CSI:Miami Road Trip- We've Travelled a Long Way

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Yeah what is with that? Every time. Even if he full-blown hates the woman, he manages a smirk. *points finger* At least he didn't cheat! :p

There Is A Dead Ant On My Wall

[Hummerhome]

Delko: I can't believe they didn't put in a white crayon.

Speed: That's because the coloring book is 'desert animals of the desert'. What do you need white for?

Delko: Um, there's such thing as white sand.

Speed: What kind of deserts do you go to?

Delko: What if I wanted to do shading?

Speed: Okay Eric, they sell these books for four year olds. They don't expect you to be shading.

Delko: I like to be artistic.

Speed: More like autistic.

Delko: Nu uh, to be autistic you have to be smart.

Speed: Way to go Eric. You burned yourself again.

Delko: WHERE! WHAT DEGREE!

Speed: Third degree burns. To your brain.

Delko: Maybe that happened when I lit that Q-tip to see inside my ears.

Speed: *shakes head*

Katie: Tim..

Speed: Uh oh, why are you giving me that tone?

Katie: Was there a woman in that lab?

Speed: There were a lot of women in that lab.

Katie: Was there one you got to know?

Speed: Uh...Not like that. I hate her.

Katie: So why haven't you even talked to me yet?

Speed: I have to talk to you all the time?

Katie: *frowns*

Speed: Come on, stop being so paranoid.

Katie: I'm not paranoid.

Speed: Yes you are.

Delko: Here we go again.

Carly: Pass me that blue crayon.

Katie: I'm not being paranoid!

Speed: Yes you are.

Katie: Well did you flirt with her?

Speed: No.

Katie: Did you smirk at her?

Speed: I'm not aloud to smirk?

Katie: Not to other women!

Speed: *frowns*

Katie: Oh don't give me that look.

Speed: ...I do not want other women okay? Get it through your head.

Katie: I'm trying but it keeps getting blocked by all the women you're sleeping with.

Carly: Does this mean I won't have my turn?

Delko: I wouldn't hold my breath.

Speed: I don't want to have this conversation with you.

Katie: Fine, I don't want to sleep with you.

Speed: Fine.

Katie: Fine.

Speed: Wait, what?

Katie: You heard me.

Speed: How did that even get into this conversation?

Katie: I don't know.

Speed: Well stop it.

Katie: Fine.

Speed: Fine.

Katie: FINE.

Speed: FINE.

Katie: FINE!

Speed: FINE!

Katie: Oh my God don't yell at me. *starts to cry*

Speed: I barely yelled.

Katie: *crying* DON'T BE SUCH A POO FACE!

Speed: Well gee I love you too.

Katie: DIE!! *hits Speed*

Speed: You hit like Eric.

Delko: Hey!

Katie: BAAAA! *hitting Speed*

Speed: *grabs Katie's hands* Are you finished?

Katie: POO FACE!

Speed: Go to your happy place.

Katie: I CAN'T! DONAHUE DESTROYED IT WITH SOAP BUBBLES!

Speed: *sigh*

Katie: Why aren't you mad at me? I'm yelling at you and hitting you.

Speed: How can I stay mad at you? You're so cute when you're mad.

Katie: HE-..Hey...I was not expecting that answer.

Speed: Have you calmed down now?

Katie: Well..Now that you've called me cute.

Speed: *lets go of Katie* Are you going to behave?

Katie: Sure, but I'm not making any promises. I just had three sprites and a bag of Cheez-its.

TBC..........
 
oh man that whole entire update was hilarious!

Delko: I like to be artistic.

Speed: More like autistic.

Delko: Nu uh, to be autistic you have to be smart.

Speed: Way to go Eric. You burned yourself again.

Buurrn the weddings off!...I mean on...I mean it already happend! lol. Anyways that was fun times when we used to say that all the time. Anyways. That whole part with me and Speed was cute. And oh man how much do I want cheez its right now? lol. Update soon please!
 
*sigh* I really have to stop going to the Adam thread. :rolleyes: ...You don't even want to know why.

Good Times, Bad Times, Worse Times, Dead Times

[Hummerhome]

Katie: WHOA HEY GUESS WHAT!

Speed: What?

Katie: IT'S JULY!

Delko: It is?

Katie: Yeah!

Carly: Hey are you drunk? Because drunk Katie is fun.

Katie: OH HEY HORATIO CAN WE GO TO A BAR?!

Horatio: It couldn't hurt. As long as you don't get drunk.

Katie: I promise.

Horatio: Somehow I don't believe you.

Delko: Uh oh, don't send Speed with her. If they both get drunk it'll be chaos.

Speed: No it won't.

[Bar]

Carly: Wow it's a like a real bar.

Anni: Yeah with real seats and real people too.

Carly: Alright bar keep, get me a glass of milk with a little umbrella thingy in it.

Anni: That's lame. Get me a whiskey on the rocks.

Carly: That's alcoholic.

Anni: That's the point. What do you think this is? A gay bar?

Carly: Well Eric's in here.

Missy: *sits down* Eric's not gay.

Carly: How do you know?

Missy: He only passes out 'Delko Time' coupons to women.

Anni: Well all I know is I like the cut of his jip.

Carly: What's a jip?

Anni: It's an expression.

Katie: *sits down* Get me the most alcoholic thing you can find.

Anni: *looks at Katie* Are you serious?

Katie: I am going to forget my troubles, and then in the morning remember my troubles. It's going to be a blast.

Anni: No, it's going to be a headache.

Katie: *drinks* HECK YES. *slams glass down* Hit me.

Carly: Where's Speed?

Katie: He's the designated driver. He gets to drink milk. That's probably good since he loves cows so much.

Anni: I thought Horatio was the designated driver.

Katie: Whoever has the keys by the end of the night. *drinks* THAT'S RIGHT! *slams glass down* Hit me.

Missy: Why are we hitting you?

Anni: I don't know, we're not playing poker.

Katie: *drinks* OH HEY! THERE'S A JUKEBOX IN HERE!

Anni: Oh great.

Katie: HECK YES!



Horatio: Katie looks like she's having fun.

Speed: I can't believe you won't let me drink.

Horatio: I need at least one person to talk to after everyone else gets plastered.

Speed: Well gee, I'm glad you thought of me.

[10 minutes later]

Katie: WHY ISN'T THERE A BULL-RIDING MACHINE IN HERE!

Anni: Because you're yelling.

Katie: Hey if I don't get to ride Speed then I sure as heck get to ride a bull. *falls down*

Carly: *helps Katie up*

Katie: Whoa, I'm good. No worries. Okay who wants to set cherry bombs in the toilets?

Carly: I'll do it! *raises hand*

Katie: Okay do you have any cherry bombs?

Carly: Nope.

Katie: Do you have any cherries?

Carly: What are cherries going to do?

Katie: We can drop them in the toilets and then yell BOOM!

Carly: That's not very effective.

Katie: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!

Carly: What?

Katie: I SMELL AWESOME! *sings* Na na na na! Na na na na! Hey! Hey! Hey! Goodbye! *falls down*

Anni: Are you okay?

Katie: I'm good! Whoa, it's like the alcogohol isn't even doing anything. I feel perfectlectly fine!

Anni: Oh really.

Katie: YEAH! Yeah ask me anything.

Anni: Okay, what's your blood alcohol level?

Katie: Except that. WHOA! HEY LET'S DANCE ON STAGE!

Carly: What stage?

Katie: WE'LL MAKE ONE! Okay you go get the wood, and I'll get some nails. SOMEONE FIND ME BOB VILA!

Missy: Does he use a cell phone or a land line?

Katie: Okay, okay, okay, whoa, okay, if this floor was just one milimimeter upper more, we could do stuff with the stuff. PERFECT IDEA GUYS! Okay listen up. We should *staggers around* Paint this entire building flourescent purple! I'll grab a toothpick. *staggers away*

Carly: Toothpick?

Anni: It's going to take her a while.

Katie: OH NO WAIT! WE SHOULD PAINT THIS ENTIRE PLACE WITH BLOOD! That way, the vampires have something to munch on while we're fixing the floors to make a stage for our kareoke and dancing. OH LET'S GO FENCING!

Anni: Come sit down Katie.

Katie: NU UH NO WAY! I don't trust something with four wooden legs, thank you very much. *falls down* Wow this carpet smells like pink. *gets up* I need more algocohol. *drinks*

Anni: I think you've had enough.

Katie: I think you're GAY.

Carly: I like drunk Katie. She's funny.

Katie: Well thank you. I might be drunker than a skunk in a bunk, but I know how to accept a compliment. *bows* Whoa, hey this floor turns when you move. *falls down* It's like PLANET HOLLYWOOD DOWN HERE! No! PLANET DOLLYWOOD!

Anni: Oh boy.

Katie: We need some little umbrella thingies down here in case it rains. Who knew scrunched paper could be such a life saver? *gets up* WHOA MY SKIRT JUST WENT UP ALL THE WAY!

Anni: That's great, but you're wearing jeans.

Katie: SAYS YOU!

Speed: *walks over* Okay, I think you need to sit down.

Katie: WHOA! HEY HOT STUFF! YOU'RE LIKE A HOT POCKET.

Speed: Excellent. Sit.

Katie: *sits* You know what you need? Less eyes. I lost count at 15.

Speed: Have some coffee.

Katie: *grabs Speed by the shirt* Hey babe, you know what would be fun? *strokes Speed's chest* Getting to know each other behind that dumpstumpster out there.

Speed: Sit back down.

Katie: *kisses Speed's cheek* Don't worry honey I don't bite.

Speed: Sit. Now.

Katie: *sits* OOooh so controlabling. Well I obey you master. *bows, falls off chair* WHOA! Ha! That chair just pushed me off it's head.

Speed: *grabs Katie* This is why you're not supposed to drink.

Katie: WHOA! You're married! WHO'S THE LUCKY LADY!

Speed: You. Sit down.

Katie: Whoa, hey it's like we're at the circus and I'm the elephant. Are you going to whip me?

Speed: *frowns*

Katie: Ooooh so serious. HEY WHOA! This shoe is eating my foot! The killer laces are back to get me! Quick, someone get me a cigarette!

Anni: I don't understand any of that.

Carly: At least she still knows what planet she's on.

Katie: I'M THE QUEEN OF THE SPIDER PEOPLE! *twirling around in chair*

TBC..........
 
OH HOLY HELL. I have never laughed so hard in my life. All hail the queen of the spider people! I have soooo many parts in their that were my favorite....Bob Vilia....and those little umbrella thingies...I actually have one of those on my desk right now...but I didn't get it from drinking I swear!

Drunk Katie kicks all the other Katie's butts! YAY ME! lol. Update soon please!
 
Drunk Katie kicks butt! :lol: Poor everyone else though. :p

Painkiller

[Bar]

Katie: Hey Speedy?

Speed: What.

Katie: Let's make loooooove.

Speed: *frowns* Let's not.

Katie: *stands up* OH! You know what you need? A fire extinguisher. Everyone should have one of those.

Speed: How much have you had to drink?

Katie: Oh, you're going to get all cop on me? *staggers over to Speed* That's shmexy.

Speed: What?

Katie: You know babe, you and me, we're like this. *crosses fingers* And sometimes, we're like that. *uncrosses fingers* But every now and then, we're like this. *crosses eyes* God I need another drink. *grabs glass, drinks*

Speed: Who keeps filling it up?

Bartender: *lifts hand*

Speed: Katie, come sit down in a booth.

Katie: I DON'T NEED A BOOT!

[Booth]

Speed: Sit down before you hurt yourself.

Katie: Nonsense. Drunk people don't break, they bend.

Speed: Someone your age should not be downing 7 shots of bourban.

Katie: What's it to you? *pokes Speed*

Speed: You've had enough.

Katie: Come join me on the fun side.

Speed: I'm fine on my side.

Katie: *leans closer* It's fun. Everything is like in flashback mode. All the colors are bright and everything is screwy.

Speed: I know what it's like to be drunk. No need to educate me.

Katie: You're kind of hot when you're serious.

Speed: I've heard.

Katie: *strokes Speed's stubble* Come on let's have some fun.

Speed: No.

Katie: Pwetty pwease?

Speed: No.

Katie: Hey you taste good. *kisses Speed's neck*

Speed: *stands up* Stay here, I'll be back.

Katie: Where are you going?

Speed: Just...Don't do anything stupid.

Katie: Well hey that sucks monkey butts. *gets up* ALL OBEY THE QUEEN OF THE SPIDER PEOPLE! YOU THERE! FETCH MY TIARA! *puts ashtray on head*

Carly: Should we hold her down or something?

Anni: It's best not to.

Katie: *dancing* I AM THE QUEEN! THE QUEEN! THE QUEEN! WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!

Carly: I think that's Queen.

Katie: THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I'LL BE DOING REQUESTS!

Carly: Pinball Wizard!

Anni: *slaps Carly*

Carly: Ow.

Speed: Katie, get over here.

Katie: Hey there love-er. *smiles*

Speed: You never listen.

Katie: What a coinkeedink, neither do people without ears. *falls down*

Speed: You do realize you're not going to remember any of this right?

Katie: WHO CARES! THEN I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO DO WHAT I WANT! *running around in circles*

Speed: *grabs Katie* Sit on this chair.

Katie: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Speed: You're going to hurt yourself.

Katie: NO YOU'RE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF!

Speed: Stop yelling.

Katie: YOU STOP YELLING!

Speed: I'm not yelling.

Katie: WELL YOU SHOULD TRY IT! Whoa, whoa whao, no no no that's not going to do.

Speed: What?

Katie: You're wearing too many clothes. *smiles*

Speed: *sigh* Just sit still for five minutes. Please.

Katie: Well now that you've said the magic word, I guess I should listen.

Speed: Stay here.

Katie: HEY!

Speed: What?

Katie: How does a hot pocket like you end up in a pizza bagel like this?

Speed: *shakes head*

Katie: *starts to cry*

Speed: What's wrong?

Katie: I think I did something BAD!

Speed: Like what?

Katie: I..I...I...I think I put on my socks backwards! *starts laughing*

Speed: ...Great. She's dillusional.

Katie: *gets up* I'm not DILL PICKLED! I AM A CUCUMBER.

Speed: That's good.

Katie: *grabs Speed* If I didn't feel like I was going to pass out, I'd..I'd..*falls down*

Carly: Did she pass out?

Anni: I think so.

Speed: I'll take her back to the Hummerhome.

Anni: Good luck.

[Hummerhome]

Speed: *lays Katie in bed* Remind me never to let you in a bar again.

TBC.........
 
Hahaha, Oh man I love drunk Katie. She's so much fun.

Katie: *gets up* I'm not DILL PICKLED! I AM A CUCUMBER.

That cracked me up. And I am NEVER going to be able to eat a hot pocket again because everytime I go to I'm going to think of Speed lol.


Katie: You know babe, you and me, we're like this. *crosses fingers* And sometimes, we're like that. *uncrosses fingers* But every now and then, we're like this. *crosses eyes* God I need another drink. *grabs glass, drinks*

And that cracked me up to. Update soon please!
 
awww i wanna get drunk too...getting drunk and smoking are fun ..... hehe i ain't a smoker *hides cigerette behind back*.... owwwey it burned me
 
HAHA, those last few chapters cracked me up...I don't think I've laughed like that for a while :lol: Drunk Katie is fun!
For some reason, when I was reading it, it reminded me of the whole "I have knees!" chapter :lol:

Haha, drunk Katie is awesome! please update soon
 
Katie is funny when she's drunk and Speed being serious at the same time, it cracks me up as their personalities clash. :lol: :lol: :lol:

please update soon!
 
Hahaha man I'm laughing so much :lol:

Katie: We can drop them in the toilets and then yell BOOM!- I want to do that!!
 
I love it here. Everyone's happy and cheerful and..Happy :lol:

The Wind's Blowing Strong

[Hummerhome, morning]

Speed: *walks in*

Katie: *wakes up* Hey.

Speed: *stops walking* You're awake.

Katie: Okay I don't remember anything past Eric coloring the desert so please tell me I didn't do anything that stupid.

Speed: Uh...Well you had fun.

Katie: I didn't kill anyone did I?

Speed: No, nothing like that.

Katie: Did I make a complete fool out of myself?

Speed: Well actually everyone enjoyed your performance.

Katie: Performance?

Speed: Yeah you were the 'Queen of the spider people'.

Katie: *frowns*

Speed: Your dancing is getting much better though.

Katie: You didn't try and stop me?

Speed: Oh I tried. You had other ideas with me.

Katie: ...I'm so sorry.

Speed: Don't worry about it. Get dressed and showered, we're hitting the highway again.

Katie: Okay can you tell me what I did?

Speed: Nothing too spectacular.

Katie: I didn't embarass you did I?

Speed: No honey, you only embarassed yourself. *leaves*

Katie: ...Great. *gets up*

[Out in Hummerhome..Area place]

Katie: *sits down*

Carly: *smiles*

Anni: *looking at floor*

Missy: *clears throat*

Katie: ...I swear I won't do it again.

Carly: Aw but I liked drunk Katie. She was fun.

Katie: Really?

Carly: Yeah. I liked it when you called Tim a hot pocket.

Katie: *looks at Speed*

Speed: Well I wouldn't say that's...Exactly what you said.

Carly: I heard it. That's what she said.

Anni: It's true.

Katie: We didn't...Do anything did we?

Speed: You think I'd let you do anything? I don't think so.

Katie: Good.

Carly: Well she was all over him in the booth.

Anni: It's true.

Katie: *frowns*

Speed: It was either that or let you blow up the building. And I moved anyway. And you passed out before you could do enough damage.

Katie: I really called you a hot pocket?

Speed: I think it's best not to think too hard on that.

Katie: I didn't confess anything did I?

Speed: Why? Do you have something to confess?

Katie: No, I-

Anni: She confessed that her socks were on backwards.

Carly: I don't even think she was wearing socks.

Anni: We should get Katie AND Speed drunk at the same time. Now wouldn't that be fun?

Delko: No, don't do that. Katie might be a fun drunk, but I don't think Speed is very nice.

Calleigh: Yeah he's more of a depressed drunk.

Delko: I didn't think his personality could get any more miserable.

Speed: Whoa, hey, stop. I am not like that.

Delko: Yes you are. It's depressing.

Calleigh: And sometimes you cry.

Speed: I do not cry.

Delko: I've always thought alcohol brings out one's personality. But it kind of numbs Speed.

Speed: It does not.

Katie: Okay wait a second. You're MORE miserable while drunk? That's not even fair.

Delko: Well except the time when he was dancing on Horatio's counter wearing the cowboy hat. But that was before he was exposed to dead bodies and rapists.

Speed: Did you have a point?

Delko: If you get you and Katie drunk at the same time, it'll be like...The biggest contrast I'd ever seen. It's like how you two are now times a bilion.

Calleigh: Maybe not a billion.

Katie: I want to see this.

Speed: No you don't.

Katie: Why are you afraid you'll cry or something?

Speed: We're not getting me drunk. End of story.

Katie: Fine. We'll just slip it in your water.

Speed: No.

Katie: I wonder what you'd be like if you were high.

Delko: Probably happy.

Katie: OH let's go get some dope!

Speed: ...*frowning* I am a very happy person.

Katie: You don't look very happy.

Speed: Oh I'm giggling like a school girl on the inside.

Katie: Charming. Seriously, be happy.

Speed: You can't just command someone to be happy.

Katie: Well that's why we have to get you high.

Speed: Yeah, after the whole meth thing, I don't think that's going to work.

Katie: Why not?

Delko: I told you, he's numb to happiness.

Speed: I am not numb to happiness.

Katie: Yeah I've made him very happy.

Speed: Stop talking.

Katie: Oh yeah. Sorry.

Calleigh: Let's buy some marijuana and have a good time.

Speed: Trust me, you do not want to see me happy.

Calleigh: Why not?

Speed: I'd probably be worse than Katie was last night.

TBC......
 
Awww High speed. SLATER! "Hey Couch Conrad. Remember me? Gym Class. Second period." *GASP* Oh no the universe will IMPLODE! lol. Drunk Katie is a lot of fun. Queen of The Spider People. How do you come up with this stuff? And there is nothing wrong with Speed crying, its very cute. Update soon please.
 
Hahaha :lol: worse than Katie eh? we all need to see that one. I think that will make me fall off my chair :D
 
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