think I was going to leave it any longer to come and see you and my little niece!’

Lucy headed over to Angie to get a better look at Lindsay and Louie turned to focus all his attention on his brother, ‘Are you ok man? How are you coping?’ Louie said putting his hand on Danny’s shoulder?’

Danny took a deep breath, ‘As well I can man! I mean I miss her already but I have got someone else to occupy me at the moment. To be honest I’m trying not to think about her.’

‘So that’s why you keep moving your wedding ring around each time you talk? Because you aren’t thinking about her?’ Louie raised his eyebrows, 'Of course your thinking about her!'

Danny gave him a weak smile, ‘Danny I know you don’t really want to talk about it yet and I know you might think it’s too soon but well,’ Louie took a deep breath, ‘I think you should start thinking about planning erm Linds’ funeral!’

Danny’s head shot up, ‘I’m not saying right at this current moment but you can’t leave it too long, you know that right.’

Danny started twiddling with is ring again, ‘Yeh I know! I spoke to Lindsay's Mum and Dad last night and they are getting a flight to the city. I mentioned the matter to them’ he couldn’t bring himself to say ‘her funeral!’

‘I offered to arrange for a burial all the way back in Montana somewhere near her friends that were killed.’ Louie nodded, ‘but they said that may have been her wish before she moved to New York but after only a few months of living here Lindsay already considered this her home and this is where she’d want to be!’

‘They were right!’ Louie said,

Danny nodded in agreement, ‘I don’t really know why I offered but anyway when they get back I’ll arrange it with them and I want you and Mac to help. While in the city you two were more like her brother and father. She always said she had two families.’ Danny said smiling.

‘Anyway Dan enough of this, let’s get a damn drink and go see that Angel over there, Ma and Luc are getting all the fun!’ The two men grabbed a drink form the kitchen and then joined their family in the living room.
 
Thanks for the FB guys! Like i've said before it amazes me that people like what I write :)

Thanks Nat x

Mel: I agree Louie needs to be there :D
 
**Chap7**- Winter walk and worries

Luckily all Lindsay did was sleep apart from the times she woke up to be fed and changed however even then she never screamed or made a lot of noise. Danny had a feeling that she could feel the saddening aura that hung around her father so she stayed happy to try and cheer him up- well that was Danny’s take on things.

Margaret and Tom were due to land at 10:30am New York Time. It was now 9am and Danny had everything ready for his guests. He had got out new sheets for the guest room made sure that his fridge was full (thanks to Stella and flack). He had also had time to prepare his famous spaghetti bolognaise in between taking care of Lindsay which wasn’t proving difficult at the moment.

He had gotten up at 5am, he couldn’t sleep- but then again who could blame him? He stood in the kitchen looking at the apartment: the floor had been hovered, all the glass had been cleaned, and all the wood had been polished- the whole place was spotless. He washed up his cup from which he had been drinking and headed down the hall towards Lindsay’s room where he had placed her after getting up.

‘Hello sweetie,’ he said as he walked in t the room and went in search of something to dress his little angel in, ‘Wanna go for a walk?’

He found the items he wanted and then reached into the crib and lifted up his daughter and kissed her forehead, ‘Let’s get you changed.’

After putting on the tiny little hat and some mittens that were obviously to big but would keep her warm, Danny picked her up and the went to the living room in search of the push chair. He put on his coat, scarf and grabbed his gloves and headed out the door towards the elevator.

Danny pressed the button for six floors down, the ground floor, ‘Thank God this place has an elevator sweetie!’

He stepped out into the Lobby and nearly bumped in to his neighbour, a 75 year old pensioner, ‘oh I’m sorry Mrs Matthews.’

‘Oh it’s ok young man,’ she smiled at Danny, ‘I heard the news Danny I am so sorry, this world it just too cruel.’ Danny just looked at her and she understood what he felt like- she had felt the same way when her husband had died. ‘Anyway, who have we got here then?’ She said as se leaned forward to stroke her hand over the child’s face.

‘Lindsay Montana Messer, Paula,’ Mrs Matthews closed her eyes briefly as she heard the name that Danny had given her daughter.

‘She’s beautiful Danny, but I must dash the book club’s visiting my place today and I need to bake some cakes.’ Danny smiled at the woman as she took one last glace and Lindsay and stepped in the elevator.

Danny managed to say bye just before the doors closed and once again began to walk to the door. As he walked out the sheer cold hit him and after making sure that the blanket was tightly around Lindsay he walked off down the street.

Danny wasn’t really in control of where he was going his feet were just taking him on the path that he had walked many times. He and Lindsay had just simply gone on walks when ever they were both off from work. Just walked. They had used to be satisfied with being in the company of the other.

As he was walking it began to snow and he realised that it was now the 2nd of December. The last few days had made him completely forget about all the preparations that Lindsay had made while she was on maternity leave. He thought about the three stockings that she had been fussing over only one week ago she had insisted on getting hers and Danny’s out after going out and buying a small little stocking for their child.

The due date of her pregnancy was the 21st of December and Lindsay had been adamant that she and her child would have been well enough to spend Christmas at home and use the stockings. This year they were planning on spending the holiday period alone, no parents, no friends, just the couple and their child. They were going to lock the world out and it would be the first time that Danny had spent Christmas away from his family.

As he thought about it, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to change the plans and spend it with his parents but then again he did have somewhere else he could go and he felt that that would be the best option.

He rounded the corner and suddenly noticed that he was back in front of his apartment building and with the time being 10:05am he thought he should just head towards the buildings garage and head for the airport.
 
I'm really glad that you like it guys, this is a fic that I have wanted to do for a while now and it's quite special to me compared to past fics :)
 
**Chap8**- Meet the Monroes

Danny pushed his way through the crowds in JFK airport towards the arrivals gate where Marge and Tom would appear from in a matter of minutes. He had got held up in traffic and at a glance of his watch only just made it!

He bent down beside the push chair, ‘Ok sweetie your Grandma and Granddad are gonna come through the gate in a minute ok? So you’re going to be a good girl for Daddy right?’ He asked obviously not accepting a reply.

He stood back up and looked towards the gate as his mother and father in-law walked through they looked extremely tired after their flight but smiled as Danny waved to get their attention.

Marge grabbed her husband’s hand and pulled her towards Danny when she reached him she wrapped Danny in her arms and pulled him close. She could feel all the tension and emotion that was still there in Danny after what she knew had been a tearful few days.

When she pulled away, call it a mother’s thing, but she could see more clearly the pain in his eyes more than anyone else could and for some reason he knew it.

She looked down at her grand daughter and her eyes welled up but she managed to hide the fact from Danny and continued to look at Lindsay seeing only her daughter in the young child.

Tom Monroe turned to face Danny after watching his wife and seeing Danny play with his wedding band coursed him to pull the young man in a hug, ‘It’s good to see you son,’

Danny didn’t expect to be hugged by Mr Monroe, he’d have never expected such a thing off of the older man but he appreciated the gesture.

‘Danny she’s beautiful you can tell she’s yours and Lindsay’s daughter.’ She said standing up again and going round to push the push chair.

‘Nah, She’s all Montana,’ Danny said as they headed the door. Each member of the party wiping away the tears that were threatening to fall.
 
Oh, another update just before work. Call me hooked :lol:
Natty, I really like how you write off their emotions. I'ts something people really can relate to. ;)
 
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