CSI:Miami Road Trip- We've Travelled a Long Way

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:lol: Well I try. And yes, stupid Trevor! *shakes fist* :p

Face To Face

[Hummerhome]

Speed: *walks over* Are you done with the rat?

Horatio: As done as I can possibly be. This counter is awfully slippery though.

Missy: I hope we're not going to cook on that counter.

Delko: Yeah I don't want to eat rat entrails.

Horatio: Nonsense, the entrails are in the garbage.

Delko: Isn't that a health risk?

Horatio: Well if you stick your face in the garbage can, it could be. *Arm slips* AH!

[Evidence gets knocked over into sink]

Speed: *looks down* ...What was that 'klink' I heard?

Horatio: That was...Nothing.

Speed: *frowns* Horatio...

Horatio: *clicks on flashlight* It seems as though we've lost some evidence to the bowels of the pipes.

Speed: Horatio my wedding ring was in that evidence bag.

Horatio: And now it's down the sink.

Speed: Go get it.

Horatio: You go get it.

Speed: You dropped it.

Horatio: You bought it.

Speed: It's your Hummerhome.

Horatio: It's your fault.

Speed: What? How is this my fault?

Horatio: If it weren't for you killing the hobo, none of this would have happened.

Speed: If it wasn't for that guy breaking in here, none of this would have happened. And I didn't kill him. So crack open that pipe and get my ring back.

Horatio: What do you need the ring for anyway? It's just a piece of gold.

Speed: Yeah well it was expensive.

Horatio: Buy a new one.

Speed: I can't buy a new wedding ring.

Horatio: Buy a new wife.

Speed: I don't want a new wife.

Horatio: How touching.

Speed: *grabs Horatio by the collar* Do you know what she'll do to me if she finds out YOU lost MY ring? I will be down in hell with that homeless man getting jabbed in the rear end with a pitch fork.

Horatio: At least you'll find out who killed our homeless man.

Speed: Open. The. Pipe.

Horatio: I can't just saw through pipes.

Speed: Call a plumber.

Horatio: I don't want to pay a guy with pants hanging down to his ankles 500 dollars an hour to tell me there's a ring down the sink.

Katie: *walks in* What's down the sink?

Speed: HEY! It's nothing. Let's go over here away from the sink.

Katie: Why?

Speed: No reason.

Katie: *squints* Okay what are you not telling me?

Speed: Nothing. I'm not hiding a thing from my darling, beautiful and forgiving wife who does not judge and never EVER gets mad at ANYONE for ANYTHING.

Katie: *crosses arms* What did you do.

Speed: Horatio lost my wedding ring.

Katie: So? You act like it's not even there.

Speed: Uh yeah tell me that the next time you decide to hop in our bed with another man.

Katie: ...Okay so how do we get the ring out?

Speed: Horatio's going to call a plumber.

Horatio: No he's not. I'm not spending that much money.

Speed: Look, I spent a lot of money on that ring so you had better get your cell phone out and make a few calls or I'm going to jam that dead rat up your a-

Katie: Tim, calm down.

Speed: I am calm. I'm a very calm person.

Horatio: *looks over sink* Hey maybe it went down the garborator instead.

Speed: That's even worse.

Horatio: Well at least you'll get it back. It just won't be in ring-form.

Speed: That's reassuring.

Horatio: Okay who has small hands?

Speed: You are not sending someone down the garborator.

Horatio: It's the only way.

Speed: No it's not.

Horatio: Do you have a better idea?

Speed: Yeah. A plumber.

Horatio: Let's call a tow truck.

Speed: What is a tow truck going to do?

Horatio: I don't know, you're the one with all the brilliant ideas.

Katie: Okay let's just go underneath the sink and pry open the pipe. It should fall out right?

Horatio: Good idea. Who wants to do it?

Speed: You lost it, you do it.

Horatio: Fine, hand me my tool kit.

Speed: Fine.

[10 minutes later]

Horatio: It's like it's stuck or something!

Speed: Did you try turning it the other way?

Horatio: ..Yes.

Speed: *sigh*

[Horatio opens pipe, water sprays everywhere]

Horatio: AH! I'M DROWNING!

Speed: Turn off the water!

Delko: *runs, turns off water*

Horatio: *holds up ring* I got it. And it's still intact.

Speed: *grabs ring* Don't touch it ever again.

Horatio: That's still evidence.

Speed: No it's not. *puts on ring*

Horatio: Fine, but you're just incriminating yourself.

TBC...........
 
HAhaha, Oh H man not wanting to calla plummer because he wear his pants around his ankles. lol.

Speed: Nothing. I'm not hiding a thing from my darling, beautiful and forgiving wife who does not judge and never EVER gets mad at ANYONE for ANYTHING.


ahaha, that made me laugh and I chocked on my popcorn. lol. Update soon please.
 
Well I don't want you to die on me. :lol:

Guard Me In Your Truth

[Hummerhome]

Horatio: So I have concluded that our dead man died because someone killed him.

Delko: ...Nice logic.

Horatio: Do you have a better idea?

Calleigh: *walks in* Yeah I have an idea. He died from blunt force trauma, and not a bullet wound.

Horatio: How do you know?

Calleigh: Have you seen how corroded that bullet was? It looks like it's 20 years old. I think the bullet was already inside the homeless man. And the fact that no one here owns a 20-year old .22 caliber gun, makes me think the guy died after Tim escorted him outside.

Horatio: Interesting....

Calleigh: And I know how he died.

Horatio: How?

Calleigh: He was intoxicated. He must have hit his head on the side of the Hummerhome, causing him to fall, thus killing him.

Delko: How do we know no one bashed his head into anything?

Calleigh: There's no physical evidence to support it.

Delko: Speed's wedding ring was found.

Speed: Yeah because he stole it.

Delko: You could be lying.

Calleigh: He's not lying. That fact is, he died because of his drunken stupidity. So let's not look too hard into this. He's dead. Let's move on.

Horatio: How did you even solve this case? You didn't do anything.

Calleigh: I saw the big picture. All you guys were doing was cloistering yourselves inside a little CSI world of paranoia and theories. Think rationally. *leaves*

Speed: Now I know why I married her.

Katie: *slaps Speed*

Speed: Ow.

Delko: So what now? We just keep going?

Horatio: Yup. Everyone hold onto your butts because here we go.

TBC........
 
Horatio: So I have concluded that our dead man died because someone killed him.

Delko: ...Nice logic.
Click to expand...
HAHA, oh Horatio :lol:
well, that was interesting...at least Speedy didn't kill him...well, he still could've but for all intents and purposes, he didnt ;)

and Horatio performing an Autopsy on a rat on the kitchen counter...EW! but that line "I think were going to need a bigger counter" made me laugh :lol:

please update soon
 
"hold onto your butts"? What movie is that from...Jurassic Park? Hm...oh well. ANd yeah i don't want to die either. 17 is to young. lol. And heck yes go Calleigh. She cracked the case.

Speed: Now I know why I married her.

Katie: *slaps Speed*

Speed: Ow.


I don't even know what to say about that, it was just funny to me. lol. Update soon please.
 
Well..You know technically he didn't marry her. They were engaged but hey who am I to mess up storylines.. :lol:

Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

[Hummerhome]

Horatio: Okay where to Calleigh?

Calleigh: Um...Well according to this map, we're just out of Georgia.

Horatio: Interesting.

Calleigh: So I have no idea where we are.

Delko: Let's go to Minnesota. They have the biggest ball of yarn.

Speed: Yeah we would never want to deprive you from your love of knitting.

Delko: I don't knit. I crochet.

Speed: What's the difference?

Delko: When you learn how to crochet, you'll know the difference.

Speed: I'm glad I look like a 70 year old woman to you.

Delko: You look more like...A 34 year old woman.

Speed: ...I'm a 34 year old man.

Delko: Sure you are.

Katie: No it's true, I can vouch for him.

Speed: *looks at Katie*

Katie: What? I was helping you.

Speed: Helping would mean saying nothing.

Katie: Fine, be a woman.

Delko: Hey cool I didn't know there were blinds on these Hummerhomes. *grabs string*

[Blinds fall down]

Speed: That's using your head.

Delko: How was I supposed to know they'd fall?

Horatio: Don't break the blinds.

Delko: AH! the sun! It burns!

Speed: What are you, a vampire?

Delko: No.

Speed: The sun isn't even that bright.

Delko: Well you're not looking directly into it.

Missy: That's not healthy.

Delko: I know, but look how pretty the sun is.

Missy: Stop looking at it.

Delko: *blinks* Wow I didn't know Speed's face was purple.

Speed: Funny.

Katie: Hey maybe that's what he looks like if say, we were all on drugs. Man there are some colors I want to discover for myself.

Delko: What kind of substance would even do that?

Speed: D?

Everyone: *looks at Speed*

Speed: Okay...So no one saw that movie?

Katie: You saw it?

Speed: ..Sure.

Katie: Okay what happens?

Speed: A lot of stuff. Druggies buy drugs, cops arrest druggies, people's heads get blown off, the world gets progressively worse...Things like that.

Carly: Oh really. So who's your favorite character?

Speed: ....The good looking one.

Carly: Which one is that?

Speed: *opens mouth*

Katie: NO! THE UNIVERSE WILL IMPLODE!

Speed: You're so paranoid. Are you sure you're not on drugs?

Katie: I'm on speed.

Speed: That sounds wrong in A LOT of ways.

Katie: It was meant to.

Carly: How would you know what the movie was about unless you were IN the movie?

Speed: I was not in the movie. I was here the entire time.

Carly: Oh yeah?

Speed: Yeah.

Carly: Okay then.

Speed: Alright.

Carly: Great.

Speed: Perfect.

Katie: Yeah okay we get it.

Delko: Does 'D' mean Delko?

Speed: Yes Eric, D means Delko. Everyone in the movie was on substance Delko.

Delko: You never know.

TBC,..........
 
Delko: Does 'D' mean Delko?

Speed: Yes Eric, D means Delko. Everyone in the movie was on substance Delko.

HAHAH, Oh man I can't stop laughing. Teehee. "NO THE UNIVERSE WILL IMPLODE!" haha Heck yes! Substance Delko. Oh man when I go to see A Scanner Darkly I'm going to be thinking of Substance Delko everytime they say Substance D and I'm going to bust out laughing. lol. Update soon please.
 
:lol: YAY! I've influenced your life. :p

We All Know Who The Best Character Is...

[Hummerhome]

Delko: I'm just saying, if they're going to be on drugs, then they need to hide a little better.

Speed: Eric, I've explained this. The government is tracking them.

Delko: How?

Speed: Federal agents.

Delko: Like Stetler?

Speed: ...Stetler isn't a federal agent.

Delko: Okay so these guys go and hunt down the druggies. Then what?

Speed: Then they get arrested.

Delko: Oh so that's the end of the movie then.

Speed: No, that's just the conspiracy.

Delko: I don't get it.

Speed: *sigh* It's not the kind of movie you'd see.

Delko: It's a cartoon. I love cartoons.

Speed: It's not a cartoon. It's more like a ...Live action graphic novel.

Delko: ...So a cartoon.

Speed: No. It's not a cartoon. Okay so it's cartoon, but that's not the point.

Delko: Why?

Speed: They don't do the good-looking one's face enough justice.

Delko: So how do you know he looks good?

Speed: I happen to know what he actually looks like.

Delko: Okay what does he look like?

Katie: He's the spitting image of Speed okay? Let's just drop it before the world starts to implode.

Delko: How would the world implode anyway? Do we all just get sucked into nothingness?

Speed: No, we'd just implode.

Delko: How?

Speed: It's kind of like exploding.

Delko: Then why is it called imploding?

Speed: Because it's collapsing inwardly. And explosions, blow everything to smitherines.

Delko: So if we implode, we'll be collapsing inwardly to what? Nothingness?

Speed: Yeah.

Delko: What is nothingness anyway?

Speed: ...It's nothing.

Delko: I think my brain is exploding.

Speed: Well it's still in your head, so I'd say it's imploding.

Katie: Okay, Tim stop before his eyes start bleeding.

Speed: Sorry.

Carly: So it substance Delko, like Delko Time?

Delko: Substance Delko is what you get during Delko Time.

Missy: Now that's exciting.

Delko: I'll have to adjust the coupons.

Speed: Please don't give out anymore coupons.

Delko: Relax, you're not getting any.

Speed: Oh gee, I feel so dissapointed now.

Delko: I can make you some coupons anyway.

Speed: Don't worry I don't need 'Delko Time'.

Katie: Yeah he has me.

Speed: And she's much more attractive than you.

Delko: Ouch.

Missy: Don't worry Eric, I like Delko Time.

Delko: Thank you. See? People like Delko Time.

Speed: *shakes head*

TBC.........
 
Delko: Substance Delko is what you get during Delko Time.

Missy: Now that's exciting.

Delko: I'll have to adjust the coupons.

OH MAN, I laughed so hard I snorted at that. And the whole imploding, exploding, eye ball bleeding part....Hilarious. Oh Geni you crack me up. lol. Update soon please.
 
Well I'm glad I crack you up, because I don't think I'm very funny. :lol:

Down To My Last

[Hummerhome]

Katie: I HAVE KNEES!

Speed: What?

Katie: ..I said knees right?

Speed: What did you think you said?

Katie: I don't know. Maybe I have tourrets.

Speed: No, you don't have tourrets. You have knees.

Katie: Ha ha very funny.

Delko: Sounds like she has needs.

Katie: That's not what I said.

Delko: It's what you meant.

Katie: It is not.

Delko: Hey Speed, why don't you do something about her needs?

Speed: Excuse me?

Katie: I SAID I HAVE KNEES! WHY DOES IT ALWAYS TURN DIRTY!

Delko: Maybe your knees are dirty.

Speed: I'm confused.

Katie: Me too.

Delko: Me three.

Carly: Were there actual words being exchanged?

Anni: Maybe it wasn't english. Maybe knees are spanish for 'Katie wants Speed'.

Katie: What?

Speed: What?

Katie: No no, that's not what I meant.

Speed: I'm still confused.

Anni: Hey I wouldn't mind having some knees. *winks*

Katie: BACK OFF! HE'S MINE!

Speed: I feel so cheap.

Carly: Seriously, when's it my turn to get some knees?

Anni: In due time.

Katie: What have I started?

Speed: What do knees have to do with anything?

Delko: I think there's a big miscommunication here.

Speed: Obviously.

Katie: Does anyone else feel like they've taken a whole bag of crack?

Speed: As long as you don't turn into the 'tee-heeing machine', I'm good.

Katie: Maybe I've been dosed. You know what's fun? Quarters. I mean there's a big o'l eagle on them and everything. I'm pretty sure eagles don't sit on trees like that, but whatever. I wasn't the artist that made the quarter.

Speed: Um...I think there's an eagle on there because it's our national bird.

Katie: Since when? I don't remember it being our national bird. And why stick it on the quarter? Why not stick it on something that people don't use to scratch lotto tickets.

Speed: Are you actually holding a quarter?

Katie: Yeah.

Speed: Where did you get that?

Katie: Your pocket.

Speed: How did you get in my pocket?

Katie: I'm talented.

Speed: Can I have my quarter back?

Katie: No. It's mine now.

Speed: Since when?

Katie: Since we're married. I own half of everything you own.

Speed: Well then technically you only own 12.5 cents of that quarter.

Katie: Does anyone have 12.5 cents?

Carly: Can you even make .5 cents?

Katie: Half a penny.

Anni: I don't think people accept half a penny as currency.

Delko: Just give them a Canadian penny.

Speed: Give who a...Nevermind. Katie, give me the quarter.

Katie: No. Find your own quarter.

Speed: That WAS my own quarter.

Katie: Well next time you should be paying attention when someone is in your pants.

Speed: *lifts brow*

Katie: Not in that sense of course.

TBC........
 
Missy: Don't worry Eric, I like Delko Time.

Delko: Thank you. See? People like Delko Time.

hell ya I do!! Glad i'm still here! And why didn't we think to look in the area SURROUNDING the body for the rat? silly us! Oh, my mom lost her ring down the drain once, my dad had to rescue it!
 
Katie: Well next time you should be paying attention when someone is in your pants.

Hahaha OMG! lol. And seriously why is it whenever I yell out something it becomes dirty? lol. "I have knees" hahaha. Ugh and there was something else i was going to say and I can't remember. Ergh oh YEAH! What's wrong with the teeheeing maching! She was fun. lol.
 
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