CSI:Miami Road Trip: Unlucky Number 13

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Finch, Jan 14, 2010.

  1. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

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    Thanks for the review! :D

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    APL Financial, 48th floor, Xerox room, 9am

    Scott: *pressing buttons*

    Chloe: *walks over*

    Scott: *pounds fists onto button*

    Chloe: What's wrong with it?

    Scott: It keeps giving me errors. My code is correct, *shakes Xerox* you mechanical bitch.

    Chloe: Here, try mine. *punches in code*

    Xerox beeps; paper flows out

    Scott: *looks at Chloe* Thanks.

    Chloe: These things can be tempermental.

    Scott: You'd think with this being the 21st century, someone would invent an iPhone that could make photocopies for you.

    Chloe: *smiles* Maybe it's next on the list.

    Frederick: *walks over* Has anyone seen Bob? The phone in his office keeps ringing.

    Scott: Maybe he's running late.

    Frederick: Or he's dead.

    Chloe: Why would he be dead?

    Frederick: Probably had a heart attack from all that dancing to Lady GaGa. Will that woman ever stop spreading filth through the airwaves?

    Chloe: I kind of like her stuff.

    Frederick: You would.

    Scott: *pulls out cellphone, dials*

    Frederick: Hey, does this mean we get a free day?

    Scott: No. *walks away*

    Frederick: He never has any fun.

    Chloe: We're not here to have fun, Freddie.

    Frederick: It's not Freddie.

    Chloe: *rolls eyes*

    Parking Garage

    Scott: *walking*

    Bob: *shuts car door*

    Scott: You okay?

    Bob: *turns around* Yeah, why?

    Scott: You're late.

    Bob: *straightens out cuffs* I had a meeting this morning.

    Scott: There was nothing on the board.

    Bob: It was a personal matter. *starts walking* I don't suppose April showed up.

    Scott: No, she got stuck in New York. There's a snow storm.

    Bob: Excellent.

    Scott: *looks at Bob*

    Bob: *smiles* Any day that I don't have to deal with her, the better.

    Scott: I know what you mean.

    Bob: For once, I'd like to have a conversation with a female CEO that doesn't degenerate into insanity. You know she wants to hire various male employees at APL to accompany her to benefits?

    Scott: What'd you tell her?

    Bob: I'm not a pimp.

    Scott: *laughs*

    Bob: Don't get me wrong, there are some fantastic female leaders out there but after Kimberly and April, I'm starting to wonder what's in the water in New York.

    Scott: I don't think you really want to know.

    Bob: Probably not. *opens door, steps into elevator*

    Scott: So what was this 'personal meeting' about?

    Bob: I'm looking for a surrogate.

    Scott: *nods slowly* I see.

    Bob: I met with a lovely young woman who was interested in helping.

    Scott: Good. I hope it works out for you.

    Bob: I don't think I'll pick her.

    Scott: *looks at Bob* Why?

    Bob: She's a graduate student so she's certainly intelligent and capable...she's also very beautiful but there's something missing.

    Scott: Does she have a lazy eye?

    Bob: *looks at Scott*

    Scott: *smirks*

    Bob: She's...boring.

    Scott: I don't think 'boring' is a genetic defect.

    Bob: I'll have to keep looking.

    Scott: *looks at watch*

    Bob: Is Lori busy?

    Scott: *lifts eyes* ...

    Hummerhome, road

    Katie: Okay okay. I spy my little eye on something that is both brown and green.

    Anni: OH! I KNOW THIS ONE! TOM'S EYES!

    Katie: I was going for what the toilet looked like after Eric got finished but okay.

    Delko: Hey. Those tacos were contaminated. Why didn't anyone else get sick?

    Carly: *typing on laptop* They weren't contaminated.

    Delko: Yes they were. And would you get off that thing? I have to check my e-mail.

    Carly: Nobody uses e-mail anymore.

    Delko: Oh. Okay, so I'll just completely ignore the fact that you're hogging the only laptop.

    Speed: Why don't you go sit on the toilet for a while.

    Delko: Everytime I go in there, someone has to use it.

    Colton: Hey, how come we never invested in a second bathroom? We've had 20 people in here at one point.

    Horatio: Patience is a virtue.

    Colton: Not when I have to take a piss.

    Katie: I spy with my little eye, something that is stubbly!

    Anni: OH! I KNOW THIS ONE! ERIC'S BIKINI LINE!

    Delko: There's no shame in maintaining one's self.

    Tom: I'm suddenly scared for my sanity.

    Speed: Welcome to the club, my friend. *lifts hand*

    Tom: *high-fives Speed*

    Delko: *stands, runs*

    Katie: DON'T USE THE GOOD TOILET PAPER!

    Tom: *wraps arm around Anni*

    Katie: *elbows Speed* Show me some affection.

    Speed: Okay. I like your shoes.

    Katie: I said affection, not fashion advice. You suck at this.

    Horatio: Does anybody have a map?

    Calleigh: I thought you had the map.

    Horatio: I gave you the map.

    Calleigh: You gave Tim the map.

    Speed: I don't read maps.

    Carly: My computer has a map.

    Katie: Shut up about your computer. We get it. You're a big fat nerd.

    Carly: I'm not fat.

    Katie: Your ankles are fat.

    Carly: *gasp* LIAR.

    Katie: Anni, tell her.

    Anni: Her ankles are not fat.

    Carly: Thank you.

    Katie: Oh I see how it is. You're everyone's friend but mine.

    Anni: Aww, poor Katie. *wraps arms around Katie, kisses her cheek*

    Katie: I'm still mad at you.

    Tom: *looks at Speed*

    Speed: *looks at Tom*

    Anni: *grabs phone from table* Okay, there's a campsite about 150 miles from here.

    Horatio: Which direction?

    Anni: Straight.

    Horatio: And then what?

    Calleigh: Did you forget how to drive?

    Horatio: ...No.

    Calleigh: Do you want me to drive?

    Horatio: No. I can drive in a straight line.

    Speed: God forbid there's an exit somewhere on this highway.

    TBC......................
     
  2. CSISDFlash

    CSISDFlash Pathologist

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    HAHAHAH ! Let the games begin! I love it now the Roadtrip is underway! I think we are gonna have a new since of fun since Tom is now a part of the gang! You know that he has to be RT initiated and RT tested since hes a virgin! lol! I know that should be a problem for your sadistic little mind Geni! lol!

    Uh Oh I knew Bob was gonna end up thinking about Lori as a segregate mother for his child! Hmm in a way that could be an interesting plot twist! Hell they've just about all slept with each other anyways! Well except Bob & Scott that is! lol! Hmm ! What would that make Scot and Bob if Lori has Bobs baby! Co -fathers or something! lol!

    Great update Geni!
     
  3. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

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    HAHAHAHAHA The gang's ALL HERE! :guffaw: A Road Trip always brings them together. It was nice to see Carly and Colton- where have they been all these years??? Doubly nice to see Anni slipping right back into her role as resident clown, with Katie backing her up. Horatio still is clueless...as is Delko. I did notice that Tom's along for the ride. I have a sneaky suspicion that he is going to take his family and head for the hills once he comes back---if he comes back at all...:)

    Hiliarity ( of course) ensues...

    Bob's looking for a baby mama...Aw....LOL @ Scott's classic expression when he asked if Lori was free...

    Excellent update!
     
  4. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

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    Thanks for the reviews! :)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Hummerhome, campsite, 9pm

    Horatio: Okay folks, bed time.

    Delko: But we were just settling down for a game of Twister. Bikini twister.

    Carly: Yeah, don't ruin the fun.

    Horatio: Okay but be sure to keep it down. I forgot to pack my earplugs.

    Speed: Why don't you just take out your hearing aids?

    Katie: *snort*

    Horatio: Very funny. *walks away*

    Anni: Okay, spin the wheel.

    Delko: *spins wheel*

    Anni: Hit me with it.

    Delko: Right hand, red.

    Anni: *bends over*

    Tom: *grabs wheel* My turn. *spins*

    Katie: *jumping up and down*

    Tom: *staring at Katie*

    Speed: *whacks Tom upside the head*

    Tom: Left foot, yellow.

    Katie: *jumps onto mat*

    Carly: Me next!

    Speed: *spins wheel* ...Right hand, blue.

    Carly: *bends over*

    Delko: *cracks open beer* This is the best game ever.

    Calleigh: *takes beer* Where did you get that?

    Delko: The fridge.

    Calleigh: No. *slaps Eric's hand* We promised Horatio we wouldn't.

    Delko: But we promise Horatio a lot and never follow through.

    Calleigh: Some of us don't drink.

    Delko: *kicks Speed*

    Speed: Ow. *throws pillow at Eric*

    Tom: Left hand, yellow.

    Katie: *bends over Anni*

    Anni: ...Did your boobs get bigger?

    Katie: *smiles* You noticed.

    Tom: Miss Aussie. Right hand, red.

    Carly: *slides under Anni*

    Anni: Why am I the sandwich?

    Carly: You smell like flowers.

    Katie: Okay, let's go! Come on!

    Tom: Left hand, blue.

    Katie: *knees Anni in the gut*

    Anni: OW!

    Katie: Oops.

    Anni: You're stepping on my finger!

    Katie: We're on the same circle.

    Anni: It's a big circle, MOVE.

    Katie: You move.

    Anni: I can't, I have two people on me.

    Katie: Here, lemme climb over this way.

    Anni: *winces* Did you have to wear heels?

    Katie: Yes.

    Anni: *looks at Speed* For shame.

    Speed: It's not like I suggested it.

    Tom: Anni, left foot, yellow.

    Anni: *slides foot*

    Carly: OW OW!

    Anni: Did I get you?

    Carly: No, I'm just saying OW OW to fit in.

    Anni: *frowns* Tomorrow we get naked man Twister.

    Katie: Ooh.

    Delko: I'm not touching asses with Speed and Carter.

    Tom: Grey.

    Anni: So it's okay for us to be in bikinis.

    Delko: You picked the theme.

    Anni: *stands*

    Katie: ACK! *falls over*

    Carly: Oof.

    Anni: I want to see some mud wrestling.

    Speed: No.

    Anni: Why?

    Speed: Because I'm too old for that.

    Anni: Think of it like a spa day.

    Speed: What kind of spas do you go to?

    Delko: Naked mud wrestling spas.

    11:40pm

    Anni: *grabs Katie's hair* UGH!

    Katie: I didn't mean it!

    Anni: Then what the hell did you mean to say by claiming my daughter would grow up to be a heroin addict?

    Katie: Monkey see, monkey do.

    Anni: *shoves Katie against wall*

    Tom: 50 bucks on Anni.

    Speed: I'll take that bet.

    Delko: 100 on Katie.

    Katie: *scratches Anni's face*

    Anni: AH! *kicks Katie*

    Katie: *throws Anni onto floor*

    Anni: *screams*

    Katie: *scratching Anni*

    Anni: *rips at Katie's hair*

    Horatio: *walks out of bedroom* What in the world is going on?

    Tom: Shh, you're interrupting.

    Horatio: *looks at Tom*

    Tom: Want in on the bet?

    Horatio: Kathryn, Anni...

    Katie: *stands*

    Anni: *sits up*

    Horatio: Bed. All of you.

    Bathroom, 12:04am

    Anni: *wipes cheek with cloth*

    Speed: *walks over* Hey. You alright?

    Anni: Yeah.

    Speed: You seem a bit on edge.

    Anni: *shrugs* Katie gets on my nerves.

    Speed: She sure tore up your face.

    Anni: And I bet you enjoyed every second of it.

    Speed: I called Lori. She said Brook had a great day and that she's down for the evening.

    Anni: *nods* Good.

    Speed: You nervous about having her stay with Lori?

    Anni: Not really. Scott's there. Are you nervous?

    Speed: ...A bit.

    Anni: *smirks*

    Speed: Good night.

    Anni: Night.

    Speed: *walks away*

    Bedroom

    Katie: *dancing around room*

    Speed: *steps in, shuts door*

    Katie: *twirls around* Care to join me?

    Speed: Not really.

    Katie: You need to learn to live a little. *grabs Speed's hand, dances backwards*

    Speed: *smirks* Are you high?

    Katie: It must be all this Georgia air.

    Speed: *wraps arms around Katie*

    Katie: *smiles*

    Speed: *pulls Katie onto bed* You don't want Horatio ruining all your fun.

    Katie: *smiling* Oh so you're protecting me.

    Speed: You could say that.

    Katie: *rolls over* How adorable.

    Speed: *brushes hair from Katie's cheek* I love you.

    Katie: *smile fades*

    Speed: *stares at Katie*

    Katie: *slides off bed*

    Speed: *sits up*

    Katie: *walks across room*

    Speed: Are you upset?

    Katie: *bites nails*

    Speed: Katie.

    Katie: You shouldn't say things like that if you don't mean it.

    Speed: *blinks* I meant it.

    Katie: You also 'meant it' when you said it to me each time you cheated on me, you said it to Carly, Anni, Calleigh, Lori, b-

    Speed: Um, Lori's my daughter.

    Katie: The point still stands.

    Speed: Katie, I'm not the same man I was when we were together. I straightened myself up.

    Katie: Oh. So you don't have a secret crush on Scott?

    Speed: *frowns* You know what I'm talking about.

    Katie: Why should I believe you?

    Speed: Because I haven't been with anyone in 2 years. How many guys would admit to that?

    Katie: *stares blankly* ...*smiles* You DO love me! *hugs Speed*

    Speed: *wraps arms around Katie*

    Katie: *pushes Speed onto bed*

    Speed: Oof.

    Katie: *lies down* Night.

    Bedroom 2, 1am

    Anni: *rolls over*

    Tom: *eyes closed*

    Anni: *pokes Tom* Thomas.

    Tom: *mumbles* Tayla's fine.

    Anni: No, I think I heard a bear.

    Tom: *sits up* WHAT?

    Anni: *covers Tom's mouth* Shush. You'll scare it into the Hummerhome.

    Tom: *takes Anni's hand* I don't do bears.

    Anni: Grab your gun.

    Tom: No no no. I'm not going out there.

    Anni: You have to.

    Tom: Why?

    Anni: There's more meat on your bones to distract Yogi enough for us to escape.

    Tom: I love you too.

    Anni: Please just check. I won't be able to sleep tonight if you don't.

    Tom: *sigh*

    Anni: Thank you.

    TBC......................
     
  5. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

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    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA :guffaw: This is why I love road trips. Bikini Twister! Whoda thought? As always, they have a friggin ball, and this time is no different! Tom just doesn't know what he's gotten himself into, but I think he's making due pretty well...

    :guffaw: Tom's going to stare down a bear for Anni....Now that's love...


    Awesome update!
     
  6. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

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    Thanks for the review! :)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Georgia, side of Hummerhome, 1:07am

    Tom: *steps around Hummerhome, lifts gun*

    Shape is seen, growls are heard

    Tom: *pulls trigger*

    BAM

    Tom: *stares ahead*

    Bear deflates

    Tom: *lifts brow*

    Anni: *snorts*

    Carly: WE GOT YOU!

    Tom: *spins around* What the hell is this?

    Anni: *laughing*

    Delko: *holds stomach, laughs*

    Tom: What!

    Anni: It's a rite of passage.

    Delko: Yeah, you just shot a blow-up doll painted like a bear.

    Tom: *looks at ground*

    Anni: *places hand on Tom's chest* Welcome to the team. *walks away*

    Carly: *slaps Tom on the back, walks away*

    Delko: Don't let the bed bugs bite. *walks away*

    Tom: *frowns*

    Gables Estates, house, 3am

    Brook: *crying*

    Scott: *opens bedroom door*

    Brook: *sniffs*

    Scott: Hey, what's going on? *steps in*

    Brook: *cries*

    Scott: *sits on bed* What's wrong?

    Brook: *crying* DADDY!

    Scott: He'll be back in a little while.

    Brook: *cries harder*

    Scott: I've got just the thing for you. *stands, walks over to closet*

    Brook: *sniffs*

    Scott: *pulls out toy dinosaur* Here we go. *walks over, lifts dinosaur* Tada!

    Brook: *starts to cry*

    Scott: You don't like Rex, huh. It's okay, I wasn't into dinosaurs either.

    Lori: *walks in* What's going on?

    Scott: She won't stop crying.

    Lori: Did she say anything?

    Scott: She wants her father.

    Lori: ...And you're just standing there.

    Scott: I'm not her father.

    Lori: *rolls eyes* Okay Brookie. *picks up Brook*

    Brook: *wraps arms around Lori*

    Lori: Let's get you some warm milk. *walks away*

    Den

    Brook: *clutching cup, staring at television*

    Lori: *wraps arm around Brook*

    Scott: *wipes table*

    Lori: *flips channel*

    Brook: *drops head*

    Lori: *takes cup, places it on table*

    Scott: *lifts eyes*

    Lori: *sigh*

    Scott: *walks over, sits on couch* She alright?

    Lori: Yeah. You know kids; monsters in the closet, big house, parents are MIA...they get scared.

    Scott: *nods*

    Lori: You don't remember being a kid, do you.

    Scott: I stopped being a kid at age 8.

    Lori: *smiles* Gee, me too.

    Scott: *grabs Lori's hand*

    Lori: *looks at Brook*

    Scott: *looks at television*

    Lori: ...She's so cute.

    Scott: And you'll have to give her back, sweetie.

    Lori: Nuts.

    Hummerhome, 9am

    Carly: *typing*

    Katie: You're obsessed with that thing.

    Carly: I'm almost done.

    Katie: What are you doing?

    Carly: Updating my blog.

    Katie: You have a blog?

    Carly: Yeah.

    Katie: That's so weird. Who cares what you have to say?

    Carly: Lots of people.

    Katie: Is Chris Hansen after them?

    Carly: I just happen to be up on all the latest news and I have opinions on it, that's all.

    Katie: So you know your son is gay.

    Carly: *looks at Katie* ...What?

    Katie: Oh. I guess Josh didn't tell you.

    Carly: *staring at Katie*

    Katie: It was bound to happen.

    Carly: Maybe you should start a blog.

    Katie: ...Why?

    Carly: You seem to have plenty to say.

    Katie: Hm. So I could blow your blog out of the cyber water.

    Carly: *blinks* No.

    Katie: Why? OH! I have so many awesome conspiracy theories that the world needs to know about. Hey, you think I could interview Scott and do an exposé?

    Carly: *pats Katie on the head*

    Tom: *pours coffee*

    Katie: Hey Tom, you want in on my blog?

    Tom: No.

    Katie: Why? You told me you believed that the CIA murdered Kennedy.

    Tom: That's not what I said.

    Katie: That's what I heard.

    Tom: *sips coffee*

    Katie: What about the moon landing? You don't seriously believe that happened.

    Tom: Why wouldn't I?

    Katie: It was obviously fabricated. You could see the special effects.

    Tom: *looks at Carly*

    Carly: *shakes head*

    Bathroom

    Anni: *brushes hair*

    Speed: *slaps cologne onto face*

    Anni: *pulls hair up*

    Speed: *buttons shirt*

    Anni: *glances over*

    Speed: Tom's fitting in well.

    Anni: *smiles* The inflatable bear was excellent.

    Speed: Yeah, you could have given him a heart attack. Tayla would love that.

    Anni: And Brook.

    Speed: ...Right. You know, Brook has another father.

    Anni: Yeah but what are the odds you'll actually walk her down the aisle one day? Tom's a good 20 years younger than you.

    Speed: That's comforting.

    TBC....................
     
  7. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

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    Tom is officially part of the team! Taking out the inflatable bear was pure brilliance! Tom should feel proud, he's apart of something special...Something very special.

    Ah perhaps Katie should make it a practice to use some tact. It will go a long way. I'm sure Carly's going to have something of a conversation with Josh at some point.

    And maybe...just maybe Carly should've kept mum about the blog. Next thing we know, two guys in cheap, black suits and raybans will be at her door ( because surprisingly, she got some of those conspiracy theories right :guffaw: ). I'm just saying...it could happen.

    Scotty and Lori...They're doing okay for not having childhoods. Just sitting , staring at each other wondering...

    LOL Anni's funny...taking a jab at Speed and his age...and probably his pride a little bit..lol.

    Awesome update!
     
  8. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

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    Thanks for the review. :D

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Georgia, gas station, 11pm

    Katie: *knocking on window* HELLO! OPEN UP!

    Horatio: *walks over* They seem to be closed, Katie.

    Katie: They CAN'T be closed! I HAVE TO GO!

    Tom: *leans against wall, places cigarette into mouth* Eric's going to be in there all night. *lights cigarette*

    Horatio: Maybe there's another way.

    Tom: I think there might be a bucket behind this fine establishment.

    Katie: *punches Tom in the arm*

    Tom: Ow.

    Katie: *kicks window*

    Glass shatters

    Horatio: *looks at Katie* What are you doing?

    Katie: *climbs through glass* OW OW!

    Horatio: Thomas, follow her.

    Tom: *runs through window*

    Horatio: *rubs forehead* Yet another crime committed.

    Inside gas station

    Tom: *looks up at ceiling* No cameras, that's a good sign.

    Katie: *opens door* You HAVE to see this!

    Tom: *blinks* Excuse me?

    Katie: *grabs Tom's arm, runs*

    Tom: *slams into door, steps inside* Ow.

    Door shuts

    Katie: *runs over to counter* They have one of those new soap dispensers that calculates the amount of germs you have on your hands before it gives you the proper amount of sudsy goodness.

    Tom: ...You called me in here for soap.

    Katie: Put your hand under it. I want to know how many millions of bacteria you have.

    Tom: No.

    Katie: *grabs Tom's arm*

    Tom: *shoves Katie*

    Katie: You're such a bull in Antiques Roadshow.

    Tom: ...What?

    Katie: Let's get out of here. *walks over to door, grabs handle*

    Tom: *follows*

    Katie: *yanks door* ...

    Tom: Stop messing around and open it.

    Katie: I can't. It's locked.

    Tom: How can it be locked? It was unlocked when you opened it twice.

    Katie: You hit it with your big annoying yoga body.

    Tom: So?

    Katie: You must have hit the lock.

    Tom: Oh so it's my fault you broke into the gas station and urinated illegally.

    Katie: What are you talking about? I hit the toilet.

    Tom: Do you have a credit card on you?

    Katie: I'm not allowed to own a credit card.

    Tom: A hair pin?

    Katie: *shakes head*

    Tom: Knife.

    Katie: You're thinking about Lori.

    Tom: Okay. *looks around* There's got to be something we can do to get out.

    Katie: Well, the window's too small so we can't climb out. OH! Let's send smoke signals!

    Tom: With what?

    Katie: Toilet paper.

    Tom: How are you going to start a fire?

    Katie: I don't know. Rub two of your brain cells together?

    Tom: *frowns*

    Katie: *paces around room* We can do this. We're CSIs.

    Tom: You're not a CSI.

    Katie: Fine. We're addicts. We can get anything if we try hard enough.

    Tom: *blinks* You're an addict.

    Katie: *bites nails, kneels at counter*

    Tom: You've never admitted that before.

    Katie: *stands* Yeah well stranger things have happened. *places hands on hips* Got any ideas?

    Tom: *looks up at ceiling* ...The vent. There's a vent.

    Katie: *looks up at wall*

    Tom: We can get out that way.

    Katie: Sure.

    Tom: *climbs onto toilet, shoves vent*

    Vent pops inward

    Tom: *smiles* Excellent.

    Katie: Where does it lead?

    Tom: *pulls flashlight from pocket*

    Katie: Where did you get that?

    Tom: I'm a CSI.

    Katie: Naturally.

    Tom: *winces* I don't think I can fit in here. *jumps down* Maybe you can try.

    Katie: Oh no. *laughs* The last time I crawled through an enclosed space, I was being born and I'm not doing it again.

    Tom: Alright, we'll stay here until morning.

    Katie: I'm not sleeping in here.

    Tom: Then get in the vent. C'mon, you can fit.

    Katie: *looks up at vent* ...*smiles* How sweet of you to say.

    Tom: *hands over flashlight* When you jump down, come back around and open the door.

    Katie: Right. *climbs onto toilet* Give me a boost.

    Tom: *lifts Katie*

    Katie: ACK! *slides into vent*

    Tom: You're doing great.

    Katie: *crawling* I hate you.

    Tom: Can you see an opening?

    Katie: That would be your job, Carter.

    Tom: Grey.

    Katie: Ugh.

    Hummerhome

    Carly: Hey, how long have Tom and Katie been gone?

    Horatio: *looks at watch* 45 minutes.

    Speed: *stands, runs*

    Anni: *runs*

    Horatio: I don't get what just happened.

    Calleigh: *pats Horatio's head*

    Gas station, bathroom

    Katie: Uh, Thomas!

    Tom: Yes, Kathryn.

    Katie: I'm stuck.

    Tom: *climbs onto toilet* What? How can you be stuck?

    Katie: My ass got bigger when I started drinking.

    Tom: Can you slide back this way?

    Katie: *kicks feet*

    Tom: Okay, don't panic. I saw this one on a pay-per-view movie. All we have to do is slather you with butter.

    Katie: *looks back* What the hell movie were you watching?

    Tom: ...It's really too graphic to get into.

    Katie: *rolls eyes* I hope Anni knows how disgusting you are.

    Tom: *smiles* She rented it for me.

    Katie: Ugh. Do me a favor. Don't talk to me until I'm free.

    Tom: *smile fades*

    Speed: *opens door, walks in* Where the hell have you two been?

    Tom: AH! *slides off toilet*

    Anni: *walks in* Where's Katie? Did you flush her?

    Tom: Well, she IS stuck in a giant pipe.

    Speed: *looks up at vent*

    Tom: I accidentally locked the door behind us.

    Anni: What were you both doing in the bathroom?

    Tom: We have to get Katie out of the vent before her ass deflates.

    Katie: THEY'RE NOT IMPLANTS!

    Speed: *shakes head* Let's just get this done before someone shows up and the police are called.

    10 minutes later

    Anni: I'll butter her up. Give me a boost.

    Tom: *lifts Anni*

    Anni: *climbs into vent* ...Are you staring at my butt?

    Tom: Yes dear.

    Anni: *smiles* Awesome.

    Tom: *smirks*

    Speed: You two make me sick.

    15 minutes later

    Anni: *pulling Katie's legs*

    Katie: OW! OW! The butter isn't working!

    Anni: ...Are you clenching?

    Katie: Maybe.

    Anni: Katie, stop it.

    Katie: Okay.

    Anni: *yanks Katie backwards*

    Katie: AH! *falls out of vent*

    Anni: *falls* Oof.

    Katie: *smiles* It worked.

    Anni: *pats Katie's back* Get off.

    Katie: *rolls over*

    Anni: *sits up* Can we get back on the road now?

    Katie: Yes.

    Hummerhome

    Katie: *licks fingers*

    Speed: You really should take a shower.

    Katie: I like butter. *smiles*

    Delko: *walks out of bathroom* Are we back on the highway?

    Carly: Stop eating tacos.

    Delko: *sits on couch* I can't help it. I'm so hungry lately.

    Katie: Maybe you're pregnant.

    Delko: *blinks* Should I get a test?

    Speed: Eric, my 4-year old isn't as dense.

    Delko: You never know what could be possible nowadays with all the hormones in the food.

    Katie: I'm totally putting that in my blog! Can I get an interview?

    Delko: Of course.

    Katie: YES! It's finally taking off.

    TBC........................
     
  9. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

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    :guffaw: :guffaw: :guffaw: OMG...that is so hilarious! Katie...butter and a vent. Good times, I tell you...good times. How awesome is Tom though? He's like the CSI MacGyver or something... Give him two tooth picks and some wire, I promise, he's going to find something to blow up...

    Awesome update:D
     
  10. belle

    belle Dead on Arrival

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    [spam removed]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2010
  11. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

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    Thanks for the review! :)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Gables Estates, house, 9am next day

    Lori: *runs upstairs* Dom! Move your freaking fire truck or I'll kick it out the window!

    Dominick: *runs over, grabs truck*

    Lori: *runs into bedroom*

    Master bedroom

    Lori: *applying lip gloss*

    Scott: *steps over* I thought you went out to get groceries.

    Lori: Did it already.

    Scott: *looks at watch*

    Lori: *drops lip gloss* I HAVE to paint the shed. *runs*

    Scott: Whoa, *grabs Lori's arm* hold it.

    Lori: What?

    Scott: Tilt your head up.

    Lori: *lifts head*

    Scott: *places thumb on Lori's cheek* ...Pupils look okay.

    Lori: *smiles* You haven't shaved yet.

    Scott: You didn't take your meds.

    Lori: What meds?

    Scott: The ones the judge ordered you to take.

    Lori: Oh. I ran out. *smiles* Got 10 minutes?

    Scott: Um, no. Not with 4 kids running around.

    Lori: *grabs Scott, pulls him closer* Okay, 5 minutes.

    Scott: Lori, go get a refill.

    Lori: *steps back, frowns* I knew this was going to happen. I'm too old for you now that I've had the kids and AGED! *gasp* You don't want me anymore! You'd rather have that old sack of bones ANNI!

    Scott: *lifts brow* None of what you just said makes any sense. Why would I dump you for being too old and then run to someone who has even more years on you?

    Lori: Because you're a man and men are slimy skuzzballs.

    Scott: ...I'm a skuzzball.

    Lori: Yes.

    Scott: Why exactly haven't you refilled your meds?

    Lori: Don't call them 'meds'. You make it seem like I'm nuts.

    Scott: Answer the question.

    Lori: I got busy with school, work, kids, b-

    Scott: Okay, that's fine. We'll go get you some more.

    Lori: Right now?

    Scott: Right now. I'll drop you off at your doctor and then I'll take the kids for ice cream or something.

    Lori: *nods*

    Scott: *wraps arm around Lori's waist*

    Ice cream shop

    Steph: *licks ice cream*

    Scott: I'll be right back. Steph, you're in charge. *stands, walks away*

    Steph: Okay.

    Tayla: *jumps into chair, drops cone*

    Steph: *looks at Tayla*

    Dominick: *lifts eyes*

    Tayla: *stares at floor* ...*wibbles*

    Steph: *opens mouth*

    Tayla: *starts to cry*

    Steph: Uh oh.

    Tayla: *crying*

    Dominick: *pokes Tayla's nose*

    Tayla: *sniffs, looks at Dominick*

    Dominick: *hands over ice cream cone*

    Tayla: *looks at ice cream*

    Dominick: *leans back in chair*

    Tayla: *smiles*

    Steph: Whew. *wipes forehead*

    Tayla: *licks ice cream*

    Scott: *walks over, sits*

    Steph: Where's Momma?

    Scott: The doctor.

    Steph: Is she quacky again?

    Scott: *smiles* No, sweetie. It's just a checkup.

    Steph: I don't like checkups.

    Scott: *looks at Dominick* Where's your ice cream?

    Dominick: *shrugs*

    Scott: *looks at Tayla*

    Woman: *steps over* Excuse me, are you Scott Finch?

    Scott: *looks at Woman* Yes.

    Woman: *extends hand* Samantha Brighton, Miami Inspirer.

    Man with camera begins taking photos

    Scott: *blinks*

    Samantha: What can you tell me about this picture? *shoves picture into Scott's face* Is this your wife?

    Scott: *snatches photo* Where did you get this?

    Samantha: *smiles* It's not your wife. So you were schmoozing it up at a sexy café with an older woman 8 months ago.

    Scott: C'mon kids, let's go.

    Steph: *jumps down from chair*

    Inside truck, road

    Scott: *staring at road*

    Steph: Daddy, who was that lady?

    Scott: Gossip columnist.

    Steph: So she's a liar.

    Scott: She's misinformed.

    Steph: Oh.

    Scott: *turns wheel*

    Steph: Who was the lady in the picture?

    Scott: Tayla's mom.

    Steph: *nods*

    Scott: We're all friends, you know that right?

    Steph: Like the way Tommy and Momma are friends.

    Scott: *squints* Uh, well...not exactly.

    Backseat of truck

    Tayla: *hugs Dominick's arm*

    Dominick: *pushes Tayla*

    Tayla: *lies head on Dominick's shoulder*

    Dominick: *frowning*

    Health Clinic, waiting room

    Lori: *flips through magazine*

    Jeff: *looks over*

    Lori: *crosses leg*

    Jeff: ...Lori?

    Lori: *lifts head, looks at Jeff* Yes?

    Jeff: *smiles* It's me, Jeff.

    Lori: *stares blankly*

    Jeff: Uh, Jeff Carter. Tom's brother.

    Lori: Oh. *smiles* Hi, I didn't really recognize you.

    Jeff: It's been a while.

    Lori: What are you doing in town? I thought you lived in Jersey.

    Jeff: I'm here on vacation with my little sister, Ashley. Family gets a discount on flights.

    Lori: Right, you're a pilot.

    Jeff: I don't suppose Tom's in town. I tried to leave a message but his phone's disconnected.

    Lori: Yeah, he had to get a new one. Tayla dropped it down the stairs. Why don't I give you his new number. *digs through purse*

    Jeff: That would be wonderful, thank you.

    Lori: I hope everything's okay.

    Jeff: What do you mean?

    Lori: You're at a clinic.

    Jeff: Oh I'm just here to get some stitches checked. *rolls up sleeve* Got into a fight with a Boeing 777.

    Lori: Ouch.

    Jeff: *smiles* I kicked its ass. *winks*

    Lori: *laughs*

    Nurse: *walks over* Lori?

    Lori: *stands*

    Jeff: Why don't you join us for dinner tonight?

    Lori: *looks back*

    Jeff: We'll be at the...Melon.

    Lori: I know the place.

    Jeff: Great, see you at 7?

    Lori: *smiles* Sure.

    TBC.................
     
  12. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

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    LOL...Lori forgot to refill her meds and she's higher than a kite- and obviously very busy. It's good that she went to the doctor though, we don't want any of that other stuff happening again. No more de'ja'vu for me, lol. And who does she meet, but Tom's brother Jeff . Come to find out, Jeff's in Miami for a vacation with Ashley...his sister...NEW to me. Another sister...I sure hope she's better than the last.


    So...Tayla and Dom are so very cute. It was admirable that Dom gave her the ice cream when she dropped hers. CUTE...and AWESOME.

    Samantha...ugh...slap her already.

    Oh and Lori...Did she forget she was babysitting and has a husband at the house? Hmmm...perhaps she should be reminded at some point :guffaw:

    Awesome update!
     
  13. CSISDFlash

    CSISDFlash Pathologist

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    Lol! Just got Caught back up! OMG! I leave and we have Bikinis,inflatable bears,Buttered ass cheeks caught in a vent, B&E, Women beating each other up,Eric and his exploding Taco diarrhea, Prednant Men, LMAO all we need now for this freak show is a turd in a punch bowl and a naked chicken and we're all set! LMAO!

    Great update Geni!
     
  14. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

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    Thanks for the reviews. :)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Gables Estates, house, 3pm

    Scott: You're going where?

    Lori: The Melon.

    Scott: And you just happened to run into Tom's brother.

    Lori: Yep. He was getting stitches looked at.

    Scott: No kidding.

    Lori: Come on, Scott. I don't have any real friends and besides, you can watch the kids for a couple hours.

    Scott: Why do you always manage to find a Carter? There's a perfectly good Finch right here you can play with.

    Lori: *smiles* How cute. I'm also going there to meet Jeff's sister, Ashley.

    Scott: Have have absolutely no stake in Tom's family.

    Lori: Yes I do. Brook is my sister and Tom is her stepdad, therefore that makes Tom...completely unrelated to me in any shape or form.

    Scott: Are you always this brilliant?

    Lori: *places hand on Scott's chest* Face it, if you had died, I probably would have married Tom. It would have been the worst mistake of my life and he probably would have cheated on me with Anni and divorced me anyway but it is what it is.

    Scott: Wait, why am I always dead in this scenario? It's not like it was a fluke.

    Lori: *pats Scott's chest* I'll be back before you know it. *walks away*

    Scott: *sigh*

    The Melon, 4:04pm

    Lori: *smiles* Hey!

    Jeff: *wraps arms around Lori* You made it.

    Lori: Always.

    Jeff: *lets go* Ash, this is Lori. She's a friend of Tom's.

    Ashley: *sips drink*

    Lori: It's nice to meet you.

    Jeff: *elbows Ashley*

    Ashley: Hi.

    Jeff: Please, have a seat.

    Lori: *slides into booth*

    Jeff: *sits*

    Ashley: *sits*

    Lori: This is really great. Tom always makes it seem like he has no family so it's a real treat to prove him wrong.

    Jeff: Well, he always was the black sheep of the family; I'm not surprised.

    Lori: Black sheep?

    Jeff: Yeah, he keeps spreading lies about our parents. The one time my father's arrested, Tom goes off about how he did all these things and he's finally been caught, bla bla bla. No wonder he had to leave.

    Lori: What was he arrested for?

    Jeff: It was a stupid domestic thing. Tom called 9-1-1 when he was 8, thinking there was an assault going down. The cops couldn't even get a straight story out of him.

    Lori: Maybe he was scared.

    Jeff: He had it out for my father ever since he was little. It's probably because they weren't related.

    Lori: *blinks* Really.

    Ashley: Mom had an affair.

    Lori: *looks at Ashley*

    Jeff: One-night stand.

    Lori: ...Wow. He didn't tell me that.

    Jeff: My dad did everything for him--treated him like his own. What does Tom do? Turns around and stabs him in the back.

    Lori: That's interesting because Tom told me a slightly different story about all this.

    Jeff: Really. I'm sorry to hear that.

    Lori: Yeah, he actually told his wife what he told me and the thing is...his story didn't change. Not one aspect.

    Jeff: He's a very good liar.

    Lori: So the stuff about your father stealing morphine from the hospital was a lie too.

    Jeff: *laughs* That's a new one.

    Ashley: I found a syringe once.

    Lori: *looks at Ashley*

    Jeff: What? You never told me that.

    Ashley: It was in the garbage can in the garage. I couldn't have been more than 5 but I know what I saw. *looks at Jeff* Maybe Tom wasn't lying about that.

    Jeff: That's ridiculous.

    Ashley: What if some of the other things were true?

    Jeff: Ash, you were very young. Your memories are skewed.

    Ashley: *looks down at drink*

    Jeff: Besides, you barely know Tom. The rest of us knew what he was about.

    Lori: Have you looked into any of this? Objectively, I mean. There's got to be some public records on your father. It would prove whether or not Tom's lying.

    Jeff: I'm not going to entertain his need to defame our family. He's done enough damage.

    Lori: What if he's right?

    Jeff: He's not. We all had a happy, fruitful life. My mother's death was an accident. Why Tom feels the needs to claim otherwise is beyond me. I mean, the guy's a heroin addict, you really think everything he's said is based in reality?

    Lori: ...I was under the impression that you liked your brother.

    Jeff: He'll always be my family but that doesn't mean I have to believe everything that comes out of his mouth. *places napkin onto table* Excuse me, I have to use the john. *stands, walks away*

    Lori: *looks back*

    Ashley: *leans over table* I want to know the truth.

    Lori: *looks at Ashley*

    Ashley: I've been listening to what my siblings have been saying my whole life but not one of them has bothered to look for actual proof either way.

    Lori: Good. I know a few people who can help us out. Give me your number, I'll call you when I find something.

    Ashley: *nods*

    Miami Crime Lab, 10:30am next day

    Josh: *flips through file*

    Lori: *sneaks over* Hi. Busy?

    Josh: *lifts head* ...How d-

    Lori: I told security I had an appointment with you.

    Josh: CSIs don't really h-

    Lori: Can you do me a favour?

    Josh: Hi uncle Josh, it's so great to see you. I'm sorry that I never call or bring my kids over. By the way, thanks for being with me when I went into labor, that was swell of you.

    Lori: *blinks* ...Was I supposed to pay you?

    Josh: What do you need.

    Lori: *walks around table* I want you to look into Tom. Run him and his family through the database.

    Josh: You haven't left Scott, right? Because I liked his background.

    Lori: I'm doing this for someone else.

    Josh: Follow me.

    A/V lab

    Josh: *typing*

    Lori: Whatever happened to you and Bob? *smiles* I liked you guys together.

    Josh: Actually, I might be able to see him later today. Natalia's over at APL investigating a possible suicide and she wants my help.

    Lori: Oooh, saucy. Ask him out!

    Josh: One step at a time, dear.

    Computer beeps

    Josh: Here we go. Thomas Grey. Born March 12th, 1977.

    Lori: I already know that part. Get to the birth certificate.

    Josh: *scrolls*

    Lori: *staring at screen*

    Josh: Maura Carter is listed as the mother and Dr. R. Carter is listed as the father.

    Lori: Do you have R. Carter's DNA on file? He was supposedly arrested in '85 on a domestic.

    Josh: *types*

    Lori: *bites nails*

    Josh: Yep. Here's his intake. DNA and fingerprints were collected.

    Lori: Awesome, run it against Tom's DNA.

    Josh: *looks at Lori*

    Lori: Please.

    Josh: *looks back at screen*

    15 minutes later

    Lori: *tapping fingers on table*

    Josh: *drinks coffee*

    Computer beeps

    Josh: Aha.

    Lori: *lifts eyes*

    Josh: Not a match.

    Lori: Huh. So Jeff was telling the truth about that. Let's see this domestic violence report.

    Josh: Printed it off for you.

    Lori: *grabs paper* ...Alright.

    Josh: It basically says that the police were called during an argument and since the wife denied anything had happened but Tom claimed something did, they took his father anyway thinking that the wife was just trying to protect her husband. But they did note some bruises on Tom.

    Lori: ...Why would Tom have bruises?

    Josh: Maybe he got in the way of the scuffle.

    Lori: Or the fight wasn't with the mother. Maybe Tom got tired of Daddy's fists.

    Josh: Could be.

    Lori: Can you look up his dad again?

    Josh: Sure. *types*

    Lori: *narrows eyes*

    Josh: Here we are.

    Lori: Does it say whether he has any restrictions? Y'know...from children?

    Josh: No. I can't access the rest of his file, but this is interesting.

    Lori: What?

    Josh: The judge who handled the domestic violence case, was none other than Henry Finch.

    Lori: *frowns* Figures. Two assholes with money.

    Josh: *looks at Lori*

    Lori: I'm sure Henry expunged the really hinky stuff for a price. Is there a way to unlock the rest of the file?

    Josh: I'm thinking it might involve a lot of red tape.

    Lori: But both men are deceased.

    Josh: There was a foundation set up in Dr. Carter's honour. If there was something really bad in his records, I imagine it would damage his name and the children's hospital that the foundation represents might lose its funding. I'm not sure many judges would bother touching that.

    Lori: Damn. I wish Scott had gone to law school instead.

    Josh: Sorry.

    Lori: There might be something else you can check for me. Police reports filed with the hospital he worked for. Anything containing stolen items.

    Josh: *nods, types*

    Lori: *leans back in chair*

    Josh: Got it. Three police reports were filed with NYU Medical Center within 5 years. They claimed batches of morphine went missing.

    Lori: Did they ever have a suspect?

    Josh: A homeless man who frequented the hospital was suspected of stealing but then it was found out that whoever took the drugs, had a key.

    Lori: And they never made an arrest.

    Josh: Not one.

    Lori: Awesome. The justice system at its finest.

    Josh: Do you need anything else?

    Lori: That should do it. *grabs papers from printer* Thanks. *kisses Josh's cheek*

    Josh: You're welcome, sweetie. You're officially tapped out of favours.

    Lori: *smiles*

    TBC.......................
     
  15. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

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    Why all the hate towards Tom? He was telling the truth about his punk ass father, who it seems now is covered by money and Henry Finch. However...the big elephant in the room is that Tom wasn't his father's son...Something tells me that he didn't divluge this information because he doesn't want anyone to know- or he doesn't know himself. Judging by what he's been through, Tom knows though.

    The best thing for Lori to do *even though we all know she won't* is to leave this be. Give Ashley the info and RUN as far away as possible. This is the type of thing that can ruin friendships and lives...

    Awesome drama though:D

    Excellent update!
     

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