CSI:Miami Road Trip: Unlucky Number 13

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Finch, Jan 14, 2010.

  1. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

    Jul 30, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Thanks for the review! :D


    Miami, Street, Day Two

    Horatio: You said you liked sushi?

    Kaylan: Oh yes. It's my favourite.

    Horatio: Fantastic, I know a place.

    Kaylan: *trips over curb*

    Horatio: Oop. *grabs at Kaylan*

    Kaylan: *falls down open sewer drain*

    Horatio: *looks into sewer drain*

    Restaurant, 11:40am

    Horatio: And you said you're a lawyer?

    Theresa: Yep, from Washington. I'm just down here on vacation.

    Horatio: Well. *smiles* I hope it's turned out to be a good one.

    Theresa: *leans closer* Oh yes. *eye twitches*

    Horatio: ...Theresa?

    Theresa: *falls over onto table*

    Waiter: *runs over* What's going on? What happened? *grabs Theresa's hand*

    Horatio: *sips soda*

    Waiter: Oh boy, I think she's had a heart attack or something. I'll call 9-1-1.

    Horatio: *sigh*

    Miami Beach, 12:20pm

    Horatio: *looks around*

    Raye: What a beautiful day.

    Horatio: Mhm. *pulls out gun, kicks sand*

    Raye: What are you doing?

    Horatio: Looking for land mines.

    Raye: ...There are land mines on the beach?

    Horatio: You'd be surprised how many lame things like that end up happening around here.

    Raye: Do you want a smoothie? I could really go for one.

    Horatio: You stay here and don't move. I'll be right back with the smoothies. *walks away*

    Raye: Okay. *sits on sand*

    Sand gives way

    Raye: *looks down at sand* AH! QUICKSAND!

    Smoothie Hut

    Horatio: I'd like two peach smoothies.

    Guy: Got a hot date?

    Horatio: Oh yes. *smiles* I'm going to find my soul mate.

    Guy: Where is she?

    Horatio: *looks back* She's right ov-...*looks around* I could have sworn she was still...all I see is a sun hat.

    Guy: Maybe she took off.

    Horatio: Well at least she didn't die this time.

    Miami Crime Lab, A/V Lab

    Katie: *typing*

    Anni: *walks over, stops* Working a case?

    Katie: A cold case.

    Anni: ...We don't usually work cold cases.

    Katie: I'm going to prove once and for all that Scott funded 9/11.

    Anni: *rolls eyes* Katie, Scott didn't fund anything. Put all of this stuff away and go take your meds.

    Katie: *lifts cell phone* I took this from a box in his closet last week.

    Anni: Why would you do that?

    Katie: I was trying to find Lori's bedroom toys for me and Tim.

    Anni: *scrunches nose* Okay, get to the cell phone part.

    Katie: It has the name 'Bailey' etched on the back. I guess this Bailey girl was living with him a million years ago. So, I ran the old messages through the filter and look what I found. *clicks mouse*

    Anni: *looks up at screen*

    Message plays

    Katie: Tell me if you recognize that voice.

    Anni: It's Scott. He sounds a lot younger though.

    Katie: Mhm. It's because he 'supposedly' left this message on 9/11. How could he have done that if he was inside? HUH? HUH?

    Anni: Because cell phones existed back then too?

    Katie: Alright, answer me this. *types*

    Anni: *places hands on hips*

    Katie: I isolated the background noise. Hear that whistling?

    Anni: Yeah, it's wind.

    Katie: Exactly. He was in a car.

    Anni: No he wasn't.

    Katie: Yes he was. It's all windy.

    Anni: Um, Katie...he was probably trying to get some reception.

    Katie: He left like 8 messages. Sounds like he was pretty desperate for someone to think he was there.

    Anni: That's because he WAS there, Katie.

    Katie: I'm going to run his voice patterns through a program I bought. It'll determine for sure that there are no stressors. No stressors means he wasn't actually scared.

    Anni: Okay, stop. Turn that off.

    Katie: Why?

    Anni: Because this is idiotic. *presses button*

    Screen turns off

    Anni: If you want to solve a case, there are plenty to go through here. In reality.

    Katie: But I just broke the case wide open.

    Anni: No you didn't. *snatches cell phone* You didn't have permission to take this so I'm going to bring it back. You go to the break room and think about what you did. *walks away*

    Katie: ...She must be working for the UFOs.

    Break Room, 1:20pm

    Horatio: *looks down at coffee*

    Katie: *walks over, sits*

    Horatio: What are you in for?

    Katie: Tried to solve 9/11. You?

    Horatio: My dates keep dying.

    Katie: Bummer.

    Horatio: A piano actually fell on one. A PIANO. You tell me that isn't some kind of divine sign.

    Katie: Maybe you should start dating guys.

    Horatio: Why?

    Katie: Women obviously aren't working out for you.

    Horatio: I'm not really a fan of ass hair.

    Katie: *pats Horatio's back* I have yet to find someone who is.

    Gables Estates, House, 2pm

    Lori: Dom! Get your baseball stuff out of the living room!

    Dominick: *runs downstairs* Can I go to the park with some friends?

    Lori: No. You're supposed to be cleaning your shit off the floor.

    Dominick: But I just said I'd go.

    Lori: That's too bad. *grabs Dominick's shoulders, turns him around* Move it, soldier.

    Dominick: *bends over, grabs bat* Dad would let me go.

    Lori: Dad's not here.

    Doorbell rings

    Dominick: *stands* Can I go after I clean?

    Lori: Maybe. That bathroom upstairs had better be bloody spotless.

    Dominick: *runs upstairs*

    Lori: *walks over to foyer, opens door*

    Anni: Hey. Is Scott home?

    Lori: He took Steph to get some school supplies. What do you need?

    Anni: I just wanted to return this phone. *hands over phone*

    Lori: *takes phone*

    Anni: Katie stole it from your closet.

    Lori: I told him to throw this thing out last year.

    Anni: You really shouldn't let your mother into your bedroom. I guess she was looking for toys or something.

    Lori: HA. *smiles* She will find none. *looks around* Scottdoesn'tlikethem. *walks away*

    Anni: *smirks*


    Lori: *throws tea bag into pot*

    Anni: How was Dom's camping trip?

    Lori: He had fun...I think. At least Dad didn't say he burned anything down.

    Anni: That's always a good sign.

    Lori: Yeah, oddly enough he's actually listening to me. Remind me to check for subcutaneous bruising.

    Anni: Speed doesn't discipline children that way. He strikes fear into their hearts with a glance, not with fists.

    Lori: So he leaves the fists for his wives.

    Anni: ...I brought this on myself.

    Lori: I just hope Dom's left with a lasting impression. Scott doesn't seem to be able to get through to him.

    Anni: Maybe they just need some more time together. He does spend a lot more of his free time with Speed.

    Lori: That's because he's actually home.

    Anni: Scott doesn't work.

    Lori: Uh huh, that's what he tells me too.

    Anni: He does work?

    Lori: APL keeps sending him home.

    Anni: So he misses it; can't fault him for wanting to be productive, especially since he's nowhere near retirement.

    Lori: He can be productive at home. I've got a million things he can do here.

    Anni: Then communicate that to him.

    Lori: Yeah, if I can get him to sit down for more than 3 seconds.

  2. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

    Jun 22, 2005
    Likes Received:
    :guffaw::guffaw::guffaw: Katie...does her insanity know any bounds? I'm willing to bet ....NO. Seriously, she shouldn't have any free time, free time in crazy's hands could spell disaster...

    Horatio and his fail dates. Really, shouldn't he look into just staying single? I mean, he's becoming the freakin face of death or something. A PIANO...what more does he need?

    Scotty...if he doesn't start taking time out for family, they are going to resent it...And that's not a good thing.

    Excellent chapter, Geni!
  3. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

    Jul 30, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Thanks for the review! :D


    Miami Crime Lab, Ceiling Vent

    Donahinkle: *rolls cords around* Up and down and around we go, through the fire and kaboom they blow! *cackles*

    Trace Lab

    Tom: *lifts head* ...Did you hear that?

    Calleigh: No.

    Tom: I thought I just heard cackling.

    Calleigh: Maybe it was the GCMS.

    Tom: No, I keep hearing it. I heard it in Ballistics earlier.

    Calleigh: New air conditioning system?

    Tom: Maybe I'm just going insane.

    Break Room, Ceiling Vent

    Donahinkle: *peeks through vent*

    Break Room

    Horatio: I don't understand. Why am I not allowed to be happy?

    Katie: Sometimes it's just not in the cards.

    Horatio: How many cards do I have to go through?

    Katie: *pats Horatio's back* You'll find love someday. But you might try to stay out of cancer clinics, drug dens, the causeway and pretty much anything near the Everglades.

    Inside Vent

    Donahinkle: Soon, Horatio Caine, you will be mine. *rubs hands together* No woman can stand between the love you don't know you have for me yet. MWAHAHAHA!

    Break Room

    Katie: *looks around* Did you hear that?

    Tom: YES! *runs in* I followed it all the way to here! It can't just be me.

    Horatio: ...Have you smoked something today, son?

    Tom: No. Katie heard it too.

    Horatio: Which is why I ask.

    Katie: It sounded like a woman. *GASP* THE LAB IS HAUNTED BY SPEED'S GHOST!

    Tom: ...Speed isn't a woman. And he isn't dead.

    Katie: *crying* He was too young.

    Tom: He isn't dead, Katie.

    Katie: *wipes eyes* I hope you're dancing in the jewelry stores in Heaven. Oh and while you're up there, tell Riley I said hi and tell Jesse Cardoza he can go to Hell. Just up and leave like that, what a wiener.

    Tom: Who's his Jesse guy everyone keeps talking about?

    Horatio: He's part of the Legend of the Fallen.

    Katie: Oh yes, the Fallen.

    Tom: *sits on couch* Do I want to know?

    Katie: People here tend to disappear every 5 years or so and nobody knows why. Tyler once hypothesized that there was a Bermuda Triangle in the A/V lab but since it's in there, we can't get it on tape. Anyone who supports the theory disappears within a matter of seasons.

    Tom: Uh huh.

    Horatio: Legend has it, Speed fell into the Black Hole once.

    Katie: *elbows Horatio* Bermuda Triangle.

    Horatio: But we're in Miami.

    Katie: IT'S A TRIANGLE!

    Horatio: Okay, fine. Black hole triangle.

    Katie: No, regular triangle. *looks at Tom* Anyway, Speed fell into it once when he tripped on his shoelaces. Y'see, he figured out a way to crawl out and he's here today for that very reason.

    Tom: Then why doesn't he ever talk about it?

    Katie: No one talks about it. It gives you amnesia. It's why he seems to think he's still 32 even though he's like...80.

    Horatio: He isn't 80.

    Tom: I wish I was working at the PD.

    Katie: Why? It smells like stale coffee in there.

    Tom: It was quiet and you weren't there.

    Katie: Lori was there an awful lot though. Hey now, it's why you liked it there.

    Tom: Lori and I are barely speaking.

    Katie: Aw how come?

    Tom: She betrayed me for the last time.

    Katie: Oooh, DUN DUN DUNNNN. So?

    Tom: I have to stop letting her take advantage of my kindness.

    Horatio: Or your wallet.

    Tom: It's not fair, you know. She never stole money from Scott and he's a zillionaire.

    Katie: I can't wait until he dies. *smiles* Lori gets all his money and then I can get some from her.

    Tom: ...You can get some from her now.

    Horatio: Alright. *stands* We need to get to the bottom of this phantom cackling. Any ideas?

    Tom: We could check the walls.

    Horatio: Ghosts don't hide in walls, they hide under the bed.

    Tom: ...There are no beds in the lab.

    Katie: There's one in the supply closet downstairs but it's probably old and grungy by now. *smiles*

    Tom: I don't want to know.

    Katie: *smile fades*

    Horatio: I'll get the flashlights, you guys start investigating.

    Tom: So you're just going to stand there and watch.

    Horatio: I'm supervising.

    Tom: That's boss speak for 'I'm gonna stand here and watch'.

    Horatio: What's wrong with that?

    Tom: You need to pull your weight around here.

    Horatio: *points finger* INSUBORDINATION! *jumps up and down*

    Tom: *rolls eyes* Baby.


    Donahinkle: *opens cabinet, grabs guns*

    Cynthia: *walks in, stops* What are you doing in here?

    Donahinkle: *points gun at Cynthia* If you don't wanna fall into the Triangle, I suggest you scaddaddle.

    Cynthia: *turns around, runs away*

    CSI Garage

    Delko: *opens car door*

    Natalia: ...What's that smell?

    Delko: It's the Hummerhome. It hasn't been used in a year.

    Natalia: Is that rotting food?

    Delko: Uh...no, it's...something else.

    Natalia: *wide-eyed* A body?

    Delko: Sort of.

    Natalia: ...You had a pet in there, didn't you. Eric, we've gone over this. You have to take care of a pet just like you have to take care of the hair on your face and we both know you're bad at that.

    Delko: It's not a pet, it's a teddy bear.

    Natalia: Excuse me?

    Delko: Grizzle. *smiles* He's a Grizzly bear.

    Natalia: There's a rotting teddy bear in the Hummerhome.

    Delko: I was pouring all of my cologne into the tub to attract Calleigh and Grizzle fell in. Nobody's cleaned out the cologne and Grizzle couldn't be saved.

    Natalia: So you just left it.

    Delko: I'm still hoping to attract Calleigh.

    Natalia: With year-old cologne and a rotting teddy.

    Delko: Is that not romantic enough?

    Natalia: No. It's actally kind of disgusting. If you want to attract Calleigh, just be yourself.

    Delko: Being myself is what got us to the 'just friends' stage of our relationship. I need to do something drastic and fantastic.

    Natalia: Be a poet. You're halfway there.

    Delko: Hey. *snaps fingers* What if I wrote her a song?

    Natalia: Can you sing?

    Delko: I can dance.

    Natalia: That's not really the same thing.

    Delko: It all leads to the same outcome, right? Just like bullets and marijuana.

    Natalia: So you're going to choreograph her something.

    Delko: Yeah. I'll be a modern-day Backstreet Boy. *smiles* I'm the ethnic one.

    Natalia: *stares at Eric*

    Donahinkle: *sneaks in, picks up wrench*

    Natalia: *looks at Donahinkle* Hey! You can't be in here!

    Donahinkle: *blinks*

    Delko: *turns around*

    Katie: *runs in* I GOT HER! *shoves burlap sack over Donahinkle*

    Donahinkle: *screams*

    Katie: HA! *tackles Donahinkle*

    Donahinkle: *struggles* Get off of me or I'll sic your lover boy onto you in Africa again!

    Katie: Busted, bitch.

    Tom: *runs in, stops* Did you get her?

    Donahinkle: Try all you will but I have this whole lab rigged to blow. So unless you want to attend a barbeque starring the cast of CSI:Miami, I'd suggest you let me go.

    Tom: You put bombs in the lab? Where's your medication?

    Donahinkle: On the bathroom sink in my hotel room.

    Tom: How surprising. *grabs Donahinkle*

    Donahinkle: I can't see anything.

    Tom: C'mon Katie, let's drive her out of town.

    Katie: What if she blows us up?

    Tom: Something tells me she's a few sticks short of a fuse.


    Horatio: *looks around* What am I supposed to be finding up here?

    Delko: A bomb. Or lots of them.

    Horatio: What does that look like?

    Delko: ...Horatio, you were on the bomb squad.

    Horatio: What's a bomb squad?

    Delko: Just pull the wires out and don't blow anything up.

    Horatio: *closes cell phone* I can do this. I'm Horatio Caine, the last American cowboy. Even though I'm from New York. And I've never been on a horse. Actually, I'm pretty terrified of horses, it's why I drive a Hummer. The black clothes are pretty cool though; makes me feel sexy and slim at the same time. But we won't tell anyone about those matching heels I found at Wal-Mart.

  4. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

    Jun 22, 2005
    Likes Received:
    :guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw: Horatio... I always thought it was dangerous to even wonder what his thoughts were. Now, apparently, they're about sliming black sexy suits, and a pair of heels he found in ...Wal-mart?:wtf: Truly disturbing...

    Donhinkle...insanity...doesn't that say enough? The Black Triangle...so that explains everything.

    Delko and his teddy bears...A forgotten teddy bear that smells like a rotting corpse...Methinks that Delko needs to find a hobby...

    Excellent update...

    PS... Keep on truckin' H!

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