Quotes you WON'T hear - Pt 2

Nick knows McKeen is the killer, but can't prove it..

He standing behind a barber's chair sharpening his blades..

McKeen walks in, "I hear you are the best in town.."

Nick (with a Cockney British accent) walks up to McKeen with an evil smile: How's 'bout a shave?"

Nick wakes up smiling and goes to work.

McKeen walks in (has a plan to kill to Nick too): What are you doing after work?

Nick smiles: I don't know McKeen.

McKeen rubs his chin: God I need a shave..

Nick: I will beg your indulgence sir, but I am a trained barber.

McKeen: Stokes why are talking in an English accent?

Nick pulls shaving cream out of his locker (he went shopping before coming to work) and shakes it, "Have a seat Sir."

McKeen: Well okay, but I ain't payin' you.

Stokes: That's okay (holds switchblade up in the air) This one's on Warrick..

slash!!!! McKeen falls to the ground gagging. Nick is covered in blood. Grissom walks in and looks at Nick and then at McKeen and simply says, "We're having a barbacue after work, looks like you took care of the food for us Nick."

Heheheheh if only..
 
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That is sick. Funny but sick.:thumbsup: I've been trying but failling to come up with Ecklie and Grissom in the same encounter group.:)
 
Love the Sweeny Todd one! :guffaw:too funny.

Nick could sing "I slashed the sheriff, but I did not slash the deputy!" :lol:
 
Here's my first attempt:

Dismayed Ecklie shows up in Grissom's office:

Grissom: Can I help you Ecklie?

Ecklie: I've gotten word from informants that you have been chloroforming Catherine and Sara for pure pleasure.

Grissom: Oooookay.......so....

Ecklie: SO?! And you tie them up at your apartment?! Why?!!

Grissom: Because they enjoy being under my control! *smiles with utter defiance*

Ecklie seeths with anger but then is knocked out by blowdarts blown out through a tube on Sara's mouth.

Grissom: That takes care of that.
 
At the barbacue:

Catherine: God's that good..

Wendy: Very tasty....good job..

Ecklie: Mmm.mm..seems a little stringy

Grissom: Well, thanks to Nick we've got enough meat to last us through any crisis..right Nicky..

Nick smiles evily..

After in Ecklie's office, Grissom tells him: You know Eckie...you're lookin' kind of scraggly...

Ecklie rubs his face: Yeah I could use a shave..

Nick sits up in the chair and holds his razor: How's bout a shave..Ecklie..
 
Grissom to Brass (reffering to a female suspect, or lady heather, if you'd like!):

Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?

Steve Martin said this in the Pink Panther. Funniest line in the movie! And most un-Grissom line ever! I think.
 
(We see Grissom on camera inside of an out-house with flies flying all around it)

Grissom: Hey everyone! Check this out: I have something VERY IMPORTANT to say!

(Grissom turns to the side, farts with green gas coming out of his butt. He turns around and begins laughing)

* * *

Catherine: Where can I plug in my straightening iron?

Ecklie: There's a plug inside the communal washrooms.

Catherine: But I'm not Catholic!

Ecklie: Not COMMUNION.... COMMUNAL!

Sara: It means we shower together. IDIOT!


* * * *

(Some of the crew are involved in a game of dodgeball and not doing too well)

Greg: We can do this! We just gotta believe in ourselves!

Wendy: Oh I believe. I believe that YOU SUCK!!!!
 
Grissom playfully slaps Hodges on the back. "Don't worry, Dave," Grissom says. "As long as I'm head of graveyard shift, your official job title will be Emperor Of The Lab and you'll be paid three times as anyone else in the lab."
 
Warrick: Same old, same old. Fingerprints, blood spatter, trace fibers. It looks like we will be doing this forever.
Grissom: Yes, but I love it. We both will be doing this together fifty years from now. Now go help the newbie, Holly, with her job. She probably will be here years from now, too.
 
A page from the Simpsons to be used shamelessly in regards to Nick's mental health:


Nick walks up to the nursing station at Vegas Happy Mental Health Institute


Nurse: Can I help you sir?

Nick: Yeah I'd like to admit myself please, I'm seeing my best friend who was just shot walking in the streets..

Nurse: OH I'm sorry to hear that sir, just sign right here and we'll admit you right away.

Nick: Thanks (he signs some forms)

Two men in white appear.

Nurse: Now Mr. Stokes, would you like these two men to walk you to your padded cell? Or would you like to be dragged away kicking and screaming?

Nick: Oh kicking and screaming please...

The men in white grab Nick by the arms and drag him off as he screams and kicks..
 
Nurse: Now Mr. Stokes, would you like these two men to walk you to your padded cell? Or would you like to be dragged away kicking and screaming?

Nick: Oh kicking and screaming please...
Click to expand...

ROTFLMAO! :guffaw: Poor Nick. But the idea of them asking him which he prefers and him choosing the latter just cracks me up. :D :lol:
 
(Queen Latifah is making a guest appearance on CSI as a visiting CSI from Oakland assisting with a case. She walks up and greets everyone warmly and then Greg steps up to her with a smile.)

Greg: I've never seen a CSI like YOU before.

Queen L: EXCUSE me?!?!?!

Greg: You're really big... AND LOUD!

Queen L: WHAT DID YOU SAY? Oh NO YOU DIDN'T!

(Grissom, Nick and Warrick are having to hold her back while Greg is doing fake karate poses to try to protect himself)

Grissom: Okay everyone! Settle down! Settle down!

(Queen L and Greg calm down a bit and stand next to everyone to get Grissom's instructions. Greg looks at her and smiles with a twinkle in his eyes!)
 
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